Truly awful baby names. When Choosing a name for your baby steer clear of these stinkers

This is an opinion hub. It wasn't researched or written to be factual. If you don't have a sense of humor STOP READING NOW!

Bad Baby Names

If ever a hub needed to be written it is this one. An unspeakable crime is being committed against innocent children all over the nation each and every day and it's time someone expose this shameful parental practice. I'm talking about a crime so heinous it has long lasting, negative effects on the children who are forced to participate in this miscarriage of justice.

The crime is: BAD BABY NAMES

After surveying hundreds of individuals on Hubpages, Facebook, Twitter and through my personal blog (how's that for shameful promotion?) I have compiled a list of the worst children's names of all time.

Worst Girls Names

  1. Electra: There is a preschool student at my elementary school who's parents actually named her Electra. Yes, that's right, I said ELECTRA. Unfortunately for her with a name like Electra she will only have two career choices when she grows up: stripper or superhero and quite honestly she can't fly and I don't think that she's able to shoot laser beams from her fingers or stop a speeding bullet.
  2. Germajesty: Once again a little girl in one of the schools I worked at was gifted with this name. I think that its' meaning is "Queen of Bacteria".
  3. Tergent: Tergent was born unexpectedly 2 weeks ahead of schedule. I believe that after her daughter was born this mother was already thinking about the laundry that needed to be done and the fact that she needed to pick up laundry products on her way home from the hospital.
  4. Chlamydia-Now I really want to believe that no parent would ever give their child this name but I had two people swear they knew someone who did.
  5. Farten-Jeannieinabottle supplied this name and emphasised that it is pronounced phonetically. She feels that while it may be a beautiful name in another language it definitely isn't in English. I have to agree.
  6. Lady MJ was kind enough to supply a long list of names including: Moxie Crimefighter, Facebook, Ever Gabo, To Morrow, Poppy Honey, Audio Science, Diva Muffin and my favorite Sylvester Stallone's offspring Sage Moonblood.

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Worst Boy Names

  • Dick Trickle: Sorry-I think that this former NASCAR driver's name is one of the worst names that I have ever heard. Why in the world didn't he call himself Richard, Rich, or Rick-anything but Dick.
  • Young Boozer: Mr. Boozer is a native of the great state of Alabama. He grew up in Tuscaloosa and is currently running for State Treasurer. Young named his son Young Boozer too (get it Young Boozer 2?).
  • Damien: This is such an obviously bad choice I can't believe that parents still even consider this name for their child. Remember the movie the Omen and the dastardly little devil named Damien who was THE SON OF SATAN? As a teacher I have seen several children who have been cursed with this name and ALL of them have had behavior issues, it's a self fulfilling prophecy.
  • Blanket: Thank you Daffy Duck for reminding me of the absolutely stupid name Michael Jackson gave his youngest son. I can just imagine what other creative names he may have gifted future children with if he had lived: Pillow, Sheets, Throw Rug, Dust Ruffle, Curtain, Vacuum Cleaner, Socks, Soap, Shoe Box, Sofa, Bucket-the list is endless.
  • Simon- I am really, really sorry for saying this but I am not very fond of a relative's choice when naming his new son. The name Simon conjers up visions of a squeaky, singing, mouse in my head. I hope little Simon doesn't have any siblings with the names Theodore or Alvin in the future. My husband is betting he will have a little brother named Garfunkel-we'll just have to wait and see.


Short List

Well that's my short list of truly awful baby names. I am sure that you have a list of your own stinker names so please feel free to share, I'd love to hear them.

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Comments 46 comments

breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Let common sense rule the day.

Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago

It's funny how you put it !

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

LOL big time, especially on the 'Dick Trickle' name. Such a funny hub and so many great examples of awful baby names. Brilliant :D

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

How very odd, my comment made last night was unapproved by you, (was it an accident?). It is just I said what a good hub this was and said I found the name you listed as the first one on the boys names, (the NASCAR Racing Driver one) the funniest, (only I quoted the name in my post). Did I do something wrong? :(

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Hi Misty, I don't have any idea why you comment showed up unapproved-When I looked at this hub this morning I hadn't approved or not approved it, so I just did!!

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

How strange, perhaps it is the Hubpage goblin up to his evil tricks again LOL. Anyway, thanks for approving both of my comments now :) I thought I had upset you in some way before as it showed up in my Hubtivity as an 'unapproved comment'.

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco

Hahaa, some of these are priceless!!! I suppose I'm forewarned... though I rather like the idea of naming a kid Damien. But I've already settled on Atticus. Have been for nearly ten years now! Not that I shall be producing spawn...

SimeyC profile image

SimeyC 5 years ago from NJ, USA

Sorry - that's it - voted down, unuseful, unfunny, unawesome, unbeautiful and un-shared on facebook....*grin* - what's wrong with Simon - I think it's a realllllly cool name! LOL As for names - I know a one year old called 'Grave Bladeus' - makes Simon look pretty normal!

SimeyC profile image

SimeyC 5 years ago from NJ, USA

*grin* to be honest - it doesn't bother me - your quote about 'butts' is the perfect one! It was just 'sticker' shock for me to see my own little name at the bottom!!!!

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

SimeyC my comment disappeared!! Where did it go? I wish I could make my butt (I mean opinion) disappear that quickly!! ;)

SimeyC profile image

SimeyC 5 years ago from NJ, USA

LOL I noticed that - I replied to it and voila it had disappeared - check to see if you accidently moderated it!

BentleyMom 5 years ago

I am from Alabama and just seeing Young Boozer on a ballot made me laugh!

I have one, it is pronounced She-thead however it when spelled out you put it together replace the "e" with an "i". Now that is an awful name!

randomcreative profile image

randomcreative 5 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

How awful. I wish that people would spend more time thinking about how they would feel if they had any of these names before they inflicted their children with the burden.

Greensleeves Hubs profile image

Greensleeves Hubs 5 years ago from Essex, UK

Very good. Especially the girls' names (but don't be too critical of Electra until you find out for sure her career destiny - she might bear a grudge and deposit you on the moon). In Thailand I know of someone called Pong, and Porn is quite common I believe - quite reasonable names in that part of the world.

Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer 5 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

Great stuff...and I thought Apple was bad...

tgopfrich profile image

tgopfrich 5 years ago from Stettler, AB

I am not very fond of any TWO PART names. Like Mary Jay also pretty much any name beginning with Bri or Bre hahaha.

Great Hub!

rachelsholiday profile image

rachelsholiday 5 years ago

I would venture to say that Princewill is one of the worst names I've ever seen for a person.

lsoutullo profile image

lsoutullo 5 years ago from Tampa, Florida

There were all bad names but really "Damien" as a bad name. Apparently there is something wrong with you and no I don't have a boy named Damien but it is a beautiful name and a movie should never define a name. Look up Damien Rice, wonderful musician!

Damian \d(a)-mian\ as a boy's name (also used as girl's name Damian), is pronounced DAY-mee-en. It is of Greek origin. Possibly means "to tame, subdue", though the Greek root is also close to the word for "spirit". The Belgian priest Father Damien is honored as the man who gave his life helping the lepers of Molokai in Hawaii. Saint Damien (third century) is known as the patron saint of physicians. Demyan is the Russian form. Author Damon Runyon; ballet dancer Damien Woetzel.

get your facts straight

kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Everything is arbitrary. I like Electra and I see nothing wrong with Simon or Damien.

Associations are very personal. But if you will let other people push you in the direction THEY want, you will never be able to make your own choices. There will always be someone disliking and disapproving your choices.

When I was a child, I HATED name YULIA (Julia). Why? Because the only Yulia in our class was fat and not only fat, jelly-like-fat and she loved to run - I could not see that jellio-moving scene, I felt so nauseous. But the name? What it had to do with the girl? Nothing, it was my personal association, I know other Yulias now.

The second Yulia to come to our class became a ballerina in New York. But I will never call my child Yulia.

However, to say that it is an awful name only because of MY Associations? It is going too far....

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

BentleyMom-I had to look the name up before I actually believed Young Boozer was a real name! RandomCreative, GreenSleeves, and Uninvited Writer, Tgopfrich, and Rachelsholiday thanks for your feedback :).

Isoutullo-the name Damien, ummmm Super Stinker-bad name thanks to the Omen.

Kallilni2010-Electra and Damien-PU both names stink for children

CamberleyLane'e profile image

CamberleyLane'e 5 years ago

So because you dislike Simon and Damien they are automatically horrible names?

A. Damien means "sweet and harmless."

B. Simon means "it is heard."

Yeah, those are terrible...If you're going to come up with an awful names list, at least have the sense to leave out traditional names that have been around for years. This is why bad name lists are so ridiculous. Everyone has their own opinion, and these posts can be incredibly offensive when you post the name of someone's son or daughter.

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

CamberleyLane'e- I absolutely believe that in my own opinion the names Simon and Damien are terrible. If you are of the opinion that bad name lists are so ridiculous-why did you read this hub? Why would you waste your time?

ryokowaren profile image

ryokowaren 5 years ago from USA

Great hub!

Dave Sibole profile image

Dave Sibole 5 years ago from Leesburg, Oh

How about some of the creative screen names people pick for themselves. Unbelievable. Great Hub.

kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Nothing stinks for children. It is the adults who teach children what stinks and what does not.

More often than not a "stupid" name is rare name, it takes time to get used to. Some are questionable, but maybe we should be more tolerant.

Besides what children?

All generalizations are wrong. Including this one.

I love this anecdote:

" -- Everybody hates me.

-- Everybody has not met you yet."

Do you like name Daniel, by the way? Or Katherine?

ReuVera profile image

ReuVera 5 years ago from USA

Curiously, I also wrote a hub about names, but not specifically bad names, but only about those that sound bad or funny in other languages. A person might have an ordinary name in his language, but when he visits another country he'll get teasing about his name.

I can agree with you, that some names are really awful (like, Chlamydia). Others are just openly stupid (Young Boozer, Blanket). However, some names just seem bad by, as Kallini mentioned, by your association with an image. I personally consider Simon as a very beautiful name, it derives from ancient name Shimon (one of Israeli tribes). At the same time, a person born in Russia, who was named by the Russian version of this name (Semen) should better change its form to Simon or Shimon, because of weird association.....

ajcor profile image

ajcor 5 years ago from NSW. Australia

In Australia I heard about a made-up type name and that is Strachel which called over a back fence at dusk in an aussi accent is just not very attractive.....I think Strachel's mother just couldn't make up her mind between Rachel and Stacey so the poor little girl got a mixture!!!

kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Names can be changed. Did it ever occur to you? Maybe the one who got the name should be the one making the final decision? And then be prepared to fight for his name. I know I can do both. Change my name or stand up for my name. Stupidity is hard to define, how stupid a stupid name can be? How awful?

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Kallini2010-really? Names can be changed? It never occurred to me. Thanks for helping to drive traffic to my awesome hub.

kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Oh, you are welcome, it is my pleasure. I am writing my own article and with your permission I will include the link to your article so the traffic will increase even more.

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

You can absolutely link to my hub-I just hope you will be kind.

lsoutullo profile image

lsoutullo 5 years ago from Tampa, Florida

We looked at your hub because we thought it would have some common sense but it seems not. Just the thoughts of someone that watches too much tv and associates names by fictional characters. I thought there would be names like colgate (i've seen that name). You know, names people make up not names that are of beauty and love. I guess you are right we should look better on who's hubs we read. After reading your mean comebacks I will reconsider future reading.

applejack2 5 years ago

i knew a man once whose name was ICCABOD CRUDUP. i thouhgt that was bad ,so the called him I.C.

Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

I have just read your poorly researched and rather spiteful hub; not because it was recommended for its quality, but because I was advised that it would be so vitriolic.

I agree with so many people and their comments, but first of all, what is the matter with you. A poor classical education, perhaps? Or a rather narrow: "Only Anglo Saxon names will do? How dare these foreigners have names that don't conform to Janet and John types?"

Electra – look her up. You may be surprised.

Damien - a lovely name, with only the connotations you have seen because you seem to associate names with movies. That’s a bit pathetic, isn’t it?

Simon – one of the twelve Disciples of Jesus Christ. Look him up in the Bible. Oh Yes! Simon called Peter… Peter wasn’t a name, it was a nickname. Simon the Rock.

I completely agree with lsoutullo, and wonder why you were so rude to her.

CamberleyLane'e was well within her rights to have an opinion, but your “I absolutely believe that in my own opinion the names Simon and Damien are terrible. If you are of the opinion that bad name lists are so ridiculous-why did you read this hub? Why would you waste your time?” was unnecessarily harsh, but I feel you don’t like anybody having opinions other than your own.

kallini2010 ‘s response of: “Everything is arbitrary. I like Electra and I see nothing wrong with Simon or Damien.” Fits in exactly with my opinions, but I feel that you would have some objection to that.

I am not in the habit of making negative comments on hubs, but I feel that your rudeness deserves all you are getting.

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Twilight Lawns-First of all I did not research this hub-it is an OPINION. Secondly-it wasn't written to be spiteful. Thirdly I think that God must have forgotten to give you a sense of humor. You can put whatever spin you want to on this hub and if you see it as being offensive that is your opinion-wrong-but your opinion

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Isoutullo-Firstly if you look at your first comment you tell me that apparently there is something wrong with me-then you tell me to get my facts straight and that isn't mean spirited or rude? Yet you consider simply putting a humorous reply to your comment rude? Perhaps you should look up rude in the dictionary. You need to get a sense of humor and stop looking for negativity where there is none.

kirsteno profile image

kirsteno 5 years ago

I once knew a girl named Sommer Thyme. That should be added to your fabulous list.

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Sommer Thyme-that's actually kinda funny and fabulous at the same time!

Mrs. Menagerie profile image

Mrs. Menagerie 5 years ago from The Zoo

You now have 3 people who can swear to knowing someone who named their kid "Chlamydia." Unbelievable but true. Also, I had a friend in college named Polly Ester and I know a pilot for American Eagle Airlines named Captain Dick Mann...hilarious guy, BTW.

Oh, and my father knew a Colon and Rectal surgeon named Dr. Butts...this is true...look him up. He is in Houston, TX.

MagicStarER profile image

MagicStarER 5 years ago from Western Kentucky

We had an assistant principal when I was in junior high whose name was Leonard Krapp. Guess what his wife's name was? Lotta Krapp! (Absolutely true!)

Onusonus profile image

Onusonus 5 years ago from washington

I met a poor young kid named Xero. Now that's setting him up for success in life.......

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Dr. Butts-too funny. Remember the proctologist on Seinfield who had the license plates "AssMan"? Leonard and Lotta Krapp-OMG I would have to change my name. Now naming a kid Xero is just sad.....

RentedMule profile image

RentedMule 5 years ago from Lexington Kentucky

Does it get any worse than Luna Malice?..Unfortunately that is the name given to my precious grand daughter by her "less than caring what impact it would have on the child " mother. And she is the most gorgeous child too. Luna I can deal with,when forced to, but her mom prefers to call her Malice. ( Look up Malice - it means the intent to harm)!

When asked her name I avoid the stares and comments and call her Luna Malease. I know that is wrong, but she does not deserve such a tasteless name. I can only imagine the ridicule she will face in school, job applications etc. She is 2 years old now, and very shy. Her name won't help that either! My name is Freda- I got more than my share of comments when I was in school, So I feel her pain!

mikicagle profile image

mikicagle 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

RentedMule it's a good thing that your granddaughter has such a caring grandmother looking out for her. While I understand Luna I don't get why she would name a baby Malice-unless it is a passive aggressive thing. Perhaps for her 18th birthday you can pay to have her name changed! I know what you mean about comments-my name is Michelle but my mother insisted everyone call me Mickey. Being called Mickey Mouse was bad enough but when I was in high school Toni Basil came out with the song Oh Mickey. I will never forget the torment I received at the hands of Rusty Pruitt who sang this line of the song everytime he saw me, "Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my ******* hey Mickey!"

stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia

I don't like it when parents give their children an animal or food name. Like Gwenyth Paltrow's daughter Apple and Nicole Richie's son Sparrow. How embarrasing for the children! I think it's giving the child a bad start in life when you call them something which you know is going to make them seem unusual before they even develop. Maybe they think they're making their child seem special by having an odd name, but they're just making their children seem odd to the rest of society. Why would you do that to your own child? Attention seeking maybe?

I loved reading the comments on your Hub as much as reading it too! Hahaha!

Virginia 17 months ago

I find your reason for Damian to be highly insulting. Basing it solely on the premise of a Hollywood movie is redoculous and that you as a teacher basing it on the few children whose names were a certsin name is absorb. The name Damian means to tame. And there are two Saints named Damian/Damien. The first being the Saint of surgeons and doctors for his acts as a physician who never took money from his patients. It is a highly reputable name that you have degrated all because of a movie. What is next Carry or Jason are going to be on the list because they're depicted as psycho killers.

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