The Stepparents

Source

The Stepdad

Step parents. Should I really say more?! Sometimes they can be great, but in my case I have two..and am not a fan of either. My step-dad used to be my boss at work when I was younger when I lived with him and my mother. That I must say was an awkward situation for that 2 years I lived with him and my mother. Both in which have a serious lacking in knowing how to discipline even the simplest thing. Then when they begin charging you rent at the age of 16 to live there, that is another addition to the growing hatred you have for your step parent and mother that can't even stand up for herself. Is it right to charge rent to a 16 year old living at home? No..I definitely think not. Also to touch back on having a mother that can't stick up for herself let alone you, is it right to be kicked out just before your 18th birthday because your late on rent?..No its not right.

I remember that day, sitting in my room watching South Park, eating supper with my boyfriend at the time. As my step-dad knocks on the door and asks to come in, so of course I reluctantly let him in. He asks if he can talk to me, I say sure and ask my boyfriend to leave the room. Where my step-dad quickly stepped in and said no he can stay and listen. Then proceeded to tell me how its not working out here and he thinks it would be best if I move out over spring break (which at the time, started in less then a week). So after my shocked stare and then going on trying to convince him not to do that, he left my room. I was left there thinking why the hell my mother was just sitting in the next room watching tv and would let this happen.

To make a long story short I moved out and into my boyfriends dads place and didn't speak to my mother for a few months. Which the first conversation was extremely awkward and I kept asking her how she could let that happen..never getting a straight forward answer. The next time I had talked to her was in that same year in November. I went to see her at home to tell her I was moving out to Alberta. I stepped in the door and we did our whole "its been so long" speeches, then I told her I was moving and leaving on a plane the next day. She said "oh.." turned around, walked into the living room and I could hear her bong going. I turned around and walked right outside her house and left on my plane the next day.

OK now to make an even longer story, short. Now I talk to her when she phones me, which I'm lucky if its twice in a year.

Source

The Stepmothers

So that's my first experience with a step parent and also a terrible mother. I had a couple other stepmothers as well, one of which I will only go into light detail. Put my dad in jail and was a compulsively lied and mentally (not positive on physical) beat my sister. I dodn't live with her, I barely knew her. But do remember one instance where she shooed me out of her house like you would a dog, just for going there to see my dad whom I hadn't seen in a very long time.

Now brings us to the most recent. My step mother. At first was all good when I met her, very nice, very genuine. I was happy to see them get married and have her in my dads life. Then her and my sister had their falling out. Now its going on about 3 years since my sister, dad and sunny fell out. My sister talking about all her two faced lies. Even I didn't believe her at the time..until it began happening with me. I could see it starting, my step mothers and my on/off relationship began really deteriorating last year. When my husband and I had decided not to have anyone hold our son for the first 24 hours, which of course no one was happy to hear that. But because I had asked my step mother to be in the room, she blew up and got so offended that she couldn't hold him. Which I couldn't understand because I had asked her to be there for me for support. That situation was big..a very big deal. Regardless we never ended up doing our plan and everybody held him. My dad first :).

Over the past year I have been scared to get texts from her. Because 95% of the time it ends badly. She can be texting you and then all of a sudden is a.d.d. and she's bad mouthing my dad, myself or my sister. The way she talks to me now is how I remember her talking to me about my sister. The mere thought of a step parent talking to you horribly about your family disgusts me to no end. Its one thing to confide and tell someone your problems, which I told her too because she feels she has no one to talk to. Then its another thing to bad mouth your family to you then turn around and tell your husband (or wife) that you never said anything like that. Which you actually did and there's proof of it.

Being in the middle of such a fight is never any good, especially when your the child. Its unfair. Its a tough thing to live with a sister and dad that don't talk to each other because of the step mother, its also a tough thing to have a dad that you want to hang out with and talk with, but he gets in trouble every time he does because all he hears is "why doesn't she talk to me" or thinks that she has to get defensive because he confides in me.

BAH this story can go on for so long, but the moral of the story is that everybody has their issues. Everybody that has stepparents have their good ones and bad ones. The thing is can you handle it? I thought I could. But what I have told you is only the tip of the iceberg. My personal experience with stepparents has been such a dark story to me, it seriously makes me hope that my son will never have to go through it. At least I can say I am happily married.

Marriage is something you have to cherish and water everyday. Or else it will just die. If you don't love someone, why stay with them? Its only unfair to both parties and which ever kids are involved.

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Comments 2 comments

Eliminate Cancer profile image

Eliminate Cancer 4 years ago from Massachusetts

This is something I think about a lot. I'm divorced, I have 2 children. I can't date anyone without thinking what my influence will be on their child(ren). I homeschool my kids, I live an alternative lifestyle, so finding someone that aligns with that is already rare.

It's a hard balance. I can't give up the life we have to accommodate someone else, and I also can't expect someone else to completely change for me.

It's a strange position to be in. For the time being, I am choosing to just live our lives as is. If and when we decide to join families, I will tread very carefully. Yes, there are things you have to accept when you bring other people into your life, but nobody should be thrust into a situation that sucks the life out of them. Relationships and families should provide love and support, and function as a team... otherwise, it's not family.


tgopfrich profile image

tgopfrich 4 years ago from Stettler, AB Author

I agree that no one should be thrust into a situation that sucks the life out of them. Also I think there should be a high amount of understanding for the step parents and the children towards each other. Also I don't agree when step parents bad mouth your parent to their kids and their spouses kids. Talking is one thing, bad mouthing is another. How can the child respect the new parent in their life when all they do is bad mouth their new family name.

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