In what ways can one deal with nosy in laws?

1. 62

   Dreamer08posted 10 years ago

   In what ways can one deal with nosy in laws?

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2. 60

   duffsmomposted 10 years ago

   I suppose it depends on how they are being nosy. Years ago I saw my mother-in-law head down the hall to the bathroom in our home. She moved past the bathroom and opened our bedroom door to peek in--why I have no idea. So their next visit, I closed the door all right but also locked it.
   
   So the best offense is a good defense.
   
   Also it may depend on what their child will put up with. If you have nosy in-laws their child whether your husband or wife...needs to be the one to address it firmly, but kindly.

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3. 60

   fpherj48posted 10 years ago

   Putting aside the fact that they are "in-laws,"  I find that what appears sometimes to be "nosiness" is simply curiosity and/or being overly interested in your business.
   
   It's not an easy thing to deal with and can be extremely annoying if you happen to be a private person in general, which I AM.
   
   I'm a firm believer in straightforwardness in most personal matters.  If one feels put out or really uncomfortable with their in-laws nosy behavior, say something.  This can be done respectfully and diplomatically and more importantly, with back-up from your spouse (their adult child).  Something to the effect..."I hope you understand, but I'd prefer to maintain what little privacy we have, by not discussing our personal & private matters with anyone."
   
   You might also use the tried and true.......turning a question right back at the person.....If asked what you paid for your new car......simply smile and ask, "You know, probably around the same that you paid for yours.  Car prices are fairly standard, don't you think?"  (just an example)  Most people would get the real message here that you do not intend to TELL them what you paid.
   
   There are any number of creative ways to bypass nosy questions or nosiness in general, without hurting feelings or causing a family problem.  Use your imagination and remain calm.  One day, YOU will be an in-law too!  LOL

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4. 87

   krillcoposted 10 years ago

   Firm and clear boundaries and something we counselors call 'differentiation' skills.

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5. 56

   Merrick Millerposted 9 years ago

   Nosy in-laws are simply parents of your spouse that are interested in their son or daughters life. For the most part they only want whats best and at times still believe they know whats best for their grown child. Yet, dealing with in-law questioning can become exhausting and grating.
   
   Keeping your private relationship as such should be a joint effort by both yourself and mate. Plan what you will share and how much you will share and then only answer accordingly to your agreement.
   
   When an in-law nosies beyond what the two of you have agreed upon, then simply state "Thank you for your concern but we wish not to discuss this further."
   
   Good Luck!
   M

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