What Kind of Dad Will I Be?

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My life is going to change in a big way. Not too long ago, after coming home from playing basketball, my wife casually looked at me and told me she was pregnant. Disbelief turned into confusion, and then from confusion to joy, but a hint of fear sat in.

Finding out that my wife is having a baby is both exciting and scary. I’ve always thought I would be ready to welcome a kid into this world armed with life lessons and a vast knowledge worldly advice to offer, I would be a human fortune cookie of sorts. But the older I get, I've realized how little I know. Am I ready? Are we ever ready? I have so many questions!

I want to be prepared for what’s coming, but I have no idea what’s coming (besides a baby of course). I've become accustomed to my free time over the years, from what I gather that will be a thing of the past.

My outlook on life has suddenly changed, and life has a whole new meaning. I've never given a second thought about things such as a will or life insurance. It may be time to get my act together.

I will turn to my dad for advice. He was a great dad and is still a role model for me today. Those are huge shoes to fill; he always knew just the right thing to say. (He also has enormous feet)

I will look to my mother as well. We can still learn a lot from our parents. I've never understood new parents that don't trust their parents with their child. They raised you!! Or is that why you don't trust them?

As I prepare for this major life altering event, I will ask my friends for pointers. Most of my friends have at least one kid by now and some have teenagers. I’m going to be an old dad; I had better start taking care of myself.

I've never been good with babies. Will it come naturally? Will I just pick him/her up and know exactly what to do? Doubtful, but I’m more than willing to learn, I’m going into this wide eyed but eager. I've never changed a diaper in my life, but I have a feeling I’m in for many firsts along the way.

As crazy as the world seems today, how will I prepare a baby for what’s out there? These are chaotic times; I have to prepare for the worst. And have you seen these college tuitions lately? Better work on that jump shot….can you say scholarship?

I will have to get used to saying no. I’m sort of a push over. The dogs can attest to this, they’ve never been grounded.

What if we have twins? I recently raised this question and found myself in serious trouble for this line of thinking. (Luckily the ultasound showed just one baby)

I do look forward to this major change in my life, as hard as it may be at times. My wife is an amazing woman, full of kindness and patience; she’s going to need it, being the only adult in the house.

Ultimately, the answer to my question lies with me. Only I can be a good dad to my child, willing to make the necessary sacrifices and commitments. To always be there for my son or daughter will be the most important job of my life, and one that I must take seriously. I'm sure I will make mistakes along the way, but it won't be from a lack of effort.

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Comments 14 comments

win-winresources 4 years ago from Colorado

Congratulations Weestro-

Indeed, an exciting journey lies ahead. Fortunately you sound like a reasonable and level-headed fellow - good start.

The advice I have always given to expectant parents is simple.

First- recall your own childhood in as much detail as you can. Remember what your parents did that made you feel good, worthy, loved, and valued. Be sure to do that for your children. Also remember what they did that made you feel the opposite - and try your best to don't do that.

Second - no parent is perfect. We all do the best we can. As long as there is fundamental love, respect, honesty, and dignity given to the child, and expected from the child, the likelihood is that the child will internalize these positive traits and grow into a delightful and loving adult.

Third- no child is perfect. Please also see item two above. Since no one is perfect, loving allowance is due and owing to everyone. Mistakes bring learning opportunities not abuse.

Last- Physical punishment is nothing more than violence. No one should want to see fear in their child's eyes. There are numerous ways to teach a child what is right without beating, slapping, pinching, twisting, shaking or using your hands (or voice) in any other manner than a loving caress.

Congratulations again.

-DW


KathyH profile image

KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

You are in for a wonderful ride, Weestro! :) That's all I can say... and I did have that twin thing happen. I had an ultrasound at 20 weeks, and the technician had to leave the room. She came back with the doctor and said "one head, two heads... " Oh GAWD, not a two-headed baby? But fortunately, it was only twins! LOL!!! Then she asked "any history of twins in the family?" I answered no, and she said "there is now."

Congratulations! And you thought that passing gas in the middle of the night was noisy? You're about to learn what noisy really is! :) All the best to all of you. You have such a wonderful attitude towards your new adventure, I'm sure you will be a wonderful father, and your wife a fantastic mother as well. :)

Remember to always have extra diapers in the house and lots and lots of wipes, this could get messy! :) Best to both of you!


rebeccamealey profile image

rebeccamealey 4 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

This was a very sweet read. I guarantee that you will be a top Pop!


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

weestro,

Huge-whoppin'-congratulations!!!!!!

I got so excited for you while I was reading this. I sincerely believe, you're gonna be great at being a dad. I'm taking it as a good sign that you're worried about alllllll those things you mentioned in your Hub. That says you care enough to be concerned and double-checking yourself.

I can't say from experience because, I never had children (not by choice), but honestly, I've taken a good bit of care of a whole lot of them, and a great deal of knowing what to do for them comes naturally. However, that's not to say that folks new to little ones shouldn't seek advice from those who are experienced in raising them.

I was blessed to be a part of a large family, and had more stand-in "parents" than I could "shake a stick at", and it was an awesome way to grow up. It's good advice that you got in earlier comments about remembering how it was done for you when you were little, so I'd say just pay it forward. It's doesn't require rocket science to be a good parent, auntie, uncle, grandparent or Godparent ... it just takes love, a whole lot of patience, and remembering to enjoy the wonder of it all.

femme


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

WinWin, thank you for the sound advice, I hope to stay reasonable!

Thankfully no twins kathy, not sure if I could handle it...will definitely start stocking up on the diapers!

Thanks Rebecca, glad you enjoyed it, I'll do my best!

femme, I will work on the patience, guess I'm going to need it huh? Thanks for the tips!


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

So happy to hear you are being blessed. With you worrying about it, it almost guarentees that you will be an awesome dad. Just remember one thing. When you change the diaper, the unopened tapes go on the bottom. My husband put many a diaper on backwards. LOL! Congratulations and give your wife a big hug from us all.


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Unopened tapes out, got it! I think...I may need to remember that Becky! Thanks for reading and for the kind words!


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

No, not out, On the bottom. They lay on their backs while you change them. And if it is a boy, make sure you don't take the diaper off until you have the clean one ready. The cool air often triggers peeing. Boys pee up when they are on their backs and you could end up with a face full.


FF Commish profile image

FF Commish 4 years ago from Milwaukee, WI

Congrats, weestro, and thanks for the great Hub. I think that you'll know the first moment that you see your child if you'll be a great dad or not: as soon as the child comes out, there's nothing else in the world at that moment. You'll do great! My one piece of advice from my own experience: make sure to wake up with your child at least once per week. There is nothing better than being the first person that your child sees in the morning and bringing him or her love, comfort and joy. Enjoy the parenthood journey -- you can never go back, but it is the best ride of all!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks FF Commish, great advice, will follow!


KathyH profile image

KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

BECKY! What great advice, I am giggling my head off here at your advice! After raising two boys, I know how true it is! :) Just remember all this advice Weestro, you will do a GREAT job!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

CONGRATS Weestro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok ok, I am calm again. I just cant help myself when I hear baby news. A baby is ALWAYS a wonderful blessing =) I think you will make a wonderful dad. I base this on your Hubs I've read and on the mention of your own parents who you look up to and will ask for advice. Armed with a supportive extended family and with your own instincts you will do fantastic. I have faith in you and your wife.


kelleyward 4 years ago

Congrats! Your life will change so much you'll have a hard time remembering life before kids. It's challenging at times but most of all wonderful. Tonight I got to put all three of my boys to bed after lots of hugs and kisses. I remember feeling like having children opened up another door to life that had been all around me but I couldn't enter into until I became a mom. I'm so exited for you and your wife! Take care, Kelley


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks Ardie, I will try me best....as far as family, to say the grandparents on both sides are excited is an understatement...they are ready to spoil! Thanks for stopping by.

kelley, thank you. I am excited and ready (i think) to open that door! Thanks for your kind words.

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