I need advice again!!!

1. 68

   sassydeeposted 11 years ago

   I need advice again!!!
   
   my nephew is staying with me and he is only 13 years old and I am used to raising girls, well he wants me to let him go to his friends house without talking to the parents of the other kid cause he is embarrassed for me to do that. what do you think is he jusy lying or what?
   
   

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2. 48

   Pascale1973posted 11 years ago

   No matter what you're responsible for him, embarrassed or not you still have that responsibility...too bad too sad, do what you need to do as the guardian or he doesn't go!

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3. 79

   Mighty Momposted 11 years ago

   It's your house and your rules. He's a guest in your house and has to do things your way. It may not be how he gets to do them at his own house.

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4. 61

   Lisa HWposted 11 years ago

   I think there's a good chance he's not lying about being embarrassed.  He probably would be embarrassed because kids that age do get embarrassed about stuff like that.
   
   You didn't ask this, but it's hard to answer without throwing it in.  I think whether or not you should talk to the parents depends on the circumstances involving his "going to his friend's house".  Does that mean if he's hanging out in the neighborhood and wants to sometimes go in the house to have a snack, or does it mean he wants to stay overnight at someone's house?  Is it a new friend, or a friend he's had for quite awhile?
   
   Either way, there's a good chance he's being honest about feeling embarrassed, but you could tell him something like, "You're just going to have to explain to your friend and his parents that I'm not your mother/father and feel a little more careful about taking care of someone else's child."
   
   By the way, I have two sons and a daughter.  Boys aren't really a whole lot different from girls when it comes to something like whether a thirteen-year-old would be embarrassed about some things.

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   1. 68

      sassydeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      thanks

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   Dr. Haddoxposted 11 years ago

   I have read the other commits and feel, that for the most part, they have given you good advice. There is nothing wrong about you wanting to know who your nephew's friends are and where he is hanging out. Boys (and girls) his age, are on the "missing list," and in some instances are missing and dead. We always think that these things happen to childern in other people's families. Not true, bad things can happen to anybody. You are thinking correctly. Tell your nephew you are behaving the way you are because you love him, a lot. If he doesn't understand, so be it.
   Tough love is sometimes necessary.
   Good luck.
   Regards, Dr. Haddox

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      sassydeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      thank you

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   deerevposted 11 years ago

   I agree, it is your house and he should follow your rules. You should take every precaution to make sure he will be safe at his friends house. I would contact the parent (visit their home), just to make sure it meets your satisfaction. You can not be too careful in today's world. If your nephew is embarrassed, he has two choices, either get over the embrassement or don't go. Tough love is sometimes the best love. Good Luck.

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   1. 68

      sassydeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      tthank you so much very good advice from all who commented

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