"Why Do Some Mothers Envy their Daughters"

Why Do Some Mothers Envy Their Daughters"

If you're a mother that envy your daughter and jealous her, then you should grow up and get a life.
If you're a mother that envy your daughter and jealous her, then you should grow up and get a life.

Why Do Some Mothers Envy Their Daughters"

 I have met quite a few unhappy young women that have problems with their mothers envying them or being jealous of them and they are miserable because they don't know why their mothers are competing with them. I think this is a ridiculous notion on the part of the mothers, but it's apparently happening in the world that we live in. I don't  really understand, why a mother that suppose to love her children, be jealous or envious the begrudge them happiness. Mothers should love their daughters and be proud of them, like I am of my three, I don't envy them anything, because I'm a mother that want the best of all worlds for my girls. We as mothers should treat them like beautiful and blessed women that they are, and not like they are the other women.  How can any mother be in competition with their daughter over anything and feel good about it, whether it's fashions, relationships, or men. Mothers how can  we love our daughters, if we want to live their life and not ours, remember , we already been there and now it's time for her to walk her road without us interfering.

We should stay in a mothers place, meaning not trying to compete with our daughters over anything, let's try to live our lives, so our daughters can be proud to call us mother, and not the other way around. We don't want our daughters to be afraid of bringing her friends a round because, we aren't acting our age and being a mother, instead of a friend.Our daughters don't need us to be a friend, they need us to be mothers and do what mothers are suppose to do. My daughters are all grown and I have never partied with them, no more than around the house at our family reunion, but never have went out with them, because I would feel uncomfortable out of my element and I sure they would feel uncomfortable in my mines.We, on occasion go to the movies or out to eat , but that's it. Mothers have to know there place; just as children have to know theirs.  Mothers that are in competition with their daughters are sick and don't know it. I'm not trying to put anyone down, but if you have this problem with your daughters, you should go get mental health help, so you can get back on the right track of living in your adult element and not in your children element.The mothers that have this problem may not see the damage they're doing ,to their relationships with their daughters, and by the time they realize it; it might be to late to repair the damage that's already been done. If this is you mother, you need to grow up and stop being so selfish with your daughter, better yet,sit down and act your age for once in your life.

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creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 3 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Hi Eve, thank you so much for your visit and comment, I appreciate you. I would love to be every broken or hurt young lady's adopted mom, but I wouldn't ever want to take anything away from your mom. My prayers and heart goes out to your pain and frustration. I will keep you in my prayers. Godspeed, creativeone59


Eve 3 years ago

Can you adopt me? I would love for you to be my mom!


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creativeone59 4 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Hi Sarah, there are quite a few young ladies that have a communication problem with their mothers and I'm so sorry for your pain, but I think you should pray about the situation and I want you to sit down and write about everything that you feel and how your mother makes you feel from the heart and see if you can't get through to her, since she doesn't listen to you. Writing is the next bless thing. Write the letter, tell her you love her and want to read your letter with a loving heart and open mind. I pray that God open up your moms, heart and her ears to your pain. God bless you and I hope everything turns round for you. creativeone59 or Faye


Sarah 4 years ago

Hi there,

I have a mother where I try my best to get along with her and communicate with her but she just turns every single conversation we have into a negative one. Sometimes I try to be quite and listen to everything she says but then when I speak she doesn't accept what I say. Sometimes she has no answers to the questions I ask her and yet I answer all her questions and speak positive about her. What I hate is when she tries to be better than me and raises her voice when she speaks. I never do this unless she does plus I never butt in unless she does. How do I help my mother think positive about me? I've tried my best.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 4 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Jojo, sweet heart, I want you to know that you are an original design of God and there is no other person in this world exactly like you and that is because God has blessed you with your own beauty,your own gifts, You are special to God if you don't think you're special to anyone else. I don't even know you but because you're hurting my heart hurts for you. I want to love you like you were my own. It doesn't matter one bit wh anyonne else think about you, but what you think of yourself. Just from your letter, I know that you are a wonderful caring person that's got the love of God in your heart. Jojo, I don't want you to let anyone make you feel ugly. useless or anything bad because God has some great plans for you n your life. So, don't try to make your mother proud, make yourslef and God proud of you, because to be honest you and God are the only ones that matter right now in your life. Have you ever told your mother exactly how she makes you feel and ask her why she keep treating you so poorly, ask her do she have the love of God in her heart and if she can't answer you then you will know that the only approval and encouragement you will get is through God, yourself and other people because your mother can't give you what she doesn't have. You have captured my heart tonight because you came to me, with your heart in your hand and if you need to continue to be encouraged uplifted, go up to my hubpages contact page and write me at my yahoo account. Tonight will be the first night of the rest of your life, from this day forward you will feel love from God and from me, I care about what happens to you. Believe that, if you don't believe anything else in this world. You have a lot to live for. Much love to you my dear. dry your tears. creativeone59


Jojo 4 years ago

Hi i got a probs. With ma mother she doesn't hate when achieve sth. Like education but hates when i fix my self like doing ma eyebrows or even when give attention to ma look kinda and always says u don't have to do that although at ma age i'm 19 and in studying pharmacy in college however she was wearing makeup enjoying life but never lets me enjoy and let me feel that i'm beautiful although looked pretty she alway says i'm ugly although ma boy friend tells i'm pretty and i'm the first i got a twin brother and 2 other sisters the thiRd one doesn't look good at all and mum always says she's more pretty u look ugly like shit i noticed me and ma bro. That she always gives alot to her a lot of things and lets her wear make up although she's 14 i don't know and ma sis does sth. Bad she always yells at ma mama told once that the third one is so poor because she was the third one among her siblings is mentally aware she just ruining ma life and always puts me down unfortunatly she destroyed ma self esteem and confidence am typing while i'm crying and just want 2 be respected like ma othes siblings wat should i do pleasee reply am miserable i started 2 hate ma self


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 4 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Megs,for your visit and comment but I'm truly sorry for the pain that your mother caused you. I'm sure you're a terrific mom to your kids, because you love them so much. God bless you. creativeone59


megs 4 years ago

My mom nver accepts the fact that she's insecure nor jealous of us,she hates us if we hav achievements . Im grateful that im a christian, n i dont do t way she does to us to my two kids. They're very precious to me.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 4 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Hi Megs, I'm truly sorry that you all are hurting because of your moms can't see the pain that she's costing because of her not being able to show you all how much she loves you all. Have you set down and talked to her and told her the pain you're feeling and why. Sometimes, it helps to bring it out and let the other person know how you're feeling. Are you all able to talk to her where she will understand your pain. I read these comments from daughters and my hurts for the daughters that is suffering the pains of a mother that's not aware of what her girls are feeling. I have three daughters and I love them dearly. I wish I could give my love to every hurting daughter in this world, so they don't have to suffer the pain that they're experiencing. Keep praying that God open her eyes to her misgivings and start showing you all more love. God bless you all. Much love. creativeone59


megs 4 years ago

I have a jealous n insecure mom, i dnt knw wats in her head heart, she criticize us, telling pipol abt our wrong doings even if theres none,always lying jst to make herself feel good. She nver praise nor say gud things abt us, nver appreciates our efforts being done for her, wats impt to her r the drivers, maids, my two brothers. While us foursisters, we r nothing to her.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 4 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you susanna, for your visit and comment,I'm sorry for your pain but I know your daughter will never feel what you felt because you're showing her so much love right now because you're a great mother. God bless you and your daughter. creativeone59


susanna NY profile image

susanna NY 4 years ago

My mother hurt me a lot growing up. I felt she envied me. She would never even tell me that she loved me! I grew up with such a void for love. God was my mother and my father. Even after everything I still love my mother. Now I'm a mother myself and my daughter hears I love you a billion times a day from me. We are best friends.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 4 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Nt88, I wrote this hub to help young ladies that has a jealousy problem with their mom, because of my daughter inlaw. I always feel sadden when I read the comments of young ladies like you. The best thing I can tell you is to love yourself and your brothers and try to find someone positive to help you live a positive and productive life, because you can't change your mom. You can pray that God change her and bring her to her senses.

Life is to short to sit there and worry about your mom. Do the good things in life that makes you happy. God bless you and your brothers and keep you all safe. creativeone59


Nt88 4 years ago

I have the same problem with my mum. I'm the only girl in da family, n she has never wanted to hear good abt me only bad n act like a mother until she uses n abuses me. I raised all 4of my brothers since 3 I had to be smart and already do mothers work while she was always busy. My dad died us kids found him n she thinks it's nothing to us finding him at a young age till now it's still haunts our minds. She's always hit me put me down broken up my friendships and relationships. She gets jelous of what I have and who I speak to. I'm not aloud to have fun with my bros or spk to family. She always says she hopes I die n she makes out she has cancer n that she's dying just for attention until I buy shopping n she gets wat she wants she goes crazy at me. She kickt me out at 15 I been staying with friends alot now I just turned 23 and she hasn't changed one bit. She calls me very nasty names just because I'm thin and she's really big. She gets jelous over every single thing I have. She calls police on me and my brothers alot an lies to them. She never cooks or cleans all she does is look for someone to marry on the Internet n it's sad coz she doesn't care about us kids but she enjoys turning us against eachother. She's a compulsive liar she's an attention seeker and all bad. I'm always in and out of home coz I knt stand this lifestyle. I tend to cry alot coz it hurts so much loving ur mum but having her like this. She calls my friends acting like she's a teenager n embarrases me. So much things she has done to me. But I suggest any girl that has been thru wat I have is to get the he'll out before u let it destroy urself before she makes u crazy inuff to hurt ur own self and get a job n own house or b with a close mate and live ur life!!!! It's hard but the best thing u can ever do is move forward and not look back. Coz she will never change n I Nva believed when ppl told me but now I do. Sorry for this long boring thread but mothers like that do not deserve daughters like us. They need to be all locked up in a mental home or something coz jealousy is like a disease. N they'll never get rid of it.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 4 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Guest, thank you for your reply, I truly hope that I said something to encourage you not to give up and I know when ever you have children, you will be a fantastic mom, because of how you were treated. God bless and keep you. creativeone59


Guest 4 years ago

Thank you creativeone59. It's because there are women in the world like you that gives me hope. I have met many loving women like you that are wonderful mothers. I hope they don't mind that I try to learn from them. I hope when I have children that I will be able to be a better mom, and trust in my heart that I don't have to continue the chain of what I've experienced. God Bless You! And thank you for responding to my post with such kind words.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 4 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Hi Guest, thank you so much for your visit and your feedback, I'm truly sad because you don't have what you need from your mom. I have read so many sad stories about how some mothers treat their daughters and it hurts my heart to the point that I wish I could be a mother to every daughter thats hurting. I have three daughters and I try to encourage them and back them up on everything because I want them to be happy and to prosper. Pray for your mom to change for the better and for your sake, I hope she does. God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers. creativeone59


Guest 4 years ago

I wish there was more written about this. I think my mother is only happy once she knows that I have problems. She doesn't want to hear about happy things, and always has a "what if" type comment when I tell her happy things. It's not until she has pushed and pulled something out of me that is sad that she seems satisfied. Like all is right in her world because I have a problem. She doesn't even try to fix it, just wants to know it is there to hurt me even when she is not around. She tries to act like my psychologist, I think it just makes her feel smart and superior. But everyone has problems, and usually what didn't even seem like a problem becomes an end of the world problem after talking to her. She is toxic and I think there should be a version of Munchausen by Proxy disease where the perpetrator tries to make the victim mentally ill, not just physically ill. She gets a kick out of 'figuring out' what is wrong with me. But she has never, never, never, taught me anything useful. I asked her one time, Can't you at least tell me what is a good laundry detergent to use? She had no idea what I was talking about and continued to try to 'figure out' what is wrong with me.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Leslie,for your visit and coment and I'm sorry that you are involved in such mother - daughter drama. Maybe you could show her this article and tell her this is how you feel. I hope my article has cast some light on the subject. God bless you. creativeone59


Leslie 5 years ago

Oh my gosh, this is my mother to the max! She is constantly copying me. I wear glasses and she went and bought a pair of frames that look just like mine. I also have a red living room as in couch and chairs, and years later she has been converting to a red living room. We basically have no relationship, but she still tries to be me for some stupid reason. My father raised me growing up which I am thankful for every day. One thing that really bothers me about her, she is the most selfish person I know.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you hurtn1, for your visit and comment. I'm sorry that you have to endure this type of situations, but you can pray and ask God send your mom a revelation to change the outcome of the situations. Also you could get rid of your shopping bags so she want know exactly where you got them. I truly hope things change for the better for you. God bless you. creativeone59


hurtn1 5 years ago

My mother is always in competition with me and it drives me crazy. It's really crazy because one minute she will pretend to be happy for me and then the next moment she wants everything I have and I mean EVERYTHING. If I get a particular outfit or shoes, she will go buy it. If, I bank with a certain bank, she will go bank with them. If, I have a certain phone she goes and purchases the same one or a similar one. It's crazy I feel like I am back in high school. It's like my Mother hates me but she wants to be me in some weird way.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Tina honey, I wish I could change your pain and bad experiences, but I can't I can pray that God bless you to heal and find happiness with someone that will love you and cherish you because deserve it. I also pray that God shows your mother the errors of her ways and that she will treat you as a human being. I pray that you will be heal of your pain soon. God bless you. You are a genine blessing from God and even your mom can't tske that away for you. Hold your head high and be proud of your self. your mom apparently need help. Godspeed. creativeone59


tina 5 years ago

I have a mother like that who has always treated me bad and treated the rest of her children right. She treats me like one of her helps and calls me ugly and that I will suffer for the rest of my life. She physically abuses me hitting me with her shoes and chairs!! She calls relatives and friends and spread lies I mean unfounded lies about me. I have tries to tell her to stop lying about me but she doesn’t am now 30years and she tries to tell me who to see and who not. I know her secret it's because I am the apple of my daddy's eye, she can't stand it. Always when someone treats you bad, treat them with kindness.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Maggie L, for your visit and comment, I appreciate you. I agree with you about the mothers that live their lives through their daughter, but they need to get a life and let their daughters live theirs. I also have three daughters but I'm happy and proud that they have their own life that makes me happy. I feel sorry for the daughters that have to suffer these jealous attacks from their moms. God bless you. creativeone59


Maggie.L profile image

Maggie.L 5 years ago from UK

I like the way you tackled this subject. You've covered it really well and it's true what you say; mothers who are living through their daughters or jealous of every success they have need help to move on and become their own person. I have three daughters and really don't relate to this feeling of jealousy that some mothers experience. I just really want my daughters to achieve more success than myself and experience just as much happiness as I have in life.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you so much quadfatrher, for your visdit and comment ,I appreciate youy. It is sad that things like this happens but it does and we have to find away to get over the hurt abd build our lives up againb by the grace of God. Godspeed. creativeone59


A Quadfather profile image

A Quadfather 5 years ago from .

I have seen what you describe and it is sad if not pathetic. I have 4 daughters and my wife is not at all envious of them. Infact I believe those of us with higher numbers (I have 3 sons as well as a set of quadruplets in the mix) the less vicarious we can be.

It is a most destructive behaviour in terms of the relational aspects to the entire family. Thanks for unwraping this so well.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thankyou gm williams, for your visit and analogy of mothers that is envious of their daughters, it so sad but very true. These women need to grow up and get a life. God bless you. creativeone59


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

To creativeone59: Great hub. You are so right. There are mothers in competition with their daughters. I believe this to be an outgrowth of the sibling psychology. I have discovered that mothers who had siblings, especially if they were the firstborn, are envious of their daughters and want to outshine them. Many firstborn mothers, especially those in large families, did not receive adequate attention from their parents and as a result, transfer all of this negative energy to their daughters. These mothers are usually unhappy and envy their daughters because their daughters have greater opportunities than they have.

Many mothers who grew up in large families are quite envious of their daughters especially if they had only daughters and/or daughters in smaller families. These mothers see the opportunities that their daughters have and say backhanded remarks about them. Many mothers who grew up in large families did not progress economically and educationally in life and are jealous of their daughters who have easier access to education and economic opportunities that the mothers did not have. \

Also, there are mothers who dame from lower socioeconomic backgrounds who are envious of their daughters because they became affluent and successful beyond their wildest dreams. These mothers also would make backhanded comments to their daughters in order to diminish their self-esteem. Many mothers from lower socioeconomic backgrounds would try to sabotage their daughters in terms of educational opportunities in order for them to have the same lower socioeconomic status as they.

Case in point, Michele Duggard. I believe that she is psychotic and is jealous of her daughters. She purposely gets pregnant and keeps her oldest daughters enslaved, looking after HER children in order for them not to have a live of their own. Many mothers who have large families are secretly envious of their daughters and the chances that they have so they force their daughters into chattel slave status in order to prevent them from broadening their horizons.

The characteristics of envious mothers are those who come from poor and/or large families. These women are often unhappy and bitter and they hate to see people more advantageous materially, educationally, and economically than they are. When these women elect to have smaller families, they take out this venom on their daughters because they see their daughters as more advantageous than they were and they hate this. They believe that THEY should have all the advanrages. To reiterate, great hub!


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Sun-GIRL,for your visit and comment, I appreciate you. There appear to be lot of incidents where the mother is jealous or envious of the their daughters and I can't say I understand, because I love my daughters and are so proud of them and would never think of being jealous of them. I have had my time in my youth and now it's their time and we shouldn't begrude them their time. God bless you. creativeone59


Sun-Girl profile image

Sun-Girl 5 years ago from Nigeria

Interesting article you actually shared in here Creativeone,actually am not surprise or will i say this is not my first time of hearing that some mothers are actually jealous of their daughters but what i cant really understand is why must is be so.Am so informed after reading your article and and keeping this one very close to my heart.cheers


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Ashntina, for your visit and comment. You're correct,it is a shame as well as very sad because the mother and daughter miss out closeness and togetherness because of this rift in the relationship. Godspeed. creativeone59


Ashantina profile image

Ashantina 5 years ago

Very unfortunate as to how a mother could be jealous towards her own creativity and creation. Maybe its the freedom youth have, or more opportunities today, or possibly regret... maybe maybe maybe!!! Whatever 'it' is, its a darn shame...


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Anon, thank you for your visit and comment. I agree with you totally, but hhow can itbe fixed, where we don't have so many hurting young ladies. Godspeed. creativeone59


anon 5 years ago

It doesnt seem to make any sense, envy is such a backwards emotion.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you JoJo, for your visit and yourwords of wisdom. It's really sad, when I wrote this hub, I wasn't aware of how bad thhis situation was,until I started get so many comments and it really makes my heart sad to hear what these daughters go through unecessarily. I am grateful to my mother, she never treated us like that, and there were six girls, but I did talk to some young women that had this problem. I thank you for your input. God bless you. creativeone59


ladyjojo profile image

ladyjojo 5 years ago

nice hub. It really exist and is totally pathetic.

I believe the daughter is like a looking glass to the mother whenever she watches her daughter she wished that she was still young and nice. Have all the guys going crazy etc. Watching her daughter let her see her true self how grown she have become she starts to see, wrinkles, stretch marks etc.

When her daughter dresses she just wished that she still look that good.

I know some who even jealous the father's relationship with a child. hmmmmm

Danielle steel brought that jealousy out well in her book called "A Leap of Faith". I tell you that woman destroyed her girl child and marrage because of jealously and it's still prominant today in the real world.

thanks for sharing


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Bear Paw, for your visit and comment. Thank you for your words of wisdom, maybe your information can help someone out there that going the the same hurt and heart break. When I wrote this hub, I didn't know that there was so much of this happening to young ladies. It breaks my heart to know that this is happening so rapidly. God bless you all. creativeone59


Bear Paw 5 years ago

I too can relate to thhe subtle passive aggressive type of competition that these other young women have mentioned. In this instance the issue lies with body image, and shape. A young girls body is totally different from her older mother. Constant body comparisons and the need to compete in diet and even physical activities is a problem. The problem worsens when the demands of that physical activity start to cause visible body aches with the mother given age limitations. Issue two, not wanting the daughter to leave home and marry so she can be her mothers companion.

The relationship is gradually strained and becomes abrasive and can result in avoidance and tension. There is also another extension as the daughter may be unable to relate to older females or women and may herself develop a negative framework of women that should serve as role models and mentors. She may avoid older females for fear of the same envious and competitive destructive components which bring watchfulness and at its worst 'cat fights.' The feeling of one noy being encouraged in the natural developmental stages of life, dating, marriage childbearing, home and family acquisition by the parent who also experienced such joys and moments (regardless of eventual outcome) is quite painful, each woman deserves to enjoy her youth, love marry and birth children, experience independence or matrimonial union away from her nucleus family just as her parents, mother, grandmother and greatgrandmother did..... Afetr all each geenration will have more than the next, our mothers proably had more than her mother did with the advent of black and white television at the time and so on.... Generational advancement and increased opportunity is no excuse nor is the fear of aging or loneliness for this type of destructive competition. I think a great solution is healthy age and peer associations in which seniors can socialize with their peers and young adults with their peers as intermixing of the generational gaps often result in the topic at hand. The issue becomes exacerbated when there is sexual and other competition for boyfriends real or implied. When young adult women are forced for financial or other reasons to live at home this can become an issue. The damage this does to the relationship is sometimes irrepairable. But in time the obvious becomes obvious. It does not mater whether or not you want others to say you look younger or prettier than your daughter, or you think you have an advantage in any form, your daughter is factuaaly your daughter, two or three generations apart and will not arrive at monopause before you do. Allow her to enjoy her body, marriage, and young adulthoood just like you did.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Hi Sima, I'm sorry that you're in so much pain and I pray that God will free you from your pain and let you feel the love and understaanding that you need right now. I pray that God open up your parents eyes to the pain that you're feeling and help them try to understand what you're feeling and try to fix the prolblem. Sima Keep praying for yourself and pray for your parent and ask God to show them the errors of their way. I pray that God bless you with love, peace and understanding. Godspeed and much love; I feel your pain. creativeone59


sima 5 years ago

I'm grateful for your article creativeone59 alone and also for the comments that your article has generated. I have to deal with a mother AND a father that where more like jealous, envious older brothers and sisters to me growing up. They actually go so far as to sabotage their offspring (and with my mother, other people in our families marital relationships--that's why a husband and wife should discuss their problems with each other...NOT with other family members, friends, coworkers, and DEFINITELY not people other people of the opposite sex. But that's an entirely different issue, LOL! :-)

But yeah, this is a true, and SICK phenomenon that goes to many different sick, and disgusting levels of depravity. There TRULY are people who can NOT SLEEP, lest they make some others fall. I hope that you will pray for me, creativeone59, and any other to the Almighty God, Jesus Christ, to take away the anger, bitterness, and hints of unforgivness in my spirit, and that Jesus the Christ, will set me free from this bondage of having perverted, devilish parents. And that He will work ALL things together for good for ALL are oppressed by evil men (and women) who lie in wait, and who seek to steal, kill, and destroy.

Also, please pray that I WILL overcome THROUGH Christ, and that Christ will be my everything, and that I will not CARE what man (or woman) may do to me.

Please pray this for me fellow believers in Christ being the Holy ONE of God, and please pray those same prayers for all who are suffering on this hub and wherever in the world they may be!

Thanks creativeone59, and to you and ALL good mothers and fathers, for me at least, it feels SO good to see the genuine love between siblings or parents and their children, so maybe there are others that witness your love, and it helps them too! God bless you, you've blessed others!


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you gracemalley, for your visit and comment, I believe what you say to be true and I also feel the same ab out my daughters. I love them and want them happy. Godspeed. creativeone59


graceomalley profile image

graceomalley 5 years ago

I think in parenting you can go two ways: parent & child pulling together, or parent & child against each other. My opinion, this is the parent's choice. The parent sets the tone for the relationship. I also have a daughter, and her success is my success.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

My dear Chris, your words almost brought me to tears, my heart is aching for you and your heart break, I wish I could fix the problem with you and your mother,but the only thing that I can do is pray for God to change her, it's sad that she doesn't know how bless she is to have a sweet loving daughter like you, to love her unconditionally. Pray that God will fix your moms heart so you can feel the love you need from her. Chris you can always talk to me, I give you a standing invitation, if you need to talk. God bless you Chris. creativeone59


Cris 6 years ago

Thank you creativeone59 for almost making me cry :') your feelings for your children are beautiful and endearing, I wish I could have a mother like you. I'm recently 22 and I've been getting so much heartache from my relationship with my mother for many years. It's been incredibly hurtful and damaging to me as a person and it even took me psychological therapy just to be able to accept my mothers feelings about me. I still can't understand them (how can she constantly act like she hates her own daughter that loves her and wants nothing but happiness for her?), but finally i've had to accept that I can't change her, no matter how much I want to. No matter how much I try to be a wonderful daughter and do ANYTHING to please her. She used to ask me to do ridiculous things for her, things that would take her 2seconds to do but for me 4 or more hours. I used to go back and forth to fulfill every single one of her requests, no matter how damaging they would be for me and for my life. She would never appreciate anything I'd do, and on a daily basis I'd be feeling frustrated, lonely and unloved. Even though I've learnt how to deal with it better, today my mother still breaks my heart. I noticed everytime I would be visibly happy in front of her she'd turn into a bitchy mood and wouldn't stop saying and doing things to make me sad. So when I am with her I don't look happy or even pleased, and I don't tell her anything good that happens to me. I have to be unhappy when I'm with her. It's incredibly hurtful.

Thank you again, for your words and your time, you look like a wonderful woman and mother, just like I want (and will!) be for my children one day.


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creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Rastamermaid,for your visit and comment, there are women that are envious of their daughters, I have seen it first hand,and it's sad, but true. I didn't have that problem with my mother, or my girls didn't have that problem with me, because I love my three daughters and want them happy and content and I'm very proud of them. Godspeed. creativeone59


Rastamermaid profile image

Rastamermaid 6 years ago from Universe

WOW!

This is a very deep issue. I'm sure we've all felt this way about our Moms at one time or another.

But I don't think it's really envy or jealousy from the Mom towards the daughter as it is towards the times.

The time now is alot easier for women than it was back in the day.

We have more opportunites,more resources,more benefits to education and other areas.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're some situations like this and you know exactly what you're feeling.

But ask yourself is it really you,or does she wish she just had more time in a easier era.

It saddens my heart to think that a Mom could be jealous of her own daugther,glad I only have a son!

Blessings!


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Valzhane, for your visit and coming forward to let others know about your experience with your mother's jealousy and letting them know how to protect yourself from being monopolized by your mother. Thank you for sahring your experience. I appreciate you. Keep the faioth, keep praying and keep your head to the sky, because God loves you. cfreativeone59


Valzhane 6 years ago

Interesting article! I'm a daughter who has experienced a mother's envy and though your article is on point, the damage is much deeper. Imagine this- your mother is the person who should have your back when the world is against you, but her invidious spirit would rather see you fail as oppose to having something that she does not have, whether that "something" is tangible or intangible. 

My mom graduated from college, and knowing her story, her struggles, I was so proud of her. I approached her with flowers and gave her a congratulatory hug. As she hugged me back, instead of saying "thank you," she said, "now when are you going to do it." To me, that came from a place of "now I have something that you don't." I didn't respond at all but I have yet to understand why that thought was at the forefront of her mind on such an important day for her. 

As I said at the beginning, the damage is much deeper, and the sad part is - it NEVER ends. For those reading, if you are a daughter who is experiencing this, understand that it's not your fault or your problem. Don't be a prisoner of your mother's issues. Seek professional help for yourself, if you need it, and continue to prosper!


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creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Leyla, for your visit, my heart hurt for you, because you have suffered such pain form your mother, I truly wish I could tell her what you're feeling and make her understand, how much you just need her love and understanding. Tell your mom to read this hub and then you pray that God touches her heart and take away the jealousy that's keeping you two apart. Ask God to mend you and your moms relationsip in the name of Jesus Christ. If you ever need to talk, I"m here. God bless you and keep you in his care. creativeone59


Leyla 6 years ago

Well my mum's like that too; jealous. She's a very emotional one though and she hides it very well. She will never ever admit it. I was researching her ways on net and came across this and one other article. It's true there's mum's like that and I have one. It's wrong and very sad. Sadder thing is she won't even stop. She hates me wearing nice clothes and making friends. She hates me being complimented and enjoying a day. As though she'd be happy for me I called her one day to tell her I've been to a nice place for the weekend and It was so relaxing and nice and so on.... she did not say one thing nice and mumbled with negativity like I did somthing wrong... her response was well next time I should go there too.... She's like a bi**y woman trying to compete. I'm always thin and she wants me to put on weight and when I do she tells everyone I've put on weight behind my back. She has never told me I'm beautiful or complimented on my looks or anything. If she heard a guy being interested she would hate it.... she does the silent protest like I sinned or somthing... I wish I had a normal mother... I can honestly say she has ruined parts of my life.... Her ways are manipulative like she's also very helpful and emotional. She'll use emotions to get attention. She cries alot. I cry for her because I don't like seeing my mum unhappy but it all ruined my life. Times I think maybe I was meant to be here for her only because I'm no good to anyone anymore with these thoughts. It's the other side of me that makes me go crazy...Her deliberately putting me down and competing who does that as a mother?


Woman Of Courage profile image

Woman Of Courage 6 years ago

What a great and meaningful hub. I agree that no mother should be jealous of their own daughter. It is not normal, and it leaves the child confused.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you pmccray, I think you're correct in your assumptions. Thank you for your comment and feedback. Godspeed. creativceone59


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creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Micky, we all have our days but when we realize what's important, we get back on the right track of life. Thank you dear, for your comment and feedback. God bless. creativeone59


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Always Exploring, I know it seem, silly for mothers to be jealous or evious of their daughters, but apparently it really happens, I have met young women to prove, but it such a lost for both mother and daughter. Thank you for your comment and feedback. creativeone59


pmccray profile image

pmccray 6 years ago from Utah

Awesome hub! I feel that you are so correct in the fact that this is truly a sickness among some women that call themselves mothers.

This is reflected in the onslaught of reality TV shows regarding little toddler girls on the pageant circuit. These so called mothers are self centered, egotistical trying to live their past youth through their child.

Excellent subject matter.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

I'm certain I could not envy another person. Oh, I'll take that back in that sure, things have been rough at times, and yes, I've at least been disenchanted with "my position". But- in the long run- we can't say what will ultimately be better. The last will be first. The first will be last.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Audrey, I can tell you are a wonderful, loving mom, who totally treasure your children, especially your daughter. Thank you for your comment and feedback. Godspeed. creativeone59


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

Good advice is right, Faye. I just treasure my daughter because she was a surprise and she is such a GIFT. I am in awe of her! I never am jealous though because I just stare at her in wonderment (at 30 years old mind you - hello - she's been here a while) and I'm thinking 'how did I get so lucky?' All my kids are wonderful - my 2 boys are treasures each in their own ways - but Kate - wow! I'm glad I don't have to rethink my life and get one though! Good advice!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

Good advice,

I can,t imagine a mother being jealous of a daughter, but

i,m sure it happens. I always wanted a daughter, all my sisters have daughters and they are such good friends, i

watch them sometimes and wish.

Cheers and God bless u and family


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Oh, Cassandra, dear heart, I'm so sorry, I wish I could make it better for you, my dear. I'm a mom that love her children so much and want the best for them, which means to let them grow and be themsleves and not try to live their lives for them.Every child should be allowed to live their lives like us. Thank you for your comment and feedback. Godspeed. creativeone59


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creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you Veronica, you made a valid point, but I guess there are mothers out there that has their own insecurities to deal with. Thank you for your comment and feedback. Godspeed. creativeone59


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

You're right Hello, but if the mothers remember their places,they can help thei daughters grow with confidence, instead of insecurities. Thank you for your comment and feedback. Godspeed. creativeone59


Cassandra Lai profile image

Cassandra Lai 6 years ago from Klang

This is so touching for me, I wish my mother have the same godly characters like you. I wish my mother can be protective and forgiven. Dear, You have said it right, we should be proud and be supportive of our daughters effort and not be an enemy toward your own daughter who mean well for her mother. There is a story behind me which is so hurtful whenever I taught about my mother, I felt like crying but she just could not accept me as I am.


Veronica Allen profile image

Veronica Allen 6 years ago from Georgia

Good advice creativeone. I don't understand this myself. When you think of a mother, you automatically think of them being proud of their children, not in competition with them.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

Well written advice. You really put it perfectly. I think mothers like that just can't stand back and realize that they have to step a bit back.

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