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"Mom, I Love You. I Also Wish You Were Dead"

  1. castoriehandley93 profile image60
    castoriehandley93posted 2 years ago

    You came here because of the title huh? Same thing what happened to me. I was googling something random when I came across acsia.com where they posted this link http://nymag.com/news/features/parent-h … re-2012-5/ from New York Magazine titled "Mom, I Love You. I Also Wish You Were Dead." Believe me, the article is not very misleading. It tells about the agony and misery of a son about his mom, severely sick. Published two years ago, I wonder what was I doing back then to not notice this article...

    1. gmwilliams profile image85
      gmwilliamsposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      So many children are caretakers to severely elderly parents.   Many such parents did not and/or could not believe that they will be infirmed when they become old.  Some even maintained that they would be healthy.   Many people did not think about and/or save for long-term care because they believed that it would be unnecessary.  There are those who believed that they would die before they would become too infirm.

      However, with long lifespans, there are more people over 80 than ever before.   With increased and advanced age, there will be a higher incidence of age-related issues suh as infirmity and alzheimers and its relation, dementia.  Studies have shown that a higher percentage of people over the age of 80 has dementia or alzheimers.  This is why it is important to have some type of long-term care insurance in order not to bankrupt other family members if one required long-term care either at home or in a nursing facility.

      1. Sherry Hewins profile image96
        Sherry Hewinsposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        My mom was always poor, there was not much to save. Now she has only Social Security and she is declining, she does not have many choices.

  2. Ky Cardinal profile image81
    Ky Cardinalposted 2 years ago

    I know that Long Term Insurance is great, but it is very expensive and goes up with age.  If a parent has little means to pay for it, it could take all of a parents' extra money to pay for the yearly premium.  Also, it is usually only good for two years. What if a loved one is sick longer than two years?

    If someone goes into a nursing home situation for a limited time for rehab from a broken hip, for example, the payments are suspended for that time, but when they return home the payments begin again.

    Also, depending on the insurance they take out, the entire monthly bill of a care facility may not be covered.

    Medicaid will cover costs when money runs out, if you can find a medicaid bed available.  Not all facilities have beds for medicaid patients.

    Taking care of family members may be a problem for you or someone in your family.  I guess this at least opens the conversation.

    1. iWilliams311 profile image61
      iWilliams311posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      I think having some form of financial protection for long-term care is better than having none at all. Premiums for long-term care insurance may be expensive, but the trick is to find a policy that you can afford. You can do this by requesting quotes online. There are also hybrid plans now that combine life insurance and long-term care riders and partnership plans that help you protect your assets against Medicaid if you ever use up your LTC policy benefits.
      Like you mentioned, not all facilities have beds for Medicaid patients, so we shouldn't just rely on the limited government help. I hope people start making plans now while they are still healthy and young.