Okay, say you have to marry one of these women/men:
A is SUPER attractive, but he/she treats you like crap. Runs around on you, lies constantly, is lazy, has no loyalty, is mean, and is generally just a bad person.
B isn't physically attractive. He/she isn't actually ugly but is "plain." Not someone that would get second looks, but not ugly enough to stop a train. BUT this person treats you very well, is smart, loyal, kind, funny, supportive, honest, and a great person.
Which would you choose? Be honest! I think I know how most of you will answer. When I posed this question to male high school seniors, most chose A. The girls were split, with slightly more choices for B.
I love it. I have never loved a woman that was not beautiful to me. Hmm, freckles, pug noses, too short, too fat, too skinny never crossed my mind. Now you have me wondering "is my wife truly attractive". Hmmm. Well thanks for the question, I think I will leave this train of thought before it is to late ;-)
Definitely B! When you're a mature adult, you understand that looks aren't everything and that being treated with respect, IS everything.
Most A's would probably choose B's, and Most B's would probably choose B's as well. The conundrum starts because even A's try and act like B's at the start, and when boredome or ego show their face the A side of them is truly revealed often trapping B into a hurtful relationship that the B's loyalty will not easily let go of. A on the other hand will eventually move on to the next B that catches their fancy, and begin the whole ugly circuit all over again, leaving a line of heartbroken, slow to trust again B's in their wake.
That's my take on it anyway.Lol.
1. Looks are very temporary
2. There is ALWAYS something beautiful in everyone of us
3. If you're going to marry that person, you're in love with him/her, and if you're in love, that person is the most beautiful in the world.
A is the definitive description of my ex... Did you know her?
Not likely to happen but if I were ever to get involved again I would have to say B. Once bitten, etc.
B. Looks do not define a person. Actions do! No thanks to the A's.
For my seniors who chose A, I wish I could go back to see if some years of maturity have changed their minds!
I would choose B, because I'm looking for a companion for the rest of my life. Her personality is what matters! I don't care about the looks. Beauty lies within.
I chose A when I was young. Oh lordy what I wouldn't do for a 'do-over'!! Although, I must admit, it was a wild ride!! :-D
Now that I'm getting old-er I am so very happy with my B. He is all that I need and all that I want and he brings out the best in me. I'm a much more giving, feeling person now. The defenses are down and I am safe.
I recently saw an interview with Bo Derek. Her comments were about how she felt silly when someone complimented her on her appearance and she was obligated to say thank-you, because her appearance has nothing to do with who she is. She just happens to fall into societies current fashion of what is considered beautiful. I agree. Our bodies are not of our making. Yes we can use grooming and self care to look our best, but the basics are there in our DNA. I would much rather be admired for something I created or my warm heart.
Another thought…have you ever met someone who was rather plain, but as you got to know them they became incredibly attractive? Maybe their sense of humour or kindness or mannerisms made them appealing. I have! Have you ever met someone physically drop dead gorgeous who, over time became ugly to you due to their vanity or cruelty or selfishness? Me too.
Someone mentioned that people get better looking when they have good personalities (or something to that effect). Have you noticed that the opposite is true as well? Someone you thought was gorgeous just doesn't look that good to you once you discover he or she is rotten on the inside. I was surprised that so many chose A, but, then again, they are just kids. I think anyone with any experience in relationships would not even have to think about it before choosing B.
Definitely B, because as soon as the "A" person starts behaving like a horrible person, they just aren't super attractive anymore, no matter how they look physically.
Option B for me. I'd rather be with someone who respects me, and is loyal to me. Looks fade as time carries on anyway.
Definitely "B" - It sounds like "A" would not even qualify as a marriage - nothing two-way about it.
I think A is that person that we have all known at one point. The past tense being the most important part.
You are assuming that all ugly people are nice and respectful - not so, and also that all very attractive people treat people like crap. I know some very beautiful people that are also that way on the inside (I'll admit, quite rare), but there are some. Some ugly people have been treated like dirt because of their looks and have become ugly inside. It is more about attitude and experiences = how people end up as they grow old. Some men treat beautiful women like dirt to make themselves feel better and end up with an ugly wife. Have you seen the movie "Johnny Lingo"? Johnny took this "ugly" girl and made her in to a beautiful woman by the way he treated her. You can watch the full movie here:
It was filmed in my neighborhood on the North Shore of Oahu.
I think you make a good point about some assumptions, but I didn't get the idea that the question was stereotyping behaviors at all, only that the OP wanted to see responses from teenagers in her classes, and was curious about what adults think (since we have been through more experiences). I thought the question was geared more toward the superficial choices some people make before they mature.
It never says that in the question. the questions just gives you too examples.
You are right, Marcy. I just was trying to point out that you can take either A or B and by the way you treat them, influence the way they act. So many times we look at the other person instead of looking at the type of person we are. Maybe that is why an A would "Run around on you, lie constantly, be lazy, no loyalty, etc. (depending on how they were treated). Also a B can be changed to beautiful by the way he/she is treated.
I'd like to think you can change an "A," but I don't think that's always true - I've seen some that treated wonderful people terribly, and did all the things Habee mentioned here, even though they were loved deeply and treated well. Surely some would (perhaps) soften, but not everyone would.
Also, we should not marry people thinking that we can change them.
I'm not assuming that at all. I know some very attractive men and women who are wonderful people. I also know some unattractive people who are ugly on the inside, where it really counts.
A person who may seem ugly or plain to one person may be the prettiest girl in the world to another if they are compassionate and humble. Looks are subjective. So obviously I'd have to go with B.
Neither. If you're so desperate that you would actually make a choice between these two people because you're that lonley, you've got a problem with yourself. I'd rather be alone.
I'm having a tough time that you are even posing this question, Habee?.....Where's the choice? Except for very very shallow, stupid or masochistic morons, WHO would choose creep A?? Oh sure, HS school BOYS....answering through hormones and their "little head."
B would get the wedding....right after A's funeral..........
I blame it on my meds, Ffer! lol. And right after your response, you'll see that a hubber chose A - for his kids' DNA.
LMAO......OMG! Habee, this is crazy!....I guess Mr. "DNA for physical beauty"...does not understand...that our DNA accounts for the ENTIRE human...inside and out!.......
Yes, "These are my exquisitely Gorgeous children, Beauty beyond compare......pay no attention to the fact that they are rotten, incorrigible, nasty, mean, selfish little BEASTS......they have been bred for BEAUTY........aren't they miraculous?" LOL
A - If you are talking about marriage. Because with marriage comes kids. I want my kids to have the best DNA. I could always divorce A and marry B after the kids are born and let B raise the kids. A would not want kids running around anyway.
Being pretty plain myself, I never really had the option of having an "A" but I got to say, no one gets to treat me like dirt anymore, and quite honestly, my guy is one great looking duder
B of course! Real people in real relationships wouldn't go for A. It just wouldn't work!
As a high school kid seeing attention I'd choose A.
As someone being in a few relationships in my mid 20s, I'd pick B 11 times out of 10. I like smarts, mutual respect, and loyalty. Although in some cases, once a B gets noticed more, because you're a B+ or A-, or they get an A friend they tend to wander.
B is the correct and appropriate answer. Who in their logically deductive mind would choose A?
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