Two Faces of Mother's Love - About An OFW Family's Story

I could still remember how I cried when my mother was leaving to go to Saudi Arabia. I was just 11 years old then and was only in Grade 5. I did not completely understand why she had to go. What I only knew was we needed the money for our family expenses.

I tried really hard to study well because I wanted to help our family. In fact, almost every year I was top 1 in our class so my tuition in the Chinese school I went to was free. Even though my mother was far away, I wanted her to be really happy. But deep inside, what I wanted the most then was that she would just come home to us.

Maternal Bond. Image by Koivth
Maternal Bond. Image by Koivth | Source

For five years, mother bore the pain of spending life away from us. (Is there a mother who would like to be separated from her dear children?) Communication then was very expensive and difficult unlike today that there is the internet and VOIP. That's why receiving a phone call or a letter from mommy is like rainfall in the mid of summer. Because of this unfavorable circumstances, little by little, my heart felt distant from my mother. It must have also been because I was already growing up as a young teen.

When mother decided to come back to the Philippines and never to return to Saudi, I really can't describe how I truly felt. I was happy that she's finally coming home. But, sad to say, much time had passed and spent being far away from each other which put an empty space between our relationship. It seemed that I was used to just having my father around. My mother felt how I felt and I knew that it hurt her feelings. What a painful cost in exchange for her sacrifice and being far away from family just to fulfill our physical necessities!

Nevertheless, I am still thankful to God because He did not allow our family to become like many broken families we know. When the father becomes an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker), he fills his loneliness abroad by having relations with another woman even if he already has a wife and children. I am also thankful because it was during this time when my mother was in the desert land that she had a closer relationship with God. My father, my siblings and I who were in the Philippines did too. And it was this faith in God that filled the gap in our relationship.

"A strong faith in God is necessary to have a strong family."

Now, I'm also living in another country other than the Philippines, I am not an OFW but a wife to one. Even if it is hard and expensive for my family to live in a nation not our own, we still chose to live together and not be separated from each other.

My husband and I agreed that I and our children would just spend about 2 years here and would then return to the Philippines. But, though I like much better to stay in the Philippines and continue my career, I rather chose to be a stay at home mom. It's all right that I don't have a career, as long as my children and I would not be separated from our beloved father and husband. I did not want my children to experience being separated from a parent just like what I did when I was still young. I am greatly thankful to God because His grace is sufficient enough to meet our every need.

Two faces of mother's love. One endured the pain of being far away from the family so she can give a better life to her family. The other chose not to be separated from the family even if it means sacrificing her good career. Which of the two mirrors your love as a mother?

"In every choice, there is an exchange

Weigh the heart and mind, endure the pain.

And don't forget to trust the Lord ever

Whatever happens He will be always there. "

How beautiful it must be, if no family would ever need to be separated from each other. I pray that the Philippines would arise from poverty and have a better economy. So that fathers and mothers would not need to go abroad and leave their children. I wonder when will that be?

I salute all the fathers and mothers who have the heart and mind that truly cares first for his or her family.

This article is actually an English translation of my winning entry (9th place) written in Tagalog for the OFW Blog Awards 2010 with the theme "Strengthening OFW Families: 'Stronger Homes for a Stronger Nation.' The original article in Filipino can be found at my blog Stay at Home Blessings - Dalawang Mukha ng Pag-ibig ng Ina.

Comments 24 comments

Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 4 years ago from Philippines Author

yazmine, you did not finish what you were saying. But I agree with you that a mom leaving the children to work abroad can be a mistake. But for many, they feel they have no other choice to help their family earn. So, children are left and hopefully would learn to understand why their mom did so.


yazmine 4 years ago

leaving your children behind to work abro

ad was the biggest mistake a mother had done bcoz in the end they not are


htodd profile image

htodd 4 years ago from United States

Thanks a lot for this nice hub ..Great


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 5 years ago from Philippines Author

@Lita, you and your husband knew what you really wanted for your family and you kept focused on your goal (of building a house) and I think that is important for many OFWs to consider especially if they want to keep the family together.

We just had our vacation in the Philippines, and am glad that the gap with Mom seem to be a thing in the past. Thank God.

God bless you for reading this hub and leaving your thoughts.


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 5 years ago from Philippines Author

@Thelma, you are right that many OFWs experience what you have described. I wish that issues like these are not happening but they do. I'm really thankful that God has kept our family together.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines

Terrific hub, Chin Chin! My late husband was also an OFW. I allowed him because we wanted to build our own house. My 2 daughters were only aged 2 and 5 years then. I was a working Mom. Among the first few things Dad sent us were a tape recorder and a camera (with film those days) and every night at bedtime, I recorded our conversation, took pictures and sent them on regular intervals to Dad. There was an exchange of tapes and pictures that connected us together. We had paid phone conversations and spent a lot but it was rewarding. We didn't miss each other so much. Once the house was built, of course he left his job abroad and chose to become a government employee. He was a mechanical engineer.

Reading your outpouring, I would have been guilty had I not done what I did. Now that you are a mother yourself, I encourage you to bridge the gap with your Mom, there's so much time to do just that. Love and bless!


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 5 years ago from Germany

Hello, Chin chin. I have met a lot of Filipinas who are working abroad. They worked hard and suffered a lot only to give their family a better future.Some of them are exploited by their husbands who are left in the Philippines to take care of their children. Some of the husbands are having a happy life in the Phils. and spending the money their wives send every month by having another women.

You are lucky, your family survived. God bless you and your family. Great Hub.


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Thank you torconstantino.


torconstantino profile image

torconstantino 5 years ago from Maryland

wonderful post - voted up and awesome! Thanks for sharing!


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Hi JaimeDawn76. I pray that you will have a close relationship with your daughter. There may be times that your relationship with her will be challenged but I pray that God will see it through.


JaimeDawn76 profile image

JaimeDawn76 5 years ago from Oregon

I have a daughter whom I strive to continue to have a close relationship with. How heart breaking it would be to have to move away and continue a long distance relationship with her for any length of time. Mothers are truly a gift from God as are daughters. What an inspiring, eye opening piece of work.


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Thanks Lorlie6 and crystolite for your kind remarks.


crystolite profile image

crystolite 5 years ago from Houston TX

GOOD WORK BY CHIN CHIN.i enjoyed it a lot.thanks for sharing.


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 5 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Beautiful work, Chin chin. Family is so incredibly important!

Thanks so much for writing this.


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 5 years ago from Philippines Author

It was difficult as a growing up girl to be away from my mom. Though I am my Daddy's girl, there are just some stuff that are "girl" things that I cannot talk about with my father.

Heart4theword, I am glad that our family also had the a happy ending though it had its ups and downs by God's grace. Blessings to you, too.


heart4theword profile image

heart4theword 5 years ago from hub

My heart felt your need, as a child to be with your Mother and your Father. I am so glad too, that in your case she was able to be home again. Your family together, not torn apart in divorce or affairs. Always nice to have a happy ending:) Blessings to you and your family!


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Thanks Monisajda for the compliments and vote up.

My mother did make a difficult decision; I can't make the same decision as she did. Thank God, we are now in a different circumstance.


Monisajda profile image

Monisajda 5 years ago from my heart

What a beautiful piece of writing. And what a difficult choice your mother had to make. Voted up and beautiful!


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Tamarajo, it is indeed a blessing that God saw us through the difficulties.

I think that moms or dads have their own unique way of showing how they love their families. Most would do anything for the sake of family.

Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts.


Tamarajo profile image

Tamarajo 5 years ago from Southern Minnesota

What a difficult situation for your family when you were young. How blessed the family survived.

You are right ideally it would be better for a better economy where such a thing would never be necessary.

I liked the contrast and comparison of how you and your mother chose to love and sacrifice for your families.

A beautiful reflection


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 5 years ago from Philippines Author

It's a sad truth about the Philippines, Ddraigcoch. Poverty is the major reason why there are many Filipinos working all over the world in search of greener pasture. However, it is also one of the things that contributes to the great strength and endurance and the many other good attributes of the Filipino people. I just wish we could have the good without having much of the bad.


Ddraigcoch profile image

Ddraigcoch 5 years ago from UK

I have seen how poor the Philippines are, there was a documentary on television in the UK last week. It made my heart break. I wish any one who has to struggle that way all the best luck in the world xx


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Ddraigcock, sometimes, it really is out of necessity. Many families have to choose between staying together but living a very poor life or living apart but having a more comfortable life. I guess it also depends on what the family would prioritize.

Thanks for reading.


Ddraigcoch profile image

Ddraigcoch 5 years ago from UK

It is a shame that some families can no just live as a family unit. Or that some take it for granted.x

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