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What is your definition of good wife?

  1. emimemo profile image78
    emimemoposted 3 years ago

    I over heard somebody saying, " I need a good wife, I 've got a trophy wife." Please share your opinion about good wife and trophy wife." Also if you have any opinion about "good husband and trophy husband", please share.

    1. Kevin Peter profile image76
      Kevin Peterposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      A good wife according to some culture is a women who love her husband equal to God. She must be willing to suffer a lot for her family. According to me, a good wife never thinks of her problems, but always wish that her family members stay happy always.

      1. psycheskinner profile image80
        psycheskinnerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Wow. So making your husband a false idol is good? I thought that was blasphemy?

      2. healinghands1668 profile image85
        healinghands1668posted 2 years ago in reply to this

        A wife who never worries about herself is one who is unhappy, resentful, and incapable of saying when she needs help. The more a wife--or anyone else for that matter--is allowed to give back to herself, the more she will be able to give to her family.

    2. psycheskinner profile image80
      psycheskinnerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      If someone is talking about how to be a good spouse I am on board because that implies what they do as well as what they expect their spouse to do.  If they are acting like their wife is their employee, the good wife is the one divorcing them.

    3. ijdmtoy profile image51
      ijdmtoyposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Working, Independent, Can Cook and No Complaints

      1. Sed-me profile image84
        Sed-meposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Ay yi yi... no complaints? I know a woman at my work right now who has cancer. She comes in everyday with a smile on her face and works as hard or harder than the other employees. She doesn't complain. Yesterday, she was doubled over in pain with tears running down her eyes and had to go home. Are you telling me she couldn't even go home and cry on her husband's shoulder?

        Life is hard. If we can't go to our spouse with our hardships and pain, what is love even about? A good wife is a friend, a co-worker, a confidant, and as much a part of you as one of your own limbs. When two hearts become one, you share in each others joys as well as in their suffering. Marriage has nothing to do with trophies and everything to do with being a comfort and a support for one another in a very difficult world. I would rather have a best friend than a trophy any day.

    4. Cgenaea profile image60
      Cgenaeaposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Most people would have a slightly different answer. What is "good" to one, may be horrifying for another. It's all a matter of taste. My opinion is... good compliments, and is complimented by her husband. The trophy, everyone knows. smile She is hott!!! But, again, hot is an opinion too.

  2. 61
    PMARTINposted 2 years ago

    I dont know about loving the husband equal to God but that isnt in Christianity. A trophy wife is one to show off--looks good and is the envy of others. A lot of women are offended by that but then turn around and dress sexy (short shorts, exposed breast) when out in public with their husband--I dont get their thinking.  A good wife can be a matter of opinion but I say a good wife is one that supports you and WANTS  to care for you. She wants to be with you worries about you--basically its called LOVE.  Today a lot of women have stronger loyalties to her best friend, social clubs, her pastor or even Oprah. In the workplace Ive listen to wives call their husbands stupid, fat or pathetic--sorry but thats not a good wife. May as well address a good husband--Almost the same description except I believe the more loving she is the more protecting of her he becomes. He will work his butt off to provide a home and a good life. I think the problem comes in when the wife rises up to complain and compete with her good husband. Usually when women do this, the first thing they do is attack his masculinity or not recognize the good hhe has done. We are still a society that hold the "man" responsibility for whatever goes wrong in the family--loss of house, financial debt, bad kids, etc. We never include the wife in the blame--thats a lot of responsibility to bear. I dont think todays woman understand this--a good husband to them is one who works, cleans and allows her to play, fuss and spend without saying a word to her.

    1. Cat333 profile image79
      Cat333posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      You say, "We never include the wife in the blame--thats a lot of responsibility to bear." Looks like you've done the reverse and placed all the blame on wives, saying "I believe the more loving she is the more protecting of her he becomes. He will work his butt off to provide a home and a good life. I think the problem comes in when the wife rises up to complain and compete with her good husband." Very uncool to have a bias in either direction. There are people who are jerks no matter how good their husbands or wives are (some even abuse "loving" spouses), and jerks come in both genders (though we usually give female jerks a different name). Usually, though, treatment is reciprocal, so that each can increase the likelihood of their partner treating them better or worse.

      You also say a good husband to today's woman "is one who works, cleans and allows her to play, fuss and spend without saying a word to her." You really do express a negative opinion of women, and sure are stereotyping us! Btw, there are many women who work hard and in fact studies show that women who work outside the home (which is most women today) still tend to do the majority of house work and childcare, making them generally the harder working sex. And some of us are the frugal ones and our husbands are the ones with the "leaky pockets".

  3. Zelkiiro profile image82
    Zelkiiroposted 2 years ago

    A good wife and a good husband are interchangeable: Just be dependable, be loyal, and don't piss each other off. Ta-daaa! That's the secret of marriage, everybody!

    1. Sed-me profile image84
      Sed-meposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Which anniversary are you on? smile

      1. Zelkiiro profile image82
        Zelkiiroposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        None. I don't think I'll ever get married--I have a tendency to piss everyone off. Which is probably just as well, because everybody pisses me off, too.

        1. Sed-me profile image84
          Sed-meposted 2 years ago in reply to this

          sad

        2. gmwilliams profile image85
          gmwilliamsposted 2 years ago in reply to this

          Well, at least you're honest. How refreshing indeed!

    2. GA Anderson profile image85
      GA Andersonposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Buzzzzzzz... wrong answer! Obviously you have never been married... smile

      I can't imagine a husband and wife that haven't pissed each other off. At least in my world anyway. My wife pisses me off all the time. As I am sure, (because she has told me so), I have done so to her. The difference is in knowing that being pissed off comes with the territory.

      Now let me boastfully proclaim that come 10/24/2014 we will have been married 30 years, (together 36), and I am no stranger to the couch!

      Wait... it occurs to me to wonder... why is it always us guys that get the couch?  I know! I know! Because we know that our wives are the anchor of our life.

      ps,  my wife has all my passwords so I had to say that.

      GA

  4. esatchel profile image89
    esatchelposted 2 years ago

    A "trophy wife" is a woman you marry in order to impress. You are using her to impress upon others how powerful you are, so powerful and or alluring that she wants to be with you.

    Hence, a "trophy wife"  is usually known to be very beautiful, or if not beautiful, overtly sexually attractive (obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder). A "trophy wife"  might actually be desired by such a man because of her own power or wealth, rather than merely beauty or sexual attractiveness.

    The "trophy wife's" purpose is to bolster the husband's ego in some way - because he feels he needs her to prove his worth or because he is such an ego maniac that he thinks his wife must serve to highlight how desirable he is.

    I can't help but think of geeky, poorly socialize physicians, usually surgeons, or dotcom types who feel inadequate without some visual proof that they are indeed "all that", despite having had sand kicked in their faces all through high school.

    What would a "good wife" be to such a man?

    Hmmm, perhaps he married someone who's only good quality is her looks or her powerful name or high-end career and he wishes she were more loving, or interested in him as a person. Perhaps the "trophy wife" would be a "good wife" in his estimation if she didn't fritter away his money, or were nice to his mother.

    Either way, it is difficult to have pity for such a man. He was probably a "trophy husband", desirable for marriage because he can provide plenty of money for a nice house and expensive clothing, but so busy working that he won't get under foot so much that she has to actually put up with him very often.

    As for me, I have a "good husband", which I define as someone who is loving, someone I enjoy spending as much time with as possible, who is forgiving of my foibles and messy humanity but wants to uplift me and support me in my journey through life. He is a friend, as well as partner and love of my life. He is so much a part of me, that I feel I can always be myself with him. There is nothing to hide. 

    I believe he feels the same for me, but I have no right top speak for him and you aren't likely to find him on Hubpages. He avoids an online presence if at all possible! ;^P

  5. Aime F profile image83
    Aime Fposted 2 years ago

    Reading through some of these responses was absolutely depressing.

    I especially love the last one where it was implied that working and being independent were important... but oh, she also still needs to cook for me and she better not complain about it.

    I guess my answer to this question is this: a good husband is a man who doesn't expect me to never think about myself or express myself. A good husband is someone who would want me to be concerned with my own happiness. None of that means that I'm selfish, or that I put my needs ahead of my family's. It just means that I know I deserve to be happy and to be treated as an equal member of the partnership. Any husband who doesn't want their wife to feel that way is a pretty crap husband, if you ask me. smile

  6. AshtonFirefly profile image82
    AshtonFireflyposted 2 years ago

    This topic is very interesting to me, as I am soon to be married.

      I honestly don't think there's an right or wrong answer to what makes one a good wife, and that there are probably as many answers as there are people; for the question is based solely on expectations, and expectations vary by person, culture, etc.
      My own expectations of myself and my fiance's expectations are ultimately what shapes the definition of a "good wife," for me. However, to say that another person's answer is right and another's is wrong seems a little hasty.
      To some men, a good wife is one who cleans, takes care of the kids, cooks, and is generally a housewife or maid. To those of us who are independent and career-oriented, this would seem like a "wrong" or "harsh" demand; however, there are women who expect and want nothing more than to be this for their husbands, so to them it would be an acceptable definition of a "good wife."
      Isn't this what people discuss when getting married? Seeing if what both people see as "acceptable" will in fact work?
      The person who made this statement (that they needed a "good wife" and not a "trophy" one) was obviously looking for something more than someone to show off. To others, the characteristic of being a trophy wife is all that is necessary, ironically thereby making them a "good" wife.
      My expectations of what makes a "good" husband, I have been told, are virtually unattainable and I'm not quite sure how in the world I'm engaged.

    1. Kathryn L Hill profile image83
      Kathryn L Hillposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Well, I heard I overheard somebody saying, " I've got a a good husband, I need a trophy husband."

      Just kidding.

      1. AshtonFirefly profile image82
        AshtonFireflyposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        LOL. I would actually believe that though.

        1. Kathryn L Hill profile image83
          Kathryn L Hillposted 2 years ago in reply to this

          ...and who ever said it is the antithesis of a "good wife", I would say‚Ķ  big_smile

    2. Cat333 profile image79
      Cat333posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Congratulations on your engagement, and best wishes to you both!

      1. AshtonFirefly profile image82
        AshtonFireflyposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Thank you smile

 
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