Training Bra Cronicles: Lady Gaga You Got Some 'Splaining to Do

Rock Star Mama

I’m hip, I’m cool, I’m down with what the young people are listening to…okay I’m not at all, but I try. The truth is that I’d like to think I’m the rock star mom who is in the know about teen pop culture, but frankly some of it is so mind numbingly awful I just tune out. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that it’s super important to get a handle on what your kids are watching and reading and listening to, and I force myself to pay attention a lot of the time. We did the Raffi thing when they were preschoolers and when they got a little older we all listened to the Hannah Montana CD so often I am pretty sure I saw blood dripping from my husband’s ears. We’ve even survived a more recent bout of Bieber Fever. And now it's Lady Gaga.

It’s his Fault

I blame my husband for introducing this controversial artiste into our young daughters’ lives. He is also responsible for sharing the prolific song stylings of Ke$ha, Jessie J and any number of other awesome, but not necessarily pre-teen appropriate singers to our girls. I do have to cut him some slack though, he was trying to be a good dad. In an effort to connect with our increasingly moody, pre-pubescent gaggle of ladies he loaded up his iPod with Top 40 songs. He is not a Top 40 guy so this was kind of a big deal, which is also why he had no idea what he was getting into.

Bluffin’ with your Muffin

You can imagine his surprise as he started to listen to some of these songs with our girls. After a trip to the grocery store with one of our ten year old twins he came in the house and seemed visibly shaken. When I asked him what was up he said that he had been listening to “Tik Tok,” by Ke$ha in the car and found it really disturbing to hear his kid singing about “brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack.” And did I know why she had a dollar sign in her name?

And then there’s Lady Gaga, a favourite with my little ladies. And yes, I’ll admit it, I like her too. She has some catchy songs and wears a meat dress and prosthetic horn implants like no one else. However, asking a dad to explain some of her lyrics to his pre-teen girls is insane. Apparently, after listening to the song “Poker Face,” one of them asked him what “bluffin’ with my muffin,” means. I suspect he made a reference to baked goods and switched to the Beatles. But not “Lucy in the sky with Diamonds,” because he’s already had to explain to them that was a song about drugs. Maybe he should consider silence as an option when he is in the car with them.

What are "Hip" Parents to do?

We could try and ban all pop music from our house and replace it with a mix of Raffi and Opera instead. (Oh wait I think that’s what they use to torture prisoners of war is Uzbekistan.) Or instead we could just accept that our girls are developing a taste for their generations version of pop music and it may lead us to some uncomfortable conversations and/or running away with our hands covering our ears.

But seriously, does “bluffin’ with my muffin,” mean what I think it means?