@ilmdamaily thanks for the advice. it has really taken me a long time to love myself and feel confident about myself and my abilities. My problem goes further than security. i'm from a culture where it is frowned upon to have children out of wedlock and i have done that twicw already. in my culture it is preferably to have a failed marriage with kids than not to have married and have kids. my fear is if i go ahead and have more kids without marriage and he walks out , i will feel as if i've failed my family and my kids.
@Veronica, thanks for the advice. wat he's said has triggered alarm bells in my head. he says the compromise that he's made is being with a person that has kids, b'cos he swore he'd never do that again. he had an ex girlfriend with a child and when they broke up it was messy. me persoanlly i do want marriage and i do love him, but is love enough. i have two kids i have to think about, if i'm going to put them in an environment where there are no guarantee's.