If it is only a day later and to be shared with her grandparent, (Mom's mother who lives in the same house ). Your kid is turning 13 so for the first time, the Mom's decides to share her daughter's big day (cake & candles) with a grandparents whose birthday falls on the next day. I am against it and think the child should have their own birthday celebrated alone ( or at least first) but Mom feels it can be shared on the next day, cake and all. Am I out of line.? Here's why I see it negatively: The mom has made some very bad remarks to the child, verbally abused her in public, not much physical abuse to warrant custody issues, never her buys her things, and the child has said a couple of time she want to live with her Dad. So, we believe this birthday delay is linked to it.
Sure the celebration part can wait til the weekend. but at least a smallish cake on the same day. Not axe murderers OK..but maybe an IRS tax collector (you opened the door on that one so couldn't resist; just joking of course.. LOL)
Heck no! 13 is a big deal...a milestone. I would celebrate my child's birthday with a few friends or neighbors FIRST and then have a second acknowledgement to the family-to heck with what mama wants, heck, she's already had her turn at 13. It only comes once in a lifetime. Good luck with it all and I certainly hope to hear from you the final outcome.
Stand strong, girl! YOu are your daughter's best advocate, and at this particular time, it seems like her only advocate.