They say "I Hate Being a Mother"
I recently read an article online called 'The Misery of Motherhood' and I totally identified with it. Before you shoot me down and say I am out of my mind, please read on. I am a single mother of one child, I never planned this life it happened when I was in a long term somewhat blissful relationship. I got pregnant whilst on the pill and the rest is history. Nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of utter despair that I would feel some days when I woke up. I few said it was post natal depression which in fact it was for the first two months. Then I seemed to get over that hurdle and I thought everything was going fine. However, this changed and I started to feel trapped, tired, fed up and almost like I was in prison.
Many other Women Feel the Same Way
After reading this article I decided to Google the phrase “ I hate being a mother.” There were over 50 million results, an array of blog posts and forum threads of women saying they found motherhood so stressful and so disheartening that they wanted to run away. I understood how some of these women felt. I am not saying I do not love my child because I totally do however, some women are just not cut out for motherhood. I try my best and work hard every day to try and make my son's life the best it can be. However, every day is a struggle, turning on my laptop at night to do my work is like an escape, a peaceful haven I can just sink into when I have had a bad day. Some days are good days, because I am someone who believes in the power of positive thinking. I meditate and try and eat healthy and exercise to get away from this niggling feeling. It does work, it makes me feel a lot better at times. However, sometimes I feel like I was not designed for this job.
Is Every Woman Designed to do the Same Job?
I compared this feeling to starting a new job and being so excited about the job, and then after a few months you realised you should have applied for another job. I feel that I was designed to be carefree and free spirited. Travel the world on a whim without thinking about nothing else but how many pairs of underwear I should pack. I spoke to 40 women who basically told me exactly the same thing, they felt that they were not cut out for motherhood. They loved their children dearly but they felt like their life could have been better if they just did not have any kids at all.
I also spoke to mothers who said they felt happy and fulfilled and felt like they enjoyed being a mother. Most of these women had something in common, and that was plenty of love and support from a husband or family members. When you do not have a strong support network it can be very hard and you can sometimes feel like you are in some kind of locked cage. You try your best, you take them to playgroup and to the park and the theme parks, and teach them and love them and nurture them. However, you do not enjoy it as much as you thought you would, why? You feel like you are a shadow of your former self. Some days, I am so tired that I forget to eat, forget to smile and forget to sleep until 4 am because I need to get some work done. Some people might read this and say stop complaining, you should never had kids in the first place then. Well, at the end of the day, everyone is different, some take to it like a duck to water. Some people just never take to it, I am trying my best every day. However, I still haven't taken to it, I hope that changes though.
I think that women who work feel more fulfilled than those that do not work. You get an opportunity to do something for yourself and be amongst like minded adults. I work from home, and when I get the chance I go to events or work assignments however, I am majority of the time with my son and sometimes other parents when we go to playgroup. He will be going to nursery in full time in October so I will be able to write full time and run my business full time instead of part time. This means that my son will be able to feel more fulfilled and so will I. I do believe that when he goes to pre-school full time things will shift, and I will get the opportunity to enjoy motherhood and enjoy being me again too.
I remain positive every day, and try to be happy even when I do not always feel like being happy. This goes out to every mother out there who is working hard to give their children a better life. Keep the faith and try to remain positive. It is hard but I guess we have to keep fighting every day of the week.
Never give up xxxx
Motherhood is so hard at times but all we can do is love our children xxx
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