That is a very difficult question to answer. My daughter and I have a pretty good relationship. Its been that way most of her life. When she turned 11 years old she tried to push me out of her life but I refused to let that happen. I refused to lose her to the problems of growing up.
Suddenly at 11 years old, she did not like me asking her questions about anything. One day I looked her in the eye and said you will answer me when I ask you questions. I insisted that she answer me honestly whenever I asked about something. I firmly reminded her that I would not let her leave my presence until her answers made sense. When she realized I meant business, she started telling me every thing about her life from that day forward.
After that, whenever her friends had problems, she sent them to me for advice. I guess that made me cool. She is now a mother at age 40. We still have a pretty good relationship. I was not trying to be cool. I was trying not to lose my daughter through non communication and secrets.