Teenage Dating - Sleepover at Parents House
What About Sleepovers?
What do you think of teenage dating involving sleepovers at the parents' house? Someone recently raised this question, getting mostly negative replies, A few women stated they currently allow this behavior in their homes. This type of activity may occur in countries or sections of countries with liberal sexual mores.
Amy Schatel in the book "Not under My Roof" compares this activity in the Netherlands and the United States. In the Netherlands, this practice is common with parents often providing protection for the teens. Surprisingly, the teen-age pregnancy rate is lower in that country than in the United States. Families in the Netherlands are known for their self-control and family bonding.
The reason given by the mothers who condone this activity is that they would prefer daughters to have sex under their own roof, using protection, than in a car, at someone's home, at a party or a hangout where it may not be safe. Following are some of the reasons this activity could be detrimental to teens, in response to those who believe it may be safer.
Are Sleepovers a Good Idea?
- Waiting for the one you love
Many people believe in saving themselves for those who make the heart beat faster and shiny stars sparkle. If you follow these mores, you have done it all, too young to have mature understanding. Teens are still growing and learning.
- Risk of pregnancy
What if the protection failed, and a baby resulted. How would the parents feel if they heard the pitter patter of little feet, because they allowed sex in their own home?
Conservative Teen Behavior.
Not in My House
- Opinion of the boys' parents
Would the parents of the boys allow this behavior? These kids are teens, and some parents might be horrified that a parent would allow such behavior. Do you talk to the boys' parents and tell them, or who informs them of the situation? This could bring up a serious problem for all concerned parties.
- Poor relationships with others
The question arises about the friends, family, and neighbors of all concerned. This behavior could cause strained relationships or the end of relationships. Other parents might not allow the teens to associate with the girl and may be angry at the parents for allowing this activity.
- Interference with other activities
The extra pressure and time spent having "fun" could interfere with schoolwork, sports, and many other activities. The priority in high school should be to get an education to prepare kids for college and work. Permissive sexual activity can be a diversion to these goals.
- Sexually transmitted diseases
The other danger is the problem of sexually transmitted diseases. If these girls have multiple boyfriends, or even if not, the teens would need testing for these diseases.
In conclusion, teens and parents must weigh the options and consider the factors above. Teens may not desire such freedom. They might not want to create a bad impression for younger siblings and risk their self-esteem with others. Parents and teens may need to set high standards and set goals for success. Alternately, parents who promote providing teens with protection and a safe place to sleep, say this choice may be better than a car or a cheap motel with questionable protection. The decision about sleepover at parents' house by teenagers is a personal decision.The answer is only one of the many choices a parent and teen will make in life.
Audrey Selig copyright 2012.
Would you allow your teen to have boyfriend/girlfriend spend the night at your house?See results without voting
- Teenage Sex - The Sleepover Question - NYTimes.com
Teenage sex is a source of conflict in American families. It doesn’t have to be.
- Teen Coed Sleepovers I Totally Fine or Out of the Question? - ParentMap
These days, parents are routinely asked to make decisions about sleepovers with guest lists that include boys and girls. Sometimes it’s a closely supervised event at a school, church or synagogue. Sometimes it’s an invitation to a party at a friend’s
- Would YOU let your teenage daughter sleep with a boyfriend in your home? | Mail Online
These middle-class mothers do. The alternatives, they insist, are even more worrying...
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