Waking Up To a New Beginning

My Three Young Ladies
My Three Young Ladies

   When my three daughters were young I didn't see time passing in quite the same way I do now. Every minute was full... full of laughter, surprise, brilliance, music or drama. Full of life, and full of love. It's still like that when they're here. They seem to carry all of that with them wherever they go. It doesn't stay in the house when they leave except in photographs and video.

   There has been a lot of wasted time in this house over the last few weeks. I've struggled at work, struggled with school, and struggled with time management. With my daughters here I had no problem managing time; possibly because they did it for me. The youngest of the trio has been planning her wedding, and I'll walk down the aisle for the third time just a few days from now. I'm already feeling the loss. This will be the most difficult.

Smith Girls With the Perfect Family Pet
Smith Girls With the Perfect Family Pet

Every minute with them has been a gift. Each year of each of their lives I was given 525,600 gifts. If I could re-live those I'd correct some of my many regrettable mistakes; and I'd choose once again to experience the countless unforgettable moments of love, joy, peace and even sorrow that made the last twenty-seven or so years so special. It's been lovely chaos. Sweet insanity.

The three Smith girls (and their mother) made the camping trips magical. They filled rainy days with games, music and movies. They kept me company when, as a young man, I worked alone on weekends and holidays. They grew up with the perfect family pet, and helped me live through the grief of having to lay her to rest.

Two With Dad
Two With Dad
Three Smiths Picking on Each Other
Three Smiths Picking on Each Other

   It wasn't from the very beginning; but somewhere back in the first few years of parenthood I started to crawl out of the man I was without children. It took me a while to squeeze into my life as a father. Life was just work and sleep before that. I see that in recent weeks, I've slipped back into that. I left life behind, and went back to work and sleep.

   Two huge family events happening in the very near future... A third grandchild due anytime, and a third daughter marrying and leaving home. These life-changing things going on around me, and I've been working and sleeping through the life-filled minutes leading up to them. Bad habits coming back from the past. All just wasted time. When we wake up this coming Sunday morning, Mrs. Smith will be the only girl in this family named Smith. And she and I will probably have three grandchildren by then.

My Big Black Cowboy Hat
My Big Black Cowboy Hat

2005: Our Last Vacation as The Smiths

The New Beginning

When I open my eyes Sunday morning my life will be different. The house will be different. Everything will be different. I have to embrace that soon. I have to accept this change before Saturday night. Before that little girl in these pictures puts her arm around mine for the longest walk of my life.

I've been afraid of not doing this well... of not being able to give the last one away with a smile... of not being able to live in a quiet house... of not being able to satisfy Mrs. Smith's need for companionship. I have only a few days to prepare. Each of those days has 1,440 minutes that I need to use as wisely as possible. I have to crawl out of one life, and begin another. I did it before, and I can do it again.


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Comments 7 comments

Mr. Smith profile image

Mr. Smith 4 years ago from California Author

It's funny, Karen. Nearly a year later, and I haven't gotten any better at it.


Karen Hellier profile image

Karen Hellier 4 years ago from Georgia

Great job. I can feel your pain, and discomfort as my nest is also emptying.


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

Do I ever understand that! Balance is so important at this time. Be kind to yourself.

I wish you the best!


Mr. Smith profile image

Mr. Smith 5 years ago from California Author

Actually, I was referring to the successful life after children. It's about as strange to me as a foreign language right now.


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

Not only are they successful, they improve as time goes on. For me this has been such a wonderful experience.

The more validation I get the better, even when it comes in with helpful hints as to how to improve.

When someone says, "You have really improved since you first began." it is the highest compliment you can receive.

Keep on writing. I look forward to your next adventure in words.

Miles of smiles coming your way.


Mr. Smith profile image

Mr. Smith 5 years ago from California Author

Thank you for reading, and for the comment. It's good to know people do this successfully.


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

Beautiful story. You did well and you will do well. You are simply entering into another phase of this wonderful life you have been entrusted with.

I'm sure you and Mr. Smith will be able to work out a formula that enhances both of your lives. There are so many things you have not done up to this point that you now are free to do.

Laugh a little each day. Don't take yourselves too seriously. Enjoy the "moment" and live each day as if you were first married, without children.

I wish only the best for you.

This, coming from a 66 year old who married 46 years ago and knows the empty nest all too well. In the end, if you hang in there, you will flourish and succeed.

Voted up and awesome.

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