Teen Advice for Responsible Parenting

Teens Make Decisions Everyday, Which Ultimately Determine Their Happiness Now and for Their Future...

Finding good teen advice is not always easy...
Finding good teen advice is not always easy...

Getting teen advice these days really isn't all that difficult. There are a multitude of resources for parents available today. Getting good teen advice is a very different story.

Once upon a time... there will always be two teens, that will stand in the same place at the same time on their journey of life... Dependent upon the critical choices that they make at this time - they will determine a journey through life - which will impact numbers untold.

This place will come - when they learn for themselves, the WHY-- of choosing well.

How can such a sharp fork, even a knife -- come in life, and at such a time - to a mere teenager? These teens -- who know so little of the world and its consequences...

What kind of teen advice are you giving as a parent, to your teenagers during these times? Are you holding your teens accountable for decisions they are making?

Are teens of today, during these years -- to be free of deep decisions and accountability for their choices?

This is the message that seems to come from every direction when you are a young teen and even into early adulthood. Don't think about that now. Why? You have plenty of time ahead to deal with the serious things of life. For now, the teen years should be a playful time of unrestrained playfulness.

Well, at least this seems to be a common attitude amongst many teens in society today.

Are these attitudes - only held by these teenagers? Much of the teen advice that is available to even teens themselves -will echo these messages as credible.

Who tells our teenagers "no" -- today? Who even suggests, that they wait... at least for a little while -- until they understand the consequences of choices, a bit more? What happened to delayed gratification or the principle and power of such discipline?

Should Teens Have Boundaries and Limits?

Why do we even have PG-13 ratings anyway? Is ANYONE enforcing these guidelines with teens today? Why not? Most parents seem to think, that once a child is thirteen - that now, they are mature enough to watch anything, that they choose. It is NOT that their parents can now consider these PG-13 movies and use their parental discretion as to whether or NOT - their teens are mature enough for viewing the contents.

Have you been to a movie theatre on a Friday night recently, and noticed how young the teens in the audience are these days, watching the same movie, that you the mature adult are old enough to watch? (or at least old enough to decide for yourself)

Excuse me, but when did our teens, today -- ever consider that there were limits on their exposure -- that they must abide by? Where is good teen advice and guidance for today?

Preposterous!

How is it, that so many teens today -- are most likely living a life comparable to most adults -- in what they are exposed to and participating in?

Is there anyone, who actually believes or thinks that these teens, are really ready for this mature lifestyle? Then why the lack of restraint for our teens today? These young people, who are our leaders, mothers, fathers, parents, doctors, counselors, teachers, etc... of tomorrow?

If teens today are not taught the critical principles of choice, consequence and respect for authority - what are the possible results of this lack? What kind of perspective and wisdom, would we expect to find in these future parents? What will they know with conviction, that they may offer to their own children one day?

Where is the line for our teens, and is there a line still -- and who should be drawing that line for teens today?

Hello?

Anybody out there...

If you had to throw out a guess, where do you think that most teens are exposed to the world - first? Meaning -- that which most of us would consider - potentially harmful to our children.

May I suggest, that it is through the media. Television, movies, music, videos, computers, cell-phones, etc...

How is it that our children, and our teenagers are so comfortable with the uncomfortable? And -- have you noticed, that not only among our teenagers, but the comfort level among many "good" parents as well, has become quite tolerant, of that which in past generations would have been outrageous to consider, because it was not tolerable?

These things "were" considered WRONG! Not just things to be tolerated by adults... or perhaps I should say, indulged in by them.

One-on-One Time with Your Teen is Powerful Time Spent

But, It Takes Time To Parent Well... And Never By Assumption!
But, It Takes Time To Parent Well... And Never By Assumption!

A Parent is First a Teacher, Who in the Future Will Be Known as a Best Friend...

Should we be concerned, that our teenagers today -- think that they are our equals, by the time they are thirteen? Where do they possibly even come up with the idea, that they are more equipped to parent themselves, than the parents who brought them into the world?

Could someone please tell me, because I really don't get it -- but, where have all the parents of these liberated teenagers gone? Ah, right... moms and dads give birth... but a parent, at least from this Writer's perspective, is a teacher... A teacher of morals and values, which are meant to guide a child through life, that they themselves will navigate their course with the least amount of pain and sorrow.

A parent - gives good teen advice, that wil assist them in making correct choices - now.

Heartbreak. No loving parent wants to see their young child suffer in any way physically, right? Or even see them have their feelings hurt by some bully on the block.

How is it then, that such lack of direction that is being insisted upon - by teens of parents today -- do not see the emotional crash of these very teens, coming head-on into their futures?

Reason --- bad driving.

As parents, should we not be outraged at the suicide, depression, lack of feelings of worth, etc... that are rampant amongst teens today? Could these symptoms that are being experienced by these supposedly independent and mature teens -- either be caused, or even the consequences directly related to this lack of restraint allowed our teens?

Teen Advice - Teens Still Need Seatbelts in Oder to Move Through Life Safely...

As a parent, what kind of teen advice are you securing your teenager with?

Is the lack of restraint which is being inflicted or allowed, being done so -- by none other than those who profess to be teachers?

Could it be, that good parents today, may be suffering from a lack of delayed gratification themselves, and yet... we claim it is our children who are having such a problem with this?

We call these teenagers, difficult or angry -- particularly our teenagers who have this problem diagnosed. We are even known to call it ENTITLEMENT. In fact, teens are just down right demanding today! Don't you think?

Just where do they get off?

Is it possible, that parents could be afraid, to say no to their teens -- because it is they who are in need of instant gratification? And of course, this becomes generational. Yes, I am talking to the parents of teenagers, right now in particular - those currently parenting ether teens or pre-teens. You know the ones, birth to thirteen?

How difficult is it for a parent to to say no to their teen? How demanding have your teenagers "become"? Anger. Does this sound like a familiar response that you have experienced when saying no, to your "teens"? Was this experience shocking for you as a parent - when one day, your child, who is now a teen, told YOU "No"?

As a parent myself, having raised five children... I must say, that telling our children "no" today - has gotten, I believe.... much more difficult. Why?

Do our children need to be told "No", beginning at about the age of thirteen?

Okay, I am being sarcastic.

Peer Pressure and Issues With Instant Gratification and Entitlement...

Could it be possible, that there is peer pressure on parents, similar to that which we associate with and amongst our teenagers? Peer pressure to be liked by our teenagers, thus we avoid any kind of conflict? How many parents belong to this group - "When I grow up and have kids of my own..."?

Problem is... have parents today, grown-up? Ouch!

So, how is this working for you?

Why do our teens need us to set limits for them, encourage them to abide by these limits and teach them that the results of their choices have long-term effects? How difficult can this be?

Is it or ever was it -- easy to be a parent, in the truest sense?

Why are we ignoring that which we should have come to understand ourselves, through our own experience -- but now, not be willing to teach our children the same life skills?

New-Age parenting - let them learn as they go?

A good question for parents to ask themselves is this -- Who are we taking care of today, when we refuse to parent our teens of tomorrow, while they are yet young and in need of guidance still?

What will be the future for your children... if you are interested in thinking that far out in front?

It is a privilege to be a parent. Parenting is the most difficult responsibility in the world. It requires the best in each of us, so that we may give the best to our children. Our children, are with us in our homes and under our influence - for such a short portion of their total life. These years, are the golden years of parenting.

Don't short-change your wonderful and independent children, of having the kind of parent - who is willing to be a parent.

There is no greater person in the life of any individual, than the person who taught One, the critical skills required - to ensure the greatest happiness in their lives...

Write-On!

A favorite quote about parenting...

"As parenting declines, the need for policing increases. There will always be a shortage of police if there is a shortage of effective parents! Likewise, there will not be enough prisons if there are not enough good homes."

--Neal A. Maxwell, "Take Especial Care of Your Family," Ensign, May 1994, 88

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Please feel free to leave your comments here... 30 comments

In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California

I'm afraid you have hit on an issue that is prevelant in society today, and that is of entitlement. Do you think this is a teen issue alone?


solarshingles profile image

solarshingles 8 years ago from london

I absolutely agree with you about a proper 'guiding and shaping' our children. A discipline and a feeling of responsibility is a very important issue in every one's life. I think, that without them we are just heading towards anarchy and towards the end of safe and stable society. The answer 'NO', a proper explanation, and a personal example are the 'basic building blocks' in upbringing of our children. Poor children, without responsible parents, who don't take enough quality time to spend it with their kids and who rather leave them all day in front of the TV-computer-video game or in the local street.


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

SolarShingles -

Thank you for your very thoughtful comment about parenting teens. I recently read some research papers on divorced parents, and in particular - how this problem with saying no to their teenagers is a real problem.

I can understand how much more challenging, parenting with responsibility, for these parents must be. Most parents who are divorced, have an inward desire to be liked by their children, even more so than parents of teens who are married. I think it must have something to do with forcing choice and personal insecurities?

All teens need parents who are willing to step up to the plate and parent. However, you will never hear this from a teen. lol

Write On!


amy jane profile image

amy jane 8 years ago from Connecticut

Parents are afraid to say no - absolutely! So many teens seem to think they are entitled to get whatever they want. Parents need to set limits, but they also need to listen and communicate and make an effort to understand what their teens are going through. It is difficult for both in this relationship!


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

amy jane -

I couldn't agree with you more. When parents take the time to communicate with their teens, this gives them an edge as a parent. When we know what is happening in their lives, we are able to offer better advice and guidance to our teenagers. Giving good teen advice and guidance is an important part of parenting teenagers.

Knowing when to simply guide, versus allowing them to go forward without any restraints - requires a well informed parent.

Write On!


Cameron 8 years ago

i have a 5 year old and I have been working on teaching her what responsibility is. It's a hard thing to do, but better now than in 10 years.


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

Cameron -

Good for you! Starting good parenting when children are young, will pay-back greatly as they get older. Watch-out though, these upcoming teens are tough. Good teen advice that I recommend from experience with five of my own... stick to your guns when it comes to setting boundaries and limits for your teens. They may give you a very difficult time, but it is so important.

When we as parents, discipline from a loving place and are willing to set bounds - even these stubborn teens - will thank you.... eventually! LOL

Write On!


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal

Great hub and good advises for every parent. Even though I believe there are things which can only be learned before reaching teenage I also believe we can not leave our teens without proper care or without showing them their responsibilities.


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

funride -

That is very true. Allowing teens the agency to choose for themselves, in order that they can learn - is an important part of good parenting. But, before you send them off and they are at those places of choice, good teen advice tells us that that when a teen is consciously aware of potential consequences of that choice - they tend to choose better...

When they do not make the best choices - a good parent stands ready to inflict necessary consequences, as well as discuss and guide their teenager in the future.

Write On!


WeddingConsultant profile image

WeddingConsultant 8 years ago from DC Metro Area

Great thoughts and well written hub, thanks.


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

WeddingConsultant -

With that little baby in arms... you are still afar off from needing to be too concerned about discipline and giving your teen advice:-) Enjoy it!

Write On!


clint 8 years ago

Fantastic hub,I think that all children should have chores of some kind it teaches them to be responsible.As they become older and more responsible There chores need to change to challenge them- I am LDS and have three young adults that I am very proude of. The oldest is married to a Great young LDS man,Number 2 is serving his second deployment in Irac. The youngest is on a Mission for the LDS church!


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

Clint -

It sounds as though you are an excellent parent and have offered some great teen advice to your own teenagers. Teaching our children responsibility when they are young - brings excellent results for their future ability to make good choices. You certainly are an example with your own children, of this truth.

Thanks for sharing.

Write On!


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

Clint -

It sounds as though you are an excellent parent and have offered some great teen advice to your own teenagers. Teaching our children responsibility when they are young - brings excellent results for their future ability to make good choices. You certainly are an example with your own children, of this truth.

Thanks for sharing.

Write On!


jmmoore321 profile image

jmmoore321 8 years ago from Utah

I'm scared to death for when my children are teenagers! Yikes.


Willis Whitlock 8 years ago

I teach Independent Study at an Alternat Education Center. I often see teens who long for someone to care enough to give structure to their life.

Sometimes, they are in the program because, finally, some one is providing that structure and helping them overcome past mistakes. Yet, there are those who think our program will let them get HS diploma without doing any of the work. They live in a home where they are used to getting whatever they want from adults too distracted by their own problems to deal with teens who need better.


robie2 profile image

robie2 8 years ago from Central New Jersey

So true that the decisions made early in life can cast a long and sometiomes tragic shadow. Teens, especially the young ones, need good role models and firm direction --and you are right, so often they don't get it not only from parents but from society as well. Good hub!


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

jmmoore -

LOL... My intentions here are not to frighten the unsuspecting mothers of small children.

It is however, my hope to let more good parents understand why it is so very critical to give good teen advice on parenting most effectively.

Parents must be willing to parent.

Write On!


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

Willis -

What you describe is far too common unfortunately. What is important here, is that even at this late date for many teens - it is when a responsible adult finally steps in and ensures that a teen must meet certain requirements, in order to achieve. Too many of our young people are not being held to standards, before they progress in life.

Often times, it takes getting to extreme points, such as this - before parents realize just how important it is to be the parent.

Parents should never feel, that it is too late to take back their role as a parent. Regardless of how loud a teenager may become. Believe it or not... they will thank you for it. Perhaps not right away, but they will.

Write On!


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

Robie2 -

Thank you.

There are so many voices, not only coming at teens today, but also their own parents.

I honestly believe that many parents today are suffering from the very same issues of their children.... One of these, is that of entitlement. Many parents today, feel that because they have given their children what they themselves did not receive - that these children will adore them. When this is not the case, and parents find that they have actually overindulged their children -- knowing how to course correct can be difficult.

I do not have all the answers. I do know howerver, that when parents finallly decide to parent, regardless of the difficulty - everyone will ultimately benefit.

Write On!


Claudia Goldstein 8 years ago

Teenagers still need structure & discipline even when it comes to movies. As a parent of a pre-teen boy, he still tries me when it comes to what he can get away with. Sometimes the only word that works is "no" and suggest a different route/or movie.


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

Claudia -

Good for you! I often find, that by sitting down and telling a child "why" --actually can work. It does not mean that they must agree with you. Teaching a child why they cannot and should not see an R-rated movie for example - can lead to many important disussions between a parent and child.

As parents, we can take these opportunities to teach our values. Just saying "no" can lead to rebellion. When a child is told, in heartfelt ways "why" they are not allowed to do something - they might be upset, but if this method is used early enough -- can be very effective.

Write On!


The How To Hub profile image

The How To Hub 8 years ago from Australia

wow, what a great hub. I was confronted as a parent, informed as an individual and enriched as a mother. my 12 year old is getting more and more insistant on living in the adult world that he simply isn't ready for yet.


Write On! profile image

Write On! 8 years ago from United States Author

How-to

Good for you to recongnize that your 12-year-old, is not an adult. Although they certainly are ready to jump in full throttle, into an adult world, that as you said, "he simply isn't ready for yet"!

Knowing the kind of teen advice we should offer our head-strong children, is such an important part of parenting teenagers. We don't want to create rebellion, which is so prevalent today -- even with "good" kids. But, we need to be a parent, who is willing to take certain stands with our chidlren.

Recognizing where they are, and how much rope to give them as a teen - is part of good parenting. Most important - when you do relax the "rope", make sure they completely understand their choices and consequences of their choices. Then if they trip -- guide them though the results. When they choose well.... PRAISE them! Don't just take for granted that they will do what it right or make the better choices in life.

Write On!


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Great hub, Write On!

I can remember when my kids were younger, them coming home from school and telling me about how the teacher told them what their legal rights were, and what their parents could and could not do. I was very surprised to say the least. The world seemed to be in a very bad state of affairs. Apparently, young children had the right to adult freedoms with childhood protection.

I'm very lucky....my children grew up to be responsible adults with good hearts, but I often wonder what happened to many of their friends who were of a different bent. Teens think they know everything until it's time to bail themselves out of a jam. That tends to bring the vulnerable child back out in them.

I really don't think giving them more rights than they're mature enough to handle does them much good.


pjdscott profile image

pjdscott 8 years ago from Durham, UK

You have pinpointed a very serious problem in society worldwide. Teens need guidance and support - it does not help them to let them do as they like, as you state. The problem is that it is almost unfashionable to chastise teens today.

A super and well-written piece, thanks!


Patty 7 years ago

I agree with a lot of your thinking. I also have a Hub about this very thing. I believe we need to be calm when giving them the third degree but also be firm and understanding of their needs and structure them on the way to handle life. I have so much more things I want to hit on but I have to go now. bed calls and I need much sleep. But I give you my thumbs up on your Advice and your Hub wish I had the time to do my editing . ^.^

Have a good one.


Teen out of control 6 years ago

Great hub. Very informative. I think spending enough time with the teenager is the most crucial thing in parenting. Through frequent 2-way communication, we can learn more about their thinking and be able to gain their trust.


free4india profile image

free4india 6 years ago

A nice article. I always wonder if a child's character can be really moulded by parents if so how come three children of the same parents of have three different characteristics in spite of having treated them all alike?!


Write On! profile image

Write On! 6 years ago from United States Author

I believe parents not only have the responsibility but should instill good principles in their children. This is how character is developed. However, children have their agency to either accept or reject the teachings of their parents, and that -- a parent cannot control.

Every child in a family is different. As the parent of five children, I can certainly attest to that fact!

Ultimately, most children do become the kind of person they were raised to become -- and often time, this can be a lengthy process.

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