How to Deal with Children's Temper Tantrums

How to deal with children's temper tantrums?
All children throw temper tantrums and all children grow out of them, it is my belief that in growing up they try to figure out where they stand , they do not understand diplomacy ,reasoning nor do they partake of the social graces that come from experience.

Dealing with these tantrums is not easy ,the 'experts' say to remove the child from the room and allow them to cool down before they return. The 'experts' tell us to ignore the outbursts ,giving no attention or reaction whatsoever. Huh! IF YOUR IN A SUPERMARKET are you going to ignore, No, You will try anything and everything to shut them up, bribery is the most effective, sweets usually worked wonders for my kids or a stop off at the park on the way home but this doesn't really teach them long term, it is suggested in a lot of child rearing manuals that you crouch to their eye level and calmly but firmly let them know that this behaviour is not acceptable. Also you must let them know what the consequences will be should they persist .

They grew out of it ,to a point, eventually. Promise.

How can you get your toddler to eat his/her food?

Do you have likes and dislikes of food? Of course you do and so do your children. If your child appears to have developed F.E.S. [fussy eater syndrome] only eating certain food and rejecting others, its just possible they have taken a dislike to that food ,we all have cravings for certain foods and not at all bothered by anything else even if they were the best thing since sliced bread the week before, maybe your child feels like this.

It is another matter if they have gone off food altogether and refuses to eat anything, My friend had this problem and was advised in the first instance to offer the child anything she wanted in order to start her eating, once started the child was given a shelf in the fridge whereby she could help herself when hungry and was gradually introduced back to meals with the family.

How do you potty train?

Potty training seems to be the number one priority for every parent, your child will be potty trained when they are ready and not before. Introducing them to the idea of toilet training is good sense, when they soil or wet their nappies/diapers tell them that the potty would be a lot easier and then they could wear big girl/boy pants.

The trick is to not make a big thing of it , they will learn ,children don't go to school in nappies do they.?

You can now find lots of fun potties, some play music and others in shapes of animals all of which encourage your child to use them.

How do you break a child's defiance?

There are many variations of defiance depending on the culture to which a child has been born in to. If you have ever watched 'super-nanny' she has a brilliant way of teaching a child to tow the line to behave in an acceptable way without damaging their personalities or free will.

What she suggests is a 'naughty step' where the misbehaving child is sat for no more than one minute for each year of their life. e.g if your child is two they sit for two minutes.

This is a brilliant way that a child can learn the appropriate social graces.

My children, all of which have grown up and moved away from home, two of which have good stable jobs and live to the best of their abilities both in work and within their social circles. The third well he is the subject of two further hubs coming soon, he has his problems but is generally a good person in his own right. Don't get me wrong I love him to bits , but his young life went haywire.

My children grew up in the era of Dr Spock and I had none of the advantages or so I perceive as parents do today. My advice ,love your kids, they will thank you in the long run. No parent can do any more.

An interesting fact for you. The first thing an elephant trainer teaches a baby elephant is not to escape. He does this by chaining the infant's leg to a large log so if the baby elephant tries to escape, he gives up, realizing the log is too big for him to pull. Even when the elephant becomes adult, all the trainer needs to do is chain it to that same size log, even though the elephant is so large it could easily pull it along and escape.

Why? Because of the conditioning the elephant received as an infant: that it would be hopeless to try and escape. It becomes a prisoner of the past.

Final words

It is well to remember the above point, all children remember and are affected by their childhood , it moulds them into the people they grow up to be.

These words are my opinion only .

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Comments 13 comments

Lgali profile image

Lgali 7 years ago

good hub

Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall Author

Thanks Lgali, you don't say a lot do you? love a chat sometime

Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 7 years ago from East Coast, United States

hawkesdream, it never ceased to amaze me how a screaming, maniac of a kid, defiant and obnoxious as all get out would quickly hop onto a chair for a time out - i guess they know they need it

Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall Author

Well Dolores, it seems to work on the tele eventually anyway, I could never get it to work two of my boys, but the third one it worked,

Think it was third time lucky, or practice makes perfect.

abinavis profile image

abinavis 7 years ago from Bat Island

Fantastic thingking. Absoultely agree.

Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall Author

Thanks for dropping in ,abinavis, and for leaving a comment.

k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

Hawkesdream, This is a great hub for people with small children, or thinking of having children. Very realistic and it gives hope that they will grow out of some of the more frustrating behaviors.

My favorite part is, "My advice ,love your kids, they will thank you in the long run. No parent can do any more." This is so true and the most important part of being a parent!

Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall Author

Thanks K@ri, got goosebumps reading your response, don't understand why.

Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall Author

Thanks LadyV, much appreciated

GiftedGrandma profile image

GiftedGrandma 7 years ago from USA

Great hub. Brings back alot of memories raising four children!

Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall Author

Thankyou for reading Grandma, much appreciated.

katyzzz profile image

katyzzz 7 years ago from Sydney, Australia

If only we could be perfect parents, that would make it easy to love all of our children and they to love us.

Unfortunately all of us will get it wrong somewhere along the line.

Perfect kids? no such animal that I know of.

Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall Author

katyzzz, you are so right, lol, when i find one , think i would clone him or her.,

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