I always tell my mother I love her, including everytime we speak on the phone. My mother is 84 years old and underwent open-heart, bypass surgery this past year. I stayed with her in ICU while she was in recovery. It was terrifying, as my mom developed, what the ICU nurses termed "pump head", which is a reaction to the time on the bypass machine. She thought she was at home and I had to keep telling her that she could not get out of bed as she was catherized. She would say o.k. and 2 seconds later tell me she was going to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She kept asking me why her home looked so different. As nightfall came and the lighting in the room changed, this side effect (known as "sundowners) became more pronounced. This effect can remain permanent. Since my mother is a very private person and would not do well in assisted living, I was grateful that she regained normalcy and is able to continue living independently within her own home. My father's sudden death, nine years ago, traumatized my mother, and she remains stressed, lonely for him and has lost any joy in life.
I would love to live with my mother, who owns a home, as I could do all the things that she no longer can, but continues to stress her. However, she seems to prefer living alone. I have a beloved Scottish Terrier, who is my loyal companion. My mom says she doesn't want the dog living in her home. SInce it is HER home, and I am unwilling to discard the one living being that has "been there" for me through thick and thin, I do the best I can. I was a victim of the economy and was laid off on May 20, 2010, two weeks after finalizing a divorce. I was in the process of moving into an apt and suddenly had not a friend in sight to help me. The fact that my dog "needed me", ultimately, saved me.
I love my mother and will always abide by her wishes. Since she is blessed to remain independent and wishes to live alone, I help her in every way she needs and allows.