When Your Child Reports a Molestation

Mommy, I have something to tell you...
Mommy, I have something to tell you...

My Story: Advice to Parents

This is a very serious topic. I personally went through this experience and I know that, as hard as it is to revisit, it's important to write about this issue in order to help others facing such a crisis.

One of my four children reported a sexual molestation to me the day after turning four years old. How did a four-year-old report this? It started with a dog. My child was petting a dog inappropriately, asking the dog if it felt good. When I questioned my child, I was told an adult had touched my child in this way. The adult accused was my ex-husband, the child's father.

No parent wants to hear this kind of news. It means shock, sadness, anger, so many emotions, and the alarm of having to do something about it. Some parents might ignore such a report because of the embarrassment, challenge, facing the hostility of the system, the unlikelihood that the case will be proven, and the mere fact the child will now have many emotional problems for years to come. While the emotions are so intense, it is crucial the child doesn't see you over-react. The child is under a great deal of stress even to share about the experience and must be emotionally protected at all costs.

At the time I made the report to police (away from the child), court issues were going on with my ex over past-due child support. While I couldn't imagine these issues would be inter-mingled, I believed my child. I knew her father abused me physically and sexually during our marriage. This is why I left when our child was only a year old. At the time, he agreed to only 20% visitation, but I had my concerns as to whether he would one day abuse our child, too.

Why did I allow him to see our child at all, you ask? The court system does not care whether a husband abused his wife. They will NOT protect the child UNTIL it is PROVEN the child is abused. Great. Let the child suffer a lifetime of emotional consequences from even one traumatic event by a parent before protecting the child AFTER the fact?! Well, it appeared my worst fears came true.

Amazingly, the police that took my report advised against taking my child for a medical exam that day. I was told to schedule a routine physical appointment the following Monday without telling the hospital why. Upon giving my child a bath, I noticed bruises on my child's inner thigh. Fingerprint bruises. On Monday I called the doctor to schedule a "routine exam". My child couldn't be seen for three weeks! Therefore, I had to tell them my child had bruises and had reported a sexual molestation. I wanted the bruises documented. I didn't care what the police advised me.

The hospital then contacted CPS. The CPS supervisor contacted me and took it from there. A forensic physical exam documenting the bruises with photos, and a forensic psychological exam (MDIC) were conducted. Any DNA evidence was destroyed because of bathing my child. The photos didn't turn out. The bruises dissipated. My child didn't share enough at the forensic counseling session to convince anyone. No concrete evidence. The case was closed.

When my child told a neighbor about the abuse, another report was made by the neighbor. Coincidentally, our court hearing was scheduled the next day with my ex. He somehow conjured CPS to get involved and side with him that my "unfounded" reports were merely keeping him from getting full custody of his child. Custody determines child support and since our hearing had to do with support, his next move involved increasing his visitation. Per advice from two family law attorneys, I didn't bring this allegation into the courtroom; he did. I was shocked to hear the voice of the very CPS supervisor that ordered the forensic exams on the speaker phone with the judge in the courtroom state that 'if there were any further allegations made, CPS would consider it as child abuse by the mother, and that our child needed to spend as much time with the father as possible.' He was awarded temporary 50/50 custody!

During the next three months waiting for the follow-up hearing, our child began wetting unnaturally. I didn't know this was a symptom of sexual abuse. I began documenting everything. I took my child to counseling and was told the County would pay for it. Even though my child told the counselor what happened and a report was made to CPS, the file was closed again and the counseling bills were sent to me. I appealed those bills and ended up in a State hearing. At that hearing, it was deemed my child did indeed suffer this criminal act. The biggest credibility I had was the fact I raised three other children and did not have a past history of making false allegations. Though the perpetrator could not be proven in this case, the State caused the County to cover all costs associated with counseling for my child, past and future.

I presented the behavioral log and State evidence to the custody mediator. The nurse that was present at the initial forensic physical exam also made a statement to the Court regarding the bruises she saw. When the follow-up custody hearing was held, the court then reduced the father's custody to 30%. My hands were still tied in fully protecting our child.

Since then, our child made a second report (now alleging someone else while in the care of the father). Another investigation ensued. When I shared this with a family member, not wanting to go through this hostile system alone again, she took control. However, her reaction escalated into full-blown tyrany, exaggerating the facts in order to get government involved. The head of CPS received extreme pressure from State litigators because of this. I then had to contact the head of CPS directly to diffuse the chaos. My log saved the integrity of the situation. My family member, unbeknownst to her, would have driven CPS to take my child away!

Now, six years later, my child remembered the name of one of the molesters. Though there was yet another investigation, the case was closed due to lack of evidence. My child continues to go to counseling, suffers weight gain issues and social anxiety.

Why do molesters choose children? Because children are not mentally and emotionally developed enough to convict their perpetrators. More times than not, the abuser will get away with it. One in four children, if not more, is a victim of sexual molestation in America. I have four children and unfortunately, those stats were true. It is most likely a higher number of children are abused because of the many cases that go unreported.

After analyzing the "timing" of so many child molest cases I am almost to the point of wondering if non-custodial parents purposely abuse the child(ren), knowing the custodial parent will make the report(s), which can then be strategically used against the reporting parent to gain custody! Abusers aren't about the interest of the child; it's all about the almighty child support obligation. Can abusers be so calculated and evil?

My advice to parents is as follows:

1. Report the sexual abuse to police away from your child. Do NOT show reactivity to your child at all costs. It's important that your child doesn't feel shame or blame.

2. If the police do not contact CPS, do it yourself and ask that the child be given a forensic physical exam immediately. If your child has any bruising or physical evidence visible, take photos yourself! One thing you must remember: Do NOT share with CPS or anyone as to whether you were a victim of molestation yourself. They will use this information against you ~ that somehow, your emotional stress has now been transferred to your child's current situation.

3. If you have court issues going on with a suspected ex, don't inter-mingle the issues in the courtroom. If he does, his ulterior motives may become evident to authorities. Based upon expensive legal advice, you must be calm and reasonable at all costs; don't go overboard with emotional distress. Keep in mind the law states a suspect is innocent until proven guilty. You may feel like you're being more victimized by the system than your child, even to the point of losing custody, but this is only temporary. Stay focused and know there will be battles, but the truth will win the war.

4. Do not involve family members or friends that could fuel the situation. The more angry outbursts there are, the weaker your case. Remember, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. I even had my best friend say something so hurtful that it caused a break in our friendship for over a year. She said, "You're giving your child to a child molester!" (speaking of the fact I had to honor visitation in spite of the allegations). Nothing could have hurt me more as a mother.

5. Keep a LOG of everything, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

6. Make sure your child gets counseling as soon as possible. You might need personal counseling as well. See if the County will cover these expenses for you. If they don't at first, once your child shows emotional evidence of trauma via the counselor, you may receive reimbursement for all expenses by the County.

While there may be no due justice by the end of your fight, your child needs to eventually know you did everything you could (when the child is old enough).

I wrote this hub, though it was hard to write, for the sole purpose of advising parents and encouraging them to listen to the child, report, fight with wisdom, protect the child from emotional distress and provide counseling. Counseling is of utmost importance, because a traumatic event such as this doesn't just go away. Your child will suffer the consequences the rest of his/her life. Get your child into counseling as soon as possible.

It's amazing to me that convicted sexual perpetrators only go to jail for maybe a year. At least Megan's Law provides the names of these criminals, but the problem is far greater than we realize. Perpetrators don't have to pay as high a price as the child does for the damage they cause. If they did, our prisons would have waiting lines hundreds of miles long.

Talk to your children about what is appropriate and inappropriate touching. Keep the lines of communication open. Most predators are people your children KNOW. Don't ignore this issue, as much as you may want to. May Angels watch over our children and I pray my readers never suffer such a nightmare. God bless.

More by this Author

  • Psoriasis: You're Not Alone
    6

    Psoriasis is a fairly common skin condition and is estimated to affect approximately 1%-3% of the US population. It currently affects roughly 7.5 to 8.5. How in the world did I get chosen to be in that small percentage...

  • When Child Support Services FAILS
    107

    Readers, I am outraged, and I want to hear from YOU single parents of minors who are also outraged at the lack of enforcement by County Child Support Services! This is an attempt to get some attention to this matter...

  • Unemployed and Can't Afford COBRA? Options!
    8

    Because so many are unemployed who can't afford COBRA premiums, you might want to know about the President's stimulus bill regarding COBRA (effective 3/1/09) as well as other affordable healthcare options through...


Comments 26 comments

fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina

I am so sad and angry right now I can't comment.

Lots of hugs,

dori


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 7 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

fortunerep, hurt brings healing...a lot of people are hurting and there's only one answer; His name is Jesus. We are in this world, but not of it. It can be the most wicked place! Our hope lies in Him, praise God.


leigh 6 years ago

Thank you for posting this. I have been searching for something online to help me figure out what I need to do. It seems like nothing is happening and he is just out there getting away with everything. My daughter is the one who is having to pay for what he did. It isn't fair. I am going to talk to a divorce atourney tomorrow and see where to go from here. I don't want him to be able to do this to my other girls. Your story is so terrifying. I wish we could just move to another planet right now.


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 6 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

leigh, yes ~ it is terrifying and tragic. My best advice to you is to keep the allegations out of the divorce papers; keep the issues separate. If you get accused of uterior motives (divorce) for reporting the allegations (molestation), ask them "How do I get out from under such accusations? I'm doing the best I can to keep these issues separate, and while I believe my child and wish to protect my other children, I am not guilty of these accusations."

All you can do is your best to protect your children. The law will try to bind your hands, but let God and your heart lead you. Your children will one day know that you did everything you could. Try, if you can, to get the one(s) affected by this into counseling. A counselor will help you, if needed, based on what your child(ren) reveal. Do not coach them at all. Let the professionals gently guide them to revealing abuse.

God be with you ~ He is; don't forget it!!


evelyn 6 years ago

THANK YOU


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 6 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

I pray this helps, evelyn, and I hope you are not going through such a nightmare ~ but that nightmares will be prevented, and that unprepared parents will be able to face these issues more prepared. Thank you, evelyn.


truly 6 years ago

I do want to thank you for posting this blog, I am currently a mote of three young children and my five year old just reported to me three days ago that he was molested by someone in the family. Now some how they(cps) is thinking that maybe something was done to my tree year old as well, and this had been going on for about 2 years. I am looking for solitude and preying to god that this man gets put away because I will take justice into my own hands for my children. Your right no child should ever have to go through such a traumatic thing and the government should do something about these sick and nasty people in the world.


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 6 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

Hello, my fellow mote (mother), whos been victimized along with her children, not only by the perpetrator, but by the 'system'. You have a long road ahead, and I do hope this hub is helpful as you go. Remember the children are most important. Seek help for them and try to handle the fight against the perpetrator and the system (if applies) away from their little ears. They've been traumatized enough. When they are old enough, you can share with them what you did to protect them. Whether this man gets put away or not, he faces the judgment of God NOW and worse, when he stands before the Great White Throne judgment of God. Keep praying and documenting everything, for, if the system is to one day make changes for the betterment of justice for children, they will have consistent records of how the current system has FAILED. I don't mean to sound as though we are defeated in the fight, for each county and court system handles these things in their own ways; some better than others. My heart is with you. Just know you're not alone. God is with you. Trust in Him. Love those children and be the best you can be for them.


anon 6 years ago

Thank you very much for this post. My 2 1/2 yr old told me that her father "hurt her pee pee" on Oct 18th and it's already been a very difficult road. After 1 yr of taking her to her pediatrician for vaginal pain and then the start of night terrors and screaming "I don't want to" about 1 month prior, bless her heart she finally told her mommy what was happening. I had my suspicions but didn't just couldn't quite put it all together. Our world has turned upside down. I now have a restraining order and were awaiting her forensic exam to see if there is scar tissue. It's terrible that she has had to endure this trauma brought on by her own father but the interviews, therapy and now forensic exams are also very traumatic. I know that God will get us through this though. I feel so defeated and powerless sometimes having to feel like I need to "convince" the detectives and CPS that this happened. It's very unfortunate that the word of a child is not good enough in this broken system. I will pray for all of you fellow mothers and children that have to suffer in this pain. God will help us through this!!!! and we need to realize the blessings that he has given us. One of which is that we are aware of the situation rather than it continuing to happen without our knowledge for years to come.


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 6 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

Oh anon, my heart and the hearts of others are with you and are ministered to by you. Yes, praise God He has revealed this thing early on, for she may actually be less traumatized at this point than if this continued!! Our children look to us, the parents and adults they trust and love and who love them, to rise above such a terrible thing and continue to show them that love protects and love overcomes. Love heals and is greater than any form of wickedness. I'm so glad you know the Lord and He knows you. His heart is for your daughter and is with you through this. There is no greater Comforter. What the Enemy has sought for evil, God will turn around for good. We claim His victory here, in Jesus' Name!! Thank you so much for opening your heart-felt situation to us, to help all who need to know they're not alone and what has happened is not ignored by our heavenly Father.


Dianne Smith 5 years ago

Awesome post! This article helps those who are in this situation in that you are offering hope and real advice for those that find themselves in the same situation. Thanks for being such a good role model and getting the word out there that there is help. The fact that you are smart, brave and courageous enough to fight back and get away in a frightening situation that you are facing is outstanding. Thanks for posting and good job, this would also serve as an eye opener for us parent to be vigilant enough in ensuring the safety and protection our kid at all time. With this situation, I would like to share my safety solution to keep my kid safe wherever she goes. It’s a mobile personal safety solutions that would allow my kid to ask immediate help and it also notifies me and my husband if my kid is in trouble. This is my safety protection for my kid check this out http://safekidzone.com/


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 5 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

Thank you so much, Dianne! I am thankful that my horrible experience may help someone else. Just be prepared and be WISE and rational ~ know your enemies and how to fight them. Emotional outbursts and rage, anger and accusations will only hurt you and your child. Your heart will keep you in check ~ for the very best outcome. The best it could otherwise be, as the system is terribly flawed. The dishonest manipulators have made it look like the honest-to-God cry for help is just another 'wolf cry'. Lord have mercy...God bless you!


Ang 5 years ago

Thank you so much for writing this, I have felt so alone during the past 6 months! My oldest daughter opened up about my ex-husband molesting her years ago. Since that time, we had a child together, divorced, have joint custody, and we have been in and out of court.

I THOUGHT I did the right thing...I took both my children for counseling/forensic interviews/medical examinations. I called DCF, the police department, and military crimes unit. At the end of the day, regardless of how credible my daughter is, all cases were closed because "there is no physical evidence" (ie: he didn't rape her), she no longer has to see him (but my youngest does), and it is simply a he-said-she-said case.

I THOUGHT the system was set up to protect children- our most valuable and voulnerable citizens. What it feels like is it is actually set up to protect the molesters rights. It's sick...and frustrating...and at the end of the day I have no idea how on earth I am going to send my child back to his house and wait for the day she tells me he did it to her too......


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 5 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

Remember, GOD SEES and we will NEVER understand WHY our children are NOT protected from such things! We MUST trust Him, that His judgment upon those who commit such atrocities is FURIOUS. I am right there with you, that this WORLD protects dead-beat dads and child molestors. With all I hear about what's going on, I wonder if CPS removing children from their homes for profit aren't part of the huge molestation rings out there ~ wouldn't that just answer everything?!!!! Child trafic'ing!!! Oh, LORD, we pray Your divine protection over these children. We plead Your mercy upon the children and Your righteous judgment be POURED OUT WITHOUT MEASURE upon those who commit such acts!!


VendettaVixen profile image

VendettaVixen 5 years ago from Ireland

This was such a touching post, and very helpful, too.

I can never have children, and even if I could, I've only just turned eighteen, but I am very close to my little Godson. He talks to me about anything and everything, and if I ever heard him say that someone had hurt him like that, I'd have no problem believing him.

It's absolutely sickening that some adults, the very people who are supposed to be the protectors of children, would take pleasure in hurting helpless, defenceless kids.

Best of luck to you and yours. I hope you never have to go through the pain of something like this again.


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 5 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

Thank you, VendettaVixen! I so appreciate your response to this issue. YES ~ these little children cannot LIE about things they know nothing about and the way they describe these things is with their understanding. It's the most defiling thing for a parent or relative, anyone who LOVES them to hear, realize and fight against. Those who harm these precious ones have a HIGHER JUDGE, amen! We just had a MAJOR victory! The man known as 'Daddy' who was first accused and then failed to protect this child has had his parental rights TERMINATED. He is a STRANGER to us, and no doubt a STRANGER to God. We are free of this evil, and I pray we NEVER have to face this issue ever again. Thank you so much, again. Watch out for that little one, and may God bless you with a beautiful-hearted wife and precious children of your own, if that is your heart's desire.


my little lamb 4 years ago

You are right they don't listen to your children. We need someone to help us stand up for our children. I have been praying to God day and night pleading for some one to just take time get to know her so she will open up and talk to them. I feel helpless and I am the one that is suppose to help her. I have been told not to let him see her by different professionals and then by some other professionals to let him see her right away. I am so confused we already went through childsupport but he has never established his parental rights the last I heard was the court "punts the case" not for sure what the means. I know that he didn't want to take me to court anymore as of back then. We had what I believe was a temporary agreement through attorneys for certain day for a few hours at a time visits but nothing was signed. Does anyone know what I can and cant do or does this agreement hold ground.


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 4 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

my little lamb, if you don't have an Order After Hearing or a filed Marital Settlement Agreement that you both signed with visitation arrangements, you can do whatever you want, even not let your child see him, especially if you have logs of her behavior or something to validate why you think she is unsafe. It doesn't matter WHAT professionals tell you; if it's NOT in a Court Order, you are under NO obligation. Do what is right. If he wants to fight you for custody, then that will bring on a court hearing and a subsequent Order After Hearing, including a child support order. I'm not an attorney, but I CAN tell you this much and bet my bottom dollar on it. Press on and do the right thing!!


Kya 4 years ago

This needs to be heard!!! ACTION NEEDS TO BE TAKEN NOW!!!!

My 5 year old daughter has told me 3 times, ever since she was 3 yrs old, that her father has touched her inappropriately!!! She specifically said "Daddy put a pencil in my butt butt and he slapped me. He said that he was going to put the pencil in my butt butt later, Dont tell mommy and he does it because Im his daughter and he's my father." I took her to the emergency room at Childrens Hospital and the doctor there found irritation in her vagina and rectum. Was told to take her to CPS and file for a protection order. I did everything that I was told but in the end everything backfired on me! The protection order was dropped because at the last minute the doctor backed out of coming to court to testify and CPS said that they closed the case because even though my daughter told them what happened, she couldn't be specific with which area she was touched because she called both areas butt butt and that they had to ask her leading question to get her to tell them what happened, instead of her openly telling them. The judge handling the case said that the "clear and convincing evidence". that I had, which was the medical report from Childrens, couldn't be used as evidence because the doctor wouldn't come to court and CPS dropped the case! ARE YOU SERIOUS?? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!

So then I was told by the state attorney and my lawyer at the time of the protection order case to have her go to therapy because if my daughter tells the therapist, CPS will re-open the case. Did all of that, my daughter told the therapist, the therapist called CPS and they again WILL NOT RE-OPEN THE CASE!!! Also to add, I found out that 4 days after my daughters father was served papers for the protection order he filed for full custody of my daughter!! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME AGAIN!!! SO NOW MY DAUGHTERS FATHER IS GOING AROUND TELLING PEOPLE THAT I'M CRAZY, BEING VINDICTIVE, LYING, AND ANYTHING ELSE HE CAN COME UP WITH TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE I'M THE BAD GUY. When at the end of the day its not me coming up with these things, its his daughter telling me these things about him!!! With there being only a month away from the final custody case, its looking like he will win because I have no lawyer and no lawyer will handle my case because they think I'm making up all of the things that my daughter is saying or they don't think that I have enough evidence to prove that these things are happening.

With all of this being said, theirs so much more to this story but I REALLY NEED SOME HELP WITH THIS SITUATION!!! I want to raise awareness LIKE NOW!!!


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 4 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

GOD, KYA I HEAR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE IS GOD?????!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes, I JUST DON'T DON'T DON'T UNDERSTAND. I recently heard a grown child born into a Satanist family about how these missing children on posters everywhere are the ones THEY take for either mothering baby sacrifices or become the human sacrifices for that organization. She was diguised because she's always in danger for EXPOSING them. The horrifying thing is, she said she CAN'T go to police or government agencies BECAUSE THEY ARE A PART OF IT!!!!!!

Is there ANY OTHER EXPLANATION????? THEY ARE THE SICK ONES, HANDING OUR CHILDREN OVER TO MOLESTERS AND GIVING THEM CUSTODY TO KEEP DOING IT!!!!!!!

I'M SO MAD.......I'M JUST SO MAD. Call Justice For Children NOW. Look them up on the internet. File a claim with the Victims Compensation Board for your child's counseling and watch them deny it. Appeal and have all your facts together for the higher up meeting. THAT'S WHERE I GOT OUR VINDICATION!!!!!!

PRAY that the DOCTOR DO WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE!!!! PROVIDE THE MEDICAL EVIDENCE!!!!

PRAY - though we don't understand, PRAY. MY SOUL IS WITH YOU.


Kendra 4 years ago

Thank you for writing this. Our stories are almost identical...I agree that they may choose the time to molest them because of the court proceedings. THank you for your words of wisdom and your hope that you gave me that I did the right thing and to stay strong.


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 4 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

I know it sounds so 'sick', doesn't it Kendra, that they will 'choose the time to molest them because of othe court proceedings'. But they ARE sick! We can't even fathom the minds of sick people and it's sickening to even realize what they are doing. That's the dividing factor between good and evil - and let me tell you, GOOD WILL WIN. Just don't give up. You're not alone.


Charlene 4 years ago

Thanks so much I am a grandmother that found out that my granddaughter has been molested by her step father . I am going thru the authorities right now to keep her from going back to her home.


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 4 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

At least you're armed with this information beforehand, Charlene. Fight with wisdom and know your enemy. My prayers are with you.


Just Little Me 4 years ago

Well, I would like to say, this is so hard to read. I am also in this same boat and it is so wrong. I am trying to protect my little girl now from her sick a** father. My ex molested my oldest daughter. My daughter told me, I reported it to the police. They told me that 2 things kept the case from going to court: she waited too long and she went back to his place. She went back because she know if she didn't, he would started on the other girl. The Det. told me that he strongly believe in what she is saying, but his hands are tied, the police for the next step, don't want to press chargers because of those 2 reasons. So, he is off scott free. Go figure. As it stands, I am trying to protect my youngest from him. I told him to court. One judge told me he had to go though cousling and a sex evaluation class to get more custody with her. The other, gave him more free time to do what he wants. Help me, what am I to do. Yes, sad to say, he has to play with her wrong to for the courts to understand. But you put a law suit against the judge and everyone else, they will hide it all. Someone NEEDS to stand up for the little ones. The lawyer for my kids, told me they don't have a voice till they are 13. Hello??? My girl is 9, so she has to wait four years and in that time she can get F***ed up by him. Then I have more problems. What is this world coming to??? Wish this can be easier. I wish you the best of luck and so sorry to hear what you and your girl had to go though.


Shepherd's Lamb profile image

Shepherd's Lamb 4 years ago from Roseville, CA Author

Just Little Me, if you have a visitation order you have to abide by, then the police's 'cause' for not going to court because your daughter went back to his place is moot. In other words, could you have kept her from visiting her dad without a contempt charge? No. A child often will 'wait' to tell someone, because they are scared to death to tell anyone, usually because of threats made by the abuser and shame. They don't think anyone will believe them. A child counselor can vouch for that fact.

Is there a way you can hire an attorney to get full custody until the child is 13 and can speak for herself? Will your 9-yr-old tell a Mediator what has been happening to her? I would at least ask these questions of an attorney and, if he/she advises that you should do this, if you can't afford to have the attorney handle the case for you, file an Order to Show Cause, in pro per. Some courts have staff that will assist you in filling out the OSC. The judge may then order a custody mediation, which may cost money, but based on your income, the fee could be waived. If the Mediator agrees that the children should remain with you until the 9-yr-old turnes 13 and can speak for herself, you can at least keep her (and her little sister) safe from harm.

Not that CPS would actually protect your children, but have you called them? What I want to see, is that somehow, your children can end up in counseling, at least. Maybe the County will pay for their counseling, should your girls tell the counselor what's been happening. You can't NOT do anything.

I pray God give you wisdom.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working