How hard it is to convict a sex offender

How hard it is to convict a sex offender

                Many misconceptions about convicted child molester have gone around the internet and everyone’s home table. It is often the general believe that if a child accuses someone of molesting them that the person is arrested, a trial is set and the person becomes a  convicted sex offender.  When after reading this article you will find a much different scenario which is not only scary, but when it was presented to the state of official in charge, it was not a shock, most of them tried to explain why it was done this way. The first thing to keep in mind is that everyone is innocent until proven guilty except a victim, and most victim right bills do not pertain to children.

                When a child comes forward to explain what they has been done to them they are hard to believe, often times because they do not have an adult mentality and they cannot use words or explanations that give someone the perfect description of what happen to them. That is why having special counselors and train professionals are needed from the beginning, and why they should not be made to confront the person they are accusing of the crime. From the point of coming forward often times an exam is ordered, however unless the child molester is very comfortable with this victim or they were caught in the act chances are the exams are only going to show swelling, or soreness, that any defense attorney can and will try to explain away. Even raped women who wait too long don’t show signs of physical rape just emotional rape, however, with children it is the emotional damage that usually gets the conviction. If the police were not involved up to this point, they will get involved after the examination regardless of the results, again don’t expect this to happen quick, there second step is to talk with the accused. This is where things really start to slow down and make it hard to convict a sex offender. 

                Of course the child molester is going to deny ever doing anything wrong, often they will offer proof of their innocence by offering names of other children they have been around or character witnesses who they know would never believe such a thing.  The next legal move is to get everything from the victim interview, exam and the accused interview to the prosecutor. The prosecutor will then want to visit with the victim, explain the process, many times let the parents know right from the beginning that they will do everything in the power of the law to get a conviction; however, because of shows like CSI and Law &Order many jury’s find it hard to convict a sex offender when it is their word against a child’s.  Of course no parent would be willing to give up that easily and want to pursue in the conviction, the next move is to take the evidence in front of the grand jury. When and if the grand jury decides to proceed, it is at that time an arrest and a bail is set. Keep in mind from start the child coming forward to the grand jury decision the time frame is 3-6 months. Once the arrest is made there are pretrial’s and motions that will last at least 6 months to a year, parents who can’t take much more are usually left with 2 option, allow for plea deal of time served or the accused does not have to be on the sex offender registry, or they can drop the charges and move on. As time moves forward if the victim and parents can hang on, when the trial approaches they get to listen to accusation of what is going to said to their child, and possibly what they will be accused of. The days of leading up to the trial will offer many plea offers, rejections, just a complete emotional roller coaster at which time the trial will begin.

                In conclusion to convict a sex offender it is no easy task, nor is it a quick one. In total 1-2 years is normal to gain a conviction, if a family is lucky when the arrest is made the accused sex offender may not be able to make bond, leaving them in jail until after they are convicted.  Of course that is if the jury selected actually convicts the accused, remember a victim that has been through counseling for over a year is not going to appear as traumatized as one that was just molested. It is also hard to listen to a child tell a story that doesn’t sound as detailed as an adults. How many times have you figured out what a child was trying to tell you by deciphering what was actually said, I know my wife used to tell me everything my kids said to me, I didn’t have a clue. So how easily can someone on a jury take that as a lie, or reasonable doubt, destroying a victim who stood up for themselves to get justice?

Comments 196 comments

Dirk 6 years ago

I'm sorry if you were the victim of abuse, but please realize that false accusations are a serious problem. It's not fair for a child to make up a story and completely ruin a man's life.


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 6 years ago from Michigan Author

The thing to remember here is children who's story doesnt add up will never see the inside of a court room. I agree a false accusation could be devastating to a grown adult, although most false accusations have some truth. It may be another person or something they did that set off the memory and the truth will come out. Child molestors are not like rapist, they don't pick a victim off the street run up and molest them. They take the time to get in good with the family, they can manipulate the situation and make it so no one believes the child accept a small few. Even after those that get convicted make up stories of what happened. They are well liked, usually excellent with children, close family members or friends of the family. Prosectutors do everything they can to keep these cases out of a court room because they never know how a jury will react. More times than not child molestors have to really leave a lot of evidence to be convicted. Its not like a child says this happens and the person is sent to prison, the child is put through extensive therapy and repeated questioning before this ever see's the inside of a court room. Then think about this do you think one child molestor ever says yes i did it. No they don't see a child coming forward as out to get them and are distraught about losing their control, they don't care one bit about the life long trauma they have caused the child, or the fact that this now could be a future child molestor.


Dirk 6 years ago

>> "The thing to remember here is children who's story doesn't add up will never see the inside of a court room"

When you say "the inside of a court room," you must mean a trial. Because the reality is that it's far too easy for a child to come to the police station and share their abuse memory... and have that lead directly to the arrest of the accused.

The police investigator has NO interest in checking facts... as long as the child's story is somewhat reasonable... and as long as the child can name somebody... there's going to be an arrest. The cops figure that the court system will separate the guilty from the innocent.

If the arrest comes without warning, chances are there's going to be an overnight stay in jail until the accused can appear before a judge... indeed, the accused gets to see the inside of a courtroom (and the inside of a jail cell) before any of the "extensive therapy" and "repeated questioning" occurs.

It does take a lot of time and effort for cases to actually get to trial... but I don'think it's due to prosecutors' concerns about the jury... the real reasons that few cases go to trial is that 1) many accused can't afford the $20k-$50k it takes to bail themselves out of jail and hire a defense lawyer and 2) the state offers plea bargains that are usually accepted by the guilty and/or poor.

I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, just providing a wider perspective... :)


G Status 6 years ago

Both of your answers helped me out greatly. Thanks.


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rogerthornton 6 years ago from Michigan Author

I don't disagree with your own experiences because each state has different ways of doing things. Michigan and Kentucky both require an investigation be done first and the final decision go infront of a grandjury, where the accused has a right to give testimony before an arrest is made. In general but now always, any lawyer who feels the prosecution has some proof but a weak case they make sure that their client never ends up on the sex offenders registry. This issue isn't black and white, or right or wrong. You are not accused and then arrested at least not in the two states I have mentioned. Plus even if it does one day go to court and someone desided to take a plea, would you plead guilty to being a sex offender with a felony, i know i wouldn't. Talk to sex offenders not one of them on the registry admit to doing anything wrong, it was always someone lied or they where tricked into thinking the person was older. I know one guy who swears it was statutory rape and the girl lied about her age, and yet the victim was 9 and he was babysitting her. You could meet this guy and ask him what happen and you will never get the truth. Do children lie, yes they do, can they be tricked into making up a story sure. A traumatized child who was molested is not going to have a hard time convincing people what happened, if given half a chance. A child that lies is going to change the story over and over and they will never be able to remember what lie they told. Molested children may remember new details but they wont change the facts. I don't disagree a man falsely accused would ruin his life, and he will never be looked at the same again, by people who don't know him. However a guilty man will never be looked at differently by those who he has fooled into trusting him. Why because those that trust him don't stop, its only the outsiders who didn't trust or know him that look at him different.


6 years ago

well wisconsin doesn't seem to have to do an investigation even if the children wait 3 and 5 years to come fourth and the man they acussed is happily married with children of his own and living another state but that doesn't matter because the children said so and then said man and his wife who knew nothing of his past is put in a jail cell for over a week and beaten by other inmates and while the guards turn their backs so this can go on and then dcs steps and takes 3 innocent children away from every family member they ever knew even thou all 3 of those children were check tested and talked to and no big surprize nothing had happen to them great justice system we have i shocked we don't go back to hanging people in the streets and for your information we are guilty until proven innocent in this country as far as i can tell


Audra Brown 6 years ago

someone I know molestated a 13yrs girl in my home twice. He also molestated another 14yr old girl. Once he took to a hotel and once in our home. He has now been arrested. They do have evidence with him signing into the hotel and the clark testify she witiness him going in with her. They have 159 text message between the two. She brought her and her friend to the house, which he took the other girl in the bedroom. Both girls and all witiness with testify. He did run to NY. The U.S Marshall picked him up and brought him back. We are now awaiting pre-trail. He did bond out. He is not allowed to leave this county and has to report in 3days a week. Do you believe he has any change of getting off without doing any time at all? Any information will be helpful


Natalie 6 years ago

What if the parent of the abused child calls the accuser and goes off on him, then he immediately get a lawyer? Now he cannot even be questioned! What can we do now? He refuses to take a lie detector test or to talk to investigators.


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CASE1WORKER 6 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

i can only comment on the uk system having been involved in a number of abuse trials- the main problems are the issue- it is horrible, even when they are now adults it is so terribly hard for the victims- often the abuser is a family member or friend.The witnesses often children find it hard to be specific over dates because they are so traumatised and have a childs awareness of time. I found that juries were reluctant to convict where the evidence was not 100 per cernt solid as they don't want someone to be put on the register- it is horrible.. but the only way that this can be addressed is by victims reporting to the police


ashley  6 years ago

I want to know about what if the person that is being accused of the crime is the father of the daughter that he has been doing this too? The child is 3 years of age and can barely talk. She is too young to understand what is exactly going on. I need advice to help me make her safe. I don't care if I have to put the father in prison to get custody.. and also; if the child is taken by state, can another family member take custody? please contact me if you can help in any way shape or form:

maries_hbic@yahoo.com

thank you for any information you can help me with


Heathir 5 years ago

Hi Im 24 my 26 year old now ex bf was molesting my 15 year old sister who lives with me.. we have text messages to prove it...however the detectives don't even care!!! how can i bring this sick fuck to justice?

please email your responses to sgfelonie@gmail.com Thank you!


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rogerthornton 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Heathir,

I am sorry to hear of your troubles getting someone prosecuted, I too know how difficult this can be. I always recommend try notifing local law inforcements first, howerver if a detective is not willing or able to respond,it may be best to get a hospital, child advocacy center or local sex counslor to report the crime as well. If you can get other's involved and report the crime it becomes harder for local police to ignore. Many times they don't feel they have enough to prosecute;however with more physical or mental evidence it often helps law inforcement to prosecute. The main problem with prosecution is so many people still don't believe this goes on. Almost everyone i know can tell me of someone falsly accused and how a person was falsely found guilty, although that is after talking to someone who was found guilty and come up with a story on why or how their victim lied. I am not a professional in this area, although I do have plenty of experience in this area, I always recommend counsling right away. The main reason is so your sister can get the resources available by your state to help her. Each state has different programs that can help her and often times help in the prosecution of the offender. I wish you the best of luck and feel free to contact me at any time.


Ira 5 years ago

If a child was molested by his stepmother years ago and the child is now an adult, will that person have the right years later to convict the stepmother? The Child lost his childhood and possibly father one of the Stepmothers children. The Child at the time was around 12 or 13.


lilxmissxone profile image

lilxmissxone 5 years ago from Salem, OR

Hi, I have a question I am hoping you can answer for me, or atleast point me towards where I can find the answer. In 1992 my father was convicted of Sodomy 1,2 & Sex abuse 1 for sexually abusing my brother. I was sexually abused by him as well, & when my brother testified in court it was decided that I was not old enough yet (I was 7) & so in 1994, when I was 9, I went to trial against my dad, He was then again convicted on 1 more Sodomy 1 charge & 2 Sex Abuse 1 charges. He was sentenced 20 - 50 yrs & is still in prison. I received a letter from my father a couple weeks ago out of no where & in this letter he portrays this made up story he created in his head about how he never abused my brother & I, those things never happened & he is trying to convince me that we got the idea we were being sexually abused by him from sneaking out of our rooms when he came to visit & witnessed him & our mother engaging in sexual activities on the living room floor. BULLSHIT!!! I already know that is all a lie. I was there, that is not what happened. My question is, In 1994 in the state of Oregon, what was the required evidence needed for convicting him on these charges???


whattothink 5 years ago

My husband is surving a 4 yr sentence for a 15 year old girl that accused him of having sex with her. there was no physical evadence. the judge said that her word was enough to convict. this girls parents told me that this is not the first time she has accused a man of this. my husband took a lie detector test and passed. how could this happen?


MaryAnn 5 years ago

I have disagree. There are many false accusations that are made. My own daughter, for one, has used the "I've been molested, I've been raped" since she was 13 years old. She realized that it drews LOTS of attentiona and also got her what she wanted.... or thought she did. She has accused 5 different people of this charge including her brothers, a boyfriend, a man that she was at a party with (including pretending to be intoxicated which she tested negative for) and also went before grand jury to testify against another who her friend said raped her. I am a middle school teacher and assure you that there is NOT always truth behind every lie.... Even lies that are this sensitive. I've been on the other side and I agree with whattothink...... the system is unfair when it comes to this. I've also had my unfortunate battle with falserapesociety as soon as I said I was a feminist... (meaning equality to this 50 year old). This is an ugly topic that needs to be discussed, but I'm not sure your description of the process is accurate. That may be so in your state, but the grand jury does not happen before the arrest in NYS....


MaryAnn 5 years ago

For anyone that happens to read my message.... please understand that I love my daughter very much. She is almost 21 and it CAN be as simple as telling a story. The problem is, it worked for her the first time, so she tried it over and over. It worked another time as well. I don't think the system is as ideal as the opening statement that you made. If that is your actual experience, then you were fortunate. The sex offender registry does not stop the true pedophiles and rapists from re-offending. There are people on there that do not deserve to be. Thankfully, we have people like the innocence project who is responsible for freeing many of the innocent.


Angel 5 years ago

Someone please contact me if you can help....jesus_freak45817@yahoo.com.....i went to the police when i was 15 and they didn't believe me they said my story and his story didn't match so of course they took the adults side i just want justice....how do i go about trying to get him on trial someone please with any advice is helpful.


Kristy 5 years ago

Call your local CPS (Child protective Service) office or your local domestic abuse shelter. They will help you. The National Coalition against domestic violence is online with online numbers.


very upset 5 years ago

my daughter was molested repeatedly by her father, he admitted to it (hand written statement), he was arrested, his family paid his bond, he was arrested again& paid bond & has been free as a bird ,5months have come & gone 2 counties have pushed the case under the rug i don't understand why something cannot be done with his admission to guilt they act like it could be up to 2 years before its decide if its a bill or no bill could you please explain to me why r what else i could do he has taken up with another lady who has children, something is wrong with our laws!!!


Kristin 4 years ago

I feel so bad for all of you who are going through this, and also for the innocent men who are in prison for being falsely accused. I can, however, say that I hope my father-in-law is arrested as soon as possible and beaten to within an inch of his life in jail. He abused our trust in him, bought my girls expensive gifts, took them on vacations, helped us out of financial difficulties when my husband lost his job, flaunted his wealth, trash-talked us to my girls when they stayed at his house in order to drive in a wedge of mistrust and bitterness to make him look like the good guy - betraying and tricking us, and tearing apart the family just so he could get his kicks with my daughters. They received so many gifts from my in-laws that there was no reason for them to lie about him abusing them, because they're old enough (13 and 11) to understand that a serious accusation like that would mean the gifts and vacations would stop. They're very good kids, and if he truly was the loving grandpa he pretended to be, they would never lie about something like that.


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 4 years ago from Michigan Author

I want to thank everyone who has commented on this post, and I do apologize for not responding to each person personally. Our family has had to refocus our lives away from the tragedy of what happened and become survivors. One thing to keep in mind with child molesters, they are not monsters by nature and often when you place your trust in one your child pays deeply. No child molester claims to do these things, the child is always lying and as anyone who knows children know they tend to lie, so it’s easy to believe the child molester it’s hard to believe the victim.

Prosecutors only need to word of a child to put the case in front of the grand jury; however, that does not convict a person, it only allows for the trial. Children get interviewed repeatedly in these cases, if someone tells you that the child said this happened and it was enough to convict them, they are lying to you. Children are required to go to counselors; they get interviewed by police, the prosecutor, the parents, and eventually the defense attorney. Do some people get wrongfully convicted; of course the system is not perfect. The one thing we lose sight of is these people convince everyone someone lied about them, every person you meet on the sex offenders registry has a story of how they lied or it was consensual or they were wrongfully convicted just because the child said so.

The fact is everyone can become a victim to child molesters, they often spend time with multiple children and never molest them, and they use them children as proof they didn't molest that one. There is no way to know which ones have been wrongfully convicted and which ones are just making you the next victim of their deceit. It’s much harder to believe the victim than it is the accused. In our case the abuser walks free today after spending 5yrs in prison, which by the way he is not on the sex offender’s registry as part of his plea agreement. Two victims unrelated came forward and there were only their words it happened; it was dragged out for years until he took a plea.

If you get told by your child they were touched, the only thing you can do is report it to the police, get the child counseling, be supportive and work together as a family to rebuild you and your child's trust again. Remember this if you thought for two seconds a person was a child molester, you would never allow them around and no child would ever get molested. The problem is child molesters are normal everyday people who are great with children and normally average Joe's, so to speak. No parent does a great job of keeping their children from being molested by someone; we just get lucky a child molester didn't pick our children.

If you feel your wrongfully accused, take charge right away, open your life up to the police and prosecutors, it will frustrate them at first but they will realize your innocent by your openness. Many times we as people we make ourselves look guilty and causing persecution instead of prosecution. If your child wrongfully accuses someone, don't be embarrassed come forward and clear the person's name and continue working with your child and counselor's to get to the route of the issue. It won't take years to find out the truth, but it will take years to rebuild after a child is molested. Child molesters don't realize they kill your children when they force them into adult acts, they take their innocents, they cause your children to one day be at risk of suicide, molestation against another, and low self-worth. So ask yourself the next time you meet another innocent convicted child molester, are they really the victims they play to be, or are you just another victim who they will use to find another child. We meet people all the time and never know their sexual preferences, so it’s natural for us to be fooled when a sex offender befriends us and uses us to get closer to the children we know.


Kristin 4 years ago

Roger, thank you so much for putting this information out there. It's the most thorough I've found so far on what to expect with the legal process. We've already spoken with the police, and they took about 2 hours getting my girls' statements. They told me the next step is speaking to my father-in-law. I'm not so much concerned about the time it will take to get a conviction, to me the most important thing is that he'll never abuse my kids again, and he's out of our lives for good. Even if he doesn't get a conviction, he will NEVER be allowed around my kids for the rest of their non-adult lives! After that, if they choose to let him in their lives again, it's their choice, but I don't think they will.

He was abusive to my husband and his brothers while they were growing up, but my husband told me his father's molestation of our daughters comes as a total shock to him, because he was never molested by his father as a child. Both of us thought his attention to our kids was kind of his way of trying to make up for the years of abuse. We thought he honestly loved his grandkids and was trying to spoil them with the gifts and vacations. Even so, I was starting to get uncomfortable with the amount of money he was spending on them, and was about to ask him to tone it down a little.

When my husband lost his job last year, my in-laws stepped forward and paid a few of our bills, bought the kids their school clothes and supplies, and took the girls for a lot of weekends and sometimes even weekdays to give us a break. I'm so disgusted that he used our misfortune for his own sick desires. He also talked bad about us to the girls the entire time, telling them I was a useless mom and their dad was stupid and it was his fault he lost his job (totally untrue), and that we were unfit parents because we didn't make enough money to support our family. He'd talked that way about us every time they visited, but my girls kept all this from us because they didn't want to hurt our feelings.

Like you said, he didn't abuse every kid he came into contact with. We have 6 kids, but to my knowledge he only molested the two girls. There was evidence he was grooming our youngest daughter, he almost completely ignored our oldest daughter (who is very close to me, and he somehow knew he wouldn't be able to do anything to her without her telling us), and he only gave our two boys enough gifts and attention to keep up the appearance of being a good grandfather.

As far as I'm concerned, my mother-in-law is an enabler and although she wasn't directly involved in the abuse, I'm not happy with her either. She's always made excuses for the way he treats his family, and will not stand up for herself, her own son when her husband trash-talks him, and allowed her husband to sleep with his granddaughters in his bed while she slept in the other room, keeping it all a secret from us.

I'm sorry I'm typing up so much all at once. It helps to write it down and get it out of my head. We've lined up counseling for our girls, and also for my husband and me so we know best how to deal with it. I feel like my immediate family is getting stronger and we'll pull through it. He can burn in hell for all I care. Even if he somehow convinces a jury of his innocence and never sets foot in jail, one day he'll have to stand before God to be judged of his crimes against innocent children. Justice might be fast or slow, but either way I'm sure he'll pay for what he did to my family.


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Kristin,

I thank you for sharing your story, too often people read this and decide that I wrote no one gets wrongfully convicted, which is the farthest thing from the truth. That said,Often the problem with a spouse of the accused they believe they are under attack because you accused their husband or wife. Its hard to imagine that this could happen in your home or a time when your around and you didn't know; however the control child molesters have often allow them to keep the abuse quite even when the parents are in the home. Many parents don't report sexual abuse of their own children because they believe they are to blame, and are embarrassed that this happened. People think parents report this for attention,and blame the children. Its takes extreme courage to go through what your going through and its an emotional roller coaster. The abuser and their attorney will try to expose all your bad points while taking the focus off them, this strategy is merely to get parents to say forget this its not worth it and drop the charges. It's hard to remember at times that this is a ploy and does not mean anything, its their way of getting you to avoid trial. If you speak with your children's counselor I am sure they will let you know testifying often helps your children move forward. This of course is not always the case; however, its can be the closer that is needed. I wish you guys the best as you go through these trying times.

Sincerely,

Roger Thornton


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rogerthornton 4 years ago from Michigan Author

I do want to leave everyone with a final thought, I spent years writing local congressmen and organizations to get the laws changed in KY. They were eventually changed by not by my local representative, I wrote every representative in the state once a week for over a year to get the laws changed. I am sure they just deleted my emails after time went on; however they knew they had to act or deal with me forever. This subject is almost taboo in all forums and people don't want to discuss it, remember it was only 30 years ago that when this happened it didn't get reported and many just quit going to that person's house.

The best things you can do is utilize the programs available in your state, which often will not be easy to find until you speak with the counselor's and advocates who work in this area. Everyone knows it happens but everyone thinks its only monsters that do something like this. Victims think of these guys/girls as monsters; however parents know them as mom, dad, brother, sister, best friends, grandma or grandpa. This is why these crimes are so easy to happen and so hard to believe and prove. This crime is one of the worst for re offenders as well over 40% recommit the crime; however they are often much harder to convict a second time because of they learn how and what got them caught originally.


Mother Of two Survivors 4 years ago

This is Bull.....When a child tells the school or police she was molested by her Father they do believe them. 13 and younger do not know how to lie and 9/10 times the child is believed. When you have 12 jurors all knowing why they are serving for child molestation already have the guy guilty. You are kidding yourself if you're getting out of this easy. Any child that tells me some adult touched them in a private place I believe and so will anyone else. So pack your bags and don't bend over for the soap.


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rogerthornton 4 years ago from Michigan Author

While your opinion is appreciated the facts that I stated are of events that actually happened in sexual abuse cases in Kentucky. I believe you have required to report confused with they believe. If a child reports any kind of abuse to a school official it has to be reported and investigated. Jury's don't automatically convict on a child's testimony, many of these cases get dropped and found not guilty due to lack of evidence. Many people get confused by news media reports, they never report what a victim has to go through or how long the case actually took. We all are victims of media reports making it seem like things are easy and just. I pray you never have to experience this from a victims standpoint and actually witness the harsh truth of what children go through after they come forward. The system is not perfect so there will always be exceptions to the rule but read what people have written and you will see this type of experience is not rare or limited to Kentucky.


Conserned 4 years ago

I am new to this web page but have read all of your comments. If someone has already served time in prison for child molesting and is now accused again about 15 years later, is there an immediate arrest?


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rogerthornton 4 years ago from Michigan Author

It depends on the evidence against the person and the local laws. If its a case of the victims word against the accused, then in most cases no. The police will have no choice but to gather evidence and turn it over to the prosecutor down the road. If there is concrete evidence showing that this person did this then an arrest can be made sooner, however, I do not know the normal procedure where you are located. In places like Kentucky and Michigan no arrest would be made until after an interview of the victim and the accused, an exam by the hospital, social worker being involved and the case being brought in front of a grand jury.


melissa 4 years ago

I am sooo confused! My story is that I met an amazing man a few months ago and fell in love. He has a 14 yr old daughter and I have a 15 year old son who started dating. (A little crazy I know!) So we have learned this beautiful young girl does a lot of stuff to get attentionalmost on a dailey basis. She makes up stories and gets my son all worked up and she loves it! Well today she told my son my boyfriend/ her father has been molesting her. As soon as I found out I called her and she told me the same thing. After a few hours of freaking out not know if she is doing this for attention or if its true I decided to talk to her in person. I gave her the chance to tell the truth if in fact she was lying and explained life was about to change if she was telling the truth and I would be there for her. We then called the aunt to tell her what's happened and I took her to her aunts. We talked for awhile and when I went outside for a few mins the aunt called my boyfriend. He then showed up freaking out so I called the cops and he was arrested and his daughter was then taken to protective custody. Her allagations were that he has been having sex with her since she was 13 tell a few days after christmas. A little over a year. Well that was the final story. The dates changed a few times but the fact that he molested her never changed. I believe her about 90% and the other 10% I am not sure. I just don't know if I helped ruined a mans life that I love. I know I am done with him regardless because I will never know forsure and can't have a man like that in my life. I am just scared the system here in stockton ca will just put him in jail regardless he did it or not. What should I do?


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rogerthornton 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Melissa,

Let me start by saying I know how draining your day has been and I wish you and your family the best.

Acting out by teenagers is common even when they haven't been molested; however, its even worse when they have. The best thing you could do is exactly what you did. Let the professionals deal with this situation. I would not be surprised if many details get added in the days to come. There are even cases when the child didn't realize their lives would be changed so much that they recant their own story even when its the truth. Finding out the truth is not an easy task because a child molester would never admit to it and a child with a history of lying are usually good enough to maintain a story for a short period, which is why professionals have to make the determination.

I know this doesn't help in moving forward, however, your son's girlfriend will have details that only her and her father will know and details that may help to prove or disprove this case. The only thing you can do is be patient and wait for the truth to come out, easier said than done, I know. This site maybe able to give you an idea of what you may expect if you still have dealing's with your son's girlfriend. http://parentsupportforchildsexualabuse.com/parent...

I hope this helps.

Sincerely,

Roger Thornton


Conserned 4 years ago

I will give you more details regarding my previous question about a repeat offender. In 1982 this person was arrested for child molesting in the state of Florida. He served time in prison for this and also was sent to a mental facility for counseling. He had repeatingly raped a 5 year old relative. I few years after being released it was suspected that he was sexually abusing his own daughter and possible his son who were under the age of 10. He was never arrested for this but I believe there are some court records to back this up. He moved from state to state and is now living in the state of Ohio. He just recently sexually abused a 7 year old. This has been reported to the local police department and the father of the 7 year old is pressing charges. There is also another family member who is now grown up who has admitted to being abused by him but does not want to press charges. This man is still walking around free!! Since he has already been charged for prior offense and servered time in prison for the 1982 incident, why isn't an immediate arrest possible? Will this all be considered if and when he is arrested for this current complaint? I'm sure there could be others out there that may have been molested by this sick man yet he is still free.


I Lied 4 years ago

I lied... I destroyed my fathers life and he went to prison. I made up the story when I was 9ish after hearing someone else tell a like story and during my parents bitter divorce. Now my father has to register for the rest of his life. Once I told the lie because of all of the attention on it at the time I was to afraid to tell the truth.. I didn't know how to get out of the lie. As an adult I finally DID tell the truth but obviously lives were destroyed! Nothing I can do to ever fix it.. just pray to the lord above that I am forgiven.


itiiti 4 years ago

im dating a man who has done time in jail for child molesting charges but he says hes been framed by a guy that hes mother use to date n says hes the child molester n framed him im siting here thinkn is he jus liaring or is he telling the truth but wat i cant get my head round is how did he get charged if hes not guilty ???? help me plez dnt they do dna to determine if ur guilty or not they cant jus charge u n lock u up if they dnt ave evidence can they


Victim of child abuse 4 years ago

It bothers me how hard it is to convict a child molester.

I know of one case where a father confessed to molesting his own daughter who was under the age of 2 at the time. The charges were dropped because they didn't feel they had enough evidence to prosecute him. (no physical evidence, just his confession)

I'm now worried about another case involving siblings. One child is speaking about the abuse but the younger child will only speak to the other sibling about it and refuses to speak to any adults involved in the case. The molester has also worked really hard to befriend people and get into a high level position at his church. Once he's actually charged, I suspect we'll hear a lot of people saying they can't imagine someone like him harming children. Especially since he has 5 children of his own. It makes me sick.

I was sexually abused by my own grandfather and to this day my own family accuses me of making the whole story up. In the 30 years since it happened my story hasn't changed once and they still refuse to believe. I feel bad for anyone wrongly accused but I feel even worse for the children who were truly harmed and never receive justice.


Megan 4 years ago

I believe any child that has said they have been touched in a wrong place our knows far to much about sexual actions,the have been exposed to horrid things they shouldn't have.And to those family's out there that don't even consider your baby has been molested,even tho she told horrid specific details with out being asked 20 questions!you are just as guilty,and should never have children!!!!


biggin 4 years ago

My question is.. Last year I was accused of molesting my girlfrend child. We have been together for almost 2.5 years and for the last year been fighting them. Its all been here say with nothing to support i but a statement from our 3 year old. We ran out of money and stress levels were high and agreed on a plea of probation with no sex offender registration. mind you were not married but the put on the probation that I could see my youngest daughter but could see my oldest and my girlfriend. Weve been wondering if we got married could it help keep our family together, we were gonna get married anyways but it got postponed. I really love my family and have fought in and out of jail to keep them. I cant live with them yet I pay their bills and mine and hold a job. They said they caught me seeing my little girl and so we were wondering if getting married could keep them from seperateing us for good cause i know thats what there after. Its been a long hard road and I love my babys so much and I just want to have my family back and live a normal life. can someone please help to if getting married would help or not. Thank you


biggin 4 years ago

Do apolgize for my typing. Tired and stressed to the max. What I was saying is while on probation I cant see my youngest daughter but I can see my oldest and my girlfriend.


unijuarez 4 years ago

my granddaughter was sexually abuse for two years and everytime would her mom and was never believed by her mom. till one day my gdd told her best friend and her bf told her mom and something was done. but the monster is still a free man and will have court till 04/2012.


Concerned father 4 years ago

I have a 3 almost 4 year old step daughter (who I consider to be my own) who has been being molested by her biological father for two years now. We have had multiple forensic interviews done and they end up with "not enough evidence". Not to mention we live in a small town in Idaho......as you can imagine we have awesome cops lol. Does anyone have any idea on any office state or federal wise that my wife and I can contact for help, because we are going no where at all! This needs to end! This beautiful little girl does not need to continue dealing with this nor does our family!!!!!

PLEASE HELP!


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Biggin,

I am not sure on the laws in your current state; however, in most cases where a judgement has already been put into place special permission is required to change the conditions. That said if you were to get married it is possible that your probation officer would allow you to live with your wife, but I would speak with an attorney in your state first. Many will give a free consultation, especially considering that things have changed in the actual case.


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 4 years ago from Michigan Author

I feel for your situation greatly, when we were in a similar situation we had to keep pushing the issue. I did this by writing to state police heads in the state along with the prosecutors. I emailed them every two weeks with updates in the case, even if it was just changes in my daughters nightmares and things like that. Its so hard to get a conviction once the person accused denies everything and the cops don't have much to go on. Your family is our prays.

Sincerely,

Roger Thornton


stressedoutmax 4 years ago

I have been dating a girl for 2.5 years and just Sunday her 6 year old daughter told my gf and I that my nephew made her touch him several times. We immediately said good job for telling us. We proceded to ask when and where this happened. She said it happened several times while she, her 10 year old brother, and my 18 year old nephew played hide and seek about 6 month ago. We asked where and the response was out on their porch in broad daylight, we asked where any other places it happened and the response was she didn't remember, but eventually she giggled and said it happened in the tool shed. She was very detailed about how it all happened but I wonder about how she giggled as if making it up. I hope my nephew would never do this but only he knows for sure. I have doubts also about the little girl's godparents; they invite her over every other weekend, but never allow her brother to come over. They spoil her rotten and claim how they can't have children and would love to adopt the girl if we ever gave her up? Something doesn't seem right with that situation. I wonder about everyone because of the previous statement, because the girl's brother was molested by a little girl if he didn't do something. I am so confused. The daycare provider said she didn't think the cops should be involved but was obligated to call them anyways. The godparents said the whole thing should be dropped, which sounds strange. My girlfriend says if my nephew goes to counseling that she wouldn't press charges, which seems strange too. Finally, when I told my gf about a man i worked with who was falsely accused, the gf sounded defensive and said that she or her mom would never make their daughter say anything like that, I didn't even insinuate that, I just made a statement and she got defensive. So thats all, I want to accuse everyone, and don't want to accuse anyone. I am just stressed, confused, and needed to write about it and get it off my chest. Oh, Now my sister doesn't want anything to do with me because I am with a woman who falsely accused her child, so I am torn between my woman and my family.

Thank you for letting me vent and any or all comments welcome.


wade 4 years ago

when my son was 14 an my nephew was 10 they looked and each others privates an touched them my nephew is slightly autistic my son is adhd with seizures and short term memory. my nephew brought it up recently and now the da or the investigators wont tell us nothing. the doctor proved (from my sister) that nothing sexual had been done. my son doesn't denie that it happened. so what do we need to do. hes not a molester. how do we help him he is now 18.


hopefully set free 4 years ago

Okay I saw this topic and had to post. My family is going through a very stressful situation right now but hopefully it turns out well. So several months ago a family member of mine who is around 7 or 8 made an accusation that my brother molested her. Now this little girl does have some abbandonment issues but I'm not sure if the court will recognize that. Anyway my brother is 14 and before she told someone he touched her she came up with a few lies like "he was using my moms towel or he said a bad word" might I mention se was laughing when she said it. Okay so my mother calld the police not HER mom even though she knew. So he did go to juvinille for a week and now he's on probation. No one believes he did it because we know how the little girl is. We think maybe someone did do it but it wasn't my brother... I'm just stressed I need encouragement. In our situation what do you think are the possible out comes? Oh I also should mention that my brother is a trouble maker but more so with violence and drugs not with touching young kids... will that also affect this case?


stressedoutmax 4 years ago

So, I have calmed down about my situation some, and all I can say is that the truth will be shown eventually, we just have to have faith and patient. I will pray for myself and others who have posted on this site and hopefully we will all get the answers we need.


JJ 4 years ago

Right now my husband is under investagation for something that never happen.. There is no evidence .. How long does an investagation usually takes and when would we know something... He's been accuse by some girl that he show her a pic.. We don't know even know thus person .. And another girl said that he made her get undress when she was I guess 4 or 5 now she is 12.. Last year I help a family out took them in because they were homeless .mom have 9 kids total but she were with 2 the girl 16 and the boy 14 .. Anyhow my husband been working in the oilfield fior the past 13 yrs.. I haven't seen him in months he came home on days off .. He was shock to know that I was helping other ppl .. To make a long story short I went to pick up some drinks from hastings . While I was on the phone with him .. There were 5 kids in my house .. My 2. They friend and the ppl I took in brother n sister.. The girl was having a panic attac n was crying my husband told me right away.. I click over n call her mom twice but no ans anyhow there is all these kids standing there I got to the house n ask the girl if she need me to take to the hospital ? She said no that she's feeling better I told her that I call her mom but no ans.. I ask her if she call her dad or step mom her ans was no .. Soon as my husband left the house the girl got a hold of my son phone went to the back yard, I follow her to make sure she was ok.. She saw me and ran to the front yard n call her mom boyfriend .. When the mom boyfriend got there I was shock .. When he told me Its my husband.. I got speechless.. Well he took her to the hospital.. To me if they did a rape test or any kind if test my husband would get arrested right away.. Her mom call me 2 hours later yelling at me saying my husband try to do nasty with her daughter.. Later that night the dad n step mom came to my place to get the rest of his kids stuff out .. 2 days later CPS came to my house took my kids away for the weekend kick my husband out from his own house and told him that a detective will call him by the next week .. Took my kids down question my

kids .. Since then I haven't heard anything from CPS.. Well since then it's been 5 months now.. Last week I got a call from the detective ... I went to my lawyer immediately but still haven't heard anything as yet.. The detective ask my lawyer if they need my husband to take a ploygraph test if he is willing to rake it.. I ask my lawyer what happens if he fails or pass the test ... If fails that's not good .. But if pass more than likely the case will get decline.. I know my husband is innocent.. He us always gone n when he is home we spent family time with our

kids .. Can someone plz give me some kinda advice


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Of course every state is different in this process,that said normally it can take about a year to a year and a half. This of course depends on what everyone is telling the prosecutor and if he/she feels they have a case. As far as a lie detector goes, if your husband takes it and passes, often times the cases are dropped;however, failing it would make them look harder but they can't use it against him in the court either way. I know it often seems like we have clear proof a person can be innocent but I have seen a case where the molestation took place in the next room with no one in the house knowing. That being said, if there are a lot of witnesses, some should be able to back up your husband's story and make it very difficult to convict him. I hope and pray the truth comes out for you soon, so your family can start to heal.

Sincerely,

Roger Thornton


Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

Your Comment was so interesting And informative


whatidonow 4 years ago

ok people help me please. i have been with this guy for almost 10 years. my daughter who is disabled she is 12 but mentally 6 she is in special ed beasically 1st grade level. she was talking with a friend and her teacher overheard her the teacher went to counsoler the cops came. next thing i know 2 detectives show up at my home we were both here. they called me outside said there was accusations of abuse would not say what kind. they informed me cps had to be contacted and my fiancé had to leave home. so it all went down we continued to talk for a week. exactly a week later we went in for the cap interview for u guys who don't know cap is child abuse prevention or something like that any ways they interviewed both my children and less than an hour later they arrested him. my problem is hes being charged with my disabled child but according to my other daughter it happened to her too, unfortunately now im being told they cannot charge him for her because it happened in a different state she is still going through the cap program and yesterday i was informed shes showing mild ptds which is messed up y do u have to be in that state its not fair because shes feeling shes not getting justice for her


Hannah 4 years ago

Well my 10 year old son was molested by his father who passed away while there was still an open investigation going so no justice was served in that. Than he was molested by his grandfather shortly after his dad passed and no justice served on that case either because of lack of evidence. It is very sad how hard it is to prove these kinds of cases without good hard facts there is no justice...


mona 10/4 4 years ago

I need some answers. my granddaughter was molested by by brother at the age of 10 she is know 12. she fist talk to the school and told them what had happen. want the police want to school it was a lady office that she talk to after she talk with them they told use that she said he touch her and was getting ready to put it in her want she scream so she said he stop. per the office we were told at that time he did not panatared her.if took some time for the detective to contract my daughter she has to talk her to police station so she could talk with them now after the meeting with detective my daughter said she told them that he did put it in her twice so i not sure if what she said is true or what. woulden the detectives have the police report from the day they want to the school and woulden it say what she told them the first time. I know what he did is wrong but I want to make sure what she is saying is true. I did talk to detective said they need to get evidance to proof what happen in order for them to present their case to the DA cause at this time they only have she said he said. is this enough evidance to convict him.


mona 4 years ago

how long has it been since he was molested. for my granddaughter it was back in 2010 and per the detective they said as far as what they only have is she said and he said they have not yet talk to him but per the detective said want they do they will try to get him to say he did do it but I do not thing he will say he did so if not than she said he walks what kind of evidance would they need since it has happen two years ago. need some answer do you guys thing they will convict him with out evidance?


mum 4 years ago

l am a a mum of 2 beautiful boys 1 who is 10 and the other who is 6.my brother in law has been dating a girl for 8 years now and she has a son whom is 12, from a prier relationship.We have bought this child into our lives as part of the family.He sexually abused both my boys and because he is a child he has not been charged and is under going intense councelling and if he complies with this, his next court case is in september he will be a free boy so he can go and hurt someone elses children.l have my hands tied and this is eating at me like cancer.l want to get him out of this small country town that we live in and make the parents aware that there child is sitting in the same class room as a sexual prediter,but because he is under age no charges can be held on him and l cant make this public.Were do l stand leagaly,what can l do


taya 4 years ago

my son was molested and sodomized in wisconsin by a 15 yearold. This kid has offended before. My son is only 5, seem like he is getting back on paper and counseling!! What kind of justice is that this kid is perverted!! and going around other kids what can be done??? already contacted police and my son was interviewd. Me and his dad caught him in the act the last time he touched my 5 yearold.


vampire 4 years ago

thr ri laws suck i know someone that was sent to jail and had his life ruined for a kid that acussed him of sexally abuse and the accused someone else of the same thing not even a month later and my friend got 4yrs and probations for nothing


haddeed 4 years ago

Sorry to say this, Roger, but your typos and incorrect grammar diminish your credibility. You should have someone proofread your posts before publishing.


MichelleG 4 years ago

My boyfriend has been accused of raping a 13 yr old girl, his case has not yet gone to trial but he has been ordered not to have contact with any minors. I have a 1 yr old daughter, he has not had any contact with her since his case began. Can my daughter be taken from me or can he be arrested for having contact with me only and not her? I am helping him get to and from work a lot but my daughter is always left with a babysitter when I see him. I don't want to risk losing my daughter but I am very much in love with my boyfriend and I believe he has been wrongly accused. I can't let him face this alone but I want to protect my daughter as well.


someonewhocares. 4 years ago

After reading all of this it saddens me of how many children are being molested. I am going through a similar case with my little one. We have been interviewed by the investigators, cops, and have been workng with counselors and victims advocate. My little one has been going through all of this for a year now. My child was once totally potty trained and slept alone. Still to this day having accidents in pants and having horrible nightmares. My childs attitude changed, went from being calm and quiet to being loud, rambunkious, and not wanting windows in bedroom. This is hard for me cause I knew how the child was before he said anything to the authorities and now its like I don't even know my own child anymore. I know that there is still lots of pain and now its turned into being ashamed. I try to encourage that it wasn't their fault, and that all we have to do is keep complying with everything and await the trial date. The only issue is the perputrator has caused a lot of people to be against our family. The hardest thing is the guy that did it was one of my best friends for like 5 years. He was homeless so my sugginificant other and I let him stay there. We never thought that he would commit this crime a second time. Once as a juvenile and this time. The guy never told us exactly what he got in trouble for. So we was unclear as to why he had spend the years in juvenile detention. For a long time I never notice but not only did he mess with my child he also raped me of my kindness, loyalty, and my friendship. I probably will never be able to trust another man around my child alone. I walk in fear daily, afraid I may see some one he knows and they are against us. Blaming me for being the one who told. I said nothing it was my child who told the investigators not me. My child had every right to tell and I am proud of them for doing so. I haven't revealed the sex of my child nor their age due to the fact that this is still going on and for the fear that I may open up another can of worms that I just cant deal with right now. So for the protection of my children and myself I just wanted to get this off my chest, because I have seen that everyone else here is struggling with something similar to my situation. It is not a fun road to be on nor is it easy. I pray to God every day for strength, I pray the armor of protection over my child every night. I know that justice will be served and I also know that it takes time. My child has not changed the story at all and it has been almost a year now. Children are forgiving and hopefully this memory my child has now will deminish as they get older. I leave it in God's hands and I know that he will help us through. Thank you Roger for starting this site, it is really good to know that I am not the only person going through this situation. Now I have some people here I can talk to and also may be able to help. God bless you all and remember have faith.


mum 4 years ago

l feel sorry for any one who has been wrongly acused of such a thing l did know someone who was acused of with his daughter it was not tru he took his life and we no that it was a lie the daughter admitted this,but l had to sit and listen to my children tell me that this scumbag boy told them he was the boss and mad them suck his penis and do his way with them l cant explain how heart wrenching this was for me words can not explain this boy confessed and still the court system has let my children down. This boy gets to live normally at school and has no restictions on anything he can and will do it again.The school if anyone should have a duty of care to tell parents that there child is sitting in a class with a child child molester we think our children are safe at school because it is the schools DUTY OF CARE to look after our children.Little Jonny can sew if he brakes his arm or someone calls him a poof what my case and millions more like me its just not that important .Make the scum do home tutoring or have a special school for the dogs.How many of these kids are in our comunitys our children arent safe what is this world coming to god help my kids kids.This boy was bought up by a single mum but her best friend is a male gay now this boy stays with him and she trusts them yeh opening a contravertial toppic but gay marriage and exceptance should not be allowed this child is bought up thinking its ok to be gay so l will do it to others my boys are scared for this so screw all you gay Bastards as well again l ask what is this world going to be like for my boys when there 25 and for my grand children Do not trust anyone 100% any gut fealing even the smallest of concern go with it no matter WHO it is


Pammycake 4 years ago

My fiancé was arrested a week ago due to my daughter stating he raped her. Strong words. There were rape kits done and everything came up Negative. However he is still in jail. I don;'t know about the California law,. but does there have to be Physical evidence to send him to prison, or can they just take the word of a child? She hasn't even lived with us when this was supposidly happened, she was in Foster care due to CPS taking our child from a spanking. He is just being held in a county jail at this time on accusation charges... confused and need an answer on this, not sure where to turn.


alan b 4 years ago

Charges: 3 misdemeanors

$260.10 Endangering welfare of child

$130.60 Sexual abuse 2nd

$130.52 forcible touching

Case hinges on this:

My son 21 yrs;

Goes on FB connects with a girl who on FB is 17 in her profile;

My son invites girl to my home;

She comes over driven and dropped off by her brother or someone;

I meet her – she looks at least 17/18;

I ask her how old are you in front of my 23 yr old daughter-she replies 17;

I ask about school – she says she graduated;

She told this to me, my son and my daughter and my step brother – we all believed her and she looks 17/18 ish;

OK so far so good;

She stays over ONE night and nothing happens between her and my son apparently and I have to believe that for now;

She leaves and that’s it;

A few days ago I get a call from her father;

He asks me how old my son is;

I tell him 21;

He asks how old do you think my daughter is?

I said she told us all 17 why is there a problem?

He says maybe because she is actually 12!

I shrieked loud and apologized to him saying WHAT !!!

NO WAY!!

I tell him what she tells us about being 17 etc and later find out the Police know she lied and know she also had 17 on her FB profile and also said she looks older than she is;

We assure the father that she will not be coming here anymore or my son would have contact with her and then my son apologies to the father and we thought that was it;

Next day – 3.29.12 the Police come to our house and say they have to charge my son;

Now they then talk about a photo from a cell phone the father found on his daughters phone of my son and his daughter;

Apparently it is a FULLY CLOTHED photo with my son wrapping his arms around the girl from the back looking into the camera and his hand is on her breast outside her clothes;

So the police then say that’s against the law etc etc;

They tell us they know she lied and they are sorry;

IF my son goes down and makes a statement they will only charge him with misdemeanors and NOT D felony which they could charge him with;

He can go freely, no cuffs, in the car and make the statement and that would be it;

So we agreed and off he went to the station;

He makes the statement, comes back with three misdemeanor charges as above;

UNFORTUNATELY because my son is bi polar(not certified yet medically but we know he is) made the statement and mentioned that he has his hand on her breast on the outside of her clothes in this photo;

Thinking that he needs to tell the truth or what he is cohered into admitting from the police putting these words into his mouth to make the statement;

So now we have these charges ALL because of ONE picture and because this girl lied;

Now I find More evidence and my son fails to tell the police at the time he was making his statement that SHE sent him some nude and inappropriate photos to his cell phone from her home;

I then say WHY did you not say anything?

He said he was scared and DELETED the nude ones but kept three or four – I have them and they are half naked of her sent to his cell phone from hers;

I thought that now I have evidence against her as sending inappropriate photos is sextexting or against the law and I could call the police Monday and make a complaint against her?

BUT people are telling me NOT to show the police and contact a lawyer;

My theory is that if the father is presented with my complaint then he would drop these ludicrous charges against my son;

I have the fathers number and have tried calling him to speak to him but he does not call back or answer and if he knew the implications and about these other photos he would maybe understand and work this out and drop the charges;

I am in panic as my son is a green card holder and the misdemeanor charges of Sexual Abuse and forcible touching are deportable offenses under federal immigration law – under their law they are AF aggravated felonies so under any circumstance or outcome I cannot have a guilty plea to these – endangering a child is ok as this is not deportable – any plea bargain would have to be either drop those two and admit to the endangering or reduce or change those two to non deportable misdemeanors like unlawful imprisonment in 2nd 135.05 etc;

ALTHOUGH we do not want to admit to anything as we fell he is not guilty to all charges, we know the system and know that they will win whatever happens;

So our goal here is to avoid deportable offenses primarily;

Second is to try to keep the age of the girl out of the record of conviction and receive no more that 364 days in jail for any offense or plea bargain;

My son has priors – not of this nature though;


Theresa8055 4 years ago

My Fiancé and I just found out that back in July 2011 his daughter who is 14, told her Mother and Grandmother that her Grandfather had been molesting her for as long as she could remember. The Grandparents moved to Costa Rica about 5 years ago but they were out for their daughters wedding, my fiances ex. The Grandmother and Mother told the Grandfather to go back to Costa Rica instead of calling the police. We have now spoken with child services in two counties, the police and the rape crisis center. They have all interviewed the victim but have not bothered talking to the Mother or the Grandmother who are refusing to tell us where the Grandfather lives. The new Stepfather is as creepy as they come, he has already made my Fiances daughter feel uncomfortable that she has moved in with us, which is 200 miles from where she goes to school. She wakes up early every morning and her father takes her to school, its such a mess. The kicker in all this is that the Grandfather was an "elder" in the Jehovah's Witness religion and is being protected by them. In fact the Mother and Grandmother are protecting him because of this religion and has told my fiances daughter they have lost her to the world, that if she were to tell anyone they would what she did.


PedoSlayer 4 years ago

The Jehovah's Witnesses Organization is well known for harboring and protecting pedophiles within their clergy class as well as those of the rank and file. While they claim to have strict and rigid rules for disciplining those accused of pedophilia, the facts show that they DO NOT REPORT to the athorities. This is to protect the Organization from negative publicity which would counteract the preaching work they do going from door to door looking for new recruits and their children. The fact that the Grandfather mentioned above is an "Elder" is not surprising at all. He would know the policies within the church regarding pedophilia and would feel quite safe raping his Grandaughter know there would be little if no consequences. As for other family members knowing of the abuse and not reporting and for placing shame or guilt upon the victim daughter? Shame on them and they will certainly get what is coming to them. Press forward with law officials, be aggressive and persistent, contact news media and write public letters and notices exposing the Granfather, the Jehovah's Witnesses Religion and any Family or Friends that have protected this vile monster who preyed upon his own Grandaughter. Silentlambs.org is an excellent resource websight for exactly what has been described above. Prosecution and conviction is just a small piece of this battle. There is a plethora of avenues to take to expose the Grandfather and his sick religion.


Mrs feeling hopeless 4 years ago

My husband was arrested on Thursday at 8.30 in the morning on the way to work we live in uk. Apparently the police officer said there have been a few sexual assaults that have happened around this area and that his hair colour is the same ...... He could come voluntarily or be arrested he said he would go on his own accord as he has nothing to hide. About 2 hours later there is a search warrant outside my house and they tore my whole house apart took clothes as evidence and said they were looking for earrings.

Apparently they took photos of him and have sent his clothes off for d n a. And we deeply question he is now on bail till 26th April and has to surrender to the police station then.

I am finding this hard to come to terms with as I don't believe they would base this on just hair colour. Either someone has set him up, it's mistaken identity, the police are trying to rule people out, or he has done it. I am hoping it is not the latter.

We have been together 4 yours got married in September and have a 10 month old daughter. I will admit I haven't had sex since having my daughter but he has been fine with that and we get on really well. I can't sleep every knock on the door my heart goes funny. I am making myself ill and I don't know what to do. I feel so alone and I am doubting my husband and I feel bad.

No offence to him but he hasn't got the mental abillity to lie very well.

He is a type of person who refused strippers at his stag do hates woman and children wearing short shorts even tells kids to cover up as they will attract the wrong attention. He hates how woman always have to get naked in films he thinks it is pointless.

My head is completely everywhere I won't be able to afford our house on my own and will have to sort a hostel out for my daughter and men I don't want to be a single parent I hate doubting my partner of four years. Any advice will be appreciated.


araby 4 years ago

thank you for this post. Last May my 4 year old daughter told me that her step-father was touching her and having her perform oral sex on him. I asked her when he did this and her response to me was accurate and the only time that he would have had this opportunity.

I immediately called the police, CPS was involved, he was removed from the home and I got a restraining order, she was examined and there was evidnece of redness, soreness, and a swollen perianal area. My daughter saw a councelor for several months and when they felt there was nothing else they could do for her based on her age they graduated her knowing her red flags/green flag touches and such.

A prosecuting attorney met with me and they said that the good news was they were meeting with me because they had PROOF of crime and there would be further investigation on the case. And then one day they called and said that althought they had PROOF of crime they were unable to prosecute because they felt my daughter was too young and would not fair well in a jury trial.

Now I find myself in divorce court trying to protect my other daughter from him. I can protect my 4 year old from him since she is not his biological child. It is so frustrating to me that I have to fight this hard to protect her. I am not saying that he should never see her, I just want there to be professional supervised visitations until she is of age where when and if he molests her too, she will be listened too and he will be convicted.

The hardest thing about this is that the only people in the world who know the absolute truth are my daughter and my ex-husband. I know that as a mother I did the right thing, I listened to her and I believe her. HOWEVER, I sometimes feel that I didn't do the right thing.

Basically what the prosecuting attorney told me was that I didn't have enough physical proof. Basically I should have waited to report this crime until I did have torn membranes, a pregnancy, or blood. What I was told was that as long as a pedophile picks the right child of the right age and just "touches and rubs and doesn't leave behind good proof" that they will always get away with the crime. It is disturbing how many people have probably gotten away with this crime. And it is more disturbing that now this S.O.B knows he can get away with it.

What is also disturbing are how many people have lied about being molested or that their child was molested. Time and time again I have been accussed of lying to get what I want out of the divorce. He has nothing... NOTHING no money, no home, nothing so what am I to gain out of lying about this? I was told by my attorney that I am the FIRST female client he has ever taken on because he has seen so many women lie or have their child lie about this to gain things in a divorce, but he believes me especially since I have absolutely nothing to gain. Trust me having every other weekend off from one of my kids would be an awesome break! This is horrible and now here I am fighting to protect my other daughter because so many people have lied about this heinous crime... shame on them.

I wish there was a change in the law. There was proof but my daughter was too young to testify. She disclosed to me, my parents, a nurse, and her counselor but only told me more details (I had taken her to the police department when she told me and was talking up a storm, they turned me away and had me call 911... 6 hours later a Sheriff came to take my statement, by then she was done talking... thanks a lot police station I was at friggin 911!) I just think there should be some type of punishment for what he has done especially, especially since I was told that there was PROOF she disclosed she was and still is consistent, she is still scared of him and still talks about it. I just want him to be punished I want him to go to jail, he didn't even get a slap on the hand just a -good for you buddy you got away with a major crime and can probably get away with it again!

This consumes me. I have written legislators and the local news channels and problem solvers and it is shameful that no one seems to really care about the safety of our children. Many women and men have come forward and told me their stories about how they were molested, or their child was and every time the bad guy got away with it. Clearly this is an issue and clearly something needs to be done. I think if we continue to advocate for our children and all victims someday things will have to change. Good luck to everyone, I know I won't give up on protecting my daughter and hope that someday none of us will have to fight so hard to protect our children.


dennie 4 years ago

my 21 yr son has been arrested for lewd and licvios...This 13 yr old girl has said he was playing with himself will she was walking down the street..He was not even questioned,just a warrant for his arrest and a $40,000 bail..He was nowhere even close to where she said it happened..He was at his house with his girlfriend and 2 of his buddies.

This has already made the papers and is costing us 1000s of dollars..

Point is you get accused just by a childs word..


shad 4 years ago

i got this story when the parents put words into the childs mouth to say in court,all they wanted was to stay at our house for free after reporting my dad so they made such a framed case hoping for us to make a trade in with them in which they would withdraw the issue saying he is not the one who did it the one who did went overseas . Such case are happening nowadays.people are making money on such issues while at the expense of others anyone help me with this case


shady 4 years ago

so this it my dad is nw in prison they bribed the magistrate so we are appealing for the issue to go to high court my email is masedeweshadreck@gmail.com anyone help me


tasasha 4 years ago

Hi my friend has been with a girl a little before she was 16. They had sex like 3 days before she turned 16. Today she is 17 and he is 31 they are so happy together but the law found out that they have been together. They are not alowed to talk to each other till she turns 18 and the investgation is over. She will be 18 in less than 5 months. How can I help them so that they can be together again.


PTSDsnap 4 years ago

i was abused my entire childhood, since i could remember, my mother and father both beat me then from the time i was 6 until i was 12, by my mothers husband, my step-father, molested me, his son started in on me too when i was 10 - i am 36 now.

i called 911 friday night because of a domestic violence situation i was witness to...the couple lied and the police did nothing to protect her, i snapped, blacked-out, and evidently gave them a reason to charge me with 2 counts of assault...my step-father was a cop and used to cuff me when he would do horrible things to me...

so i tried to help someone, had a black-out breakdown, and now i have found that i am thinking about all that he put me thru... i want him to not be able to do this to anyone else...it has ruined my life more than i ever even realized...

i can't have kids because of his actions, i have serious trust issues and super high anxiety...

Do you think I can charge him? It happened in Maine,i now live in WA and i found him on facebook today, he is in AZ...his profile pic shows him with a child on his lap, it made me vomit...


Stacey 4 years ago

Hi I have a question. All the information I find is on the child molester themselves. My question is can a mother that had prior knowledge that the man she was moving into her home was a child molester. I would like to know can she be charged or held responable for any of this that happen to her children. The abuse went on for three years and one week after the child molester was arrested , she had a new boyfriend and it has only be four months and she is living with this new man.


adin 4 years ago

I sure hope you are not an attorney...

With the mentality of 'there is usually truth', in what a child states, is why false accusations are so hard to defend. Presumption of innocents means 'prove guilt', don't assume truth.


meagan 4 years ago

I am going thru this right now but i am not a victims parent i am the accusies wife. We are at 7 monthes now my husband is still in jail and i am so confused my head wants to explode. The child that is accusing my husband their family has left the state and now wont return any phone calls. I live in a county with over 500 convicted sex offenders and the population is 32,000. I am teriffed what may happen to my family i have two boys who want to know when their dad is coming

home.


Logan 4 years ago

Hello, It's scary that the ones who didn't do anything, are seen as deceiving little perverts. I am going through a false accusation right now. My brother is a MAJOR drug addict. Cocaine, bath salts, spice, ecstasy etc. Brags about doing all those too, but he is WAY stronger than me. Physically. He has put me in the hospital, tries to fight me all the time, and picks on me. Well one night he pours hot butter outside of my bedroom door, nearly breaking my friends neck, and laughs. Then I yell at him to clean it up, he throws crap at me. A few minutes later I come out and he's written "Logan rapes boys" "A molester sleeps here" "Arrest the pervert!" "Logan's a psychotic pervert!" all over the walls ruining childhood photos etc. Well I tell him he has problems and he attacks me putting me in the hospital. He claims he was going to kill me. I couldn't fight back obviously. He also breaks stuff in the house, throws coco powder on the floor laughs when he forces my grandmother to clean up his messes. He's provoked my other brother into a fight where John then claimed Austin attacked him, and got him charged with assault on a minor. He's pulled knifes on me several times, threatened to kill me and other, claims everyone in my family is on drugs, smuggles drugs, are perverts and try to kill him. Idk what he's telling CPS, but he's been telling my grandma tons of crap over the phone and everything.

Now he's saying I've threatened him with knifes, and a sword...threatened to kill him if he had a girl friend, raped him in every room in the house and tried to murder him. Which he's already proven that he can over power me, and he DOES NOT back down from a knife, he fought someone who had a machete and wasn't afraid. Anyway he's exposed himself to my little cousins, jerks off like 3 times a day, claims he's done every sex position all because of me. Claims because he was raped, he had to have more of that stuff right there. I would call bull crap on that claim from anyone anyway.

I'm trying to show that he IS NOT an innocent victim. I'm the one who's pressing charges against him for assault, property damage etc, I found all his drugs and gave them to the police and ratted him out for years to my grandmother. He's also changed his story 3 times and I DO have witnesses to that, and many other outrageous claims. Like how he claims I recorded us having sex, but he burned the memory card. I told him if such a thing existed he should of kept it at least. :/

With all of this, CPS won't hear anything from my grandmother, or anyone. They won't speak to anyone and he can clearly show he's making it worse every time he tells it, so bad now in fact that no sane person should believe him. But CPS takes it seriously, every word. Now I'm screwed and too poor to defend myself against a little punk who's out for revenge. When Me, my other brother AND my friend told him it's wrong to claim false things against others he said,

"So, I don't give a fuck, I'll call silent whiteness." Yea...oh one last thing to top it all off, he threatened me that if he got arrested, or told on, or if I fight back if he wants to kill me, he'll tell CPS I "Molested" him. Right...

So If I seem like a deceiving sex monster after all that, I have no hope for humanity. It's become dumber than I though...he doesn't need protection, we were ALL afraid for our lives when he was in the house. But now I'm seen as the monster.

My WIFI is down so I go on a very weak signal across the street. Easiest way to contact me will be at,

Lcrandell0@gmail.com

I won't be checking on this page, sorry. :/ Just message me...


sigh 4 years ago

I posted on here sometime ago and lost the site but just found it again thankfully but I have to make a response to Pedoslayer. What you said is not true what so ever. My family is part of the religion you mentioned and when our family incident occurred they told us that if we hadn't went through with reporting it they would have to. I'm not sure where you are getting your information from but I can tell you first hand it is absolutely false! And it is very rude to bash other peples religion because reguardless of what we believe we are all still people. And I can sit here look up some information about other religions and child molesting/rape cases just to further prove a point but I won't (probably proved it already).


bacchys 4 years ago

Explain Wennatchee, Bakersfield, the McMartins, and the Amiraults under your story here.

It doesn't match what numerous cases have shown: a person can be convicted of sexually molesting a child even when there is zero evidence other than the testimony of the child.


Tabatha38345 4 years ago

My daughter come forward to me on Feb 12, 2012. That day well night will be one I will never forget.. It was 705pm I'm walking into the kitchen when she breaks down and tells me she needs help that she can't do it no more. I proceed with what I was doing and told her to keep talking when i noticed she was crying. I sat down in the chair and had her come set down in front of me where she hestiately began telling the me heart wrenching details of what had been done to her on several occassions.. I became so angry then so sad my daughter had experienced the one thing in life I had been threw myself that I prayed everyday she'd never go threw.. I attempted calling her dad and my family to come to the house.. boy was that a mistake.. My family disowned my girls and I because the person that did this to my daughter is my nephew.. We've been going back and forth with the district attorneys office where they are wanting us to dismiss the case with hopes he will confess before statue of limitations run out after she turns 18. I've been furious with this because I am a victim of child rape and battery and my predator never got charged cause they knew all the right people at that time. So now I'm wanting them to push this in front of the grand jury and get a true bill.. yet they tell me its more less his word versus hers.. Personally I don't care because I want to fight for my child til theres nothing left and show her I did all I could for her to get her justice and not feel the rest of her life like I have known I didn't get that chance or voice.. I would like to know if anyone has any advice or knowledge that may help or just words of wisdom??


colorado 4 years ago

My children were molested by a husband and wife who were our neighbors and baby sat our children. They have a son who was about 19 that also sexually abused my children. The woman is well known in the community because she is in the theater everyone thinks she is sweet. My children were babies, 5 and almost 3 when they mentioned some of the abuse that was taking place and what HELL we went through after that day. Not only were these people not arrested but yes the did deny doing any of it and they hired a lawyer the very next day and were never questioned or interviewed. The DA did say that it would be very dif. for a jury to believe because they are white and a woman is involved! WTF. They finally moved away but my children esp. the oldest has flashbacks and it's devastating. Why are there so many child molesters everywhere? Yes, I said everywhere. Because they are not being held responsible for their crimes, the laws make it almost impossible and only a % of victims even report. They are molesting and creating molesters, however I want to state that I do not mean that every one who is molested goes on to molest....NO. But the son of this couple was clearly molested by his parents, they also have a daughter who was the initial babysitter who brought my children to her parents home. It disgusts me that this family still lives with in an hour from me and they are not all in jail. It is very true, if you are a child molester and you touch little boys and girls and babies, all you have to do is say, "No, I did not do that" and then turn around and hire a lawyer and refuse to take a lie detector test. Oh, and another thing that this woman does is to tell everyone that my husband and I made up this story and that we are crazy. Again, it makes me sick to my stomach that these people are not in jail. My only hope is that someday the daughter will come forward and tell the police what her mother and father do to children, and what they did to her and her brother, my only hope is that justice will be served. My advice to everyone, please start while your children are babies ....always tell them that no one is allowed to touch them, that they should tell you right away, even if it is someone that they know, even if it is someone who is a friend. The truth is, it is most often who you would least expect, someone you have known and trust.....believe me. Go tell your children now, no matter what age.


thunder river 4 years ago

Tabatha, I want to tell you that I know your pain. Words of wisdom: love your daughter, as much as you want to hate the perpetrator and anyone who seems to take their side, ignore them, do not talk to them, cut them loose. Turn it around, take all that energy and love your daughter to pieces. Definitely seek counseling, it is too much to go through alone. And lastly: Know that there is a special place in hell for people who touch children.


MOM 4 years ago

Two months ago i received a call that my son how have ADHD and language problems was banged from his gym class becausee he pushed a boy and don't say excusme , 2 months later our son tell us that days after the incEdent the counsoler say that he can't go because this 3 same kids accused him of molesting TO one of theM touching him in a inappropiated way which my son DENIED AND complains and teacher don't listen to him SAYING THAT THEY DON'T TRUST HIM .

HE TRY TO EXPLAIN About HIS PROBLEM With one of this 3 boys has been bullying him since last year calling him retarded, mental, gay, stupid ,idiot, and more..

THE MOST STRANGE of all this is that the school never tell us about this acussation; today i went to the school to know more about this matter and they tell me that the counsoler was going to call me to explain to me more detaIls about this, and when the counsuler call me he said that HE was going to let Alec join the lockers room again and never explain why he don't let us know about this before making excuses that my son should be more polite and have better manners to say excuse me or pleease.

the worse part is that my son is so frustated because this bully is spreading the molesting history all around the school and almost half of the school knows about this incident this is affecting him a lot,

WHAT SHOULD I DO AS A PARENT TO HELP AND PROTECT MY SON FROM THIS INCIDENT AND DON'T LET HAPPENED AGAING


michellewagle 4 years ago

i was molested as a child by my step uncle. He spent 6 years in prison for sexual batt. on a different minor back in the mid 90's. I was never able to bring myself to turn it in and 20 years later he has done it to my 4 year old. well before she told us because she was scared he had done went to jail for other charges. I reported it to the police and they reported it to DCS. I have been dealing with DCS for over 2 months now. I have done everything and all doctors appts they have asked me to do. They came back and said it was substantiated and got me for neglect of enviorment of my child do to the fact i had let my child around the uncle and i had knew about the past. They are putting me through pure H*ll over it and making it out to be my fault. How can i get help i was never about to get help for myself how can i get justice before he really hurts or kills alittle kid


everything is screwd 4 years ago

bacchy's you are completely correct. They convicted my brother yesterday when no one believes he did anything even the people in the courtroom looked shocked when the judge pronnounced him guilty I feel like my life is heading into a hell hole. I'm not sure what will come of this but I will try to keep positive its sad that a lot of young kids don't know how serious this issue is and how it can ruin many lives.... smh the court systems failed me


mum 4 years ago

hi all, my son whom is 10 yrs has recrntly told me has been sexually abused and raped my my 14 yr old step brother 7 times over the last 3 years. im doing my best and have made statements ect. to police but the 14 yr old is deniying all allegations and living a completely normal life as his parents have been told by councellors to keep his life going as normal for time being??? wat the? my son is getting appropriate help as am i but this is becoming very hard and devestating for myself and the destoryed family situation. Can any one give me advice on what i can do from here to try and get a little justice and make sure this boy cannot hurt anyone else and get punished for wat he has done to my son ??


Sad 4 years ago

PTDSSNAP. Don't matter where he lives or u check the state it happen in there been people file charges 25-30 years after the abuse each state different get your justice


alikzandria9395 profile image

alikzandria9395 4 years ago from Texas

I have to say that we have always had faith in our justice system...until now. My husband has always been a law abiding citizen and never received anything more than a couple of auto tickets (which he paid right away). He took anywhere from 18 to 24 credit hours in college (yes, he is one of those that made the dean's list every semester with very little studying) while working full-time (night shift). He got his music education degree (and now has the certificate to teach P.E.). When we moved back to TX he was subbing for a school district (with no complaints or problems at all) then worked fast food. He was waiting for a music teaching job to open up. Our daughter, 15 at the time, had a friend that was always over at out house (very troubled, lived with a relative, even lived with us for a brief stint) and told us on numerous occations that she thought of us like her parents and she wanted to be "part of our family" and have a relationship with us the way our kids did. A week later I was asked to come talk to a friend of her family with my daughter. She told me that this girl, our daughter's best friend, was accusing my husband of "touching" her. Long story short, she changed her story numerous times (even said he never actually touched her "there", kept changing the story entirely, kept changing what she was wearing, the fact that she said he did this around 1 am, that she was "thinking she was dreaming so she kept trying to go back to sleep"...etc) and couldn't even get the story straight while she was on the stand. Yes, it did go to trial. Our evidence proved he was not home until close to dawn and we had eye witnesses (it was our son's 17th birthday) including our daughter who was talking to her dad when he got home from work about boyfriend issues (she wanted to stay up to talk to her dad when he got home), I was also still awake because he worked nights and I just didn't go to sleep until I knew he was home...I know it is a strange habit but I am a night owl...anyway, NONE OF THIS WAS ALLOWED TO BE ENTERED AS EVIDENCE DURING THE TRIAL. The judge said it didn't matter what time it happened but the fact that it DID happen (judge has received awards for protecting children from preditors...it is no surprise that she made the statement that it DID happen before the trial was even over). Going back to his arrest, just before he was arrested the detectives told everyone on our street who he was, which house he lived in, and that he was going to be arrested for sexual assault and rape of a minor (that was NOT the charge at all...he was being charged with "indecency with a child"...which sounds bad I know, but is much different than what they said...the girls friend's mother worked for that police department), had their gun to his head in our front yard until he was in their vehicle (he was not resisting in any way and was not even talking except to ask if he could at least let me know what was going on...I found out about all of this by he neighbors and my husband later on), and the detectives came in and banged on my door letting me know they were there and to come out (I was in bed at the time) so when I got up to get dressed the detectives opened up my bedroom door. I, to this day, don't know how long they were at my door or if they came into my room while I was sleeping. The local online paper (before conviction) published his name, personal info, address and a MAP TO OUR HOME on their website. The jail also took away his insulin pump (the shots no longer worked so the VA put him on the pump) and refused to give him any insulin for around 7 hours or so while he was in processing. Anyway, he was guilty the second he stepped into her court room before any trial had been set. Even though our kids didn't make any accusation against their dad, after the initial arrest last year and had not had a trial at this point, my husband was given the exact same conditions as a CONVICTED sex offender except he didn't have to register or take S.O rehab classes. He was estranged from his family (me and the kids) meaning if our daughter was at home he could not live there or have any contact with her whatsoever (we assumed contact meant talking, Internet, texting...apparantly the judge thought differently and that he was not allowed to be on our property at all which we found out later when she summoned him to court and had him arrested for breaking his bail conditions...he did everything he was supposed to but no one ever explained that 'contact' in the legal sense meant something entirely different than what the public thinks is 'contact'). I had back surgery and our daughter had to stay with a friend so he could come home to take care of me and because of that (if she had to come home to get clothes or whatever he would leave the room or go outside until she left which I was always there as were our son and his friends...we were told no one under 17 could be at the house so I posted a sign in the front window stating no one under 17 could be there...if they showed up to see me or our son, Jim would either lock himself in our bedroom or go somewhere else until I told them to leave...he never had "contact" with anyone under 17...come to find out the judge said no one under 18 and he was not allowed on our property which was NOT what was on the conditions list we got from our attorney and yes family paid a lot of money for our attorney and we would have been better off with a public defender or even my husband representing himself would have produced a better end result). I know I said long story short...but believe me this IS short. The judge let the jury go home on a Thursday (not sequestered, but go home to their families) and had them return the following Tuesday to hear closing arguments and then render a verdict. It took less than 15 minutes(ish) for them to find him guilty. They asked for a copy of the transcript but the judge would only let someone read them parts of it. The jury also sentenced him to 10 years probation and if he violated it he would spend 8 years in state prison. The judge also ordered 4 more months in jail, sex offender rehab classes (and "IF" he does good he might be able to come home), 150 hours community service, register as a sex offender for life (not see his daughter until she is 18 and not see any of our grandchildren until THEY ARE 18), he cannot work anywhere that employs under 18 kids OR places that under 18 year olds go/eat/hangout (including, but not limited to: church, the mall, swimming pools/amusement parks, parks, schools, theaters, places to shop including grocery or Walmart type stores, etc.), can't live within a certain distance from any park or school (he will miss our son's high school graduation because of this and our son was never supposed to even go past kindergarten due to pdd nos and sensory processing disorder and now he is graduating on time and with his 'main-stream' class...meaning he is no longer in special ed classes he is just like any regular kiddo), and no apartment complexes due to there being children there. He is basically under house arrest (unofficially...because of all the restrictions he is placed under). Our neighbors look differently at me and our kids now, just imagine how they will look at my husband? This all happened because a girl was jealous of the family our daughter has and she wanted attention from her own family. It was based on a lie, rumors, and assumptions. All the prosecution had was her "story". My husband's civil rights were trampled all over and violated by our justice system. Do we feel that we can trust our legal system? Absolutely not. We are not the only ones this has happened to. It happens more often than the public thinks (or wants to think). The legal system has control over society and they obtained that control by instilling the fear that there is a sex offender around every corner. They plaster the "offender's" info, including home address and place of work, on the sex offender registry for anyone to see. Hence why there are so many 'vigilantes' that not only attack the "offender" but they also harm (physical attack


whatdoidonow 4 years ago

dear mrs. hopeless 4 years don't mean anything sweety as i said earlier i was with my fiancé for almost 10 years now im finding out hes been touching in what ways i don't know yet. but for like 2 years now. i gtrusted him and its ok to question his innocense or not you are right they are not going to arrest him and search your house over his hair color im sorry good luck to you. best wishes


karen 4 years ago

i was raped by my sisters boyfriend when i was 15 years old.i had a baby by him and had to give her up.she is still alive today.i have suffered many years because of what he did to me can i still file charges on him and sue him for what he did to me .i have proof i was raped by him she is alive today


karen 4 years ago

Yes u can still file charges contact DAs office in state this happen most states it's 25 years after victim turns 18 good luck


Justice for children 4 years ago

My child was molested by senior judge Byron kinder in Jefferson city. To date nothing has been done because he is a judge! My child has suffered but Jusge Kinder still sits on the bench. That's our legal system . Power and money .... He is above the law.


Believe the Children 4 years ago

My nieces were sexually abused by my sister's husband....

their so-called step-grandfather....of course he says they're lying and he got 2 members of my family to believe him. He was arrested and was denied bail. He now sits in jail (where he belongs) waiting for a trial date. He messed up my nieces's lives.......! And our families' lives. I just want him to be put away forever and not see the light of day until it's judgement day

for him and God. I keep praying that God will help our the girls and our family. He doesn't know how many lives

he's destroyed by his nasty actions. May he burn in HELL!


Rebecca 4 years ago

I don't know what state you live in but in CA it IS as easy as "the child says it happens and you end up in prison!" In the case I was involved in she (the kid) couldn't even tell the jury when or how she was molested just that she was and she slept through it and that is why she "blocked it all out". Lucky for the prosecutor in this case that's all you need because in California THE TESTIMONY OF THE VICTIM ALONE IS ENOUGH TO CONVICT (this was the instructions to the jury word for word).....so my question was "why even have a trial?" I know there are real victims and this is such a sensitive subject for people but there are also way too many false accusations for this to be ignored forever. Kids aren't what they use to be and I don't believe any longer in "kids don't lie about this stuff" mentality. Kids kill, kids rape, and kids will sit and lie to a jury about daddy touching them....I know because it happened in my family!!!


Jcamp 4 years ago

I found out my grandkids 13 yr old half brother has been molesting both of them, a boy and a girl 4 and 3 yrs old. It was reported to dfs and were still waiting for the forensic report. Were shocked and so upset about this. Don't want my grands to have to keep living in the home with the molester, it's so heartbreaking.


goodgirl22 4 years ago

THE MICHIGAN PENAL CODE (EXCERPT)

Act 328 of 1931

750.520h Corroboration of victim's testimony not required.

Sec. 520h. The testimony of a victim need not be corroborated in prosecutions under sections 520b to

520g.

that is an excerpt from Michigan's Penal code. Sections 520b-520g are all in reference to sex crimes. So, basically, what it is saying is that no physical evidence is needed outside of a victim's testimony...no "Corroboration".

Now...you say that in Michigan...they require an investigation? Sure...they may "require" it, but that doesn't mean that they need to investigate much.

I am not from Michigan, but I thought I would look it up anyway, because I have had experience in CA with this kind of thing, and contrary to what people might think...it is REALLY easy to convict a sex offender if that is what they want to do. Anyone accused of a sex crime is most often presumed guilty before innocent. That is just the nature of that kind of crime and the stigma that is associated with it.


daddyslittlevictim 4 years ago

First i just want to say to michelle... i think you should be going through hell and you don't deserve to have your child at all!!! If your uncle molested you, what the hell are you doing bringing your daughter around him?? YOUR SICK!!! I was molested by my father when i was little, i didn't get flashbacks till i was 13 and they weren't very detailed... good for me but unfortunitly not good for the courts!!! Anyway to make a long story kinda short. My parents divorced when i was 10 an my dad got a new girlfriend with 3 children. They were a lil older and he did not do anything to them. When i started getting flashbacks i told my mom. She belived me, but we told his family members an that was they pretty much cut me out of the family. So when i was 30 my 21 yr old cousin contacted me tgrough facebook an told me that my father did the same to her. She had just had a baby and her flashbacks became very vivid after giving birth. Horrible for her, but good for courts.we talked for awhile an she decided to press charges. This was last august. He had to take a lie detector and they asked him if he molested me, if he molested my cousin, and if he molested other children. He answered no to all tgree questions an he failed all three questions. Before this his family really had me thinkig iwas crazy. Deep down i knew i wasn't though an i really never thought this would have happened to her, but in a way it saved my life. For a couple days i just had to sit there an keep telling my self" you are not crazy, this really happened"!!! Before this i always just figured he i couldn't do anything an he would have to answer to god one day. Anyway as of now he has been arrested an he has 14 life sentence counts againt him. He still has to go to prilimanary and then to trial if he doesn't plead out, but if he pleads out he will still get at least one life sentence count against him. Im kinda upset about tge fact when i was younger an before this happeed to my cousin nobody belived me an it was just easier to cast me out of the family. If they would have belived me this would have never happened, but then again if this wouldn't have happened he would have i would have never got justice on earth because i didt have enough proof. And of course there are the children that he was a weekend father to that don't belive he did this an still let him around their children an alone too. I guess they will learn an i hope their childrens lives being ruined isn't the end result. Thank you for this site and thank you for reading my story...


Dorreen 4 years ago

How about when an adolescent female who has 2 gay female parents and mental health problems of being a cutter accuses a college boy of sexual assault a year after the apparent event. The boy met her at a convention and hung out 2 times due to the girls interest. The girl tells him she is a senior in high school when she is not and is really almost 15. He is from another state. He believes she saw him with his current girlfriend on face book and is jealous. He denies anything serious other than chatting on face book and twitter. Is this manipulate girl going to convince a court? She is apparently a star on the debate team in highschool and is an only child. This passive college kid has already been charged for probably cause. Why would a court want to do this on this girl statement and on facebook does look around 18 or older


lisa 4 years ago

Remember there are teen liars out there. They know what they are doing and the trouble they can cause an innocent person. For someone to be labled a sex offender when they are not one pisses me off.


Tammy 4 years ago

I was molested from the age of four by an Uncle. Then my brother started at age 12 until 16. It is my word against his. My uncle, God is rectifying the situation far faster than I. My brother, it is pushed into the closet and I KNOW that he is still messing up childrens lives. Am I evil for judging him?


Ashley 4 years ago

My boyfriend is being accused of molesting his best friends 14 yr old sister. he is 24. She is saying that he went into her room one night after everyone went to bed and made sexual offers and touched her. He admits to entering her room (which was actually her brothers room, so obviously he didn't enter with intent) for a guitar pic. She was texting a friend and made an inappropriate comment about said friend being sexually active. He out of consern for this sister-like figure, asked if she had done the same thing? They spoke a moment longer and he left. He did stay the night there because i had to work early.

In my presence this girl was wearing provacative clothing and bouncing around, appearing to look for attention.

I do not believe this girl. She still has his pictures on facebook and is still friends with him via fbook. if you were so traumatized then wouldn't you cut off all ties? Also she spoke to me and said "im sorry hes in so much trouble, i think he should be in trouble but not that much. "

ill admit, this girl doesn't look 14, doesn't dress 14, is constantly around us while we drink. (* i think the mother should hold some responsibilty for the accusations, seeing as how she lets her child be in and encourages a collage age/party aged/drinking enviornment*)

Ultumatly i feel as if this girl had a crush on my boyfriend, created a sexually stimulating conversation and then when she actually felt the intense rush of first time adult conversation got frightened.

anyways im ranting... im just so scared. I know he didn't do it, he has a little girl of his own and would kill someone for hurting her. I cant bare to lose him.

any advice over how i can help his innocence be proven as well as find resources to help pay up. (* right to a fair trial is a paid for benefit*)


Jonathan 4 years ago

Sorry I haven't read everything above, but this whole thing seems to be founded on a false premise: if you are seeking to "convict a sex offender", that is labeling somebody as a "sex offender" before a finding of guilt, are you not *presuming* guilt?

A courtroom trial is meant to be the most rigorous investigation into the facts possible, and given the potential effects on the lives of the individuals involved often will be. If the evidence is strong enough that child molesters are clearly getting away with things they shouldn't, then why are juries letting so many people go? The truth is that if the evidence is inconclusive then neither the jury nor you can be certain, no matter how much you a priori want to believe that a defendant is guilty.


Dennis Teel 4 years ago

What angers me is the fact that while it's true that molestors do not just suddenly stop molesting for years at a time.(they continue,they don't just stop)!! i've heard about people being prosecuted after being blamed for one incident that supposedly occurred 10,15 years in the past.that's BS...if that person only molested once that long ago then this person isn't a molestor . if the only proof is the word of the vicctim who makes the claim ,without any proof otherwise,it's hearsay..empty accusations//but yet i know for a fact that people have been convicted on hearsay that an incident occurred years ago //i'd love to know how this happens..but it does!


motherofchild 4 years ago

I am in a situation where a man has been indicted for sexual assault of a child (this is no easy feat - getting this indictment) - they don't pass those out without pretty convincing evidence. Personally, as the mother of the child - I know it happened. If he pleads or whether he goes to trial and is found guilty I am being told he will get probation. Is that really punishment for a child molester? Why are our laws so lax in this regard? If I had known the hell I would go through by reporting it, I would have hired somebody to kill him instead.


godmother 4 years ago

I agree with motherofchild!! ^^^^^


kookalaka1 4 years ago

I am perplexed as to why My daugther's sex offender ( My husband) was indicted by a grand jury in Maine and has yet to be arrested? his trial starts the end of June. Can anyone help with some advice? I am going crazy knowing this SOB is out there around other children:

Dear Mr Lepage (Governor), I am in dire need of your help. My husband was indicted by a grand jury for molesting his biological daughter and trial is set for end of June. Here is the kicker. He was NEVER arrested. In fact he is running free in the State of Maine since Dec 1 2011. I am extremely upset that this man is free to walk around and perhaps molest other children. His court home address reflects he is NOW living with his brother who has a child in the home that is living with an accused child molester. Please Help me understand the law? I feel this is a cover up by the State. Any other State that indicts a person for molesting children are incarcerated with bail set.


motherofchild 4 years ago

Are you sure he has not been arrested. In my case, the arrest, arraignment, setting of bail, bail set and paid all happened in one swoop and the guy never saw the inside of a jail cell. In Texas, you can go to the county sheriff's website and see if there is an arrest warrant. I bet they have something like that. When there is an indictment, that goes straight to the sheriff's department and an arrest warrant is issued.I can almost GUARANTEE you he will not go to trial in June. This one I am speaking of the outcry occurred in November 2010 and we are just now (probably, maybe next time, maybe next week, soon soon soon) going to trial ...


Desperate4Prayer 4 years ago

My son just talked to his counselor about his dad and his father's friend molesting him. Over the weekend, his dad was questioned by social services. Again my son was questioned today. (Now I have to be questioned tomorrow.) When I spoke to my son and asked him how he is doing, He said, "Mom, they don't believe me." My heart is broken and I am really worried for my son. Please pray for us. I desperately need the truth to come out on this situation and protection for my son.


Kathi 4 years ago

There is absolutely no Justice, or protection, for the children and family of incestual sexual abuse. Blame Blame Blame! Sick mess, wondering why my poor daughters were ever taught to speak their truth. SAD MESS


anonymous 4 years ago

I am married to a 85 year old pedophile who molested his children and his grandchildren and my grandchildren. Most of his family knew what he was and they never told me. Oh yes one did and I didn't believe her as she is a nut case. She sent her 3 youngest children to be with us every weekend for 5 years and he molested the one boy in my basement for those 5 years. My son and his wife and child live in a house he owns and they were told the house would go to them. The sad part is he is evicting after all the money my son put into fixing up the house. He is divorcing me after I agreed I would take care of him because of his age and health. Now I will have to pay him to get rid of him. His actions are not considered in a divorce. My only hope is that he goes to meet God face to face first. My grandchildren are doing good but they have to get rid of their animals. My son just opened up a new business and renting a place on such a short notice was impossible. We finally found them a place on this side of the city where I live. To our good fortune I knew the owner from years ago and he let them rent it. They probably will stay with me for a week or so until they unpack the pod they rented for the move. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel and will get the girls into counseling when school is out. They still have not arrested him or charged him. He admitted it to cps and the police but because of his age and health they did nothing. When they first saw him he was in the hospital and very sick. He was not eating or drinking as he was trying to kill himself. Now he is a lot healthier so something may come of this. One of his children told me that there was a woman with her child there taking care of him. I never would have let a child near him. It is very hard when you love someone and then you find out something about them that makes you hate them. The mixed emotions are very hard to deal with. I give credit to all the women who kick the SOB out and try to get on with their life. My soon to be ex-husband was a hoarder and getting rid of all of his crap has helped me be free of a lot of the pain. I will probably be able to live on very little and will not have to toss out food because it is too old to use. I am able to clean my basement and my garage. It took a lot of man hours to get to this point and it feels great. I have very little contact with his family as I am so mad at them for putting my granddaughters at risk to be molested. His name is different then ours as I never changed my name to his and my house will not be on the sex offender registry. Good riddance to bad rubbish Reverend Yes that is correct Reverend


ConfusedFriend 4 years ago

My friend was accused 4 years ago by his ex-wife of molesting his ex-step daughter and his daughter. CPS was involved for almost a year and dropped the case. they found him to not be a harm to the children. then 4 months later her was arrested and was bailed out. His ex-mother-in-law was teaching the oldest girl good touch bad touch and said that she told her some things but has never liked my friend. The man from cps didn't write anything down when he went to his house and talked to him and later got fired for lieing. he is now in the army and the court says they are waiting for him to return before they have a court date. its been over 2 years since he went to jail and hasn't had a court date since. in the cps papers it said the girls missed their daddy and wanted to know where he was. the girls were around the ages of 1 and 3 when this supposedly happened. there was no physical evidence and the girls never talked about it after that. he now gets supervised visits with his daughter and she show no signs of anything. how long does it usually take from the time he went to jail before he will have a court date and something done. He knows his ex-wives family made it all up so that he couldn't get the kids in the divorce. How long does he have to wait for a court date before they drop it. They don't have enough evidence.


keeanna 4 years ago

on may 9th i was arrested without hand cuffs because my 14 year old stepson said that sexually molested him when he was 11 years old... i remember when he was 11 he was never around because his dad and i moved around quite alot and knowing what a terrible human being his mother is she might have molested him herself because she loves to have sex so much with both men and women the impression i get from the dad that's why they broke up while she was pregnant with him... my court date is set for the 31st of july without any froof whatsoever but i'm out on bail until then... the little boy who i cared for ever since he was 6 yrs old is standing by and watch me suffer and although she can be cruel i never once disrespected her when we spoke it was only about the boy, she could not keep a job and she would have sex with her bosses and i gave her money for medication to help her cure an std she had still has it because up to the other day the boy said when he held her around her waiste in a hug position he smelled something reaaly bad, although he told me i didn't answer him, i told him to talk to his dad about it. His dad told him that where she pushed him through that's the place that is rotting. i heard this and became disgusted although i knew before... would cry on my shoulder as a little boy and said how much his mother would leave them alone at nights with many different men, oh yeah she has 3 kids for 3 men and none of us (the girlfriends and wives) of the fathers, like her because if she can't get her way with the dad's she would try to get her way with us like she ran things... i remember she called my hubby knowing that we lived to together and that we were going to get married telling him that she wanted to live with him and send the other two to live with their dad's and they both could raise their child together... how do think that made me feel after all i did for her and all that time she was plotting against me... she lives with an aunt of hers and telling me how the woman was Bitch, after the woman let her into her home to live. anywhere she could find us she would try to embarrass me until one day she came to my home and i drew two knives at her determined to cut her deeply... no i did not do it.... and look what she did do me but she is going to feel my wrath one of these days man, just knowing how she is slandering my name and she knows i have a much better character than her and living a much more comfortable life she wants it! the battle has begun but the war is not yet over! "vengeance is mine said the Lord," and i shall have my day! children do lie and money is his motivation and he cries whenever he does not get his way...we missed one year out of his life from the time i knew him and that was when he was 11 yrs old, boy they can't even do math much less lie properly. i pray everyday that Jehovah will take me out of this darkness but i will never forgive them much less forget! thanks


Lee 4 years ago

Just recently I discovered on my step-daughters cell phone some text messages where she told a male friend at school I had touched her twice last week. She is 13 and I've already proven to her mom that she has lied before about events. She even lied to her mom saying she never said I touched her to anyone yet I read the messages where she said just that. I have photographed the text messages to keep to show her mom and real dad in case she gets ahold of the phone and deletes them.

A month prior she tried to trick her mom into letting her live with her boyfriends family for the summer and was mad cause her mom and dad both said no, even after I voiced my opinion about it to her mom.

I've been a little harsh on her lately by not letting her spend the night with her boyfriend or him spending a night here, always questioning things, basically being a normal parental figure in general. But I'm worried that she's lashing out right now cause of how I am and I'm becoming a victim of her lies and tricks.

Her mom, my wife, told me she wants to give her daughter the benefit of the doubt even after all the times she lied to her. I have no problem going to law enforcement, seeking an attorney or anything as I live in Michigan. I'm just not sure what I should do or where I should really start as its still early in this.

Any advice on this would be appreciated.


shawnie76 4 years ago

I live in Oregon and my husband was charged and arrested by the police because my daughter (his stepdaughter) said that he molested her 2.5 years ago. There is no evidence, and her story has changed countless times. My husband also voluntarily took and passed a polygraph test...TWICE. Despite it only being her word against his, he was indicted by the grand jury. I hate to tell you this folks...but the DEFENSE DOES NOE GET TO BE INVOLVED IN ANY PART OF THE GRAND JURY PROCEEDINGS. They do not get to testify or even have an attorney present on their behalf. The only people that testify to the grand jury are the Prosecutor, the victim, and anyone else that the prosecution wants to testify. It is completely ONE SIDED. If you don't believe me, look it up on the internet. I had no idea our justice system worked this way. It is so wrong!!! Grand juries will indict 99.9% of the time because they only hear ONE side. Once indicted, the suspect is arrested and if he cannot make bond (which is usually VERY high upwards to 100,000 or more then he will sit in jail until trial) Mind you....he has NOT been found guilty of any crime yet. He could be innocent and have his life completely ruined at this point because he is sitting in jail for so long. If he cannot afford his own attorney, he will be appointed a public defender who generally works on these cases about 2-3 days before trial only. Don't think for one second that they need more than just the child's word and what she/he says to convict him. That's ALL they need. A person will have a better chance getting away with first degree murder than being accused of a child sex crime. At least in a murder, they have to have actual evidence and not just what someone says. This opens the doors for all sorts of abuses in the system and people using the system to settle vendettas, get rid of unwanted step parents, etc. In Oregon, you are also looking at a minimum of 70 months in prison (up to 300 months) for each charge. A single supposed incident such as he touched my breasts and my vagina will be broken up into two separate charges...thus, MORE time in prison. I'm not advocating that child sex abuses should get off easy or not be put in prison....but we should be VERY careful before we convict someone for so long with no real evidence besides she said/he said. And once again...there is nothing fair about the system or anything there to protect the wrongly accused. I was totally naïve and thought a "grand jury" was something special and fair and that they would not indict someone unless they heard both sides. Boy was I ever wrong. I just hope some kid who gets mad at me doesn't do the same thing to me!


need help 4 years ago

Do children have to testify in open court with the person accused (Their grandfather). They are telling me, I will be held in contempt if I do comply. They have it on video but, say the children have to anyway. My oldest son has bi-polar and behavioral issues before all this. I just want what is best interest for my kids does anyone know?


Feeling helpless--HELP 4 years ago

My son was molested by his Dad when he just turned 5 yrs old,12-31-07 he returned from his Dads ,My son was crying, running from me ,I got a hold of him and told him to tell me what's wrong.he didn't. I went to put him in the bath to get him cleaned up .I fought to get his clothes off and that's when I seen the blood in his underwear.I cleaned him up some and took him to the urgent care (mich) the Dr was aggravated .My son was very sick ! she asked me why I didn't bring him in sooner.I told her he was at his dads ,she told me that My son had a dipper rash,he did NOT wear dippers ! My son said "he hurt me" the dr said she was gong to call CPS. 22 days later I went back and said when is this CPS going to help us.they showed me to the door (the Dr forgot to report it) so I went to the police .they called CPS - CPS went to My sons school and asked do you like your dad ? my son said yes..Then my son came home and told me one of his dads friends came to his school to ask him if he liked his dad,and he told me he said yes..I told my son that was the LAW ! not your Dads friend ! he said what's the law ? (HO GOD! I thought!) dad told me not to tell ..the case was dropped.The dad vanished .at the end of 2010 I went to the courts to try and terminate parenting rights .WRONG!..2011 the judge said dad takes My son on Sat 12:00-6 pm by the 5 th Sat my son just turned 8 and when he got home he tried to slit his throat and went into a hospital.he got out and CPS had a Care house interview but my son was too afraid to talk. 6 months later and another suicide (tried to hang him self) after the Judge told me one hour visit where ever I wanted with me to supervise .My Son was finely ready to talk. no one wants to hear it now.The 3rd time the judge had us do another one hour visit last Dec ,My son tried to drink bleach (now he's 9) back in the hospital 3 time..May 9th the judge said one hour visit are my sons counselor ,it lasted about 10 min ,my son broke out cry and told the dad he hurt him and then went into details.counselor told the dad to leave and you can't come back ! I reported to CPS they rejected it.the counselor reported it now weeks ago.By May 13 my son again tried to hang him self.and went into,he said when he sees the dad he stop seeing the things he did,so he wants to die.the hospital reported it..I still havent heard anything.the judge wont stop ! he keeps making the child go to see this guy ! how do I make this stop ??? HELP !!


concerned grandma 4 years ago

My 5 year old grandson who is living with me started making statements after a recent visit to his dads. The description is of some kind of device being used on his penis and he said it happened several times. He has repeated the same story 8 or 10 times in detail. Counselor believes him as do I. How is the quickest way to protect him (legally) and what can I expect as this progresses.


bundleofnerves 4 years ago

My ex-girlfriend very nearly had me arrested for possessing child porn. Said "child porn" was an erotic story I wrote where an underage me was being abused by an older woman. I had written this because I both prefer older women (my ex is 32 and I am 28) and have long entertained age-play fantasies as the younger participant. I also thought I'd thrown this story out.

My ex called me at work, screaming at me that I was a goddamn pedophile and that she was going to call the cops. I broke down into a nervous heap in full view of my boss and coworkers. The only thing that saved me from arrest was my ex's kinky friends explaining that, because I wrote about myself as the younger one in the story, I probably wasn't a pedophile. I still moved everything of mine out of the house that night, because I knew she was capable of making false accusations and had been perfectly willing to ruin my life before.

False accusations can happen, is what I'm saying. Especially if your turn-ons are not completely vanilla.


victim of abuse. 4 years ago

i need some help.. i was abused by my step brother when he was babysitting for me and my brothers when i was at the age of 8, i can still remember it to this day, 6 years later when i was 14 i finally told my mum, and she informed my boilogical father he didnt believe me and he still doesnt, his son ( not my mums) has still got away with it.

the police were informed when i was 14 but dropped the case a few weeks later all because there was no evidence i made a video statement and everything, i am now 16 and want to do something about this, i have councerlling and eveyrthing but nothing seems to be making me better, to this day i am still majorly depressed and emotional.

can someone help me with the options i could have, i hope there is something i can do for my futures sake. please help, asap, thankyou


Bonney 4 years ago

My daughter was sexually abused by her farther during her visitation hours in the library .when I went to visit er se told she ad blood in her urine .when I took her to toilet in marks I saw it .i got so confused and decided to take her to emergency .but left my son who is the vitrines to his case to my brother .on the way my daughter told me that her farther tickiles her from top to bottom and than put hand in her vv .i was very confused and she told the same thing in the emergency .they told they need to involve the social services and the Police .than they called the police and the doctors could see blood in the urine .the child protection services were involved and my daughter told the same thing .my ex was arrested and he is on bail and confidence that the library is overcrowded so he will be free of the carge .my daughter is going on saying that when he did there was no none in the library .a person who has done this to my daughter should be punished and kept behinfd bared .if you has done something than you should b punished.


Micayla 4 years ago

I'm 14 right now and owing through the process of this against my step brother (19) who molested me and my sister for 4 years and I can tell you it is very diffcult. Consdering he was part of the family so my father doesn't believe me but they have interviewed me at least 3 times since I told which was last month and they still have not made an arrest since he is in the army as of now it will take even longer for the trail to be completed and I'm going to thearpy but I must know is there any way to make it easier for me to trust people again because I have now horrible trust issues and want to ease them a bit since they have ruined friendships and relationships with the 2 boy friends I have had. So I please get back to me if you have a theatpist that might help or a website. Thank you lots.


cheryl cumberford 4 years ago

All of our stories have the same tragic ending. The predator is never prosecuted! Our family.has been seeking justice for two years for our two grandchildren assualted by their father and six other adults.We need these perverts held accountable for these hedious crimes.We need to shout out to our judicial system. Take it to the top! Their needs to be severe punishment. Make it public records. These are filthy perverted scum bags! Expose and punish them. They might think twice before they sexually prey upon an innocent child and rape their bodies,heart and spirits without a bit of remorse. Capital punishnment for them. Eye for an eye.They don't deserve to live!


margaret francis 4 years ago

My name is Margaret Francis. I always thought that anyone should be able to find justice. Whether and regardless if they are a child, adult, elderly,man woman etc.

I was raped and sodomized left for dead hit over the head with a hammer at the age of 19 coming home from work I was dragged into a warehouse, I have TBI, and I am an Alcohol substance abuse counseler.

My story was posted in Newday 1988. yet being an African American female and the other party on drugs I did not get much help nor support..

I currently take care of my mother, i work too jobs going to college writing my novel

Recently I had to go and save my brother

My brother was going out with a Caucasain female for six years she has a daughter. There is history of insect within the family. Suffolk county has turn a eye away from the drugs and alcohol that my brothers ex girlfriend does

She find out that my brother and I are in Surrogate court trying to straighten out my fathers estate

She see money

I tried to get my brother outhat house because I knew she has been married four times each husband drained dry, and accused of raping their own children

His exgirlfriend also take the SSI income from her children and husbands that - 1 has been deported 2nd one is in a mental instittution 3rd one is in a nursing home, the 4th one they said killed himself ( yet i think he got out in time.

All minorities

So on 12/23/11 I call my brother he tells me to come and get him Lisa has placed all his stuff out on the front porch he has not been staying at her house for a hot minute wants to stop using and for the first time in his life he is asking me to help him getb into a program.

Well I go out for the first time in my life to a place where no one listen to me, maybe this was because I lied inside a hospital holding on to life itself

When i get there I walk into chaos my brother has been arrested for Rape 2

Well I needed to do the right thing for once i called the police they came three to four cop cars mother was not home, little 12 yr old home with alcohol and cannabis

I was told by the police and given the 1800 CPS to file a report.

they help me pack my brother stuff I allow for them to search - nothing

drive home pick up my mom, get to court 12/24/11

they held my brother due to his past criminal record

I bailed him out on $75.00 instead of paying a quarter to a million dollar bail

I got a lawyer

They completed their dam investigation

I was right all along - the full report was in ---INCEST

I am going to get it in for

Racial Profiling

falsley Accused

Mental Angusihed

False imprisionment

I had the mother removed from her house

I had CPS from the main NYC come in

I had the child obtain a Psych evaluation

What I am trying to say to everyone is this

If you have been raped whether it is - consented forced, drug, at weapon point

You need to be heard

this 12 yr old is refusing counseling she has been having sexual intercourse with numerous family members and she is still with the mother who wrote the false statement to have my brother accused in the first place

What kind of message is that?


Posh 4 years ago

@Araby,

Be careful about your lawyer - he/she appears to be a Gardnerite! Richard Gardner proposed the concept of Parental Alienation which familial (fathers) paedophiles use to gain not only access but full custody of their (abused) children.

Your lawyer is ABSOLUTELY WRONG in stating that so many mothers have had their children lie about being sexually molested to gain an upper hand in divorce proceeding. That is a LIE! Studies that has been carried out in this area shows that false allegations in the context of divorce is extremely rare. In your case - your divorce was occasioned by the disclosure and not the other way round. Again even when children disclose after separation/divorce, it is not due to false allegations rather it is due to the feeling of safety they feel when they no longer live permanently with the abuser and therefore feel safer to disclose. Do not forget paedophiles threatened, trick and shame their victims to keep quiet about the abuse.

Watch your lawyer closely - if there are any signs that he/she is not fighting your corner viciously, you are being sold down the wrong road - it happened to me!


Katie 4 years ago

You catch a lucky break if they are in the army because the army will send their ass to a court marshal and they will be put in jail and striped of rank. My therapist said that's probably what will happen to my step brother who molested me and my sister for 4 long years.


endthenightmare 4 years ago

I agree with the fact that it is so easy to be charged with a crime you didnt commit,I' myself am going threw this process ,i was accused that i forceably held a teen down and had sex with her,I was a long time friend of the family and still cannot belive that this could happen to me , I was the person that always gave advice to the kid ,help the family with what ever they needed ,and this is the repayment i get , i lost my girlfriend, my life my name my job my friends my income and my sanity all runined untill this is seen in a court,no evidence, no proof no nothing ,just a girls word , i wish i could go into detail of my problem but due to the fact this is a on going deal i cannot go into detail, to those who have commited theres crimes yes they should be punished,but to those whom are innocent dissmission of the charges are a releif but how do you proceed with your life ? i have lost everything due to this situation , a aquital can bring u legal peice but its the emotonal and physical drain that this does to you is unbareable ,i say fuck u to all they women that make fase cases about men sexual assaulting them u just remeber your lie jus runind a good mans life and his name ......


nikki28 4 years ago

When I was a kid my best friends dad sexually assaulted me then said I was lying...it still makes me so mad & I have trouble sometimes with anxiety & flashbacks.. anyway in court they wouldn't let me in the court room to see/hear any of it except for when I was giving my testamony. I think it might help me to see how things unfolded and led to his conviction. I still feel more upset that after what he did to me he had the nerve to call a little girl a liar..a kid with no concept of sex or why someone would ever make something like that up. Anyway I would like to finally see the whole trial since I feel if anyone should b aloud to be in there and watch justice being done it should b the victim. This was 14 years ago though. Is it true that all court transcripts are distroyed after 10 years?


wyandotte 4 years ago

parents lie to cover for their own kids. a young girl said she was molested at daycare (the house I'm talking has no walls,open space). i was told when she got in the car (4pm) she stated she had blood in her undies. now why would you leave from the house, leave your other kids there and then call and say something 40 mins later. Go get your car fixed and wait until 11:30 to take her to the hospital. Still allow your other kids to stay at that house? now i must tell you the little girl had several stories. sounds like a cover up to me.

the detective goes and arrest the boy at school and makes him say he did it. told him that if he didn't say he did it he'd never see his parents again and would go to prison, of course that wasn't recorded. they took a swab and misplaced it, found it and then say we have his DNA. Sounds strange. You can't lose things like that and find it. Thats why they won't give up the chain of evidence.

Now I mind you the detective that was on the case had to resign because of corruption. What does that tell you.

Nobody has ever questioned that fact that she has a son in her home and a daughter that was accused of that same issue.

According to the sunflower house report she was Questioned about the boy that was arrested and never mentioned anything about him touching her, and was never asked anything about the brother that lives in the house but FREELY gave information about him opening her butt all the time. Now why in the heck hasn't this been looked into?

For the mother she has a history of making kids say what she wants them to say (foster parent) because she does abuse them. They need to check her history and see how many times shes been called on.

Wyandotte County is for a win not justice.


Darlene 4 years ago

Is it possible to get Justice and or Retrebution from a woman that alowed her husband to sexually molest her Daughter for the first 12yrs. of her Live? The Man is Dead now, but she lives!


Pedro Ibarra 4 years ago

the stupid law of Kansas told me that after 10 years been passed, there is NOTHING they can do about a pedophile case, kind of "warranty of social justice expired".This is what an officer told me, after I tried to bring this guy Marcos Franco, son of Otilia and Otilio Franco(whom also abused some of his own daughters, been one of them my dear wife) WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


me 4 years ago

wahhh !!!!!


4 years ago

check


Never, Dont give up 4 years ago

last year this guy i know that was 21 years old touched a girl that was 15 years old in the vagina area. how do i know this because he told me out of his own mouth because i was his friend. he said that one day he took the girl's moms boyfriend to a strip club and the girl went with them. but only the guy went in the club. so he and the girl went to mcdonalds while they wait for the other guy to finish being in the strip club. so while they were in the car with the mcdonalds food he said a bunch of shit to make it seem like hes a good guy so the girl would like him. they ended up kissing like for a while and while they were kissing he put his hand on her lap and went closer and closer to the vagina area when he did finally touch the area the girl said that she didnt want to have sex with him right now. now rumors around were that the girl was easy, u know like it was easy to get her to have sex with you. even at just 15 years old. but still he knew she was 15 and he was the one that tried to have sex with her so to me hes a pedophile. so i kept this secret because i was his friend but then i learned 2 months ago that he was going behind my back and dating my sister of 18 years old. im 19 by the way. this was happening since the begining of january so 6 months ago and i didnt want my sister to be with someone that would try to have sex with a girl that was under age. so when i found out about this i told him to stop dating my sister or else. but not only did he continue to date her he made her move in with him. so when this happened i told my sister about the 15 year old girl thing and she said she was going to ask him about it and when she did he said that it wasn't true. so right there hes lying to my sister, calling me a lire, and trying to turn my sister against me by making her think everything i tell her now is a lie. so after that happened i'm like ok so hes going to call me the lire well let me just tell the police about him trying to have sex with a minor and then lets see who the lire is. so i called the police and told them about this and they said they were going to look into it and call me back a week later, 2 weeks go by and no phone call so i call again and now they say that because right now the girl doesn't live here in the U.S. that they cant do nothing about it. i'm thinking like why can't they just call the girl where she is and ask her. i asked the girl over facebook if its true that the guy tried to have sex with her and she said yes, i still have the conversation that we had about this saved on my facebook. and that phone call to the police where they said they cant do nothing about it happened today. so now because they cant talk to the girl they cant do nothing and even if they did talk to her she would say that its not bad because she wanted to have sex with him but not on that day in the car in the mcdonalds parking lot maybe because they still had to go pick-up the moms boyfriend i don't know. so now i have nothing that i could use to send this guy to jail and now my sister is now living with a free to roam around uncaptured pedophile. i feel like the worst brother ever. each day that goes by that she is still living with him and he is still not captured is another day of hell in my mind. but im not going to give up. I GOT A PLAN.


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hairsheys 4 years ago

Hi,

Its been a month since I just had a problem like this I am a mother of a child whose 14 years old.(girl) thats has been sexually abuse.The reasons why i decided to tell this story is for me to gave idea if it is really possible if a child make a story that she was been molested or just making false accusation?

To begin with,I am a single mom with my daughter called her alms when i met my boyfriend or my living in partner for 10 years.My daughter was only 5 years old when he come into my life.He was the one who stand as a dad to my daughter and take care of her like her own baby.He took good care of me and daughter and descipline like her own baby.Before we lived in a place 30 minutes drive away from my parents place where only me,my daughter and my partner and a nanny inside the house for almost 3 years.After, we decided to go back home and stay at my parents house and live together and after 3 years it was 2007 of january when we had our own baby boy.My boy is already 5 years old now, and my daughter is 14 already.I thought that I have a very good family not perfect coz we do have problems come and go.My daguhter has a good relationship with my hubby cos we are always together hanging out except when my daughter commits mistakes,makes demand right away,tell a lies its my hubby who used to discipline her which i just thought that its okey coz she used to call her daddy already.When my daughter went into high school her attitude changes a lot we used to be called in school that my daughter has attitude problem coz she very manipulative and never help her classmates instead make commands to them which is the same thing in the house.Shes always been like this.but when shes out with her friends she shout loud and scream loud.So i thought she has double personality.And thats why we use to call her attention to the point my partner used to yell at her what the hell is she doing outside.We want her to be a descent young lady that we want too.I am not the one who is disciplinarian type i used to gave it the responsibility to my hubby coz he us the father of the house.So since my daughter is hardheaded she used to be scolded by us coz everytime we go home from school we always hear complains from her.But i always look that she is just a child and still a baby so i never thought that its all happen.

15 days ago,after hairdressing assessment i was shock when my sister want me to hurry up of getting up coz she has something to tell me that i might regret for the rest of my life.I was shock when she told me that my daughter told her that she has been sexually abused by my partner for 5 years every month..? I WAS SHOCK!!! and the more i was shock when the last contact was only last week thats my sister told me.I was shock it because how come it happens to her? I was shock coz i cannot believed coz everything she said happened in the school which is our business...in the shampooing bowl and AVR room.I am shock coz i cannot believed that its possible coz we have 1 staff at school aside from me and my partner and we have a lot of students inside.I stay calm and decide to talk to my daughter for lunch at the restaurant and stay calm and talk to her.I ask her and comfort her that whatever happened dont worry i am at your side just tell me the truth and im with you.I ask her how long it is already she told me long time when i was in japan 2007 after i bear my son i was in japan for almost 3 months.I just listened to her while i asked her how did it happend.She said that she my partner was watching phorno during that time and she was sitting on his lap while he told her to hold his penis at 10 years old.and last week was at the shampooing bowl morning.My feeling was so mixed confused and trying to flash back yesterday what happened of course i feel sorry for my daughter.But at the same time i ask her questions.1. When i was in japan where did you sleep every night? she told me she sleep with her step dad..2.When was the last contact and where? she told me that it happen in the school morning..She told me ,remember when you saw me I have mouth freshener with,daddy gave it after...so i said i remember that time coz i was the one who told daddy to buy some foods for lunch during that time right? she said yes thats it..I ask her again what time it happen? after you buy or after you buy foods? she said before they buy foods..daddy said lets just go to the shampooing area just a few minutes and she hold me in my hands that she cannot move..So i asked her why dont you shout when you know that i was there..She said that i cried after when i ride the motorcycle with him and when we come home thats why you saw the mouth fresherner...So, I flashback since it was just last week that happened.When i recall it was me who asked my partner to buy food for lunch..when he was about to go out my daughter was insisting to go with him and daddy said ill be right back dont go..but i saw her with my eyes running to him inside the school while her hands was looking for money inside his pockets coz she wwas asking money..and my parents in law was inside the school cleaning cos that was first week of class and we have our brigada with the students..I told her that it was just last week i can still recall so i told her what i saw when she ride the motorcycle and my partner said ~what? are you going or not? and then she run to the motorcycle and laugh...after i told her the i saw her she said right away change the time..no i forgot it wasnt that time it was the day when u gave me the etude lipstick..I didnt know what to say.speechless..About japan..she said she sleep with his daddy at night i told her as far as i know you daddy said that you sleep with mama house my real parents..so right away said yes its true but it happened in the afternoon..She insisted that it all happened in the school now when i said that its impossible coz there are lot of people in the salon she said again in the apartment where there are lots of kids also.sleeping in a queen size bed..my partner,me,my kids and one nephew.do ypou think its possible that even if i sleep that much in one bed my partner will try to harm my daughter?I get crazy what happened.I have no idea if i can make it.2nd day after we talk i went to my sister coz she get my daughter already...shes already freak out and yell at me and scolded my why do i need to interview my daughter? why i dont believed my daughter? she spit on me she spank me everything and told me to kill my partner.I dont know i really dont understand but i really dont feel that it happened coz we are so many in school and after school we are always together with my hubby...I told my hubby about the issue and he was schock and mad how come it happened this way...he recall that during the assessment time she scolded renzi of not cooking during that time coz she was busy shouting in front of the tv and he get mad she throw her the rice cooker and then all his fmily is in the house already living..which my daughter keep on telling that we are so many already and complain.after that this happened.When i inform him he told me that it was just last week...she ask me to go to the specialist doctor and let her examine and if its necessary i will follow to gave his semen for comparison.so i did.but doctor said we cannot have semenalisys coz its a week ago already.the issue is so hot so it was me and my parents in law who let him out the house or else he will be put in jail coz thats what my sister told me..he dont want to leave but we have no choice..

My daughter saw me crying but i saw her laughing out loud while playing computer games..is it a sign of being molested? when i ask her she just told me why mommy are you gonna die without him?I dont like him coz he used to scold me telling me what is right and wrong and hes old enough already but he did wrong to you before when she had a gf..that was a mistake that made my hubby a year ago..for nine year weve been together almost 24 hours..is it possible that she do it out of anger? jealousy? or theres some one behind her back?????

A question that just right away come to my mind our very close friend who just walk away ...


hairsheys 4 years ago

A friend,whome we trusted,who live in our house for a year and after a year who move other door.He is american friend.He is very generous,thats why he was here looking for a debt of gratitude me and ian accept him at the house.He has a daughter too who was a victim of child abuse also back when they were in new york.he get mad to my partner when he made mistake on me..why did i accept him inspite of what he did.My parents doenst know that my sister and the american we back 5 years ago they had a relationship..coz all we say is he was my best friend.My question now.Is it not posssible out of anger in this american he is the one whos in the back of this accusation? coz if im going to recall my daughter used to have a lot of money before this happened? where did she get the money? and my daughter used to sleep in there house coz we trusted him and my daughter and her daughter in close friends since they lived with us 1 year.My quaestion why dont cant question my daughter? How about during the times when my daughter sleep at them where i cannot saw her whats shes been doing i cannot i cant ask? how about when they stay in d avao for a couple of days staying in a hotel only 3 of them for how many time i cannot asked too and tell them..coz they dont want to believed? coz out of generousity of the american to my whole family?But my daughter is a child..my point is we back when they had a relationship with my daughter she was married during that time with her husband she commit to the american because of money...How much more with my daughter? PLEASE help me...I always told myself even if i die today i cannot see even a little things that i can stand that i can say..Thats why..Im very affected..i dont have my daughter with me..i have a son of my partner.and they want me to tell my son that his father is dead...

I cannot go out coz they think that we will meet...but my daughter is safe to go out till 9pm.

hairsheys


mj 4 years ago

my fatherin law was gave probation for ten years following being accused of child molestation he was never given a trial at the time he and his wife lived in the home together with their daughter and her boyfriend and her 2 childern little girl and boy the little girl accused her grandfather of this but he wasn,t arrested until he refused 3 days before to give daughter $2000 dollars to keep boyfriend out of jail they also have 2 other grandaughters all 3 girls said he did this but what i don,t understand is his wife and daughters were never questioned i believe he didn,t do it he come in from work everyday sometimes before dark sometimes after he would take a shower eat and go to bed or leave only him and his wife worked he was always around someone when those kids were at house and his wife and daughters and boyfriend were there but his wife was friends with D A where they lived they were never questioned they got his money out of bank and took all his income tax and home too he is not allowed to see is grandaught by us or his new great grandbaby because of this what is your thoughts on this


jenniholl 4 years ago

My son was arrested 2yrs ago in Ky on 1St degree sex abuse charges. He was told by his public defender that he was facing 25yrs so he too kthe plea deal they offerd. My problem with this is that he is innocent and the situation is because of a 12yr old girl who had a crush on him lied when he sat her infront of her mother and explained to her that she needed to focus on boys her own age, that he would never be her boyfriend because that was against the law. She got so mad that she then told her mother that my son had touched her inappropriately. he is doing time now for this charge i beggged him to take it to trial but he was afraid of the 25yrs the prosecutors in small town ky on election year. he has recieved eath threats in prison now and will have to register for 20yrs just because a girl had a crush and got mad when he turned her downCan the innocence project help him?


unknown 4 years ago

Above it states 'everyone is innocent until proven guilty' is false. This is taught to us through out school. By my experince, its only governments propergander.


Wilfred 4 years ago

I and my girlfriend brokeup just because i could not tolerate seeing her hanging out with guys that she claims to have nothing with but call them just mere friends.

I could not take it anymore because i love her so much and though am jealous seeing other guys around her, i need her to understand that and respect that as well. But reverse was the case. she told me she was tired and could not continue, she complains that i dont trust her so how sure our relationship would lead to marriage.

I was so devastated and could not lose my love just for my selfish reasons. so i found this spell lady online who then did a love spell to bring her back and made our relationship more closer than ever and even more happier. The spell lady did help my life, my job because i could not focus on anything, and even brought my lover back in to my life.

The spell lady email is priestessifaa@yahoo.com, her spell is more powerful than i can ever imagine.


glyclascalk 3 years ago

My spouse and i used to receive at the top of lifestyle although recently We've built up a weight.


Mobile Spy iPhone 3 years ago

As if the internet needs more unwanted crap hanging around. In my opinionyour blog is crap You should just stick with facebook God I’ll be sure to block this URL.


MOM 3 years ago

LISA U ARE RIGHT. KIDS LIE...BUT EVEN WHEN A BOY TELLS THE TRUTH ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH A MINOR BECAUSE SHE CRIED RAPE INSTEAD GET ME PISSED. HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH AND SHE KNOWN TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE. SEXTING/MESSAGES THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA. WE HAVE FOUND HER CREDIBILITY DISPICTABLE BY PRINTING HER SEXUALITY TO OTHER BOYS TO DISCREDIT HER LIES. NO EVIDENCE FOUND IN THE CAR, BUT MY CHILD HAS BEEN IN PRISON OVER 2 MONTHS NOW AWAITING SENTENCING. WE HAVE ALOT OF MESSAGES SHE ALSO LIED UNDER OATH AT PRELIMINARY HEARING....PRAYING SHE GETS CAUGHT...PRAYING FOR MY SON'S HONESTY WILL PREVAIL.


Not the victim, the victor 3 years ago

First of all it doesn't matter what a person wears, writes, sings or posts, it does not give anyone the right to abuse said person. It doesn't matter if someone is sexually active or not, they can still be molested or rapped. No adult should ever touch or have sex with a minor. Before you criticize a victim's response to trauma maybe you should learn about the human brain. No one reacts the same way to abuse. Some victims become very promiscuous, some violent, some withdrawn. Some even become a pedophile. In every situation there are different circumstances. There are some instances where a child actually enjoys the touching and feelings of the attention, usually because they don't know better and because it is with someone that they trust. They may not realize the harm that they have experienced until they are well into adulthood. I was molested from as early as I can remember to about the age of 9 by my sister. I didn't know that what she was doing was wrong. To me, I loved her and what she did felt good. I didn't realize the true intent or wrong doing until I was much older. I was then raped at 14 by my best friend's brother. I went through the what if's and what did I do to deserve this. I was drinking with my friends and they left me alone in a house with him when I was almost blacked out drunk. He was 21. I said no but couldn't fight back. I blamed myself for his actions for along time. I dressed a little provocative just like every other 14 year old that thinks that they are grown, but I was a virgin up until then. I married at 15, had a child at 16. My husband and I separated for a short time when I was 16. I moved into my Mother's house with her much younger husband and was molested by him. He admitted to what he done but my Mother kicked me out. I dressed very modest then because of the things that I had been through and still blamed myself for the rape at that time. He told my Mother that he was attracted to me because I was younger and could have kids. He wanted children but she couldn't have anymore. She blamed me and said that I most have done something to ask for it. Even made me go to her room for him to appologize to me so he wouldn't leave. After awhile I forgave them both only to be molested 2 more times. He even still admitted to touching me in my sleep and drilling a hole in the bathroom wall to watch me. She found the hole before he touched me again and said nothing. She had the same reaction that she had the first time, throw me out and blame me even though she had found the hole in the wall. This time I was pregnant with my third child by my same husband and this again is the excuse he used, he wanted children. Again me and my husband were seperated and I didn't have anywhere to go so I didn't tell her for a while because I knew the reaction that I would get. Even after all of this, after a while I forgave them again. She would bring him into my home and I couldn't say anything. I felt like a had to put up with him in order to have relationship with my mother who didn't even raise me for most of my childhood. I was the victim but felt like the problem. I wanted so bad to be loved that I put up with this abuse and never turned him in to the Authorities because my mother threatened to never speak to me again if I called the police. I was also scared of talking to the police and scared that they wouldn't do anything about it because I was 19 the last time that he did it. They are divorced now only because he met someone younger and left her. About 2 years after he left we found out that he had molested my niece who was 6 when he molested her. I am now in my thirties and I have to live with the regret of not turning him in. Had I turned him in I could have saved my niece who is now 16. It has taken me up until a couple of months ago to let go of my mother. I still have fears because of what has happened to me. I can't have any males stay in my home besides my husband and sons, even men that I rationally know wouldn't touch me, like my father or brother-in-laws. I have to have the tv on to block out noises like doorknobs turning or doors opening. I can't walk down the street by myself. I still have nightmares and issues that I will probably have to live with for the rest of my life. I thank God that I have a wonderful husband that supports and loves me even though he has had a lot of hell to go through with me. The same husband that I married at 15. He has had his own issues with what has happened to me because he feels guilty that we were separated when I was molested and that it wouldn't have happened if we had worked things out and not split up. We married on his 17th birthday and like I told him, we were to young to know how to work things out and if it didn't happen to me, it probably would have happened to my niece at a younger age and more than once.


Curt 3 years ago

Thank you for posting this. I'm going through the same situation as well. While I'm feeling the process is going painfully slow, I'm relieved to hear to see it goes slow all the time. Relieved, but not glad...


john 3 years ago

goin through something simular, my daughter lied about where it happened at because she was embarraased of where it happend, so she said it happened in this persons house, the cops told me that she can be held for making a false police report, but everything else she said was the truth. no means no


Alan uk 3 years ago

I'm ex girlfriend has a bad mental health and now I have moved on and found someone else she has some how managed to GED her 7 year old daughter to tell the police I raped her when she was 3 , this make me feel sick and I loved her kids like they were my own , now I sit in fear of loosing everything , my kids , house and partner also I'm a family photographer so that will be that business gone . The police arrested me 2 weeks ago for questioning but I was only in the room for an hour I've been told this isn't very long for a case like this my solicitor said normally it takes hours , one thing he said is if this did happen the girl in question would not have been able to give such a vast amount of detail from when she was 3 almost 4 years ago and there has to be evidence . I'm am ex custody officer and molesters sicken me I'm not one and never will be , this woman has ruined my life and I don't think I can do anything to help myself I just feel like topping myself it's so unfair it's only been 2 weeks so far I'm not sure I can do this. This woman wants to make sure I'm never happy :_(


Alan uk 3 years ago

The questions raised are if the mother is sure I did it why hasn't she had the medical done yet also how does a 7 year old get so many fine detailed unless she has been coached by somone and most importantly why did she now show signs of anything either at home or school or phisical signs like soreness or bleeding etc and finally why wait another year after I'm no longer in there life before coming forward. These are all points I want the police to bring up instead of letting me fester on while my life crumbles around me :-(


mee 3 years ago

Well I have looked arounds the net and dose anyone know if a time limit applys in the uk to sex offenders I am a 18 year old girl now but I was molestered when I was ??? Young till about the age of 5? And a few occations after that till being about 7 I think and that was by my step uncle when I was born me, mum, grandad, granmar, and him lived in the same house till being about 5 then we moved away and only saw then a few times a year on visits! Then after being like 8 he dissapeared and no one really talks about him.... im not the only victum in my famiky I have hurd but I never told anyone about it still to this day! What are my chances of finding him (that I could) and getting him convicted. Im 18 now! Its been a long long time woukd it be worth (what I woukd feel was) losing my dignaty and respect and showing my famiky, friends and partner how discracefull and dirty I am, losing all my standers and standing/ meeting all these people to look down with discust as me for what... loose the case or even get turned away straight away with no chance of getting him.....?

My damage has been done not much we can do about that I have lurnt to live a fine life and would say I thimk it affects me, but knowing he has 2 little girls of his own..... he wasnt even able to keep his hands off mose the young girls in my family so I dont want to imagen them poor girls living with just him, no ascape, no one else to get them away.......

Im not sure what to do, any advice send to this adress please sorry about the rude name its a fake I would rather not give my real one out incase anyone I know sees, thanks

hellish_cock@hotmail.co.uk


jen 3 years ago

My finance has been accused of Child molestation and Child rape in the 2nd degree. The step-daughter was 12 at the time. In Washington, we have the hearsay law. You can be convicted, just on testimony. He was with his wife for 12 years, right before the step daughter was born. She wanted and divorce, he didn't. A week later, he was questioned about touching his stepdaughter. She is a known liar, but he is now in jail with these charges. It took several days for a detective to come out and question the stepdaughter and in that time, the mom and daughter went around to all his friends and family, everyone they knew, and told up this story of him touching her. The first time rape was ever mentioned was when the detective questioned her, several days later. Officers did not arrest him right away, but the next morning, his wife called his probation officer, he got caught selling weed... (it's legal now), and said she wanted him arrested. So, he was taken into custody for "breaking" his probation. During that time, the wife went around and poisoned everyone with this story. My fiance refuses to take a deal, saying he would rather go to prison then say he did something to his daughter when he never did. He reads case logs of people being convicted and he worries, because people get convicted with so little evidence. Even when the victims were caught in lies, there was still convictions. He's worried because her story hasn't changed, but there isn't much to the story, like I said, she also repeated it several times to other people, which he was told she wasn't suppose to say anything until the detective talked to her. But there are so many things that don't add up. Why would she turn to his bedroom to play on the computer and lock the door while he is sleeping, she's been caught watching porn on the computer. Time and time again, she stated that she was afraid of him, but she would always return to his room. She never stated he threatened her in anyway. She would say he would touch her and she would continually tell him to stop and then several minutes later he all of a sudden would? His wife said that she suspected it was going on, but then she would leave him in the house with them for several hours? If I suspected it, you aren't being left with my children. He knew the wife was cheating on him. Two months after he was arrested, she's in a new relationship, bringing a new guy into the home. Would a mom really be hunting for a new guy to take home to a supposedly traumatized daughter? Also, when going over evidence with his attorney, there was nothing about the daughter being questioned multiple times, only the once by the detective. And also she is not doing counseling or anything of the sort. It's like they just continued on with life and is just waiting for him to serve life in jail. We get all positive, because there really isn't anything there. But then it comes to us, there are so many that are convicted with nothing there and we are just scared. With sexual crimes, it isn't innocence until prove guilty, it's guilty until you can prove your innocent. All he has to hope for is that the stepdaughter screws up on the stand and even then, he can still get convicted. They get caught lying and still, they go to prison. The more I experience this, the more messed up I find the system. But, then it would be harder to get those who actually did things convicted. I never knew that it was this easy to accuse someone and have it ruin your life.


Gregory Tripp 3 years ago

Wow, listened to enough of the stuff so had to comment about my tragedy. I have been with a woman who I love and her 3 year old girl. I am a divorcee and 30 years old with sole custody of 2 of my own. A 7 year old girl and an 8 year old boy. My two are doing excellent in school and with the help of my parents we are doing a great job of raising them. My x-wife has run off and married her boy friend and has two more of her own. Best of luck to her. I was watching my gf's 3 year old who I have been with for 1.5 years and were at my parents home. She ran to me from the dining room and jumped up on my lap as she does quite often. I picked her up fully clothed and tickled her and loved on her for a moment and then playfully popped her on the butt and sent her on her way to go play. That's is where it all got fuzzy. She turned as she left me and said, "You Hurt My Tootsie!" My mother (I am 30) immediately corrected her and told her that it was not nice to lie and that I had not touched her at all. Two hours later when her mother got there from work to pick her up...my mom explained to her what had happened. She then after leaving went into full investigative mamma mode. I got a "you're a sick fuck and you're going to jail!" email as well as a "She demonstrated!" one. Who uses those words if not a person who is so paranoid about their daughter being molested.... 15 days later I get a call from the police that they would like me to come down for questioning as someone had made a complaint. My Dad advised me not to do that as I would be without counsel and could be tricked. Two days later I awoke at 10:30pm in my home with 6 police officers throwing me up against the wall of my brick home and hand cuffing me. Luckily my Dad and Mom were there and talked the cop into letting me get dressed and put some warm clothes on and ensuring me that they were going to get me out as soon as possible. The arresting officer on the way to jail told me to not tell the other inmates what I was being arrested for as it could prove to be harmful to my health. All the while I'm an innocent man. I get out of jail, lie detector passed and now my mom and dad have their home on the line and I'm paying (mom and dad too) $25k for the best attorney that I can find. Looking at $2500 for an investigator and it just keeps getting better. Seems there was a second count added on by a juvenile delinquent 13 year old little whore in the family. I'm sorry to put it like that but she is a hootchie momma with body like a 20 year old and always flaunting everything she has and throwing her self at boys/men. Before I got out of jail I was brought before a judge magistrate and the attorney that my dad got said that I would remain in jail because they almost never grant a bond to a person with 2 counts of such a serious charge. They saw that I had no priors and that I had two children at home that I had not been accused of molesting and that I was their sole provider for their care. My dad had called my work and informed them that I would miss a bit of work because of this misunderstanding. I was their the next day having missed only one day of work. Yep, you guessed it. Fired on the spot. Said that my attitude was not good. So...accused by a 3 year old and a 13 year old piling on now I've been strip searched 3 times for drugs as I moved from facility to facility, I have lost my job, a bit of my freedom and did I remind you, I'm still innocent until proven guilty. So now I sit at my parents, calls (restricted of course) to my cell have people calling me a child molester and think I may need to change my number. I am scared to death and my parents are devastated both emotionally and financially. And according to your "lopsided-edge" of an article...I should have nothing to worry about. I am tired of the sexually racist atmosphere we have here in GA and that probably 98% (may be higher) of the persons convicted of these crimes against are children are men. WTF is going on in this country. Kind of reminds me of the Tulsa Riots where a certain race did very well only to have their shops and businesses ruined. Paper article, "Getting the Niggers our of Tulsa." Well, we are getting are white men out of circulation as many of them are going away for 10-20 years. This GF and Niece have lost their mind....I can't even provide evidence to a Grand Jury in GA...just a DA getting together with his jury and looking at the states evidence and then deciding to prosecute the poor bastard. The DA with the Police and the Child Advocacy Department and wham, your parents may die before you get out. You may never see your son or daughter drive a car for the first time or their first date/prom or even have their first child....in other words find out your have become a Grandpa behind bars. 30 years old, innocent and could be 50 when I get out.....all this on a accusation? That is why I had to react to your one-sided article. There are WAY TO MANY INNOCENT men and women being prosecuted and sent to jail on the testimony and video made by a CAC employee and child that is being led/guided by a very suggestive parent. What on Earth can you do about it?


Rachel 3 years ago

My 5 year old nephew told his school that his dad was touching his penis and he wanted them to make it stop - my 3 year old neice also said (while grabbing herself) that her dad touched her "peepee" , their 10 year old brother also stated that he was forced to smoke something out of a glass pipe, and that it made him feel really funny, that he almost fell into the fire. that his father had also touched his penis and showed him "how to excercise it" - CPS removed the kids from his home until they could complete an "investigation" - let me tell you how this "investigation" went - after 1 month the kids had a counseling session. 3 weeks later they were placed back in the home with this sicko. I cannot tell you how disgusted i am - I was severly taken advantage of when i was little and to this day at 31 years old the scars and wouunds are deep and open! I cannot stand to think of the retaliation they will have to endure due to lack of efficiency on the states part. I mean seriously, why are my tax dollars going to pay someone who works for CPS (child protective services) just so that they can corner cut and not even do scrap to save kids from the worst possible abuse they can ever endure. I know he did this, those kids were with us for a month and just mentioning going back to him they would lose it, crying, begging "NO", so sad. I could care less if he "paid" for what he has done but we shold be protecting these kids. I need help, i need to save them, i need to find avenues of getting out that the state has dropped the ball, cps has dropped the ball, the sherrifs dept has dropped the ball. These are our children, and they are being hurt, and NO one wants to protect them. What has our country come to? I am sure that there are situations where the accused is innocent, and that is just a terrible situation, but this is not the case (which im sure every one thinks) - these kids were discriptive, and the fact that they are 5 and 3 tells you that in situations like this, wth no life experiences at all they would not even know enough to make something liek this up - but no one even heard their little voices when they were asking for help. Why are we teaching them in Kindergarten to TELL RIGHT AWAY if someone touches you in an inappropriate way if when they do we just send them home anyways! See if the kid EVER tells agIn! I need help finding a way to push this futher, they cannot be left there, i have to protect them, but i dont knw what to do or who to call....


cricket265 3 years ago

I got a knock at the door, I opened the door and thought it was the swan's Ice cream Dealer, I told him I didn't want any , then I looked again, and uh! , This man had a county Sheriff with him, He came in and asked where my son was, my son was woken up and was interviewed,My son is 22 years old and he will turn 23 in December. Anyway, He told my son and I that my niece ' my brother's daughter' was accusing him of raping her from ages 6 to 12 years of age! This girl will be 16 In December., Making the allegations on my son from ages 13-19 years old! How dare SHE! Her mother and her Grandmother has put her up to accusing my son of this outrages accusation! The investigator came in and told us what she had reported and even drew the out building my son was supposed to have molested her in. This interview happened on November, 18th, 2013, Investigator was shown the small little building that was supposedly where it happened at and was locked at all times, She has a brother that has touched her numerous of times while my mom was watching them for about 15 minutes up to an hour before their mom or dad could come get them. My daughter also told that when my nephew was on the school bus she had to sit with him so he wouldn't be reaching up and grabbing other kids private parts. My son screamed to the investigator that that was a lie and it was incest and it made him physically Ill to hear that she was accusing him of such a crime!, First of all, We didn't live anywhere near these people from ages 13-21, My son is almost 23 now. My mom called my brother and he was crying so hard and begging her to tell me not! to hate him! for this goings on! Mom also told him that she had to tell the truth when she caught his kids messing with each other and his response to that was ' mom? they will explore, and mom told him explore hell! no kids will explore that much. So her brother talked to the investigator and was asked if he ever seen anything between my son and his sister happening, his reply was '' well? one time they were in a ditch and i didn't go over to see what they were doing! calmly answered this man. This brother has molested his sister and they are trying to get another family member under aged out of states custody and My Brother's wife and her mother have come up with this concoction of a story to take the heat off the real pervert~ my nephew. I have talked to 3 attorneys ' I'm in Kentucky' and Both have told me he would definately be arrested and charged. and that he may as well be a dead man. Brother's wife is already calling him a m'f'in child molester. We are blown away at this, The investigator told us never say anything to anyone because if someone hears it? they are going to come after him and possibly kill him, now, Brother's wife was behind him at my bank and she reves up her car motor and again screams and calls him a m'fin child molester! He has to stay quiet and she gets to scream to the world accusing him of this? I know for a fact that my son never touched this girl, never alone, The family died when my dad passed away 14 years ago, Thanksgiving, they would come up and eat really quick and leave, my son was not here, Christmas?, They would come up , eat and leave. I can count on one hand how many time they have been at my mom's house, They stay down their way and we stay where we stay ' we are about a block away from each other. My brother won't allow people over his house is because his house is worse than a hoarders house. He is ashamed of people seeing it. Ducks could swim in his hallway stays full of water and it's a pretty new house, built before mine. They are slobs and need money. Money is what my son will go to jail for.They want his head on a silver platter and we just don't understand what we have done to deserve this. My husband and I even let my brother and ' that thing' stay wiyth us when they moved back home until they could get jobs and a place of their own, she was very mean to both my kids when she lived with me, very aggressive twards my son at the age of 4 months old pulling his hair to the point of giving him whiplash while he sat in his high chair. This so called woman and her mother are crazy people, my brother also stated that he is waiting to see if he's blamed in the sexual molestation. He could stop this but he won't stand up to his wife! My son is innocent,and my brother told my mother that he knows that he didn't touch his daughter! and to tell his mother to beg his sister' me' not to hate him? Does this sound like a set up to you or is it just me?, If it were reversed? I would be telling my mother she had better be getting her son outta Dodge before the law could get to me,. any questions? how about comments?


Jaydee 3 years ago

Hi! I'm staying in Guam right now and I have a 3 year old daughter who I left in the Philippines under my moms custody. all of a sudden my ex-boyfriend came to Philippines and visit my daughter every now and then but times go by since were not really in a good term he uses my daughter for me to send money to him and not show my daughter to my mom and now I found out that from my daughter is being rape my her dad. my mom has an audio recording while my daughter is telling her that "daddy is putting finger inside", took a picture of my daughters private part while is swollen and got my daughter checked in a oby. and the results became positive. as of the moment as what my mom said police has a restraining order against him due to the strong evidence. but since I'm far away and planning to go back to the Philippines what else should I do aside from filing a case on him. having a lawyer here in guam and in the Philippines will help my situation? hoping for your answer upon my desperate question just don't really know what to do.


momof2 2 years ago

My sons 3 and 5 were acting out sexually (daycare teacher told me) my 3 year old was showing his penis to peers and asking them to touch his penis. At the time I thought maybe another child in the daycare was teaching him this and I was furious. He had always complained of anal pain when he would poop to the point I would have to give him warm baths after and wash clean instead of using toilet paper. He was always rashed and sore so I had the pediatrician tak a look at him and she said it could just be hard stools. A couple of months later my 3 year old tried to kiss me while thrusting at me like he was having sex! I pushed him off and asked where he learned that, he stood up pulled down his pants and told me to touch his pee pee. I took him to the childrens hospital where the social worker notified CPS, my kids told me their cousin (that lives with their grandfather) had been putting his fingers into my 3 year olds anus. This isnt the first time either that boy tried this on my 5 year old about 2 years ago and I told his mom who says she had him checked out and he was fine no abuse. I had an officer come and collect statements from both my mother and I because the boys both told us that their grandfather had been sticking his fingers in their bottoms and that he would kiss my 3 year old pee pee and butt. They have come forward with sexual abuse against their father as well they describe oral sex in the shower where they "spit it out" meaning their fathers sperm. The boys have been seeing specialists every week to talk about their abuse and show extreme signs of sexual abuse trauma such as wetting their pants after their father calls, they cant sleep, are terrified of the dark, have night terrors when they do sleep, lock every door in the house or car when we are in the car, they drew pictures of the police shooting and killing their grandfather and cousin, draw pictures of houses spaceships boats all with a huge lock on the front and their father and grandfather outside where they cant get inside. Im wondering what will it actually take to get someone arrested? Their father keeps wanted to have them over and I would rather go to jail than to let him hurt these children again! How can I keep them safe? Why arent they arresting these men??


Debbie 2 years ago

My 2 year old granddaughter was molested by her mother and she was selling her and her 6 year old sister ! They said that they was too young to testify so her mom gets into no trouble? They have removed both girls but she should have to go to jail! Who does things like this to children ? I myself was molasses as a child it leaves permit scars! My son was killed two years ago in Ohio same place and nothing was done please help me understand how this woman is still on the streets ?


Stressedout1095 2 years ago

This has done nothing except add to my confusion on the matter. My now 15 yr old daughter was raped over and over by a neighbor since she was 13. This guy was arrested the day we found out about this. My daughter was interviewed from 10am till 5:30pm on that day without us ever getting to see her.IF I hadn't have pushed the issue the advocate group would never have been brought in. The guy was charged with 2 counts of aggravated statutory rape to begin with. My daughter had to testify in front of him one month later in a closed court. Then one month after that the guy (his lawyer not him) appeared before the Grand jury and re arrested on 25 more counts of Aggravated statutory rape,he spent 5 days in jail then. Now the DA wants to meet with us to talk about a plea on this to keep our daughter from having to go before a jury.I don't trust juries after the stuff Ive seen on the news.I don't know what to do.I spend my none working days researching everything I can and asking questions and making calls. What would be a normal plea on this? We cant even live a normal life this guy lives on the hill above us and watches every move we make. moving is not possible and to me it would be like saying "it didn't happen" I want him to know Im here watching him.and Life will be back to normal that he isn't going to destroy my daughters life or ours. She is in therapy and so am I now. its been a fast 4 months so far and we are making it. This man still has his minor children in his home,he doesn't work his wife does and he stays with the kids. There is something wrong with this picture !! But like its been said in the comments they surround theirselves with kids so they can say "look Im not doing anything to them"....He is a drunk and a weed smoker and does RX meds that aren't his.I feel as though Im losing my mind !! Pray he goes to jail where he can have a nice boyfriend and live out his days !!!


frustrated.. 2 years ago

My my daugther who was 6 at the time had told me her father had abused her we where separated and I would allow him to continue to see her my hopes where to get back together again. she never wanted to go with him and one day she told me she didn't want him back home told me what he would do to her. I know she would never make something like that up I was devistated because I still had feelings for her father but I called the police file a report he is an illegal and when summon for questioning he fled. Its been years my girl had emotial damage withdrawn depression even suicidal at 9yrs old.. she's been getting better with counseling I had my own problems but I love my children and knew I had to be strong for them show them how to overcome hurt. Afther 9yrs marriage I had to start over again.. I found a new partner 2yrs later my family is almost completely healed its been almost 5yrs. We have been very happy but my mom found my ex 6mos ago on fb I had the case reopened the police didn't do much they said he has to voluntarily go into questioning? He's illegal so keeping track of him is harder I guess the fact is the case is closed again he hasn't been questioned at all they said they wherent unable to summons him because he left.. now he's remarried some poor gal child on the way. My mom keeps better track then the police. I understand it would be my girls word against his. I feel like we didn't even get a chance to have any justice for the damage he has caused us..I don't mention anything anymore it only made us depressed and made me frustrated. I'm expeting a new baby and feel like just letting this go cause it only causes hurt emotions. I will try to see if the detective can reopen the case..I mean at least warn the poor gal he married..


revengeisgods 2 years ago

I have a 22 year old mildly mentaly impaired child. She was molested by my soon to be ex-husband. She had just turned 18 when it started. She didn't tell me cuz she was afrade of him AND didn't want me to be upset (hurt by it...it's my 2nd marriage). I am most worryed about how she will do on the stand. She has passed the compintsey hearing, so she'll have to. She tries so hard to prove she's "normal" that I'm afrade she'll come off that way. Second, I'm concerned about my ex's popularaty. People in my own family are on his side. How much does popularaty play a role in the out come of the trial?


Stressedout1095 2 years ago

revengeisgods....I hear you on the popularity thing...the person we are dealing with is from a prominate family in the county,has family on police force in the county next to us they all grew up here and we are the "new people"


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 2 years ago from Michigan Author

When I wrote this article, I never thought I would get so many responses. I had to stop responding to all of them and yet I read everyone. The one's the bother me the most are the one's without out children and the one's who had never gone through any of this. They post comments about how easy it is to convict on false statements or how my grammar is part of the problem. They really don't know or have a clue. So how do I respond, well to all the parents who are living this nightmare, I am with you not only in spirit but in heart. To those that don't believe because someone may be lying to you or you just can't see the truth, I am with you, and pray you will never have to live the truth. To those that have nothing to do but correct my grammar, I so wish I was you, living in that kind of world is all any of us ever wanted to do. I know some have reached to me for guidance and all I could say was, I am not the doctor but here is what I did and how I would precede. There is no right answer and we all know deep down whether we should trust someone or not. Molestation does not happen from people we don't know, its from people we trust. Its not a strange guy in the ally that's spends months or years to get know our children, its our friends, family, and those we trust the most. You know someone falsely accused, it does happen but its rare, these children go through hell to prove what happen to them and many never see justice. Every child molester has something to gain by saying they didn't do it, but many children have nothing to gain by coming forward, except to be criticized and put on trial.

Now ask yourself how bad to you want to believe someone lied and how bad do you want to believe someone is innocent. That is how you know what really happened. Do you think someone you love is capable of killing a child, of course not, and yet when then do, no amount of evidence will convince you of the truth. What you believe is the truth in your mind. When you write something here, you already know the truth, you just want someone to say your right, or you want to convince people that this person was wrongly convicted. The truth is you already know the real truth but you need people to believe the story you have been told, so you can too.

Lets look at what happens to a molested, raped, or sexually abused child.

1. The act out

2. they lie

3. they died, by that I mean they will never be the child you once knew.

4.They can become sexually active depending on the age.

5.They turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, or some form of acceptance among their piers.

6.Most importantly they don't know how to fit in anymore so they want someone to go through it with them, meaning they will obviously try to do the same thing that was done to them to someone else so they understand because you have no clue.


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 2 years ago from Michigan Author

Your article touches me deeply. One in the UK privacy his held much higher than in the U.S. so to be arrested for such a crime I could only imagine what evidence they might have. Second if you are doubting your husband, I have to ask what has changed that would make you do that. Third, sexual predators always protect the ones they care about more than the rest of the world. Many man enjoy sexual women and slim clothing, that does not make them a sexual predator; however, an abusive person tries to control everything around them and appear like they are not the one's at fault. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying your mate is a criminal or a sexual predator. I am just saying some people will go to great extremes to cover up what they are.


Stressedout1095 2 years ago

Roger, this has helped me so much over the last few weeks just to have a place to be heard and tell our story !.We are struggling through the stages of this horrible fact of life. People think they are safe because of the way they raise their children. They all think like we did that our child would never be the victim of a crime like this.The people who are picked to be on juries are picked because they HAVENT been a victim or been victimized by this. Unless you have gone thru it you have no idea how bad it truly is !.The fact that it changes your child and your family and friends forever. It is like a death in away,the fact that the innocence of your child is gone,the struggle to fit in now that the facts are out there changes they way that their friends and people in general look at them.The struggle to be normal again when the person who did or does this to them is a close friend or family member seems to be harder IF that is possible....!!!! We are fixing to be faced with coming up with something that we could settle on for a plea deal to keep our daughter from having to go thru the whole jury thing again...facing the man that did this to her once is enough which she has done and stood her ground and spoke the words..."1 in 10 come forward and I am that 1 in 10".....people need to think...if it is only 1 in 10....is their child one of the 9 that having this going on and NEVER say anything ??????..People need to think when their child acts or reacts in ways.is there something going on. We honestly had NO signs of anything because she is such a strong child and was determined to deal with this on her own because of peoples reactions.She said when it happened she went to another place in her mind. God love the children and families that are going through this or that will go through this..I pray that laws can be changed and people realize how often this happens and how often it goes untold !

P.S we have to decide on the plea deal thing in the next month and we found out that the judge we have is unpredictable Im so scared that we will be the ones who don't get justice and sadly it scares me even more of what that will do to my child and my family. Just say a prayer for us !


holly 2 years ago

my boyfriend touched my daughter when she was seven. one day we were all dog piling on the couch. my boyfriend on the bottom then me then my daughter jumped on top. while we were all goofing around she tickled my butt crack. and jumped up and said where did u learn that! you are not supposed to touch someone there. and she said well erik did it to me! at first he said he didnt do it. later that evening he pulled me into the bedroom and said that yes it did happen. A YEAR AGO! He lied to me for a whole year. I found out when she was 8. She is 11 now and will be 12 in 3 months. We have broken up a fwe times since then. He says he will never do it again. But I dont think I believe that. Thankfully she lives with her father and not with us. I just dont know what to do. I feel like a monster for letting this happen to her. I feel like a terrible human being and the worst mother in the world for still being with him. I am so angry at myself. If I wouldn't have dated him this never would have happened. We live together and I can't afford to live on my own but my heart and my sanity can't keep living with him. Is it possible for someone to only molest once and then never again? I have tried to do some digging but all I've heard is that once people are like that then there is no cure or help. Ugh it just feels so hopeless. I am really glad I found this site and a place to vent. If anyone has any advice on this anything at all. That would be great.


stressedout1095 2 years ago

Holly, there should be an advocacy group in your area. Look in the phone book/online/local hospitals....These people can help answer questions that you might have !. I don't know what I would do if they hadn't come into my life when I needed them. My personal advice is to get rid of the guy and be there for your daughter. But I understand the not being able to live on your own if it is a money issue. Maybe the advocacy group can head you in the direction you need to go ! May god be with you girl, Ill add you to my prayers......as an update on my stuff...still no contact from the DA's office and this is Feb. I need this guy in prison ! its not an end to the pain or the problem. But it would be a start to more healing !


Nell 2 years ago

What I'm curious about is a man and a 16- 17 year old step daughter who returns the affection of being naked and touching, kissing, fondleing, everything but intercourse and how long can this kind of relationship go on. I guess I just don't understand. Are there meetings for the mothers of abusers and molesters?


Deric 2 years ago

I'm going through a case right now where my girlfriends vindictive ex has made false allegations towards me and her.I have been with my girlfriend six years and she has two boys 8 and six that I have basically raised since they were babies.He hasn't been there to help in any way & kept trying to get her to allow him to sign over his rights because he can't pay his child support & is over 10 thousand dollars behind.He gets upset & calls cps one weekend when he had the kids & makes all kinds of false allegations.He gets a protective order against the mom and it has been over a month she hasn't seen her kids.He tells cps that I was abusing his kids & that I walk around naked and show the kids my penis.Now there's a detective calling me wanted me to come talk to him and tells my girlfriend I may be facing 25 years in the pen.I am not talking with him without and attorney.a this has emotionally and financially drained us,she has paid several thousand to her lawyer for the custody battle.They go to court next month.I think it's a shame that now I may be indicted for some false allegations that the father cps and there so called therapist have coached and brainwashed into these kids,I end up in prison,she loses her kids and he gets what he wanted all along to destroy us and make his life easier all because he doesn't wanna pay child support.I live in the great commonwealth state of Virginia,so I'm literally screwed.


momonmission 2 years ago

Thank you soo much Roger this article has helped me on my awful situation to help understand. Also you have opened a door so other people could understand and write there story. For some of the other posts I guess they say ignorance is bliss....I live in the state of mi and can say it is very disturbing on the way the justice system handles these delicate cases. Its a long story but my landlord was getting a divorce and we never signed another lease bcuz we were looking to purchase a home and put offer on house so she said we could go.month to month but the beginning of nov she sent me a letter stating we had to be out by end of month..what? A home I lived in for 3 years we had two dogs so its impossible to find a place to rent with pets anyways long story short my close friend that I worked with said I could move in with her neighbor she was a single mom with a nice big house and we could help eachother out until the house went through or whatever! My close friends brother had been hanging out at my new house every night I had been there and ive known him a couple years from bday parties etc knew his son and I kindve thought that my new roommate and him had a relationship so I never felt harm from him and plus it felt safe with a man in the house. My daughter had started wetting herself every time she had to go potty shes been trained 2 years n never had one accident. I thought it was bcuz we moved etc. My daughter had told my gma that this man we called uncle joe had bit her privates really hard and then she told her brother me my roomate my mom etc and my roomates son which was six was saying awful things too! I called the police. They interviewed my family etc. Things got really crazy the more the truth came out I was calling the police threatening them I was going to kill this 37 year old man that touched my 3 year old. His sister my close friend was being supportive and saying he was crazy and been in and out of mental hospital for trying to kill himself numerous times. That he was her half brother and went 15 years without seeing him. We had to go to lacasa for care interview with prosecutors and I was very disappointed with the way they

conducted the interview the lady had no idea how to talk to a child so we did second interview and my girl said that he touched her and told them he had a knife and the roommates lil boy said he touched emma but wouldn't say anything about himself. She told her pediatrician every detail and he called police and we took her to a big hospital to meet with a specialist and she said yes this girl had been touched. And now there doing a lie detector test on him tomorrow I do not understand. My family does not understand. My roomate showed me a text from my close friend that her brother sent to her saying if im going down your going down with me then the night before Christmas eve she came down screaming she didnt think.he would do it again and she kept saying it hitting things etc and after I told the police that she totally turned against me I havent been able to go to work she told my boss something personal that happened between my boss and I 2 years ago and told him I was going to sue for sexual harassment etc which no I would never have done that so he called me and told me to be scared to come into work. So not only the worst thing happened to my daughter but my friend was protecting her bro and now ive lost my job which I have dept of civil rights investigation going on with my work now because how he threatened me was not right and this is about my daughter. After all the witnesses and doctors etc there still has been no arrest. When this man was 11 he was in juvi for 3 years for raping someone with a deadly weapon? I would never in my life say someone touched a child unless I was 100 percent sure and unfortunately it is true. It has been a blessing and the biggest learning lesson in my life and im soo grateful nothing worst happened! I just feel like im the one getting attacked its an awful world I was raped when I lost my virginity but I kept quiet but I will do whatever it takes to get justice for my girl. Its just soo hard and scary and the blame I put on myself for not seeing it sooner. Also I don't understand why my friend has turned around on me n the text message about if I go down ur going with me and her hitting and screaming saying she didnt think.he would do it AGAIN? Patience is the only way to survive and count ur blessings and give sooo much love to the victims!


Anyone Else 2 years ago

I'm a mom on a mission, too. But doubt my child or myself will ever see justice, other than I can write the story. What happened to my family is so sickening. My subsequent pastors were kind enough to read the story and explained I'd dealt with the "dirty little secret of the two original educated professions." It's a story of how the most evil doctors and pastors cover up their mistakes and sins, and medical evidence of alleged child sodomy. And it may no longer be an uncommon problem - medical "mistakes" are at a minimum the number three leading killer of Americans now. Similar crimes are likely happening all over this country, and the "system" seems to be aiding and abetting the child molesters, unethical doctors, and sinful pastors. At least that what some of my research indicates, and that has been my family's experience.

My son was allegedly sodomized while in the care of board members of his private school, Summit Academy, in Elgin, IL in 1999. I have medical evidence of my four year old's inflamed anus. And this school did unexpectedly announce it was closing it's doors forever, right after they learned my family had had all our medical records handed over. Summit Academy did close it's doors forever about a year later on 6.6.06. At the time I did hear rumors of "odd sexual behavior on the parts of lots of little boys from the school" also.

There were other signs of abuse. In 1999, my child came home from the Samata's home talking of his "poopie hole" - we did not use that term in our home. We hadn't ever had a reason to be discussing "poopie holes." Eventually, my child refused to ever play at the Samata's home ever again in late 1999. He uncharacteristically kicked and screamed and ranted and refused to get into the Samata's car ever again, in front of a bunch of teachers. My sons's distress was confusing to me, however. I was in denial a supposedly respectable private school would have board members who abused little children, my child hadn't ever played at any other home. I was in denial of the alleged abuse initially.

But my child continued to be upset, he refused to defecate. I finally took him to the doctor on 1.13.2000. The doctor said the reason he wasn't defecating was likely due to his inflamed anus, the doctor expressed concerns of abuse. But I still couldn't believe board members of my child's school could possibly have allowed such a heinous act ... to a little child! The doctor, Ann I. Ryan should have reported this to DCFS despite my denial, but unfortunately she did not.

Four days later, I shattered my ankle on ice outside a restaurant. The restaurant workers felt so bad, because where I fell was a known ice hazard, and the restaurant employees confessed they'd neglected to salt it. They told me I should sue. The ankle surgery resulted in a "bad fix," according to my medical records.

I was admittedly distracted from my son's issues due to what happened to me. But he did develop more issues, he reverted back to potty training problems, he stopped letting me bath him or ever see him naked again. He started having trouble in school, which he had never had previously. In 6.2000, due to the "bad fix," Ryan put me on a drug cocktail. The bogus drug cocktail confused all the issues my family was dealing with even more in my own mind. I was still in denial of the child abuse thus confused by the Samata's increasing rudeness, so started avoiding Pat.

My family started attending a new church in 4.2001. My dad had recommended Lutheran Church of the Atonement in Barrington, IL, since we'd had trouble finding a church with an active youth group very close to our home. The pastor was polite, introduced himself, and was welcoming our first Sunday in the church. But then we ran into the Samata's. We exchanged brief greetings, but I'd been trying to avoid Pat.

My mom was with us the following Sunday. I had forewarned her of the Samata's lack of class, and that we'd run into them at the church. After the service the pastor came up to us and pretended he didn't remember meeting us the previous Sunday. He was quite discourteous to my husband and I. My mother politely introduced herself as the wife of the head of the investment committee of the board of pension for the religion. The pastor, Don Wink, told my mother, "My pension fund's done lousy lately." My mother politely corrected him, and Don Wink ran away.

A couple minutes later Greg Samata was in my face asking me what my father did for the religion. I thought the guy was going to beat me up right there in the church. My mom explained to Greg what my father's primarily volunteer position within the religion was. He left, and we also left the church.

As mentioned, this church seemed like the only nice ELCA Lutheran church near our home, so we continued to attend services at Atonement. Mr. Wink, however, continued to be rude. I couldn't figure out why a pastor I'd just met would be rude to my nice and generous Lutheran family. I figured his issues would pass, it never even occurred to me they wouldn't because his problems with my family might possibly have related to involvement with serious alleged child sodomy crimes, as I was still in denial of this.

Mr. Wink's seemingly insane, incessant rudeness led to his denying my angelic daughter a baptism, a pastoral sin marked throughout eternity at the exact moment the second plane hit the second World Trade Center building on 9.11.2001. "Never Forget." I was shocked by Mr. Wink's appalling behavior. The associate pastor, Pam Challis, did agree to baptize my daughter on the day I requested, the following week. Although even she initially tried to baptize my daughter "Lizzie," rather than by my daughter's given name. My daughter's given name could easily be nicknamed to "BethEl," which means "house of God." My daughter was eventually baptized by her given name. And it was the cutest thing in the world, she was filled with the Holy Spirit, and danced joyfully up and down the aisles.

This is going on and on, it is makings for a novel, and I do want to explain how the truly evil pastors cover up pastoral sins, so I'm going to move a little faster. Mr. Wink continued to be rude. I took him out to lunch, figuring if he got to know me, he'd chill out. No. I went and talked to him once, and explained I'm certain we could be friends. Did this help, no. But he then called my husband told him I needed to go talk to Mr. Wink's therapist friend, Barb Grace. At first I said no, but finally agreed, hoping she'd assist us in working out our difficulties.

Instead of doing that, the hypocritically only "Christian" therapist, Barb Grace got a list of lies and gossip from Mr. Wink and the Samata's, defamed me to my family, shipped me off to a Jewish doctor based upon Mr. Wink and the Samata's lies. And according to all my medical records, I was drugged for belief in the Holy Spirit and God, and have now survived 15 distinctly different poisoning and "airway obstruction" attempts at my life by doctors, hellbent on covering up the alleged abuse of my child and the "bad fix" on my broken bone.

Thankfully, I did eventually run into decent doctors and nurses, the poisoning fest ended, and I have gotten my medical history cleared up. My child is doing better, too. But be realistic, grown men don't go around lying to doctors and having women they barely know majorly tranquilized and poisoned for no reason. They would do it to cover up child sodomy, however.

Pastors and doctors have historically covered up their sins and malpractice in this manner. This is the "dirty little secret of the two original educated professions." Shame on the doctors, religions, government employees and all others covering up malpractice and aiding and abetting child molesters in this country with your "dirty little secret." Shame on the psychiatric industry and their drugs, the industry that makes such crimes against decent and ethical people, including children, so prevelant. Oh, that's right, the goal of psychiatry IS defaming, drugging, and torturing as many little children as possible.


annie 2 years ago

the kids were in the house with my boyfriend .he had been watching the kids sience they were born, he plays with then (the ages or 10 8)the kids polk him he polks back,when the kids come to the house the first thing they do is go to him, but that day the 10 year girl told the kids down the road he touch her ,put they were polking around but he got 10 years to sign as a sex afferender and its not right now its been a few mouths and she tells her mom nothing happened (the kids or my grandkids)what can we do


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 2 years ago from Michigan Author

Annie,

I would have to ask, was he convicted by a jury, or was did he plead guilty? You don't just get put on the registry without a conviction. Innocent people won't easy take a plea deal unless there is an underlying reason that makes them feel this is ok to take the deal. Jury convictions on the other hand can be overturned on appeal when new evidence (such as a witness changing what they testified to) comes out. That said, your reason that children love your boyfriend does not sit well with me. Let me explain why, first many children just like abused women love their abusers and will do almost anything to protect them. Sexual offenders especially, gain the trust and admiration of their victims in order to get them to comply with what they want to do to them. One thing is no women would ever let a man rape them; however, child molestation is not the same as rape. The victims while not wanting this to happen often trust these people and love them enough so they won't tell anyone and they go along with being molested. They later realize that something is wrong and they act out trying to get someone to figure out what happened to them, often times due to being afraid to come forward, thinking they did something wrong. Now all that said, I will speak to no one's guilt or innocence here except for the children's.

We all know children can make up stories, and we know sometimes these stories can get others in trouble. One thing that stands out when I think about these kids and I don't believe most people realize is they are dragged through the mud and given a ton of chances to deny what happened to them long before anything goes to court. It’s easy to be blinded to this simply because unless you’re the parent or guardian of the child that was molested, you will never understand the process or the torment that happens afterwards to these victims. We all sympathize with the abuser simply because we could all imagine what it would be like to be falsely accused and would never want that to happen to anyone, so it’s easy to rationalize innocence and hard to fathom guilt. We also find it very difficult to believe someone we know is capable of these things because deep down we see it as a reflection of our own judgment of a person. In other words we feel if they did this and I was home, or I introduced them to these kids than this is my fault, which is simply not the case.

My best advice for your boyfriend is, if he was found guilty and you guys honestly believe this never happened and know for a fact the victim has now claimed she made it all up. Then contact an attorney and fight to appeal this conviction; however, keep in mind some children just want this to go away after all the hell they have gone through and change their story just to get people to leave them alone about it. They just want to be normal again, and unfortunately they will never be innocent children again, it was stolen from them. Going after the victim may just back fire on someone that is guilty by bringing more victims forward and more of the story may come out. I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck here and I hope the truth does come out, no one should be wrongly convicted of any crime in my opinion, just as no victim should ever have to go through the hell abusers put them through.


stressedout1095 2 years ago

Just found out that the creep we are dealing with and his lawyer have filed for a bill of particulars. meaning after 6/7 months of therapy my daughter has to go sit and try to remember days /dates/ times /and details AGAIN !...People don't understand that most (all) victims suffer from PTSD to some degree and this will only make it worse.Please say a prayer for us we have that meeting March 14th 2014


Concernedmom81 2 years ago

I ask no one to take offense to my comment everyone's situation is different I'm sure there are some that have been accused that are innocent and that horrible but I'm sure there are more that we're guilty and not a accused which is even worse . The main point is weather the child was telling the truth or told to lie the victim is the child and that's were the focus needs to be you need to truly as yourself why would the child lie what kind of a person is the accused yes no man good or bad deserves to be pegged as a molester if he isn't and after going through the hell I went through with my own daughter my opinion and comments are geared towards my situation . My daughter was 3 when she told my family she was molested by my ex she was staying at my moms for the night I was home with my ex at our apartment my daughter was raised from birth never to lie no matter what I'm sure there are some 3 year old who know how to lie but for a 3 year old to graphically describe something that wouldn't be possible at that age and then say the same thing weeks later to someone else I to this day don't know if that's possible . After she told my family I still wasn't aware until I got a knock at my door by a Dcf worker the next day explaining what they were told .now my ex was a father of a 8 year old daughter that that he saw occasionally and he also helped me raise my daughter from 3 weeks old and he never gave her baths never changed her wiped her I never saw anything ever inappropriate while he was with my daughter and she never acted distant from him or like she was scared from 3 weeks to 3 when this was said but what she did see from age 1 to 3 was the screaming insulting and abuse I endured by this same man continually so ya that's when I started seeing some resistance from her but still nothing to make me think molestation now during this time my family grew to truly hate this man after the years of seeing my black eyes bruised ribs and hospital visits who wouldn't I myself hated him but feared him too much more which kept me from leaving and even though he was a violent controlling horrible man the thought of abuse never entered my mind I still couldn't see it he never hurt my daughter now keep in mind she is 3. I didn't know what to believe he swore it wAs disgusting and insulting and he raised her and loved her as his own of coarse no man is going to say yes I molested your daughter he had me wondering was my family doing this to get me away from him he was really good at playing the victim and making you feel like shit for questioning him. Dcf made him leave our apartment were I stayed alone with my daughter so this gave me time to really think and look back and also talk to my daughter now again keep in mind she is 3 and watched this man hurt her mom over and over when I asked her what happened I explained to her no matter what she told me I would protect her keep her safe and most if all believe her she told me several times no mommy he didn't touch me but when I also asked if he didn't then who told you to say he did as I named every family member she said no to each of them confused and angry and scared I now still didn't know what to think weeks later when I was driving her to her evaluation where she was questioned by a specialist by herself for the two weeks up to this eval she saw only me none of my family and not my ex I didn't question her anymore in these 2 weeks leading up to the eval but in the car right before in the parking lot I did say to her just tell the truth whatever happened just tell the truth if it really didn't happen you need to say that if it did happen you need to say that while in the waiting room awaiting the outcome I couldn't remember even once that I ever left her alone with him I slept in bed with her every night he never watched her without me even for a second I just couldn't think of when it could of happened . I was brought in hours later with my daughter in a separate room told that she described and admitted to being molested now if a 3 year old was told by someone to make up a story and for weeks didn't hear that story wouldn't it be different or changed hers wasn't I was told she seems like she knows exactly what happened to her and she was molested now more confused them ever but a part of me still didn't think it happened but I didn't want to chance it so I packed our stuff and moved us to my moms while there I was still so confused she kept telling me it didn't happen and at the same time still telling my family it did a year of police investigation and interviews and Dcf and it was found to not have enough sufficient evidence to be guilty and unsubstantiated by Dcf and still having my daughter now almost 5 saying no mommy it he didn't touch me . Still confused but now feeling maybe it didn't happen I just couldn't see it his family always let him watch there kids he never acted any way with any kid including mine any way other then the way a normal dad would act toward there daughter or son I was still at my moms at this point I didn't really believe it but still didn't want my daughter with us or him so I would see him without her which led to leaving her with my mom a lot my confusion and hurt led to me turning into a addict just wanted to be numb and of coarse he had no problem with my addiction he started it for me with his own leaving my daughter out of confusion led to leaving her out of fear of her seeing more and worse abuse this went on for 4 years throughout these 4 years my family never stopped making accusation after accusation which led to his anger toward the situation being taken out on me more and more frequently this lasted until my daughter was 9 me leaving her with family to be with him out of fear he would kill me or harm my family I grew to hate him to imagine killing him in his sleep at times and it also grew to my now 9 year old daughter thinking I loved him more then her and her resenting and treating me like dirt but all these years my daughter still kept saying he didn't touch her. Finally he got arrested for a drug and robbery charge landing him in jail and giving me the courage I needed to leave him but not before I became pregnant with his son he was in jail for months my daughter was in therapy do to her severely acting out in school and at home at age 10 my daughter through therapy told me mom he did touch me I told you he didn't because I thought he was going to hurt you and I just wanted to keep you safe while he was in jail it gave me a lot of time to look back over the years and truly realize I missed all the signs that pointed to she was molested she was potty trained at age 18 months but at age 3 around the time of the accusation she started wetting the bed again and every cat we ever got she would torture it with anger and intent to really want to hurt it and at age 10 before she told me this she started wanting to hang out with bad kids I caught her talking dirty to guys ten times older then her on the computer . It all made sense now he did touch her I was angry and hurt and filled with shame and guilt I tried reopening the case and tried making them look over all the evidence again I was told she was 4 and it was unsubstantiated can't be reopened well I wasn't letting that be he was out of jail at this point and our son was 2 he never saw him and all the anger of the past abuse and my daughter was driving me to become stronger and stronger I filed for termination of rights to his son during all this my daughter turned 11, 12 and started doing drugs, drinking, sneaking out having sex with guys older then her and she began cutting her self she was still in therapy extensive therapy and she told every therapist she was molested her story never changed her behavior was getting worse no one would help me Dcf got called on me my daughter is now 13 Dcf took her away 8 months ago to a psych hospital saying I couldn't keep her safe from herself she got out 2 days ago she's doing good but now she's telling me he never touched her that at 3 she made it up all alone so I would pay more attention to her. Dcf care 8 months and now it never happened. What now.


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 2 years ago from Michigan Author

Unfortunatly this is a super hard situation your in. First let me say I am not a pshycologist but I will try to address what I can from my personal experiences and research. Your daughter is displaying signs of someone who was sexually abused, normal children act out but not to the same extremes as sexually abused children, to act out by having sex speaks volumes. For a small child to refuse to tell you they were abused does not suprise me, because you yourself was part of that abuse. No, Im not saying you abused your daughter, Im saying she watched you abused and no longer seen you as her protector. Being taken away more than likely made her shut down and just say forget it nothing happened to me. Kids will say anything to be back in the home after being taken away. Abused kids will sometimes change their story after being taken out of the home simply because they want to go home. This is something that makes abuse so difficult to prove with children to begin with. Pyshical abuse leaves marks, often times mental abuse, and molestation does not, molestation can be physical trauma but leaves a ton of mental trauma. For one a typical 10 year old may be able to tell you certain things about sex, but because it is still foriegn to them they will not be able to explain it in great details. A 3 year old even if they over heard a conversation would not have a clue what they were saying and would definately not have details of anything. I can't speak to whether or not your daughter was molested, all I can say is a lot of your version of this story definately sounds like she was. It is more likely at this point she feels she has to protect you because of everything you have been through, and does not see you as her protector and feels she has to be strong for you. I am not sure why your daughter was taken away at this point, nor is it my business. I would say you guys have some trust issues to work on, and maybe need to focus on her needs a little more, although I am sure you feel like you are already consumed by her needs at this point. I would not focus on what she is doing wrong so much, but focusing on what she is doing right as a child would probably help to reasurre her you are there for her, along with some definate ground rules for moving forward that you know you wont bend on. She is acting out for attention and at her age this is a very difficult road you are on. It would have been ideal to reach her much younger but its not impossible to move forward. I wish you guys the best of luck and hope this helps, a little.


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 2 years ago from Michigan Author

I would like to say thank you for everyone who has wrote comments and shared their story here. Many parents and victims often find they are left with little to no information after they hear about a loved one being victim to sexual abuse. There is help out there, unfortunately you have to dig and search for it, and it may become very difficult to find in the begining. Now no these people are not going to pay your bills while you go through this trauma, unfortunately. You can usually call local counsling centers and ask for information about advocay centers in your area, they may have a list of contacts to give you, some will even reach out to specific places and have them get in touch with you. If there is not an advocy center available, some counsling locations have their own advocates that will work with you in finding programs to help. I spent the better part of 3 years contacting abuse clinics and writing letters to newpapers, congressmen, the attorney general and anyone else who would listen. At times it felt like we finally had break through while other times it was a waste of what little time I had; however, eventually we found the assistance we needed to get through it.


ella1955 2 years ago

My daughter is in a divorce that has gone since he left her 4 months pregnant. A drinking and drug abuser he was able to get visitation rights that had to be supervised. She is now 7 months old. I installed a nanny can a few months back. However I was not always able to download the files and review them. On Feb 17, 2014 I caught him!

The video shows him placing the baby on the changing table then immediately unzipping his fly and taking out an erect penis, checking it and putting it back. Further on the video it shows him wiping her bottom using his thumb and it appears he is penetrating her. Then he takes the baby's pants (already to put on as he placed them when he took them off) off camera (you can see him, just not his hands) wiping them on the only thing on that wall which is a towel rack.

Finding it odd that he pulled out an erect penis, I listened to the audio only preceding the video. What can clearly be heard is him masterbating, cuming while moaning softly. You can then hear him pulling tissue from a tissue box and wiping himself off. Meanwhile it is obvious that the baby was with him the whole time!

Police and DYSF saw the video and confirmed the audio but say that the audio is in admissible and on the video taking out his penis is not a crime. Nothing about how he wipes her bottom!!

We are mortified that with this information along with inappropriate comments he has made in front lot other family members that he is not being held accountable to answer questions about the audio and video.

We have a hearing on 3/19 in Portsmouth NH to review the status of the divorce and are very concerned about him getting overnight visitation rights with no supervision!

Any advice on how to protect this sweet little baby would be appreciated.

Thanks!


stressedout1095 2 years ago

Well the process has started for the Bill of particulars.....the night mares that we have fought so hard to get rid of are back....the tears that I see in my daughters eyes as she asks for her father and I to leave the room so she can talk freely just breaks my heart even more !....This will not break her or us !....he will be put in prison ! They are talking jury trial now instead of trying for a plea deal ! She says she doesn't know if she can make it thru a jury trial.....I pray for god to give her the courage and the power she needs to get thru this. so now we are back to weekly meetings with the DA office and then therapy and meeting with the sheriff's office to try and pin down days dates and times...even though the grand jury saw enough facts to charge him with 27 counts they say they may have to reduce it down to the ones with days and times......over a year of rape that she has got to relive....not that she doesn't already but that she has to talk about over and over and be questioned about in front of strangers...Honestly I think its easier for her talk about it with strangers than it is to see the horrified looks on our faces as she tells what happen....She has become my rock thru this..she gives me strength !.....This guy and his lawyer thinks they will break her/us....I thank god daily for the support group that we have.....the DA...the people from the sheriffs office and the advocacy center in our area...we are not just a number on a court docket...Please keep praying for our family....


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 2 years ago from Michigan Author

ella1955,

I wish I had some good advice here, so many times I have heard about police not pursing these cases or not hearing or seeing anything they could make an arrest on.

Some states require that child social services get notified in all these cases while others don't. So my only question here is were they involved. If not it may be possible to get them to start an investigation based on the video, which could prevent him from being around the child. I know having them involved may seem like it puts you at risk but it may be the only way to ensure someone will listen and see him as a threat to the child.


rogerthornton profile image

rogerthornton 2 years ago from Michigan Author

stressedout1095,

I have read all your post, and believe me when I say my prayers are with you. You said something in this article that I believe many parents of molested children find to be all to true. "She has become my rock thru this..she gives me strength !". The counseling and all the people who your daughter has had to answer to in the past has given her strength; however, as a parent, it never seems to get easier to hear and the set backs seem to keep coming through this process. I see a lot of post of people who claim to be falsely accused, and every time they state that its easy to convict based on a child's word. I am sure this comment will get a few more response telling me just that. I just want to say, I have heard more stories like yours, and I don't see any post on here from victims/survivors that saying how easy of a time it was for them to get someone convicted of these crimes. Even when a child does lie about someone, they go through a tremendous amount of scrutiny before this ever goes to a jury. To an actual victim of this type of abuse, it is much easier to change their story, thinking they can just get back to normal, but nothing is normal after that. The trauma last a lifetime, there is no turning it off or going back, the children have to learn to be strong, and learn how to be in control of their own destiny once again. Parents tend to feel alone through this, simply because child molesters are well like people, sometimes married, successful, and even great with kids. They are well like by their peers and this is how they build enough trust with the parents so they can get these kids to trust them. Less than 10% are strangers, and when its a close family friend or family themselves, people are less likely to believe the child. Simply because they know and trust this person and at some point the child has told a lie to avoid getting in trouble, and yet they don't believe that the adult would lie about the child.

I just want to add I have faith in your daughter, she clearly has a really strong support system, even if you feel weak at times, she feeds off your strength together there is nothing you guys can't accomplish. I sincerely hope when the truth comes out at trial the jury can tell the difference.


stressedout1095 2 years ago

* tears......Thank you for your kind words.....


Steve Orringer 2 years ago from Princeton, North Carolina

My case should show you how easy it is to obtain a conviction. The juries just convict them all. Look at my case on www.falseconvictions.com and you will see exactly what I am talking about. My own lawyer turned on me and hid evidence. Fabricated a story about how the confession happened. It is true. Just take a look at the Victim Impact tab (Statement was written by the boys mother, not the accuser) just two weeks prior to trial. The child in my case confessed directly to my face that he was sorry. Please read the confession tab and it will show you how my lawyer hid it. I would really appreciate your signature on my petition if you believe in my innocence. My petition is www.justiceforstephen.com. Read Photo. I will never give up until they clear my name. I even met this childs father and he said, "You can see why we got divorced, and it is better you than me." I was told by the boys mother that he was molested by his father, yet, I am the one convicted. Makes no sense. Please comment on my blog at blog.falseconvictions.com. I am working very hard on my case and will never give up until they clear my name. You can follow me on Twitter. My user name is SeekJustice1. My lawyer was a former District Court judge and they bought his phony fabricated story during a Motion for Appropriate Relief hearing. There was a tape and I went to Vermont to pick up a witness. The rest of it is false. I am so outraged. I discovered this last year. 2012


Steve Orringer 2 years ago from Princeton, North Carolina

I feel sorry for any child that has been molested. It saddens me that it happens in todays society. My lawyers not only turned on me, but the prosecution in my case was corrupt too. They hid a June 1993 court date saying that they could not find me. I had to call in everyday to the court house. I had my bond revoked, warrant for my arrest issued, yet it was all cleared up without me knowing anything about it. I would never have found out about this. But I did, since I did some researching my own case. Further, they worked together to keep the conviction, they allowed me to remain out on bond for almost A YEAR after my appeal was denied so the new NC Sex Offender registration law would affect me. I hope you will be as outraged as I am and sign the petition at www.justiceforstephen.com so I can be heard and get the justice I have been waiting for the last 24 years. Thank you for your support.


stressedout1095 2 years ago

Laws are made to protect the innocent!....not to convict the guilty!....what about the victims ?? what do the laws do for them...a protection order does nothing to protect a victim.....nothing protects the victims !!!....laws are only as good as the person who interprete's them...one simple word or the way it is phrased can change the out come.....WHO is protecting the victims of these crimes !!!!!......dragging them thru trial after trial....AFTER they have been in therapy for months trying to recover their now scared life....when people think or hear the word "rape"...they think a violent assault.....which many many times it is...But its the silent things that happen that go unspoken....where these children/people are drug thru the mud for coming forward...to place a child or a victim on the stand close enough to the person who did this to them for them to be able to hear them whispering and trying to distract them while they testify is cruel....the justice system sucks !!..Protect our victims at all cost!!!....let them heal....don't drag stuff out...Im just pissed....I will never understand


stressedout1095 2 years ago

Our local DA moved on trying a plea deal...The defense rejected it...I was pissed that the DA even offered a deal without talking to us first ! They made another offer today,havent heard anything...I spent the day in tears !!!....We are facing a jury trial in June....the judge is a strange cookie and I think the DA is scared of him !...I have to keep reminding me that even if this creep takes probation and sexual offenders registry as a plea that is still a victory for us....IF hes on the SOR then he will have to move....and if hes on probation he will have to be drug tested and alcohol tested...Im trying to hold our life together with a string...I just feel so alone...trying to put on a good face and smile...Keeping my daughter strong thru this is my goal....


Annette 2 years ago

Wonder If You Have Known Some One for Over 15 years and a FALSE accusation was put Towards The Person I Know He Has Been BUCKING THIS FKN ZIONIST SYSTEM NOW FOR 20 YEARS! HES DONE TIME AND EVERYTHING As I WAS TOLD BY THE FAMILY 14 Years Ago What Really Happened and They Were Sorry! I don't Mean To Sound IGNORANT I WAS 14 Years Old And Me and My Friend Wanted To Stay Out all Night We Were In A Foster Home And I Blamed a Person a Guy and Said He had Sex With Me! I NOW KNOW I PROBABLY RUINED HIS LIFE. NOW THE KARMA COMES BACK ON ME! NOT EVERY ONE IN THIS SYSTEM IS GUILTY! AS IT WAS MY WORD OVER HIS! GOD PLEASE FORGIVE ME!


Tausha1978 2 years ago

Here's the back story: I met a girl online at my online school. We became friends. She told me of all the physical abuse she had been enduring in her marriage and her two daughters were witness to it. I invited her to move into my house with me and my family until she got on her feet. During this time, my parents came to visit a total of 2 times. My "friend" was not comfortable around men, to say the least. She never let them around any men. That was no problem for my husband, because he couldn't stand her kids, so he stayed away. I saw a lot about her and her children while she lived in my home. While still being an online student, she also used the computer as an escape goat from her children and devoted that time towards talking to guys on facebook. She also did not let her children do anything that regular children do, like go outside and play, play with the dog, or watch TV. They were allowed to read and do educational workbooks. When we celebrated Easter at my house, she never once left the bedroom, talking to some guy on the computer, while the rest of the house was left having to watch her children. I also noticed that her younger daughter acted unusual. She was clingy to me, my father, and my children. She acted out everyday. She also stole money from my father and food from me. She played with her dolls in a sexual manner, so they could have babies. This little girl even said that she wished that I was her mother. I told my "friend" that it seemed like her daughter had been sexually abused. (It was easy to notice, being that I was sexually abused by my uncle when I was a toddler. It happened again in a movie theater by my Gospel choir director in college. I never told about my uncle until a few years ago, out of fear of the unknown. I am 35 years old now. However, I retreated from civilization in college and a true friend made me report the guy and go get help.) After 3 months, I helped move her into her own apartment and helped her get furniture. Just before she moved out, she started talking to me about moving this online guy in with her. I told her that I did not think it was a good idea. She soon broke up with that guy. All the while, her daughter continued to act in the same manner and constantly getting in trouble at daycare. School started for the kids and it did not go well for her younger daughter. She got in trouble almost instantly. I reminded her of my thoughts about her being sexually abused and that she should get her family, especially her younger, into counseling. She met another man. This man is a foreigner, homeless, living in a shelter, has been divorced, and is old enough to be her father. She moved him into her home after a couple of weeks. Soon after that, her younger daughter threw the biggest fit at the school and ran out of the building. So, she got expelled and had to send her to another school. About one week ago, I get a phone call from her saying that her daughter accused my father of touching her vagina. I do not know how that could be when she never let her girls around any men at all. My 72 year old father was either falling asleep on the couch, sitting in a chair at the dining room table, or smoking a cigarette on the porch or somewhere outside. My father nor any other man was ever around her daughter in private to do such a thing. She also called my father. She wanted me to give her my parents' address so she could press charges and said that if I didn't do it, she would assume that I knew about it and that I was participating. Even with the threat, I did not do it. I told her that she needed to cal my dad and get the address from him. She called and he gave her the address. My father was shocked by the whole thing and my mom went hysterical. I feel like what I told her was true about her daughter, that she was molested way before they came to my house. I also feel like she coerced her daughter int saying that it was my dad, being that was the only man that she was ever close enough to. My dad was devastated to hear this, because he love kids and does all that he can to encourage them. I have four children of my own and I have never had a reason to suspect him of anything. Under the circumstances, I believe that my dad is innocent and being wrongfully accused. We cannot afford an attorney. What should we do? Any and all advice is appreciated. I do not want my father to be convicted of something I know he did not do.


Robert Curtis 2 years ago

Sir, you wrote this article and from what I read in your responses to the responses. The subject of the piece is violated in the content of your later writings. Truth is it is very easy to convict someone charged innocent or not. Why? Because most juries will error on the side of the child rather than the accused just in the off chance the guy was guilty. It is a guilty until proving yourself innocent. Ever try to prove a negative? Can't be done. Evidence is often not even present. It's the emotions involved and fear of the courts to appear as NOT sticking up for the child. The media loves to have a child victim to broadcast as being violated and the accused set free. The judges and DA's are strapped in a situation of slamming the innocent at the off chance they may appear light on crime and not defending a child. TRUTH


greg 2 years ago

hi I have a question my friend has been accused of sexual abuse from his two stepdaughters its been 4 months and he hasn't heard anything has been falsely accused.all because they didn't agree with his rules and wanted to live somewhere else


Anonymous 2 years ago

Shortly before Christmas odd details started adding up . My oldest daughter was becoming more apparently upset . A certain family member who has always Inserted self in our life (with little choice in my end) was causing problems ,bigger problems than we ever imagined . She was my daughters' grandmother . She has seemed to have offended before the way she groomed my daughter . The lies, deceit ,and drama behind every detail to distract from what she was Doing . My daughter 8 y.o. Came forward after weeks away from grandma and told me some disturbing details . Later my 4 y.o. Daughter came forward with more things . Not knowing what to do believing my children with my whole heart . My fiancé and I talked it over and again with our daughter to make sure she understand what's she's saying and we are understanding her correctly also . This was less than a few days before Christmas , all offices and treatment centers were closed . I called and reported the abused with a heavy heart to the child protective services hotline on a Sunday . I did not even hear from them again for over a week and a half . Apparently my children's innocence wasn't as important as they're vacation . I was treated as a flake . When I am a mother with genuine concern and a feeling of utter failure ,from failing to see my mother In law as a literal Monster in law ! I had a nervous breakdown from the stress . The woman had her marry band of fake "good people" . Surround her and pretend she was perfect . They painted a picture of me being a liar , a crazy person and a bad mother . I know I am a wonderful mother . The way my daughters are now proves this . The detective we had treated me dismissively . Even though they excepted false reports from the other side claiming they were threatened . They would not except any proof or information I had to supply them . Letters written to me showing the woman's dementia . The whole law system is based on Protecting the adult "potential abuser" .. Not the "potential victim " or child (don't understand how I child victim has less rights like they don't matter !) .. The world seems to thrive on the demise of society . So why would anybody care about a grandmother who ran day care about 5-6 times . works and worked at three schools and, regularly attends children's events for fun . Was obsessed with her nieces when they were toddlers as well . Abused special needs babies dunked them in ice cold baths , locked children outside on winter with no coat , beat children numb while there screamed from the back room. (Those are not instances with my children) .They all tried to make me believe I was the problem ,but when you step back for a moment and know who we are this isn't something people like us would make up .the fact a extremely sick individual like this is still out there makes my skin crawl . As does it several other people . She had worked last spring at an elementary school in Michigan (not sure if shes back there ) they did not suspend her even with the pending investigation .which as a parent aside from our situation ,shouldn't that be some sort of law . if being under accusation of such things shouldn't that person not be allowed contact with children ? Since my pieces of evidence were not even looked at ,dismissed in fact . The case was dropped by the prosecutor . We were beyond heartbroken . She did her cover work well made me look crazy . Started fights between the siblings to cause distraction pointed blame . And made up complete fabricated lies . I'm not entirely sure why this didn't go through . I almost feel as if Michigan didn't want such a heinous crime tied to this pretty little city . Knowing a grandmother could do such things . Or if they really couldn't prove it . The night terrors and explicit details told to me by my children can not be made up . I am not in this for glory or bloodshed but to hope that maybe one single child can be saved . Maybe someone else will see the monster she is . Hopefully not by it happening again . assume that a special layer of hell does exist for those like her . It sends this message that the child can't tell the parent or they might be making it up . Sends the message look how easy it is to get away with are you kidding me ?! I love my children and this has shaken our family to its core . I said from the beginning .it's not a case if it happened , it's a case of if we can prove it or not .. So sad it has to be this way .


k.gina 2 years ago

My children were ,molested by an old man who fled to Mexico.There was a witness qho took my son to this guy without my consent where molestation took place. But instead of reporting what he saw he tried to say i harassed him..all i asked was why dodnt he say anything in a mad manner. We still have the clothes my daighter wore in a ziploc the day this all occured.

But im putting it all i gods hands. For he is the only redeemer


Steve Orringer 2 years ago from Princeton, North Carolina

You must not be from North Carolina. Families of molested children go through hell, true. How about the families of falsely accused people. The accusers don't have to spend one cent. The defendant has to spend their whole life savings to defend against a false allegation. While I believe that children do get molested, you have to understand where I am coming from. When you deal with people that have no values, they do not care who they hurt. I feel very sorry for my accusers. I will keep on calling talk shows and giving them their numbers until they agree to tell the truth. I bet they cant pass a polygraph test. I can and I have. I will take one on national TV. Read my site. www.falseconvictions.com. There are documents there to prove my innocence. I would like to contact my accusers, however, they would find a way to charge me with something else. They are that kind of people. Hope this gets aired out on TV. Unless it affects you, you have no idea what falsely accused people go through.


cazmac 22 months ago

I'm sorry to have to disagree with you but my Father has been accused of false historical sex crimes by my late Mother's side of the family.The evil b@st@rds waited until all the people who could prove his innocence to die,nice people eh.Their reason for doing this horrible crime is firstly to get a murdering family member out of prison,to receive criminal injuries compensation money and to destroy our lives.The police were useless the Keystone Kops would have been better in charge and anyway this evil family are close personal friends with the police.My poor innocent father has to attend court all this week and find out on Friday if he is to go to jail.Is that fair answer me that.These lying b@st@rds should be taken out an executed for what they have done to my decent family.By the way they are prostitutes,murderers,alcoholics,flashers,junkies and incestuous and that's the b@st@rds that are accusing my father.They have got a damn cheek,we have no one for advice and they have the victim support who by the way weren't interested in our case.


Perplexed beyond belief 19 months ago

I am the grandmother of two little girls who were 2 and 3 at the time they started saying things about their grandfather (my ex) that sounded like sexual abuse. They had all the signs and knew words that little girls that age are not aware of. He babysat my granddaughters when my daughter went to work. Besides crying when he came, he wanted to bath them and change their diapers and the youngest keep repeating some things that he did to her. Their mother, my daughter called DYFS and they were questioned and examined and the case was referred to the Prosecutor. He stated if the girls age 2 and 3 did not tell him what happened then "it pretty much did not happen". Well the girls did not talk to this man they had never seen before and the their grandfather never was questioned. He made sure he hired a lawyer though. DYFS "substantiated" the case but now he is appealing their decision. My daughter has not been herself since and is beyond despair and I just can't believe how the justice system totally disregarded the hurt and trauma that my family has gone through and he was never questioned. I wish I could get an explanation for why this became such a nightmare when trying to protect children. The kicker was my sister who is 10 years younger was also molested by this man (my ex) and she came out with the story when my granddaughters did. Three generations of hurt!! And no justice!


Bad mom 16 months ago

As if it isn't enough I married someone who turned out to be the lowest form of life... I have joint custody. After four years of my baby girl thinking it was okay because that is what daddy's do. She spent the last for years holding a secret that click forever change who she could have been. She told me last week. I called and filed a report that day. Since then the detective says its just the story of one girl, they don't see it going very far. I tried to get her to a psychologist but was told the PIECE OF SHIT that did this HAS to by law give permission for treatment! I'm losing my mind. This shit my baby girl said... There is not a chance in hell an 11 year old can make that up! He lives out of state (moved four years ago) I have to do something! I can't tell he to just forget about it. I can't get her help. His niece lives with him I can't help that little girl. I can't do anything. I have never felt so lost and hopeless. I am disgusted by the laws of this country. Because selfish people lie about this shit my kid suffers. If I die they will send them to live with him. If he finds out she told. He will hunt us and kill me, her, and her brother. By the time most of you read this he will have already found us. I hope reading the words of a mother that was killed by the father of her children bring you the courage you need. You are not alone like me.


mike 13 months ago

damn right false allegations are out of hand especially exes that are trying to get custody if cps has came to a person house every time the ex has the kid and every time they are investigating you for stuff that keeps going down the list like fist no food crap in the house bad hygiene then week later 2 drugs week later abuse verbal physical week 3 molestation the top of the list the whole time every visit they saw with there own eyes that what was reported was lies every time the people being slandered should have a right to have some thing done about this kind of shit if the cps worker cant see the pattern they need fired and sued for being unprofessional and providing means to slander and if it is the same person reporting some one they should be told after the fist report if nothing was found wrong that if they make further reports and nothing is found wrong they will be held liable on slander charges


Norma Olson 10 months ago

I believe my son this girl is spoiled and is by polar had no treatment before this accusation runs her mom. Dad said it is Sunday you have school tomorrow you can't go. And she looked at him and said you will be sorry. This is why I know she is making false accusations.


lisa 5 weeks ago

My son was raped at the age 10 by a 13 year old boy 3 times his size in our own house while we were in the room.. I can look back now and I thought it was the bullies he would deal with our situation at home was all screwed up cause both his father and I were also abused and we drank and abused drugs cause we didn't get help.. We fought constantly we called cops constantly crying for help.. No one ever did anything until my son had weed in school.. But that was later.. And he was the baby.. Now my 10 year old started acting out going into Jr high.. He was always alone everyone treated him like shit called him faggot ..told him he look like a girl.. I didn't know how to deal with him.. He would attack me with so much hate and I would loose it and tell him the wrong things and whoop his ass just to get him off of me.. I would scream at him and tell him what's wrong why are you like this now.. Blamed my self cause I didn't know how to even help my self I was suicidal and had many mental breakdowns.. So we think it's just all of that as if it wasn't bad enough for him.. Basically he was me when I was his age.. I look at the pictures of after he was abused now and it shatteres my heart cause I didn't know what he went through in my own house and no wonder he hated me because I was there and always would go and check on them.. The room was way on the other end they would have games on.. The boy was older.. He was 13 but you see him and think he was 20. My son was tiny and already everyone target.. So he waited till the brother and usually other Friends were there too...My son said it was the only time they were alone.. I trusted him with my son.. Well to be raped by a boy first of all is so disgusting and my baby was so innocent.. Now he is 18 and has been out of school since 7th grade.. He tried to kill himself in school.. I took him out cause I feared he would take his life because he already had been raped.. I didn't even know.. He didn't stop at slitting his wrists in school.. Then he hated his ears and I mean big popped his earlobes so bad again went to hospital.. He started fighting me constantly taking off.. Started doing any drug on the planet said he wanted to die that why was he even born.. We had a cps case Finally opened and now we were homeless.. They were staying where ever a Friend would help me out with them.. His younger brother was place in a rehab and he and I lived in my car.. He would wait hours for me while at work.. All this and he had been raped.. I was so pist at my self and blame my self.. How could I not hear him... This was 4 years ago.. He was at home and mind you in a tiny house we made and still live in cause I'm struggling.. Mostly it was hard to work cause I was always expecting something from him.. If you see the pics of him in 5th grade he was happy.. Funny outgoing.. He even performed in the talent show doing Thriller.. I bought the year book that year. Look at him after he has no sparkle in his eyes.. He even started walking with his back and shoulders kinda in a hunch position.. He started hanging with only drug kids cause he had no friends.. I would go take him out call cops even have beat the crap out some people.. Then I got my eye punched in by some lunatic and everyone blames him. Again he starts going to a cousin they were older he was only 14. I was in hospital.. They had him hooked on bars and meth. I went to try to get him.. He would keep going back.. He told me now that he didn't care how they treated him.. Told him they wanted to kill him for hurting me when he didn't.. Made him do the drugs almost of 3 times and the way I got him out was because they would make him breakup pit bulls from fighting.. Grown men doing this to my child.. He would still go back.. Make him clean dog crap.. Call him faggot..make fun of his hair his ears.. Yet he kept going back because he said he wanted to stop breathing because when he was raped by that boy and forced to do horrible shit.. He said that day he already had died.. My poor baby lived with that shit for 4 years.. Alone cause we work..All that time to torture himself..Barely this year I've been here cause I had an accident and lost my job.. So now it's me and him and he never leaves the house but to take a bath.. He has no friends.. He still gets bullied on FB. Has no girlfriend.. Does not care about his looks.. He is loosing his hair.. He wants to end his existence on this planet and hates me but I'm the only one that is here.. So what can he do.. He has no friend to go to.. Withdrawn totally from social life.. School.. Since the age of 14 I have taken him to different dr. S he always tells them he is fine they close cases on him.. The cops come but are really nice to him and don't ever take him in for anything because they feel bad for him.. We all would ask him to talk to us.. But he wouldn't say anything.. Until a month ago.. First the crying and screaming in his sleep.. Then we have to go use bathroom in our trailer that is being renovated.. I would go over there he would come in crying in so much pain almost like he was gonna have a mental breakdown or anxiety attack and tell me mom I don't know what I am.. I am a freak.. Thats y know one likes me. Now regreting his games ears as well.. Hearing and getting looks from everyone.. Then thinking that the people that would call him faggot new what had happened to him.. Was ripping him apart.. He had girlfriends after.. But was also being abused by them as well.. He would take all there bullshit.. Believe me 14 year old girl s can be mean too and deceitful.. The whole thing is after he was raped by excuse my language.. But that Mfk was the faggot..Davis of the band lorn explains it explicitly to the t.. I have nothing against gay's.. But I told him you are not gay nor a faggot..The faggot is that Mfk who raped my boy...


lisa 5 weeks ago

Anyway my son lived with that violation of his body.. His soul his spirit his life all this time.. And when it came close to even talking about it he was already going through so many different things.. Crying.. I have to help him wash his hands he can't be alone.. He looks around scared sometimes he doesn't seem like he even know where he is.. Then he comes to and screaming at the top of his lungs he says he forced him grabbing h by his hair and even hurting him with his private by shoving it in his mouth my 10 year old baby.. And said he penetrated his texting while holding him down.. Mind you this kid was bigger than a normal 13 year old..it hurt him and he could not even scream out to me and I didn't go check this time think I fell to sleep.. That's not all he says he can't go into details of what ever else he did to him because he starts crying so bad and tells me I want to forget.. He killed my son on that day 4 years ago.. I want to kill the bastard and his mom.. I texted him as soon as I knew.. She said horrible stuff.. That my son wanted to do it. Can you believe that.. He is ten and had plenty of girls all the time.. He did not want to be raped by anyone especially a boy.. And after all that he can get away with it.. My son is destroyed.. I look at pics. Of when he was still him. He has no will to live and it is tearing us apart.. Why did that sick boy take my sons life.. And gets to get away with it. He don't want to even press charges.. He said he never wanted anyone to know cause now they were really gona say he was gay.. Sometimes I hate people.. They can be so hateful to an innocent angel from God. To think everything he went through after that cause he felt dead already.. His last attempt was here at home in my garage.. He said he don't want to have it playing in his head over and over again.. It will never stop.. That's not evidence enough.. Even the cops knew something was wrong.. We just didn't think the worst thing in the world that a 10 year old boy could go through and in our house in his room.. No wonder he would split.. Im proud of him though.. He hasn't try to run away and has been drug free for years.. It's hard cause I didnt stop till 20 years late.. Still have my bad days.. But I'm also drug free.. But I want to take his life like he took my boys.. Bastard then trying to blame him.. Uggghhh.. God help us.. Make him crawl through pits of hell and raped for eternity through every freaking hole in his body including his eyes.. I don't like how I feel but I can't help it I want to hurt him so bad..

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