Should Parents be their children friends, or just a parent?

1. 61

   Le_pattyposted 14 years ago

   Should Parents be their children friends, or just a parent?
   
   When does friendship with your children takes away your parenthood?

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2. 73

   thranaxposted 14 years ago

   Honestly, the best is to have a mix of friendship and parenting. Normally, young children need more of the parent side. Starting to grow up when they make some of there ow choices, its best to be a friend to help teach them indirectly how to be friends with others. As they start becoming teens, they should have more rights and less parenting, although the parenting part must be strict in some cases. When the child matures into a 17 or older teen, they should be more treated as a friend being an adult, although in the end make sure they know no matter what age they are, that you are always there parent.
   
   ~thranax~

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3. 73

   Quilligrapherposted 14 years ago

   If you are looking for someone with a little expertise on this subject, then here I am.  I think I have as little as anyone.  So, I shall dare to offer my opinion speaking not from a wealth of knowledge but from a lifetime of experience.
   
   Today, as an adult looking back at my years as a child growing up, learning about life, and shaping some sort of a code of ethics to guide me in making decisions, I realize that I was not in need of friends.  I had plenty of friends but only two parents.  My opinion: a child needs parents more than they need friends.
   
   Q.

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4. 60

   shegsy22posted 14 years ago

   I PERSONALLY THINK IT IS GOOD FOR THE CHILD TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEIR PARENTS, AS IN MY OPINION I FEEL LIKE I CANT TALK TO MY PARENTS NEVER COULD WHEN I WAS YOUNG OR EVEN NOW AND IM 22, DONT GET ME WRONG IM CLOSE TO MY MUM AND I WOULDN BE ABLE TO LIVE WITHOUT HER BUT IV ONLY EVER SEEN HER AS A MUM,
   
   KIDS FIND IT EASIER TO TALK TO SOMEBODY THEY DONT KNOW OR TO A FRIEND,
   
   IM STUDYING PSYCHOLOGY AT THE MOMENT SO I KNOW HOW A CHILDS MIND WORKS! JUST LET YOUR CHILD KNOW TAKE THEM TO ON SIDE AND SAY "I KNOW IM YOUR 'MUM' OR 'DAD' BUT IM ALSO YOUR FRIEND ASWELL AND YOU CAN TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING", AND JUST ASURE THEM THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEM, ITS EASY IT WILL ACTUALLY MAKE THE CHILD FEEL HE/SHE CAN TALK THE PARENTS!
   HOPE THIS HELPS! X

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5. 59

   GoGrannyposted 14 years ago

   This is so delicate...parents must never do anything that jeopardizes the child's trust and respect for them. Parents must know that their own behaviors will definitely affect the mental stability of a child. So parents must be mentally stable. You can be an effective parent by communicating, and being supportive to encourage a good relationship with your child. If you try too hard to be 'friends'  you run the risk of losing trust and respect. If that becomes the case parents may then have a very difficult time when trying to recapture the respect of the parent role as the child ages.

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6. 55

   Saffron_2010posted 14 years ago

   From a teenagers point of view
   A parent should be able to distinguish the appropriate time from being a parent and saying no, to being a friend.
   For example, girls need their mum to be their friend, but be able to parent them at the same time.
   Being close to your parents is valuable.
   
   Saff

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7. 59

   ktpsposted 14 years ago

   i think that a parent should be there kids friends too so that the kids will know that they can come to you for anything but still be a parent!

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8. 58

   Kampiposted 14 years ago

   In my opinion, parents that start treating their relationships with their children like "friends" will discover that this sets no boundaries, friends come and go, friends do not tell friends what they should not do, friends turn on one another. Many children want and need someone to set boundaries. Maybe parents need to consider just listening to their children, don't pass judgement and give their personal opinions on subject. Friends will not do this, in order to stay a friend they will give the other the answers they know they want to hear.
   Just my opinion.

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9. 60

   Lifeallstar1posted 13 years ago

   I think that a parent should never act as a friend, they should act as a supportive parent so their child knows they are loved unconditionally but the parent still has to parent so the child knows there are boundaries. It's important for the child to feel secure and have that parent to go to no matter what but not as a buddy. I suppose it is just a different kind of friendship. Meaning, a child needs to know they have their support, even if they know the parent will be disappointed, happy, sad, mad, but the parent should not go hang out as far as drinking with them, and all their friends think that is so cool. There's a fine line, shopping, problems issues to be supportive is great for the child, they need that but they don't need an adult buddy type friend in their parent.

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10. 60

    mom101posted 13 years ago

    Being a parent is being a friend. Best friend hopefully.

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11. 60

    POULOMI DUTTAposted 13 years ago

    be a friend first, a parent later
    but dont let your kid go astray thru excessive mollycoddling

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12. 69

    sharing the skyposted 13 years ago

    I'm not yet a parent myself but I'm at an age where most of my friends have already started their families with more on the way. I've observed and learned a few things from spending time with said friends and picked up some knowledge and experience with my previous line of work.
    
    It's my personal belief that parents need to be parents first and foremost to their children. Children come into the world new and need the support, guidance and direction appropriate parenting provides. Understandably, it's also important that kids can feel a certain level of friendship with their parents and can relate to them in a less authoritarian way. It can definitely be an enriching experience.

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13. 88

    mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years ago

    Should parents be friends to their children or just parents? I believe there is room for both, but have to say that parents who worry more about being friends to their children than parents, risk creating a future problem. read more

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14. 59

    Brynn Raubposted 7 years ago

    I believe you should be your teens friend, but at the same time you have to tell them when they do something wrong.  I am a teen myself and I am very close to my mom.  I would be lost without her.  If you want your teens to tell you what's going on in there life you have to seem like somewhat of a friend or else they won't tell you anything.  I tell my mom a lot of what's going on in my life and I feel comfortable doing that because she is understanding.  You have to understand we are teens, we make mistakes.  We are still learning, so you do have to guide us and point things out to us that we did wasn't right without being to harsh.  That works for me, but I suppose if other kids start to take advantage of it then you would need to be more stern and more of a "parent".  Overall you need to let your kids know that you have their best intrest at heart and your just looking out for them.

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15. 61

    Syeda Arubaposted 6 years ago

    Friendship is part of healthy parenting. So, a real parent needs to be much more than a friend.
    A friend is a person with which a child, or individual can share affection, trust, and understanding. These are basic ingredients of parenthood. But being parent doesn't end with being affectionate, trustworthy, and understanding. It requires parents to be guides, mentors, caregivers, and supporters.

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16. 60

    KC3Ladyposted 4 years ago

    I think it is dysfunctional when parents try to be friends with their minor children as opposed to be their parents.

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