What and Who Is A Father?
Father vs Dad, Daddy, Poppa
In order to write this article I first must explain to you that - to me anyway -there is a major difference between being a Father and being a DAD or any other endearing term you might use.
Any man can become a Father, all that is required is a little tadpole looking thing injected into the body of a female recipient, willingly or by force through an act of violence; or in this modern day even anonymously by a third party through a sperm bank and this is where the father's responsibility ends . It doesn't require love, or a commitment or the ability to support the child. No one can force you to accept responsibility to nurture, raise, help them learn to ride a bike or sit up and worry until they come in at night. A father does not have to be there.
A Dad on the other hand, often even if he's not the father is there for all these things. He's the one who takes you to school that first day of kindergarten and who coaches your Little League team. He is there to pick you up when you fall and take you on camping trips. He's always there whatever you need and gives unconditionally of his time and money. A dad is someone that is there for his children He loves you no matter what. A Dad can be any Father Figure in your life.
defines a father figure as:
usually an older man, normally one with power, authority, or strength, with whom one can identify with on a deep level and who generates emotions generally felt towards one's father. Despite the literal term "father", the role of a father figure is not limited to the biological parent of a person (especially a child) but may be played by uncles, grandfathers, elder brothers, family friends, or other male role models.
It would not be fair to leave this topic without discussing two other types of DADs the Step father and the absentee father. Let's discuss the absentee father first.
A Dad can become an absentee father in many ways. he can be serving his country,or serving time. he can be divorced from the mother and not granted partial custody or court decreed visitation or he could have just walked away from the family. Sometimes he remains a Dad but often he becomes strictly an absentee father whether by choice or not.
Then there's the step father a man who comes into a family situation and often spends years trying to be accepted as DAD as well as father and some of them are content to be 'my Mother's Husband
My Daddy's an Angel.
Another way a child can loose his or her Dad is to death and this leaves a different kind of hole in the family structure often because the wife and mother can not accept it herself so can not help her child accept it. I have a friend who's husband recently passed away and she's taking it really hard. Every time his name is brought up she tears up, she cries herself to sleep every night and sometimes forgets he's gone. I heard her tell her little one the other day that she should call Daddy for supper before she realized what she said and over reacted by smothering the child with kisses and apologies.
In class this week they made cards for Father's Day and when the girl brought it home the woman went into hysterics and threw it in the garbage before slamming the door to her room and crying. The little girl rescued the picture and brought it to me to ask how she could give it to Daddy so I took her to get some helium balloons. We tied the picture with ribbon and attached it to the balloons and released it to heaven. "Daddy will get it, it's going to float all the way to heaven and Daddy will get it cause he's a angel now." she said.
"Fatherhood and Responsible Manhood Pledge to Family and Community I agree to take the pledge to: Be a responsible man in the community to provide for the safety and well-being of my children Serve as an example of positive male leadership to assist, guide, and direct children in the community who don’t have a father Respect women and advocate against the violence and sexual assault of women Fight against child abuse and neglect and speak out when I see it Walk and hold myself accountable to my children, family, community, and people I engage Use my strengths to strengthen the community Recognize the areas of my life that are short comings and do my due diligence to overcome to be the best I can for my family and community Protect my wife and children if at the expense of my life Provide guidance for my children and teach them provide help for their family, themselves, and the community Teach my children to be responsible and accountable in their life Promote humility and discipline in my children to not demean, mistreat, abuse, or bully other children."
This is a pledge that has been circulating around down here where I'm from but as I post it I have this urge to change the words to include every authority figure however this is a Hub on fatherhood I will leave it as it is.
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