I believe the first step however is to do some serious introspective thinking to figure out who (you are) and what you truly want or need in a mate for life.
To pursue relationships without having figured out the above is the equivalent of going shopping without a list!
They don't have a "mate selection process" or criteria which oftentimes causes them to try to change water into wine or force square pegs into round holes. They expect their mate to change!
In fact it's not uncommon for people to allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate their relationship choices.
Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.
I believe choosing the "wrong mate" for oneself is the leading cause for divorce, It's important to know yourself, love yourself, and trust yourself. Have the self-discipline to stick to (your) list.
The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the marriage that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys! :)
Communication is the GPS for relationships. By continuing to share thoughts and desires you'll learn if you're "growing together" or "growing apart" and possibly find a way to get back on track.