Raising Children

How to inculcate values in our children

This is an issue, which has been the area of concern for most parents as their children grow up. It is definitely painful to see the transformation of beautiful, innocent and angel-like infants into rude, incorrigible and (sometimes) irresponsible teenagers and then finally into unruly and dogmatic young adults. Why do most of us get bogged down by a simple resolvable problem like this one? We get so much worked up, at times, that we almost give up trying to change things for the better. Again, not all children project behavioral patterns which can be termed as 'unacceptable' as per our social norms. Then what is that primary reason which results in setting one child apart from the other? Where does the difference creep in and when do we finally get to realize it? Possibly, when it is too late to take control of the situation. As I have mentioned in my forthcoming book (from the desk of a daughter), that giving birth to a baby may be the simplest and a natural biological function of a human being, but carving out a prodigy out of that newborn, is perhaps the biggest challenge faced by many of us, in the tumultuous world of today.

Express love in words or gestures but do it!
Express love in words or gestures but do it!

Power of Love

We sometimes get so much embroiled in the daily rut, which includes taking care of our personal needs and household expenses, that we tend to neglect the demands (primarily emotional) of our children. We keep telling ourselves that ultimately they are the ones who are going to be benefited by our hard work but hardly do we realize that what they need today cannot be postponed till day after.They keep looking at us with quiet and wishful eyes when they see us engrossed in our files, our kitchen work or those long phone conversations (official / unofficial). They silently wish that we pay heed to their small problems (big for them, though), get involved in their daily school projects, help them combat a bully in the school or as simply as watching TV with them in the evening.

In one of my casual conversations with an acquaintance, I was somewhat disappointed to hear what the person sitting across me, at a coffee table, had to say about her involvement with her child. "What is there to think about?" She said. "I took care of myself when I was in school and college and I expect the same from my little girl. I want her to learn things herself, the way I did. What's the big deal?" Although, I didn't respond to her remark because even if I had, she would not have understood. She couldn't be blamed for what she was; I attributed her attitude to her bringing up. I could see why she had grown into a callous, arrogant, spiteful and 'I-give-a-damn attitude' woman. It all depends what you nurture your child with. If you shower your unconditional and selfless love on the little sapling, it is undoubtedly going to grow into a strong, fruit-laden and deep rooted tree with branches of love and compassion, swaying in the air of eternal happiness and spiritual bliss. Imagine how beautiful such a tree would look; not to talk of the shade and protection it will offer you in your old age.

We have always been listening to things like..'faith can move mountains' but I say 'Love can do the same thing and with greater intensity'. It is the power of love which gives an average woman, an unbelievable strength to lift the back of her truck single handedly, to save her child caught up in the rear wheels. Amazing as it sounds, it is a fact. We used to quote such examples (of real incidents) in our law school.

We don't really have to do anything additional or special for inculcating values in our children. 'Love' does the job on its own. It warms the tender heart of a child and opens his mind to whatever good you want to infuse in him. It's as simple as that. Too good to be true? No it isn't. It just needs a bit of sacrifice from the parents, in terms of their time and personal desires. The results follow.

Th simple principle which most of us forget, when we are young and energetic, (when bringing up a baby seems to be more of a responsibility than a passion) is that 'they are going to be there for you when you need them tomorrow...if you are there for them, today.'

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Inculcating values in children

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Comments 34 comments

countrywomen profile image

countrywomen 7 years ago from Washington, USA

Anjali- I will only speak for myself (and I am not a "prodigy" yet). But I was showered with lots of love from my parents. This is a nice hub and hopefully the "Stranger" likes this hub....hehe


allshookup profile image

allshookup 7 years ago from The South, United States

This is a great hub. We, as parents, are resonsible for instilling values in our children. If we don't the world will. I really believe that parents not being parents are why prisons are full today. To have well-adjusted children, we have to step up as parents and be the examples they need and show the love they deserve. Children learn what they live. Good hub.


Laila Rajaratnam profile image

Laila Rajaratnam 7 years ago from India

Anjali..an amazing wonderful hub!It is so so so very true!It is definitely painful and sometimes traumatic as well to see the transformation of beautiful, innocent and angel-like infants.Not a single day passes,when I wish that they are still small,following me around like puppies:)Tho'I was a stay at home mom,I still sometimes wonder whether I should have spent more time with them and enjoyed them more!Maybe ,when I have grandchildren ,I'll fell better..:)

Anjali,you have so much indepth in your writings and thoughts..I'm glad I too met you here!:)


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York Author

countrywomen: It's always a pleasure to have you back. Who says you are not a prodigy. Well, you are. I agree that your perception (healthy) towards life is largely attributable to the love and support offered to you by your parents. You are the 'dividend' for their 'investment'. Good luck!

allshookup: You are absolutely right. It's mainly a twisted childhood which gives birth to a criminal. If we want to have a world full of good people, we have to make our contribution as parents. Nice having you here. Keep coming.

Laila Rajaratnam: Please don't blame yourself. Sometimes we become the victims of our own created situations. That's human. When your children have their own kids, they will realize how challenging it must have been for you bringing them up when they were young. That's the time they will again come closer to you and appreciate all that you did for them. I'm sure you already know this. I feel connected to you as I'm replying to your post. Thx for appreciating.


allshookup profile image

allshookup 7 years ago from The South, United States

You're welcome. Thank you for visiting my hubs too :)


STRANGER 7 years ago

Finally a thoughtful write up towards the meaningful issue which forces all to wait and think what they r doing for their successors. Appreciable & Constructive.

COUNTRYWOMEN: STRANGER likes all the positive thoughtful things.


countrywomen profile image

countrywomen 7 years ago from Washington, USA

Anjali- I meant like a child prodigy in music or arts anything like that. Just leading a normal existence so far nothing special about me. But you are right I had a wonderful investment of love from my parents but still yet to give the dividends to my parents (for them it would be when they become grandparents)...LOL

Stranger- Why don't you join hubpages since you have so much to share. Although my life has been very good so far but not everyone has similar positive experiences all the time. I believe being positive is to be positive of others even when others aren't so positive because of their not so positive experiences around their lives. Hence some latitude can be given to others who haven't had similar positive experiences around them.


Laila Rajaratnam profile image

Laila Rajaratnam 7 years ago from India

LOL..CW,I liked your tougue twister about being postive..LOL.And,yes,you better give dividends to your parents soon..:)..it will be wonderful for them.I think its a stage in life,all parents do look forward to..:)


countrywomen profile image

countrywomen 7 years ago from Washington, USA

Laila- Dividends would have to wait for a while(now I am talking to my eager mom)....LOL


STRANGER 7 years ago

CW: I agree wht u hv said but u know nowadays life has itself become so negative, stressful and difficult that when I see such depressing write ups then things becomes undigestable for me. While I was surfing just for destressing myself , suddenly these two (first about past regretful decision and second abt suppression of women) write ups appear before me and made me upset and forced me to write.

Otherwise I prefer to remain quite and believe me I m a silent websurfer. That is why I hv never joined any hub/blog whatever.I hv also suffered a lot in my life but I never allow circumstances to rule over me. As u also said "Control the situation before situation controls u".My motto is only to spread as much positivity as I can in my lifespan.

You are the blessed one who is going to pay dividends to her already blessed parents very soon.I wish u all the luck in your life and forthcoming events.


guidebaba profile image

guidebaba 7 years ago from India

Thunbs up for your Anju. Nice to read this article from an experienced lady. You could have splitted the text into differend headings by using more text capsules. A couple of pictures should be good.


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York Author

Guidebaba: I know you are right but I guess I have to take your help in formatting / page lay out issues. I'm really not good at it. A few tips would really be welcome. I need help about: 1. splitting text 2. sometimes affliate products don't show up on my site 3. how to arrange hubs on the 'profile' page. I tried with FAQ's but I couldn't do it properly. Can u help me?


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

Great hub, but I thought it was about food since you said on my hub you were writing about food. Oh well, very interesting hub though.


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York Author

SweetiePie: I offered a small tip for 'soggy' issue, but honey, I didn't say my hub was about food. Lol. It doesn't matter as long as I keep seeing your pretty profile pic on my page. Thx


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

The reason I thought it was about food was because of the link. Usually it is best not to include a link to our own hubs unless the hubbers it okay with that. I am okay with it because I think you are a nice person, but it comes across as slighlty promotional. As a rule I do not put my links on other people's hubs unless they ask me to. You are so sweet and kind, so I just wanted to share this. Please do not be upset with me saying so.


guidebaba profile image

guidebaba 7 years ago from India

Here you are:1. Draft your content in MS Word before posting here. Divide the text into different paragraphs with different headings (In MS Word).

2. Return back to Hubpages. Copy the first paragraph from word and paste it in the first TEXT Capsule (Heading on top).

3. Remove the Photo and Comments capsule (By clicking on the X )4. ADD More text capsules (Select from the right TOP Corner).

5. Add Heading and content to this new Text Capsule.6. Repeat Steps 4 and 5 the number of times required.7. Add a Photo capsule. Shift it to the right of the Text Capsule (Use the arrows at the top corners of all the capsules)8. Always keep the Photos, ebay, amazon, video capsules on the right. (As Far as possible)9. For specific Products from ebay and Amazon, use Keuwords. Type your Keyword in the space provided in ebay and amazon. For e.g if your hub is about Nikon D80, Type the keyword "Nikon D80" and so on. Look at my Hub of Five Best Stereo Headphones.10. Arranging Hubs on Profile page: Draft your content in MS Word. Write whaever your what. Provide links to your Hubs. Do you know how to ling text in MS Word? Select the part of the text >> Right Click >>> Huperlink >>> Type or paste the URL of your Hub. Copy the whole text and paste it on your profile page while Editing.Any Other Question?

Say Cheese!!!


Greatlife profile image

Greatlife 7 years ago

Hello anju, I have been a silent reader for all the three posts you made. It is interesting to see how people have different perceptions of a beautiful life that God has given us. kudos on all the hubs, Well i have waited for 4 long years to have a kid of my own and i wanted it more than anything in my life. Now that i have one, nothing matters more to me than her beautiful smile and her loving me back. I m not sure if she will do that for say after 20 years, i know i gave her my best and i believe my upbriniging will never let me down. Have good faith and believe that good things happen to doog people. Again i dont deny there wont be struggle i have had anything the hard way so i never forget the lesson the bad memory thaught me it will only make you stronger..

I leave wishing you good health and a happy new year ahead..


ReuVera profile image

ReuVera 7 years ago from USA

Everything starts in the childhood. Your Childhood makes the draft for the rest of your life. Children need our love and attention. You don’t have to lecture them to teach good values. They will take values naturally from the way you live. The more time, love and attention parents invest in their children while children are growing up, the better harvest will come later. The best advise for parents- show your love to your kids. Don’t try to be tough with them. Hug them, play with them. MAKE THEM LAUGH! It will work later.

Thanks for a great hub!


Lgali profile image

Lgali 7 years ago

I like this comments from ReuVera

The best advise for parents- show your love to your kids.


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York Author

SweetiePie: I'm sorry if it looked promotional. I had no intentions of doing that. I just wanted to make it easier for you to go to my hub with one click. I've noted it for future, though. There are so many other things which I have to learn about hubbing. Thx for your support. Tell me if the grill thing works for your 'veggie'.

Guidebaba: Thx very much for making so much effort. I've noted all the points and will try those in my free time. Now at least I know whom to ask in case of any web related problems. Thx again.

Greatlife: I somehow know that you would prove to be an excellent parent. My love & blessings for your daughter. 'Take care of pennies and pounds will take care of you!' We have heard this so many times and trust me, it's not wrong. You know what you have to do. I work on my instincts and as such I can read between the lines (you wrote for me). You are a good human being and that's all you need to be. Have a great year ahead!

ReuVera: I completely agree. I know you have been fully involved with your son since the time he was a baby. Hats off to mothers like you!

Lgali Thx for visiting. I'm glad that all of us are on the same page, regarding this issue.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

I will let countrywomen know about the grilling process because I think she was the one who was interested in less soggy sandwiches. Great tip and I am sure many other people could benefit from it. Actually I think it might make an initeresting hub for you to write :).


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York Author

That's a good idea but I'm not very innovative with cuisine. LOL! Why don't you do it? I would love to contribute (off the record!) Possibly this is my last post......

....hey....don't get ideas. It's the end of year. Will meet in next year now.

Have a wonderful & a great year ahead!


2patricias profile image

2patricias 7 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

Wonderful hub! We should all show our love to our children - but part of love is setting clear boundaries, and leading by (good) example.

Happy New Year.


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York Author

2patricias: Very right! Boundaries have to be set. No compromise here. Thx for visiting.


cgull8m profile image

cgull8m 7 years ago from North Carolina

Good one, it starts with parents, to be honest the real supporters for the child is only their parents, others come and go, but they are there always. Without their help it is tough for a child to survive. The child may learn otherwise but it starts with parents. Here is a video every parent should watch. You can add it here also. Cheers :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJF50kwwRJE


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York Author

cgull8m: Thx again for being supportive. Education begins at home (as they say) and it starts from the parents (this is my add on ..LOL). Video was excellent. Thx


cgull8m profile image

cgull8m 7 years ago from North Carolina

Thanks Anjali be the same. Cheers Chris :)


karan.alien profile image

karan.alien 7 years ago

Excellent Article, as alwayzzzzz!!!


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York Author

Karan: Thx very much. I am glad you liked it. Keep coming back.


my-success-guru profile image

my-success-guru 7 years ago from Upstate NY

Hi Anjali,

I really love all of your amazing Hubs. I am grateful to you for deeply enriching my life. I love how you get right to the core issue with this Hub by identifying (love) as the most powerful tool for inculcating values in our children. I also love your analogy which demonstrates this point eloquently and beautifully.

" If you shower your unconditional and selfless love on the little sapling, it is undoubtedly going to grow into a strong, fruit-laden and deep rooted tree with branches of love and compassion, swaying in the air of eternal happiness and spiritual bliss. Imagine how beautiful such a tree would look; not to talk of the shade and protection it will offer you in your old age."


Deborah Sexton 6 years ago

Wonderful hub.

People create monsters then complain about them.

My child is so precious to me and I will always stand by him. and help him in life on every level. Children are great gifts.


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 6 years ago from New York Author

Hi Deborah: Like you I too consider my child a gift of God and he surely is precious to me. My life revolves around him. No claims about future but I hope that my unconditional love helps him turn into a well groomed adult. Thx for being a part of this hub.


NickSimpson profile image

NickSimpson 6 years ago from Jacksonville, Illinois

Love your work here and I have been poking around on some of your other hubs. You really have some well organized and helpful info on hubpages.

Thanks for sharing,

Nick


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 6 years ago from New York Author

Nick Simpson: Thanks very much for your wonderful words. Its so encouraging. Thx.

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