Parenting Tips For Parents Of Teenagers

Hidden Treasure

Teenagers are like buried treasure, sometimes you have to dig deep to find the hidden treasure inside.

How would one define a teenager? Perhaps it is best to define what it is not.

A "teen" is neither a child nor an adult, although quite often they can be both at once. It is a transitional stage of development where growth and maturation occurs. It is a time of not only change concerning their minds, their thoughts, their dreams, their wishes, their likes, their dislikes, their tastes, but also a time of physical change with their bodies. It is a time when one goes through "puberty", the process we call "sexual maturation." It is a time when amidst all this change confusion sometimes occurs. Depending upon a person's ability to adapt to change it can cause stress and depression one minute and joy and ecstasy, the next. Maybe, we should just call it the "rollercoaster" ride in the amusement park of life.

What can a parent do to add some constancy and simplicity in this world of inevitable change?

18 Parenting Tips

Ways To Help Your Teens Survive The Change:

  • Know who your teen's friends are. Take an interest in who they are interested in. Remember their friend's names. Make your home a "safe" place that is inviting and warm so that they will want to bring their friends over.

  • Give them boundaries. Even though they may not tell you or show you they like it, they like it. Knowing in advance just what you can and can't do will eliminate all sorts of problems. Clearly define the rules for dating, cell phones, movie ratings, television viewing, appropriate dress, and other areas that might be cause for confusion.

  • Become updated as to the conditions that surround them as they attend school and are among friends. Things have changed quite a bit since you have been in school. Educate yourself on the temptations that they daily face.

  • Make time to have one-on-one experiences with your teen. Date nights are a great time to just spend some time together. Let your teen choose where they want to go. Don't be embarrassed if they don't want their friends to see you together, it is not personal.

  • Let your teen use you as an excuse if they need an excuse. Sometimes they are just waiting for you to say "no" so that they don't have to be in a situation they might be uncomfortable in. Be the "bad guy", you have "big shoulders" and you can take it.

  • Don't "bail them out" of bad decisions or choices that they may have made. Help them learn to make good choices by allowing them to suffer the consequences of their actions. When they become adults the consequences will be much harsher, so let them learn now.

  • Monitor their cell phone and computer time. Beware of dangerous social networking sites, check them out first yourself. Teach them appropriate cell phone manners.

  • Keep a good sense of humor on hand and smile often.

 
  • If you have considered this to be the time to get that job out of the home, rethink that idea. Now is the time that you need to be available for when they want to talk. Be a good listener, offer advice only when they ask. Resist that temptation to solve all their problems for them, this is a critical thinking skill they need to develop.

  • Teach them the value of money. Help them to find a job and teach them to follow a budget. This will be a life skill they will thank you for forever. Working is one of best ways to develop self worth. Help them understand that the luxuries you enjoy took a long time to receive; they shouldn't expect to have them immediately.

  • Hug them every day. Try to come up with at least three positive things each day about your teen and let them know you see them, be sincere, they can spot a faker a mile a way. Never belittle or berate their worth. Help them understand that they are important and loved. You are never too old to get a hug.

  • Be a teacher not a lecturer. A teacher helps the student to participate in the learning experience, while the lecturer is merely a "talking head."

  • Develop better patience. Close your eyes and count to ten before you act. Act and don't react to situations. Do not loose your temper or your self control. Be an example of total coolness, it actually bugs them more sometimes!

  • Most importantly, in this changing world of theirs, be the consistency they need. Whatever you decide be consistent!

Always remember when times are tough, "this too, shall pass." It is a promise that there is a treasure buried in there waiting to be discovered.

Books that can help with the teen parenting process.

Add your advice and share your experience of being a parent with us in the comments below:

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Comments 36 comments

optimisticbob 8 years ago

Just when my teenage sons had tried my patience to the nth degree, they became young men and now are amazing fathers. I can hardly wait for their boys to reach puberty and the trying teenage years.


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

Bob

You are now enjoying the "treasure" with more yet to come. Thanks for visiting my HUB.


C-Lee profile image

C-Lee 8 years ago

This is just wonderful. First-heartwarming, but in addition, full of good advice and a really nice layout with a photo for each bullet.

In The Doghouse, I think you and I use "friend" differently in our respective hubs. I intend to refer to the fullest meaning of friend: someone you love and with whom you share a bond of mutual trust, whereas I sense you use it here as referring to a peer you might hang out with. My guess is that we each bring to it our own cultural backgrounds.


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

C-Lee

Thanks for the compliments on my HUB. I respect your opinions. As for the friend definition, I think that in the context we are both using the word, it can mean both things. I was using it to reinforce the fact that a teen still needs a parent, but you are right a parent should and most definitely is their best friend also. Thank you once again for your comments.


cgull8m profile image

cgull8m 8 years ago from North Carolina

I wish every parent reads it. Every bad story that happens because they fail to follow these points. How sad they are teaching to become rich but yet they don't teach these valid points to have a richer and happy minds.


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

cgull8m

Thank you for you comments and for you visit to my HUB.  I am certainly no expert on "teens" but I have had quite a bit of experience with high school students, and my observation is that they are awesome!


Fancy That profile image

Fancy That 8 years ago

Wow. I think you're more of an expert then you think you are. Perfect advice.


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

Hi Fancy

Nope, I am just a regular mom, not an expert to say the least. I do know that these things will work though if you just keep your head and use them. Thank you for the compliment though.


Lucky Dog profile image

Lucky Dog 8 years ago

No comment! LOL! ;)


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

Lucky Dog

May I take some credit with you? lol


solarshingles profile image

solarshingles 8 years ago from london

There are never enough good tips and tricks how to be a good parent to your kids. It is a pleasure to read your hub about parenting tips about our teens. They could be so very complicated and even wild, sometimes. Your hubs about children and teens are so very real and positive, because you are written on the basis of your very rich personal experiences. Diana, thank you!


kidigit 8 years ago

This is some good advice for parents of tweens as well.


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

Solarshingles,

Teens are truly at a challenging stage in life. I was fortunate enough to teach high school students for 7 years so I have a little bit of experience with teens to say the least. I actually love this stage of life. They are so awesome to be around, especially once you can get past that thick exterior some of the teenagers have constructed. These parenting tips again are very simple, but effective at any level of child rearing. Gotta just love a teen!


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 8 years ago from India

What a refreshing hub! One is so used to people of our generation whining about their teenage kids and just waiting for an excuse to find fault with them. I love your advice! I believe too that you need to balance the parent-friend persona - children that age somehow seem to feel secure in a disciplined set up though they would never admit it! May I add one more thing?

LISTEN to your kids for at least 10 minutes every day without commenting - most teens want to vent but don't because they know it brings on a long 'lecture' session.

Thanks you for a wonderful hub - I have a great teenage daughter and I feel awful when parents go on and on about their kids - what examples we do set at times, to be sure!


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

kidigit,

I think that this would apply to tweens also. Just some solid parenting tips for any age really.


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

Shalini,

I couldn't agree with you more, listening is a key to understanding. Teens often just want to have an ear without a lecture attached. I love teenagers, they are so fresh and teachable still. They crave boundaries and want to learn. They need parents, not friends...they have enough friends their own age. I know that sounds strange, but a parent is the best friend they will ever have. Enjoy your daughter... it is a great age!


pjdscott profile image

pjdscott 8 years ago from Durham, UK

Your tips are really useful - it's a fine and difficult balancing act being a parent to a teen, I imagine!

Well done for an original and most useful hub.


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 8 years ago from India

Thanks - we do enjoy her! I'm sorry - I read your other hub after this and realised that listening featured right on top of the list so I guess my post was redundant :(

However, here's to more parents enjoying their kids - these years pass so fast - let's hold on to the joys of bringing them up while we can!


mcarolyn profile image

mcarolyn 8 years ago from Philippines

Teenagers are more on exploring about their selves! Teens life brings so much enjoyment, but PARENTS should always be at their back to remind and guide their teens.


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I remember thinking that when my kids got to the teen years, we'd be great friends - do stuff together, talk about absolutely anything. While I was doing that little daydream, I forget to factor in that they would be TEENAGERS....most teenagers don't want people to know they even have parents.

Now that they're older, they tell me that I was a lot smarter during those years than they realized at the time. :) My daydream came true (at least to a degree), but not until they were past their teen years.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

Great Hub, great advice!


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

@pjdscott- First of all, thank you. Next, yes, it is a wonderful balancing act to parent a teenager. These are simply a few bits of advice to help one stay on the beam. lol

@Shalini- No prob, I think that adding listening to the list is not redundant at all. It is a priority in any parent/ child relationship. Thanks for re- emphasizing it!


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

@mcarolyn- I agree that the teen years are ones of personal exploration. It is important that a parent be that gentle guidance that they need to feel during that exploration. That is what a good parent does, they teach. Thanks.

@Shirley- You are right, there are times in a teens life that they do not want to show their parents off! lol Thankfully that stage passes quickly enough. There are times in a teens life when their parents do not want to show them off...lol That too passes.

@gwendymom- Thank you.


Lilymag profile image

Lilymag 8 years ago from Upstate New York

The teen years are definitely the hardest, even if everything in the homelife is going great. My best advice would be to stay involved, ask questions, even follow them if you have to(if you believe they are lying)! My parents did it, and I am so grateful they did! This in the long run shows them you care enough. They may not like you now, but they will definitely respect you later!


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

Lilymag,

The teen years can be a trying time no doubt about it. I love your additional suggestions. I do think that staying involved in their life is imperative to know what is going on with them. I agree they may not like the additional involvement but they will respect that decision, even if it is years later. Parenting is really a full time job isn't it?


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 8 years ago from India

Ah...if only more adults treated it with half the commitment and hard work they put into their careers!


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

Shalini,

I think that the reason it is not looked at as a "worthwhile" profession today has to do with the media and the representation that "stay at home mothers" get. It appears that the business world is much more rewarding, but that is just an illusion. I can't think of a more influential position to have than that of a parent. You can change the world faster by doing it one person at a time. That is a good change, an eternal one. For in that one child comes a family line that extends beyond our limited time perspective. Work will never compare to the work you do in your home. I believe that to be true.


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 8 years ago from India

When I left a high paid job in advertising 16 years ago, everyone told me I was a fool. Of course I miss it - but I wouldn't change things for the world. I look at our 16 year old and know it was absolutely worth it. She's not perfect - but I think she has the strength to handle the world and most of all, be kind and loving when needed. Like you said, through one child, we pass it forward to a long line - what could be more important?


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California Author

Shalini,

What a wonderful gift you have given your child, and she in return becomes a gift to you. This my friend is success. Blessings!


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 8 years ago from India

Thank you! Blessings to you too. You know something - I think I'm the one that was given the gift - not to miss her growing up :)


william Powell 7 years ago

when do you let your teen go hang out how do you trust them is it a goog thing to let them hang out knowing they are going to get in trouble. you cant keep them locked in the house forever although this would prevent a nuber of different things it's just not realistic can any one help me


SEO Expert Kerala profile image

SEO Expert Kerala 7 years ago from KERALA

read more on Role of parents during board examshttp://hubpages.com/hub/parents-role-and-expectati...


Amy M profile image

Amy M 7 years ago from Manzano Mountains

Great advice to all who have teens in their lives. This is my favorite part of their lives and at times the most stressing. I have a 15 year old and a 17 year old still at home and my husband and I are dreading the day they are gone. People frequently compliment us on our children. My reply is that we had great material to work with.


TPSicotte profile image

TPSicotte 5 years ago from The Great White North

Great tips. Thanks


gajanis786 profile image

gajanis786 5 years ago

Excellent tips for parents....these must be known by all the parents so they do not mess out things with their kids at times because this is really a changed era and things should be coped with great carefulness and I think your points give them a really nice feeding for tackling their teenage kids....thanks.


itsvssudheesh profile image

itsvssudheesh 4 years ago from kochi,kerala, india

Nice hub. It is very informative.

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