How would YOU deal w/freeloading ADULT siblings who want to live off your good s

1. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   How would YOU deal w/freeloading ADULT siblings who want to live off your good socioeconomic
   
   fortune, feeling that YOU as the more successful sibling are OBLIGATED to support & give them a comfortable lifestyle?  Furthermore how would you DEAL w/freeloading adult siblings who insist on living w/you & your family, contending that it is their RIGHT to do so?   
   
   

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2. 87

   tamarawilhiteposted 7 years ago

   I am not obligated to take care of them like a child. They are adults, and they need to work toward contributing to the household and society.
   This means looking for work, helping with housework. If they aren't earning an income, they are volunteering at my church and looking for a job and doing my chores.
   I've had relatives have to stay with me for a few weeks because of personal disasters. I've helped out family that were in dire straits due to medical problems. All of those cases were temporary. If someone seems to be stuck in that rut, I'd give them a hard deadline and kick them out. Anything else is a disservice to them trapping them in lazy, immoral habits and hurting society because they've dropped out of it.
   No one has a right to live off my efforts except my children, who I have an obligation to raise. The family I help and friends I've helped were part of a network of favors, with the expectation they'd do the same in similar circumstances or later repay. A lifelong "gimme" is a parasite and should not be tolerated.

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3. 95

   Paxashposted 7 years ago

   My brother is currently like this with my mom, and I keep asking her why she puts up with it. She feels like she's obligated to take care of him because he's her baby, but he's 22 and can't be bothered to do anything but play WOW all day. He whines and complains when she asks him to take the garbage out like he's suffering under her or something.
   
   If I'm ever in a position where he asks me to do the same thing for him, I would never support him. I know better than to think that it's a temporary situation or that he'd ever do the same for me. I would have no problem if he ever showed any kind of gratitude or basic decency, but he deserves nothing from me if he continues to act that way towards our mother.

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4. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   
   
   This goes w/the territory as far as siblinghood goes.  There ARE adult siblings who believe that because they are FAMILY.......they are entitled to the socioeconomic benefits of the more successful siblings.  They are of the school that they are entitled to the good life if not by their efforts, then by their successful sibling's.  They also contend that if their sibling/siblings are successful, the successful sibling's/siblings are OBLIGATED to support them.
   
   There are successful siblings who feel that they must give their sibling/siblings a better life.  The reasoning is that maybe such sibling/siblings "don't have the opportunity" they had so in their mind, they are under an obligation to support their sibling/siblings.  Oftentimes, these successful siblings deprive themselves & their own families to support the less successful sibling/siblings, giving the latter a lifestyle the former feel that they deserve.  This behavior can cause dissention w/the spouse & children of more successful siblings.
   
   This behavior is very commonplace in large/very large families where unsuccessful siblings expect, even demand that their more successful sibling/siblings support them & give them a better life.  Many successful siblings in large/very large families feel that it is DUTY to support their less successful sibling/siblings.  It is not uncommon for some siblings in large/very large families TO LIVE OFF a more successful sibling/siblings.
   
   However, there are successful siblings who maintain that since their sibling/siblings are grown, the latter ought to support themselves.  They believe in temporarily helping & giving their sibling/siblings an arm up but after a while, the latter are expected to do for themselves.  They are of the school that self-sufficiency & self-reliance are important components in adulthood.  They furthermore argue that supporting grown people only encourages them to become dependent & entitled.  They contend that THEY should enjoy the fruits of their socioeconomic success.   They believe that their sibling/siblings can be successful if they strategize & work positively as they have.  There are a few successful siblings who have DISSASSOCIATED themselves from their less successful siblings because the latter see the former as their personal ATM machine.

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5. 61

   walmart cherposted 7 years ago

   what you're describing isn't very common.  there are mega rich celebrities who support a lot of leeching family members.  but your adult sibling cannot force you to take him in.  if you choose to let him live with you, you must make it conditional on him getting a job, looking for a job, paying rent, helping out around the house, etc. otherwise you will be enabling his loser lifestyle.  i believe it is morally wrong to leave your sibling out in the cold.  you must help him by helping him help himself.

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