in small families-cool,hip oldest sibling, the more glamorous, sophisticated sibling
in large & very large families-overburdened, parentified, unappreciated, overused, cast aside/discarded unless ask to be at beck/call of parents and younger siblings, putting own's needs LAST, having no SELF time i.e. a SLAVE.....
I'm the oldest of eight: Responsible, stoic, gentle, role model, teacher, pioneer, peacemaker, intermediary, scapegoat, child adult, lonely, productive for others, but not myself. You might have guessed that I'm also female. There's a lot of nurturing in there. Oh, did I say nurturing?
You were the parentified child who put others FIRST while you put yourself LAST. The average oldest child in large & very large families must be on 24/7/365 for parents. LONELY? Never heard of this before. Well, yes lonely because NOBODY was ever there for you, poor little one. I am going to HUG you. My mother was the oldest of ten. What a LIFE many poor oldest of large families "lead". Being unappreciated & overused. It continues even to adulthood. NO RESPITE AT ALL!
Told you it is NEVERending/UNending. Adult oldest children SHOULDER EVERYTHING. They DO EVERYTHING. When will IT STOP! It is like adult oldest children have NOBODY; younger siblings usually DON'T help, assume responsibilities, and are mostly OUT FOR THEMSELVES! It is ALL GIVING for the oldest child and seldom if any receiving. The mantra for oldest children should be, " I treat others FAR BETTER than they have treated me." They are THERE for everyone in the family but NO ONE is there for them. Sad really. I think I am going to write a hub on this very topic in the future.
Oddly, my sister is known as the control freak, the competitive one, the blamer. There's only the two of us amongst six boys (she's four years younger and more attractive). But she also panics easily, and needs my attention and reassurance when she's going through changes. I should also add for myself . . . and I'm not happy about this . . . resentment.
The oldest child a/k/a oldest sibling in a family. The theme for oldest children should be oh $%^#% again, what do you ALL #$%^& want now, leave me the $%^&# ALONE, $%^&*@! I would not wish being the oldest child on Satan!
TIME to HUG all oldest children, they need our hugs, prayers, and DEEPEST SYMPATHY. I feel SORRY for OLDEST children, really!
doormat martyr put UPON BIG TIME abused MORE BIG TIME dethroned.....and dethroned...............and DETHRONED...............(depending upon family size) HELL is heaven in comparison to lives oldest children live PRISON CAMP is better than the environment of some oldest children slaves and forced laborers have MORE FREEDOM than many oldest children, especially oldest children in large and very large families.
This is SO TRUE. Oldest children are oftentimes the unspoken, REAL parents in the household. There are parents, especially those of large families, who COMPEL their oldest child to parent the younger siblings.
I believe that the oldest child in a family have the toughest and roughest path to go. He/she was automatically dethroned upon the birth/births of a successive sibling/siblings. He/she is often held to...
Frank J. Sulloway in his breakout bestseller, BORN TO REBEL, indicated that one adopts attitudes and respond to the environment, familial or outside, based upon one's respective birth order. Dr. Sulloway...