Absent of abuse or negative environment, why would you purposely keep a man from seeing his child? Are you that upset that things didn't work out romantically between you two that you punish the child? What is the benefit of berating another parent in the presence of your child? Do you know what damage you are also causing by depriving them of experiencing the other other parent? Why is it difficult for families to come together to do what's best for a child to be psychologically healthy?
Probably because we live in a society where personal gratification is constantly offered up as a goal we should aspire to. It can be hard to rise above personal emotional problems so most don't bother.
I'm with you though. The kids shouldn't have to deal with the fall out. I am constantly horrified at how women use children as weapons. I suppose men do also, but they are much less likely to be the custodial parent.
I'm not sure, like if the father is a drug addict, or a murderer or a psychotic, do you think you should protect your child from the father? I read somewhere that sometimes, fathers don't get along with their children, but they do get along with other young men, and a "father-son" relationship develops that is beneficial to both parties. If the father is absent but is a good man, definitely the child should be able to see him as often as possible. But if he is evil, there are ways for boys to develop 'father - son' relationships with other, good people.
I personally wouldn't know, but it happens. I read a book about a woman who didn't know her man was a serial killer until he was arrested. Women often have kids with drug addicts, and sometimes may not know she married a psychotic. the reverse happens as well, it's the man who marries a murderer, drug addict or psychotic.
I don't believe in karma, but I believe in bad choices, or being manipulated into a bad circumstance. I also believe in hope, that though the present is a difficult time, we can have a better future. Life can be merciful and we can move on. I think our mistakes should not define us.
I was responding to the image realtalk247 provided. Can paper be mended once ripped? Once ripped apart, can families be mended? Broken lives and broken hearts. Is that why you two got together?
Think about it. Its never just about "us." Sex will, (eventually,) bring forth a soul from the arms of the angels. Why do it if you are not going to maintain the joy these new souls bring. The love they bring. I write to remind… its not about you.