Do you have any suggestions on helping my teenage son with the loss of his dad?
He recently started seeing a psychologist. However, I was wondering if there is something more I can do to help him.
My thought would be to bring out the Bible and read John 11:11-14 where it talks about death as a deep sleep. I found this link for you where it has all excerpts in the Bible. That may help some Sorry for the loss
http://www.bibleinfo.com/en/content/wha … y-about-it
Unfortunately no. This is a loss that will only heal with time. Professional grief counseling would probably be a good idea. Keep the good memories alive and if there were any special things his dad did with him (like fishing,etc) make sure you create opportunities for those things to continue in his fathers memory. Either you carry out those activities yourself or have an uncle or friend. If you know soneone who went through something similar as a teen have them talk to your son because someone who understands what he is going through can probably help him the most. Some grief counselingis done in groups for thatreason. Watch your son carefully for changes in behavior and talk to him if anything concerns you. Take care of yourself so you can support your son.
I don't know anything about being a teenage boy who has lost their father, but I know an awful lot about being a teenage girl who lost their mom; and I remember how more than anything I hated it when people would say to me, "I know how you feel, I lost my...(fill in the blank with someone other than mother)" I remember how I hated feeling different, (what teenager wants to feel different?), and I remember how I just desperately wanted to be heard; so the best advice that I can give to you is to remain open and honest, be sympathetic, but don't offer pity, don't treat him with kid gloves, try to keep things as normal as possible, and be available to listen when and if he wants to talk. Reassure him, that in time it will get better, but be realistic, this isn't something that he is going to get over, losing a parent is life changing, and now his life is forever changed. In time the sting will lessen, but he will have moments, some big and some small that will bring it all back. Encourage him to find a positive outlet, (mine was writing), and allow him to go through the stages of grief at his own pace. Try not to worry too much. It isn't much as far as advice goes, but I do hope that it helps.
First, I am sorry for your loss.
This is a tough one. My daughter lost her dad when she was 5 five years old and she has a book that we all wrote letters in and included memories of some of the things they did together to help keep his memory. the book for was given to her so she can read the letters, the memories and add her own.
She's 17 now and she writes letters to him telling him about what's going on in her life. That seems to help her. My daughter found it harder when she became a teenager so I can't imagine how hard this must be for your son.
Contact a local church or hospital to see if they have a grief counseling group for teenagers. If they don't ask your son if he would like to start one. It might do him good to have other children his age to relate to and talk to.
And, how about you, how are you doing? My prayers go to you both because I have been where you are and know that this must be just as hard for you.
Hugs!
My daughter is just a child but I have done a lot of reading about it in efforts to have her heal. Giving him the opportunity to express himself either to you or to another is the ultimate goal. Young men may feel they have to keep a stiff upper lip in order to take care of the family. If there was a close uncle or someone who has plenty of stories about his dad that is willing to spend some time with him, you can send him hiking or nature walking with that person.
Getting back to nature was important in both my daughter and my healing. It was away from the world around us. It was like a mental break from reality and we could choose to think or finally stop thinking if we wanted to. Sometimes it is good just to be still.
Perhaps look for an aggressive outlet for him. This can be a benefit when dealing with extreme emotion. I would recommend something that keeps him connected with others like martial arts tho a simple gym membership would be good to blow off some steam.
Good luck and many blessings
Talk to your son, not at your son. Don't tell him you know how he feels, you only know how you feel. Talk with your son about his dad, don't allow silences to appear between you. If he wants to talk to someone other than you, do not be hurt he is simply expressing a little independence.
Lastly don't keep asking him questions, he hasn't got the answers yet, give him space.
I wish you all you wish yourself.
Graham.
Dear Cindi
I read your hub "Dear John, We Love You And It's Okay" and it is easy to see that John's death would have a very big impact on you and all of your family as he was a very special man.
Has Johnny read this hub? Does he know how you feel or are you too busy trying to hide your grief from him because you think you need to be strong for him? Whilst your grief will be different from your son's, as you have lost your husband and your knight in shining armor you are both hurting inside.
Have you thought about trying to help Johnny write a hub about his Dad. It doesn't have to ever be published.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and all of your family.
Amber:)
by Danielle McGaw 12 years ago
Do you talk to your teenage boys about sex and the consequences of possible parenthood?Many of us talk to our daughters about this but how many are talking to our boys about it? My daughter was pregnant at 16 and the father was a 15 year old boy who had very little parenting. As a...
by Eric Newland 12 years ago
Tips for dealing with stress as a parent?My daughter has strep throat, on top of some upheaval at work and a lot of other crap going in in my life. I find myself on edge an being sucked into pointless forum fisticuffs in spite of myself.How do you beat stress when getting away from it all is out of...
by kallini2010 7 years ago
What do you do when your teenage child tells you "I hate you!"?If there is one phrase to make parents to fly off the handle it is this one "I hate you!", but there is whole repertoire of very effective combat starters like "You're ruining my life!", "I am sorry I...
by David Livermore 10 years ago
How should I communicate with my dad after my mother's death?My dad and I weren't really close. We talked, got along, talked about sports, etc. But I was always closer to my mother. When my mother passed away last year, it left a noticeable gap there. I don't know what to...
by Cindy Lawson 9 years ago
Is it okay to allow your teenage daughter to sleep over with her boyfriend in your house?Would you allow your teenage daughter to bring her boyfriend back to your house to stay overnight with her?
by Ken McGonigal 5 months ago
What do you do if your teenager refuses to come home?My son is 16 years old. He does not like our rules. Now he is refusing to come home.
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |