When is a good time to call when you are going to be late?.

1. 78

   Pestposted 15 years ago

   I have a friend whose wife plays cards at the local bars.  My friend says his wife never call when she is going to be late.  Yesterday, she was over 2.5 hours late and never called me...errr him.  He gets very pissed off and she says he is over re-acting.  She has a slew of excuses as to why she doesn't call...phone is dead, lost track of time, phone was on vibrate, phone was off, forgot phone...etc....When is a good time to call home and tell the significant other you will be late?....MINUS the excuses, cuz it aint like you have the only f**kin cell phone at the bar.  I need to know so I can tell my "friend" that he is okay with how he feels in relation to this subject.

   replyreport
2. 71

   thranaxposted 15 years ago

   I would think you would call 2-5 mins before the time you were suppose to be home. Or at least within 10 mins after so they don't worry.
   
   ~thranax~

   replyreport
   1. 78

      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      that is kind of what I figure.  As soon as I know i am going to be late...the next available moment I would call.

      replyreport
3. 59

   Cris Aposted 15 years ago

   Always say that you are going to be late. So when you actually come home early everybody's happy. But if you're really late, no raising of the roof will transpire as that's the plan

   replyreport
   1. 78

      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Wasnt me...it IS A FRIENDS wife!!!!!  Nothing to do with me! 

      replyreport
      1. 59

         Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Then pass the message to his wife. It will do your relationship with her good

         replyreport
         1. 78

            Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

              Geez i was hoping for more than two opinions to pass on!!!  LOL

            replyreport
            1. 59

               Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Pest, honestly, I think it's the wife who needs an advice or two not your friend. Waiting is also a pet peeve of mine so I commiserate with your friend.  It's the one who makes the wait longer who is at "fault" 

               replyreport
4. 78

   Mighty Momposted 15 years ago

   Maybe you should suggest to your "friend" that he fight fire with fire. Or here's another metaphor: what's good for the goose is good for the gander, and vice versa. Show her how it feels to be the one waiting at home with no courtesy call. Do it a couple of times, just to allow the lesson to sink in. See if that breaks her of this selfish habit.
   Signed: A reformed non-caller

   replyreport
5. 72

   AEvansposted 15 years ago

   The person should call simply out of respect, to let them know they are o.k.. If they have had their phone on a charger all day or plugged into a car charger, there isn't anyway the phone could be dead. Making up excuses such as forgot phone, phone was on vibrate, why is the phone on vibrate? If you love someone then you will not make up any excuses, to me they are having to much fun without the other person and do not want to be bothered by the spouse. Red flags and that is only coming from a woman's point of view and only my perspective.
   
   The way you feel is a o.k. as what is good for her , is good for him. Give them a taste of their medicine.

   replyreport
   1. 78

      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        My Veteran buddy is coming back from Arizona soon.  I think that I will be "out" a bit more too.
      
      A taste of their medicine it is then! 
      
      I did not mention that I stay home with her kids...

      replyreport
      1. 72

         AEvansposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         No, No you don't stay home while she plays, you have to have fun too!!!
         Step back take a look and see what is wrong with this picture.

         replyreport
         1. 78

            Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            I am using this as a venting thing...I know!  i ask why i cant go and spend time with her...she says we spend time together...day before yesterday we spent a full day packing a warehouse of her stuff...then an hour of dinner..."quality time"  then the next day ( once or twice a week ) she plays cards for 6-10 hrs.

            replyreport
            1. 72

               AEvansposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Something is wrong with that picture, you are giving her to much rope, and if she was concerned about your feelings, she would understand. Suggest something romantic, maybe something that you both haven't done in a while without the rugrats of course. To much time playing cards as time needs to be spent with you and the kids. 6-10 hours is a long time, tell her you would like to join her and see what she has to say. The answer should be a yes.

               replyreport
               1. 78

                  Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  Done that.  i dont go to the bars anymore...or haven't.  she says that i would get bored.  Also she has her friends that i dont know...I know the flags are there, but she claims i am insane...something that i question quite often.

                  replyreport
                  1. 72

                     AEvansposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     You are not insane as a woman the rope is way to long, the signs are there and the truth may hurt but either reel her back in before it is to late and forgive her, or cut her loose and stop allowing the pain. You deserve better then that, as you will be a success with your stories and I am certain she will want to be around. chi-chinggggggggggg. Stop allowing her to make you feel insecure as you do not need to feel that way.

                     replyreport
6. 0

   Leta Sposted 15 years ago

   Hmmm....  I'm giving advice to Pest...  ? 
   
   I wouldn't expect the worst, really.  Maybe she just needs some space to herself.  I think it would be easy to lose track of time playing poker or something like that (?) and some people are just bad with cell phones (take it from someone who is & who once drowned her cell in diet coke, lol).
   
   I'd ask her what's going on that she feels the need to be away twice a week & that it is unfair to you.  Take her out to dinner or something the other night a week...  Do something different and fun.

   replyreport
7. 60

   skydiverposted 15 years ago

   She should call as soon as possible. She knows what time she is supposed to leave so she could call well in advance if she knows she isn't going to be finished up with whatever it is she is doing!
   
   Why don't you just turn up at the bar impromptu with a mate, and if she says 'Why are you checking up on me?', you can just say you came for a drink and didn't expect to see her there as she should be home already!

   replyreport