Were we right asking him to leave?

1. 60

   katkinposted 11 years ago

   Were we right asking him to leave?
   
   
   Our daughter,22,and her 28 year old boyfriend were living us while they 'saved' and one evening last week (after he 'accidently' nearly broke her nose)he became rude and abusive to both my husband and I.We asked him to leave and he became abusive again at whch point we called the police.Our daughter felt we were over reacting and went with him. They returned to the house three days later,to collect the rest of their belongings,when we turned up our daughter became rude and he was intimidating to the point where we had to call the police again.
   Did we do the right thing?

   replyreport
2. 60

   aspiretoinspireposted 11 years ago

   In my opinion you did the right thing. You shouldn't feel threatened in your own home. Hope your daughter's okay.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      katkinposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you - we hope she's ok too, we don't know where she is,but we have let her know that SHE can come home if he is violent towards her at anytime.

      replyreport
3. 84

   arksysposted 11 years ago

   everyone has a different threshold to violence ... she might be used to seeing worse than how he behaved which is why she thinks you are over reacting. you did what you thought was right to save yourself from abuse/intimidation etc... its natural to seek help when you don't think you can manage. calling the police makes it unhealthy for the relationship you have with your daughter though ... it would have been better to call in close friends or relatives you felt could help... if there was no one you think could help then you did the right thing.
   
   this is just my opinion... i wasn't there so i don't know what exactly happened and how intense the situation was... only you can be the judge of that. Also remember that repeating an instance in your mind inflates it into something that did not happen ... so take a step back and analyze the situation again yourself.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      katkinposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      My husband and I have both tried to take a step back and we do feel we had no choice other than to do what we did. I understand how calling the police has damaged our relationship with her but her boyfriend was out of control - he would not listen.

      replyreport
   2. 84

      arksysposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      then you certainly made the right decision... the only concerning factor would be your daughter and the tainted relationship you have with her... i hope things work out between you guys.

      replyreport
4. 81

   Seeker7posted 11 years ago

   You definately did the right thing!
   
   No one has the right to abuse you either physically or verbally anywhere and especially in your own home! I feel heart sorry for your daughter as she has obviously picked a nasty specimen for a boyfriend. But she is a consenting adult and if your daughter and her boyfriend are both of the belief that it's okay to assault one another as well as other people then they deserve each other, but you and your husband don't! Keep your doors firmly bolted and your house out of bounds until both of them learn some manners and how to show respect to others. It's not much to ask for in your own home.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      katkinposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much. I know she is a consenting adult but she was NEVER brought up with violence or abuse.I find it hard to think of how she has changed since she has been with him. I only hope she comes to her senses.

      replyreport
   2. 81

      Seeker7posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hi, its often the case that when someone thinks they love another person, then they follow them and believe in every action. Deep down, your daughter is still the same wee girl you knew but with a blinkered view due to a negative influence.

      replyreport