Valentines Jokes For Kids, Including Valentine Knock Knock Jokes

Photo:  RookieShooter, Flickr
Photo: RookieShooter, Flickr

Every season needs a good joke. Here are Valentine's jokes for kids collected from around the web, all G-Rated. Jokes are more than just fun for kids. They help to develop language in a fun way. They say the pun is the highest form of language development. Experts agree that telling jokes develops language skills. Embrace your inner goofball and help your children learn at the same time with these cute Valentine's jokes for kids.


Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it's all heart.

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts.

What did the letter say to the stamp? You send me.

What did the stamp say to the envelope? I'm stuck on you.

What is a vampire's sweetheart called? His ghoul-friend.

Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date.

What is a ram's favorite song? I only have eyes for ewe, Dear

What happens when you fall in love with a french chef? You get buttered up.

What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean? One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.

If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her? Antelope.

What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on.

Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, but they had an apple.

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

What did the valentine card say to the stamp? Stick with me and we'll go places!

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day? Ughs and kisses!

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day? I Love Ewe!

What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day? Owl be yours!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day? Cauliflowers!

What do you call a very small Valentine? A Valentiny!

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day? I'm nuts about you!

What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day? You're nuts so bad yourself!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.

What did the bat say to his girlfriend? You're fun to hang around with.

What did one light bulb say to the other? I love you a whole watt!

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? I love you a ton!

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? I'm sweet on you!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Hog and kisses!

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!

What did the pencil say to the paper? I dot my i's on you!

What did one pickle say to the other? You mean a great dill to me.

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Knock, Knock

Who's there?


Olive who?

Olive you!

Knock knock

Who'e there?


Frank who?

Frank you for being my friend!

Knock knock

Who's there?


Howard who?

Howard you like a big kiss?

Knock knock

Who's there?


Sherwood who?

Sherwood like to be your valentine!

Knock, knock

Who's there?


Pooch who?

Pooch your arms around me, baby!

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Comments 46 comments

Celebrates profile image

Celebrates 23 months ago

These are all so cute. They would make good Valentine's Day cards for kids. The joke could be on the outside of like a heart shaped card and the punchline could be on the inside. I like clean jokes and you are right about these puns are good for kids in developing language skills.

taylor shumski 4 years ago

what did the envolope say when you lick it.........

answer/nothing???? it shuts up

ha ha ha lol get it :)

Anjo Bacarisas II profile image

Anjo Bacarisas II 4 years ago from Cagayan de Oro, Philippines

like the jokes so much, you're an expert! ths made my day very wonderful, keep hubbing! your great :)

sk178 5 years ago

Hey you forgot this cute one:

What did one piece of bread say to the other? I loaf you dough much!

Citlalli 5 years ago

why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?

Because it might crack up.

by th e way i'm only nine

pielover 5 years ago

these r awesome!

thanx lela

selly432 5 years ago

this rocks! my kids really love these!

jollipeach 5 years ago

thank you for the jokes it makes my grandchildren's day when i put jokes on their lunchbags

jmxhcfx 5 years ago

this is supposed to be for kids

computer freak 5 years ago


ukantseemecuzirock 5 years ago

amazingly awesome i laughed my heart out lissning

NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 years ago


awesomerthanu 5 years ago


rockinggrandma 5 years ago


Cierra 6 years ago

hi i am Cierra and i love more Jokes i have many Jokes Books all about Jokes Knock Knock Jokes

Cierra 6 years ago

hi my name is cierra brown i love joke

BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

Thanks so much - these bring back so many fun memories - and of course we must share them with each generation!

Children love this stuff! Thanks so much!

M&M 6 years ago

These are soo Funny!! :D

faiza 6 years ago

nic joke

lovelife999 profile image

lovelife999 6 years ago

nice jokes, i enjoyed.

lovelife999 profile image

lovelife999 6 years ago

nice jokes, i enjoyed.

casy 7 years ago

love the jokes cant wait to see more me and my sisters are laughing so hard my sister peed in her pants

casy 7 years ago

awesome jokes i loved them

397268 profile image

397268 7 years ago

Great one liners

jgu 7 years ago

Nice Nice I love them

Hazok profile image

Hazok 8 years ago from Malaysia

great. thanks. I surely be using them.

creatingwealth profile image

creatingwealth 8 years ago

Thanks for jokes. Happy Valentine's Day!

John Austwick profile image

John Austwick 8 years ago from Bolton

Laughing with my grandchildren really made my day. Thank You.

wiser now 8 years ago from Vista CA

I started reading these with my granddaughter and even my husband joined in the laughter. Thank you!

Lela Davidson profile image

Lela Davidson 8 years ago from Bentonville, Arkansas Author

Thanks for all the compliments, but I feel compelled to reiterate that I didn't make these up! Just collected the best I found. I'm glad we're all enjoying the jokes!

sim71 profile image

sim71 8 years ago from Norwich, Norfolk, UK

These jokes are great Lela,

Keep up the good work.

AnnaEstelle profile image

AnnaEstelle 8 years ago from Boston

It's refreshing to hear Valentine's Day jokes-or any jokes for that matter-that don't have a raunchy undertone. Kudos for the creativity!

compu-smart profile image

compu-smart 8 years ago from London UK

I used to love jokes and i only know one now which i like...

Here goes....How do you keep an idiot in suspence?........... i will tell you next week! hehe..

If this joke is not suitable for kids you can delete this comment:)

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik 8 years ago from Seattle

Lela, these are so cute! As a child, I loved reading and telling jokes like these.

Garden Furniture 8 years ago from Harrogate

Great hub, very interesting and very funny hubpage.

Lela Davidson profile image

Lela Davidson 8 years ago from Bentonville, Arkansas Author

Thanks everyone! I'm glad the jokes are a hit. Jokes make kids smart so keep sharing!

Vinnie V profile image

Vinnie V 8 years ago

Great list Lela. I especially love the knock knock jokes. I'm definitely going to tell these to my 4 yr. old to try to get his favorite knock knock out of his head. It goes like this:

Knock Knock...

Who's there...

I gotta goap...

I gotta goap who?

Then he just starts cracking up! :-)

exinco profile image

exinco 8 years ago from Malaysia

nice, love it

BarbaraMay profile image

BarbaraMay 8 years ago from Canada

Chuckles. I'm bookmarking this page for my four boys to read in the morning. Thanks very much.

MrMarmalade profile image

MrMarmalade 8 years ago from Sydney

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on

Valentine's Day? I'm nuts about you!


Thank you

Blogger Mom profile image

Blogger Mom 8 years ago from Northeast, US

Hehe...My four year old is just getting into knock-knock jokes and these are perfect! Thanks!

dooda 9 years ago

Very Cute. Will tells these to my kid.


james 9 years ago

dese jokes iz cool yo

MoralsEthics1960 profile image

MoralsEthics1960 9 years ago from Florida

You are a blessing after a hard day i used these on my granddaughter"knock knock jokes" and made her happy and laughing.Thank you for the post

Harmony 9 years ago

Thanks Lela! I've already read them to my oldest twice. I'm always running out of "clean" jokes ;)


amy jane profile image

amy jane 9 years ago from Connecticut

These are so cute! My kids will really love some new material -especially the knock-knock jokes!

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