What would be the only thing you would not tell your adolescents you did when you were their age?

by uncaring parents,

by vicious bullies

at school

is not something

any parents

want to brag about.

Having the last laugh

is still not enough,

having lived

every kid's worst nightmare,

you are happy

just travelling through life,

teaching your children

to be open-minded

to be comfortable

with other people

and other children,

who don't fit

the popular

mainstream

types.

Preaching

understanding

and

acceptance,

to help

young people

to stand for themselves

is easier

than

sharing

your own story,

the suicide

you nearly

didn't survive.

The graduation

from primary school

to high,

no longer,

the oldest in a school,

you'd known for half a decade,

the youngest again

the most vulnerable,

in scary,

unfamiliar territory,

heaving with hormonal kids

fighting for their place

under the sun.

Complicated by desire

for the opposite sex,

dreaming about having

a ready-made set of friends,

trying to be the same

like everyone else.

Gangs of pubescent girls,

slaps and punches,

group assaults,

fighting over

the same

good-looking

cool guy,

you didn't really

care about,

all you wanted

is non-cool dude,

the nerdy,

smart guy,

who dared

to dream big,

without following

the crowd.

With innocent naivety

you condemned

yourself

to be different,

leaving

behind

every level

of

that

silly

school

hierarchy,

you copped it

physically

and

spiritually,

everyone

from the bottom

could get away

with bullying

you.

Your care-givers

thought

you have done

something wrong

to be getting that kind

of attention.

"Pretty and obedient girls

are not bullied at school,"

was their answer to you.

They forced you

to go to school,

sobbing

and scared.

You couldn't learn,

constantly

watching your back.

"You're a weirdo

and you're never

going to be anything,"

ringed constantly in your ears

but you were determined,

not to let the bullies win.

And yet,

you were lonely,

the injuries

to your self-esteem

were worse than the pain,

harming yourself,

hiding in your room,

slicing your wrists,

you phoned your only friend

before you lost

your consciesness.

"She is attention-seeking,"

was a new brand name for you.

Your care-givers

labeled you 'difficult,'

but you managed

to get through,

you kept your dignity

and you finished the school.

Now,

with the benefit

of hindsight,

you are able to see

those few schools' years

as character building.

It made you

who you are.

You are glad,

that the attempted suicide

wasn't successful,

you are glad,

that you followed your dreams

having your own teenagers now,

you would never dare

to tell them this story...

too painful, too shameful, too close to your heart...

But also you never tell them

to put up with bullying,

or reassure them that it is "character building",

or tell them to ignore it and it will go away.

Whether they are victim or a bystander,

they have to report it

and force parents and school to deal with it,

because their lives are at stakes,

teenagers live now,

their years of high schools

are everything they care about,

friends are everything,

they can help them up

or pull them down...

Listen to them,

and deal with their worries,

immediatelly...

bullying is serious,

can not wait,

later is sometimes too late.