jump to last post 1-50 of 64 discussions (176 posts)

What is the 1st sign of divorce

  1. Lgali profile image47
    Lgaliposted 8 years ago

    What is the 1st sign of divorce

    1. apeksha profile image61
      apekshaposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      dont have faith ..
      respect
      love

      on our spouse ...

      but i think it is destiny..

      1. profile image61
        Kiddg73posted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Divorce happens long before the papers are signed.
        The first real sign that your destin for divorce is the communication that you once had is gone. The long talks you use to have turns into one way conversations. Secondly, the time you get to spend together is time you would rather be somewhere else.
        Little things that you looked past turn into baggering arguments.
        Making love went from passion to prison. The long kiss goodbye turns into the peck and run. The way you would feel getting a phone call or when you knew you were going to see your spouse goes from that exciting,giddy,happy feeling to the dreadful thought of oh it's you again. The way to save it is to look to see if it's there not ignore it and hope it gets better. If you notice things are changing talk about it, change things up,strike the match that relights the flame, be who you are not what you have become. Love takes effort.

        1. anime_nanet profile image60
          anime_nanetposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          /True

    2. profile image60
      badcompany99posted 8 years ago in reply to this

      A removal Van !

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        wow how about car?

        1. profile image60
          badcompany99posted 8 years ago in reply to this

          The table and chairs plus televison, lamps, dvd player etc wouldnt fit in the boot : )

    3. aka-dj profile image79
      aka-djposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      It starts with selfishness, every time. How it develops from their depends on you (both). The surest way to stay out of divorce/seperation, is to WANT to make it work (often at any cost--within reason).
      Once you reach the point where on (of you) gives up on trying, it's all but over. sad
      I'm coming up to my (our) 30th, and this attitude has worked for us.
      There's a LOT more work to do, but that has to be the starting point, or the rest is wasted energy, time and money. cool

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        thnaks for the info congrat on 30th
        what is the one best point you for this long long marriage.

        1. aka-dj profile image79
          aka-djposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Thanks.
          She is.
          And of course, HE is. (and I am not referring to myself) smile

    4. Aya_Hajime profile image60
      Aya_Hajimeposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Not resolving arguments. All the pent up negative feelings will eventually lead to extreme badness.

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        negative feelings are the start

    5. profile image60
      Motherhood Trialsposted 8 years ago in reply to this

                   Lgali, I would say to you that many are divorced on paper ,yet one partner (ex) is still not divorced in their heart. Likewise, many are married yet one partner has already moved on and is no longer emotionaly committed to his or her marriage. You can only commit YOURSELF as to how long it will be befor you allow your heart to accept the emotional changes that your spouse may be having toward you and your committments you once made together. Once you are able to define WHERE YOU STAND to your partner, I think the rest will take the proper course. Either way it goes, please try to always remember this.." Being loved (truely loved) has absolutly nothing to do with how YOU FEEL about a special person, but instead, How that special person makes YOU FEEL about yourself and alot of those feelings will come from how you are respected and treated and even admired as a person." If you are not being truely loved or respected, I would sugguest surounding yourself with those will treat you as such. Sometimes it is wise (not selfish) to concider how you are treated ABOVE how you would like to treat another...Just my opinion from many years of life, I hope it has helped you.

    6. mohamedhmm profile image60
      mohamedhmmposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      ===
      A man or A woman; who trying to stay more longer outside the home; then, go home and just to sleep...

      1. VENUGOPAL SIVAGNA profile image61
        VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        I am doing exactly the same... stay longer outside, return home and just sleep (after dinner, of course).  But our husband-wife relationship is as firm as steel... or even gold. Till the children grow up, we discussed everything very intimately and now, she not even cares me and discusses everything with children, relieving me most of my burden. That is the typical family life in our society.  Even after having grown up children, if we discuss things with our spouse, it will certainly create problems. In every family, children are the binding or bridging force between the couple. There is no place for sex for those having grown up children. There is no place for divorce in a model & disciplined family.

        1. profile image60
          Motherhood Trialsposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          I am trying to understand what your advice here truely is ? I am not sure that I do however. Are you saying that your role is to be absent as much as possible driving your wife to only have her children to communicate with releaving your role as a partner to her obsolete until it is her duty to feed you? And then you can escape your other responsabilities by simply going to sleep? Please tell me if I understand you correctly or not. And could you please explain how you can be partners yet not Discuss things that deserve your attention as a unit without it solving problems instead of being the source of how they were created? One last question that I would like for you to answer so I can understand better from your prespective is did I understand you to refer to her once carring for you and talking with you as "most of your burdens" ? Just for the record..I will save any comments and bite my tounge until I know for sure that I have understood you properly or not. A quick response would be greatful as bitting my tounge so hard is begining to become quite painful ! smile

        2. Marisa Wright profile image94
          Marisa Wrightposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Your description of your marriage makes me very sad, Venugopal.

        3. WeddingConsultant profile image80
          WeddingConsultantposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          You do know that gold is a soft metal don't you?

          1. Lgali profile image47
            Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            very nice

    7. guidebaba profile image59
      guidebabaposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Not having SEX for a Long Time is SURE Sign of Divorce. (GUESS)

    8. Marisa Wright profile image94
      Marisa Wrightposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I think we've worked out that you're asking, what is the sign that your marriage is heading for divorce?

      Almost everyone says that the first sign was that something in their partner's behaviour changed. It may only have been a small change, and they probably didn't realise what it meant at the time. 

      For one poster, it was when they stopped sharing tea.  For me, it was when my husband started complaining about my housework (or rather lack of - I've always been a hopeless housewife, he knew that and had never complained for seventeen years!).  Those are two good examples of a typical warning sign.

    9. thinking out loud profile image61
      thinking out loudposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Papers from a lawyer smile

    10. profile image0
      pgrundyposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      You go the supermarket and discover your joint account is cleaned out.

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        LOL nice but that will be 2nd sign not ist

    11. profile image60
      madmacposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      the day after you say "I do"

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        very funny

    12. Ms Chris profile image61
      Ms Chrisposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      When respect and the not wanting to be around the spouse. At this stage things start to blow up cheating ,money problems, and domestic disputes over small things. The breakdown of commucation and sex.

    13. IntimatEvolution profile image80
      IntimatEvolutionposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Silence

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        I think somethibg before silence

    14. BradyBones profile image88
      BradyBonesposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Marriage.

      Haha! Just kidding.

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        LOL

    15. puppascott profile image80
      puppascottposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I know this one. A marriage license, silly!

      1. onthewriteside profile image60
        onthewritesideposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        BINGO!

        1. puppascott profile image80
          puppascottposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          I was married B4, but now I am a B10 man.

        2. Lgali profile image47
          Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          lol bingoooo

    16. Davinagirl3 profile image61
      Davinagirl3posted 8 years ago in reply to this

      When a person realizes that they are not happy with their spouse. For what ever reason, there is a distinct revelation that "it is over".

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        I think that may be the second sign

        1. Davinagirl3 profile image61
          Davinagirl3posted 8 years ago in reply to this

          ...or maybe the last sign!

    17. profile image0
      Poppa Bluesposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Well, I'm not sure what the first sign is. I kinda knew when I got married that it wasn't going to last, we were just too different, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and even our interests were different. Still we lasted 10 years. I stayed so my kids would have a father and not be raised by a mother with a dysfunctional family.

      No surprise we grew apart over the years, both of us regretting our lost youth and yearning for true love. The final straw came when my ex decided not to show up at our appointment with the marriage counselor. I started the divorce ball rolling the next day!

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        you are not only one lot of us stayed for kids

        1. profile image0
          Poppa Bluesposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          That maybe. Sometimes though, it's better to leave for the kids sake. In my situation, that wasn't the case, but everyone is different.

          1. Lgali profile image47
            Lgaliposted 7 years ago in reply to this
    18. rigor04 profile image59
      rigor04posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Maybe when you spend more time on Facebook than with your husband and kids

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        that is good one how about more time on hubpages

    19. Daniel Carter profile image88
      Daniel Carterposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Marriage.

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        vey funny

  2. frogdropping profile image84
    frogdroppingposted 8 years ago

    Lgali - can you narrow it down a bit? Else I'd just answer 'the decree nisi' tongue

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      When the 1st long fight or argument happens

    2. darkside profile image80
      darksideposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      LOL!

      I was going to say something similar!

      The first sign you're heading for a divorce would be... separation.

      The first sign you're heading for a separation would be lack of communication.

  3. frogdropping profile image84
    frogdroppingposted 8 years ago

    Ok - still hard to define though. But I'll try.

    It's not so much a sign as a feeling. You don't suddenly think 'RIGHT! D.I.V.O.R.C.E'. It kinda creeps up and, if the measures needed to put things right aren't taken, are ignored, then you're beginning to swim without a paddle.

    When that happens, the only thing I can say is a kind of whirlpool effect kicks in. Somehow - despite swimming against the current - you're sucked into a horrible, dark and miserable hole.

    Now, I'm speaking from MY experience, but I think others' will say its a similar process.

    The actual 'day of reckoning', the day one of you ups and leaves, will either be long in coming and kinda expected, or done in haste, panic, when you, your partner or both are at your most emotive. I took the emotive/panicky route. Though it genuinely wasn't intended. I didn't get up one day and drop the bomb. The day started like any other. By the end of it I was out and gone.

    I remember going back, a month or so later, to an empty house, to collect my belongs. I was there by 10:30am, out by 16:00pm. I sobbed, every single minute of it. And no, it wasn't cathartic. It was bloody horrible.

    Anyway, I hope I've gone somewhere towards answering your question

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      thnaks for sharing this story.
      day one of you ups and leaves, will either be long in coming and kinda expected

  4. lawretta profile image78
    lawrettaposted 8 years ago

    Constant nagging over nothing.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      this is good start

  5. Tom Cornett profile image56
    Tom Cornettposted 8 years ago

    When your dog likes the UPS guy more than you.....and her cat gives you that goodbye look.   smile

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      LOL nice take

  6. cindyvine profile image88
    cindyvineposted 8 years ago

    first sign of the divorce would be a letter giving you the court date

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I think things go wrong long before that

      1. cindyvine profile image88
        cindyvineposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Then you should have asked what is the first sign that there's trouble in the marriage.  The first actual sign of divorce is the court date letter or lawyer's letter of the intention.

        1. R. Blue profile image60
          R. Blueposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          It's when you hear the words "I do".....but maybe thats just me.

      2. alekhouse profile image82
        alekhouseposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        I think the first sign that you're heading for divorce is when each starts going his own way, and indifference sets in. If you care enough to argue, there's still some feeling there. But indifference is a killer.

        1. Lgali profile image47
          Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          goos take

  7. WeddingConsultant profile image80
    WeddingConsultantposted 8 years ago

    I'd say the first (significant) sign of divorce is a shutdown of communication. Once this decision is made by either spouse, it's only a matter of time for divorce to enter the picture unless changes are made fast.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      so shutdown of communication is very imp.

  8. Juliet Christie profile image58
    Juliet Christieposted 8 years ago

    When the couple stop communicating and stop doing things for each other.

  9. profile image69
    logic,commonsenseposted 8 years ago

    Loss of respect

  10. Lisa HW profile image83
    Lisa HWposted 8 years ago

    Someone in my life said she and her husband used to spend their weekend mornings, drinking (lingering over) tea and talking about all their plans and life in general.  She said she knew there were serious problems in their marriage when "the tea drinking stopped".  It is, of course, different for everyone.  In this case, it wasn't, of course, the "tea drinking".  It was their not having any shared plans/dreams any longer.

    I think in cases where on partner hasn't done some horrible thing, and when it's a matter of two people growing apart; it has to do with an increasing number of "empty moments" or "troubled moments" that eventually become the "only moments".  From what I've seen, I think people hang in for a long time, waiting for those "empty moments" to slow down - and then one day someone wakes up and asks if he/she wants to live his one life so "empty" (and whether that's a healthy situation for the children).

  11. lindagoffigan profile image60
    lindagoffiganposted 8 years ago

    Thanks for an idea of a Hub, however most people want to hear about saving relationships.

      I think that the first sign of divorce is when you realize that you wake up one day and realize that you love the person lying beside you less and less until there is no love at all. The realization is intense and you know that you have been living a lie except for the love of your children.  So the first thing you do is move out of the bedroom for dignity of self and you would much rather  sleep alone than sleep with the enemy.  You think of doing what the other commenter did when she just walked off and then returned to get her things.

    All that is left is wishing somehow you had saw the warning signs years ago and acted upon it instead of enduring more anguish and pain. You wonder how could you not have seen that you were holding the relationship together for years and the person is no longer who you want to be with.

    With the realization that you are loving the person less and less comes a new realization of self that you may be better off without the person. I hope that the commenter of the thirty year marriage many more but I must say that by that time, the marriage becomes almost like a holding place.  You want to leave but you have to consider more than just your emotions because by that time, it is not all about you.  By that time, the relationship involves children, shelter, financial security and a status in society. Divorce would rob the children of a father whose does provide family stability. Being incogizant after years of "taking it," you think that a father figure is great for the boys even if you know now that he is not for you. 

    It is true, but when applying for loans writing a MRS. in front of your name gives the loan officer a sense that they are dealing with a secure situation. Also in today's society, it is still easier for couples to purchase a home instead of singles. So with maturity comes an examination of the socio-economical indicators.

    Therefore, you must consider the time element and sacrifices that may arise if you go for the freedowm of divorce. Your greatest fear in today's economy no matter how educated, is pushing a cart of belongings for having walked away, emotionally motivated, loveless seeking love but somehow lost yourself and found a real world of emptiness.  I think that most women have this embedded fear, so they stay a little for themselves but more for the children.

    Sometimes the strongest does survive and these people who wish they could forsake all reasoning and go for it;  avoid the "D" word because of uncontrollable circumstances.

  12. lindagoffigan profile image60
    lindagoffiganposted 8 years ago

    The three steps to divorce.  Lack of Communication
                                 Separate Sleeping Quarters
                                 Separation from love
    YEA! My period on a bad situation.

  13. flread45 profile image81
    flread45posted 8 years ago

    when you get a court summons

  14. Moonchild60 profile image84
    Moonchild60posted 8 years ago

    Sometimes it is realizing you have stopped communicating.  Sometimes it is a moment when you realize you are both going in seperate directions.  Sometimes it is coming up with more things about the other person that you can't stand then things that you love or admire.  No one truly knows how this happens, it just does.  Sometimes you realize that no matter what you have tried, this person is not the one that is ever going to truly make you happy.  Sometimes it is the moment you find out about the infidelity.  Sometimes it is exhaustion from having carried the relationship and finally giving up.  There are so many different signs that make people realize this marriage may be heading toward its final resting place.  In some cases, the marriage can be saved and in others, it is clear there is just no going back.

    1. Marisa Wright profile image94
      Marisa Wrightposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      This post is written from the perspective of the person who makes the decision - the person who walks out.  Everything you say is valid in that case.

      From the other viewpoint - the other partner who, more often than not, has no clue there's a problem - the first sign is a change in attitude or behaviour.  As scmedico said, it may be a strange indifference, or increased criticism or a lack of patience.  It's a warning sign that we all choose not to see, because we don't want to believe our marriage could be in trouble.

      1. Sunny Robinson profile image84
        Sunny Robinsonposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Moonchild's post can also be viewed from the perspective of someone who knew there was a problem but did everything they could to work it out.  My boyfriend was the man who carried the relationship until he was exhausted and gave up, but he did not walk out.  When there was nothing left for him to give, his wife walked out.

  15. Research Analyst profile image76
    Research Analystposted 8 years ago

    This will vary from person to person, everyone is different and it can not be such a cut and dry answer.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      thanks for this comment

  16. waynet profile image47
    waynetposted 8 years ago

    Divorce papers?

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      this is last step

  17. lisafwg01 profile image60
    lisafwg01posted 8 years ago

    Well, for me, it was finding him enjoying the "assets" of a friend...but, looking back, there were other signs I just didn't want to see them.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      good one

  18. scmedico profile image60
    scmedicoposted 8 years ago

    Well, I have been there twice and for me the first sign, from the mans side of things, is simple... The tone of all things changes.  An general feeling of indifference becomes the dominant sensation in the houshold.  There will be points of vascillation between complete indiffernce and wanting to work it out at all costs but the former will become more and the latter will be only a symptom of withdraw from the relationship.  Once one party has decided consciously or subconsciously that they are done there is little that can be done to recover from this state.  Think of a conversation and how you identify it in your mind... it is filtered through different "lenses" like love, anger, indifference etc.  once you make it to indifference it is hard to assign any meaningful emotion to the conversation at that point and I have never seen it move backwards into love again... I hope that makes some sence.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      this means that general feeling of indifference is the start

  19. Pearldiver profile image86
    Pearldiverposted 8 years ago

    I Believe it is - Absence.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      how long Absence?

  20. Pearldiver profile image86
    Pearldiverposted 8 years ago

    From the point that you feel the shifts within your intuition. That is also probably the Real Time to resolve potential issues but mostly we all approach  the opportunity from the other end of the spectrum.  I think from not broaching the issues then.. we unwittingly end up challenging the other party to judge, compare or recommit.. Always the wrong approach, which we find out after the heart takes over from where intuition left off, if you know what I mean.

    Hope so... I'm a Stubbly Mere Male, I mean.. Check out my pic !!

  21. profile image0
    wordscribe41posted 8 years ago

    I think a huge red flag is when communication ceases, or decreases substantially.  We hold things in.  We begin to carry grudges.  We don't express our needs and desires and expect our spouses to become mind readers.  That's when expectations become premeditated resentments.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      good one
      communication ceases

  22. profile image0
    \Brenda Scullyposted 8 years ago

    single beds, or has that been said already..... only guessing now........

  23. Anamika S profile image69
    Anamika Sposted 8 years ago

    High Expectations from Partner - Many enter into marriage with high expectations. One day he/she would not be able to keep up with your expectations and are going ti be criticized for that leading to differences.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      another good point
      High Expectations from Partner -

  24. Shil1978 profile image87
    Shil1978posted 8 years ago

    Increased frequency of lies and dishonesty.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      good one

  25. fortunerep profile image57
    fortunerepposted 8 years ago

    My first sign was when my husband went hunting, killed a deer and called his woman friend at work to tell her, claiming she had predicted earlier that day he would kill a deer.  I can't believe I was that stupid.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      very different

  26. Lgali profile image47
    Lgaliposted 8 years ago

    I think major problem is when
    communication ceases

  27. HealthCare Basics profile image80
    HealthCare Basicsposted 8 years ago

    I agree with the failure of communication between two people. Holding back and not letting your spouse know how you feel. Communication stops and you begin to playing house like two roommates. Eventually, one will leave.

  28. fierycj profile image83
    fierycjposted 8 years ago

    Never been to this forum. Just checking in. Now checking out.

  29. Stacie L profile image88
    Stacie Lposted 8 years ago

    for some people,the first signs of a divorce is a server knocking at the front door.
    but seriously,it isn't instantaneous,there are signs for quite a while and if two people can't discuss their problems ,then it shouldn't be a surprise.
    sad

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      That means break in communication

  30. Lgali profile image47
    Lgaliposted 8 years ago

    so communication is big problem

    1. andromida profile image74
      andromidaposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      decreasing rate of communications,lack of physical contacts,and lack of appreciation.

      1. Lgali profile image47
        Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        good points

  31. PaulaShaftoe profile image61
    PaulaShaftoeposted 8 years ago

    As soon as you REALLY want to change the other person's behavior. It aggravates you and you never used to care that much about it.

  32. anime_nanet profile image60
    anime_nanetposted 8 years ago

    When she says she loves another man sad

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      That happen little late

    2. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      that comes very late

  33. marisuewrites profile image61
    marisuewritesposted 8 years ago

    This differs for everyone, depending on their family and lifestyle, but one of the signs is more and more time away from each other; a feeling of distance; lack of intimacy, although this alone is not a sign; arguing frequently; not communicating.  However, I've known dozens and dozens of married people say "I had no clue" when they were approached by their mate wanting a divorce.

    Talking is the key to success.  Begin there.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      very nice comments

  34. Pete Maida profile image59
    Pete Maidaposted 8 years ago

    When the joy and the comfort are gone.  When a partner stays longer at work for no reason.  When going home isn't something a person looks forward to.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      all good reasons

  35. lxxy profile image60
    lxxyposted 8 years ago

    Generally speaking, when things begin to fly. If the kitchen sink comes at your head, duck--cover---and run before your belongings are set aflame. ;D

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      wow very different take

    2. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      that si good take
      kitchen sink comes at your head LOL

  36. womanNshadows profile image81
    womanNshadowsposted 8 years ago

    the first sign of divorce?  for a percentage of people, the first sign is the realization that escape is possible.  and by that i mean escape from the abuse. freedom.

    then you work with the fear for what he/she will do to the children, worry over the threats being made, realization that he (i'm not gender biased, just in general it's usually men who make the most though i've seen it the other way) has already moved and safely hidden all the money, and the reality that he (or she) has had this set in motion for years, a just in case "you get the idea to leave me" scenario.

    but you divorce anyway because the alternative is very rapidly becoming unacceptable.  so you cross your fingers and hide your fears from the children.  you hope that somehow when you fall, and you will fall under this scenario because they stick it to you - debt and homelessness - and you hit the ground hard, you don't lose faith in yourself.  you hang onto the concept that you didn't deserve to be that afraid for all those years, or to be hurt all those times.

    divorce can equal freedom and abject poverty, but ahh, the freedom to not have to keep one ear to the ground.  it's like nothing else. _

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      very nice take =-escape from the abuse. freedom.

  37. megs78 profile image60
    megs78posted 8 years ago

    I would have to say disinterest.  As soon as you see your spouse not caring anymore, no matter what, thats when I would be scared.  That probably means that the mind is made up and he/she couldn't care less what you do or say!  Thats just my opinion though.

    Megs

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      disinterest is good one

  38. AsherKade profile image78
    AsherKadeposted 8 years ago

    no sex, or it takes weeks or months for sex. They would rather be on the computer than on you.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      very interesting take

    2. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      good take

    3. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      very diiferent take

  39. onthewriteside profile image60
    onthewritesideposted 8 years ago

    My first marriage lasted 2 years, (she got pregnant with my daughter and then split).  My second marriage lasted 8 months, (caught her cheating on me and I split).  My current relationship has been going strong for 13 years...we've lived together for 12 of those.  I don't know...with divorce rates over 60% now, maybe the secret is just not getting married?

  40. kmackey32 profile image81
    kmackey32posted 8 years ago

    When your husband plays playstation ALL THE TIME. LOL

  41. apeksha profile image61
    apekshaposted 8 years ago

    thinking disparity, misunderstandings, so no sex.

  42. Ms Chievous profile image81
    Ms Chievousposted 8 years ago

    When you dread the weekends.....

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      another interesting

  43. Christenstock profile image74
    Christenstockposted 8 years ago

    son/daugther asks dad, "where's my daddy?"
    son/daugther asks mom, "where's my mommy?"

    I've witnessed this with my own eyes.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      another different take

    2. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      very different take

  44. Beth100 profile image83
    Beth100posted 8 years ago

    Lack of trust.  Without trust, there is no basis for any relationship.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      trust and communication are the major one

    2. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      very nice one

  45. RedElf profile image86
    RedElfposted 8 years ago

    Phone call before you have finished morning that asks, "What would it take for you to move out?"
    cold, but true...

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      wow

  46. junomich profile image61
    junomichposted 8 years ago

    Asking the question is the first sign. "Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. (author unknown)

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      good one

    2. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      very nice

  47. JonTutor profile image62
    JonTutorposted 8 years ago

    Simple solution... no marriage no divorce. wink

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      very nice solution

    2. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      wow good one

  48. profile image0
    sandra rinckposted 8 years ago

    Let's see.  My parents got a divorce, my brother got a divorce, I got a divorce... so I think I can say from watching them and experience that the 1st sign of divorce is...

    1. lack of open communication
    2. possessiveness
    3. accusations of infidelity
    4. arguments over the finances (where is my husband spending the money or on who...and vise versa)
    5. the blame game
    6. sleeping in different rooms

    maybe not in any particular order accept for number 1. They stop communicating.

    1. JonTutor profile image62
      JonTutorposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Sad to hear sis.... my parents are divorced... my experience... don't treat your wife/husband as shit... respect him/her.

      1. profile image0
        sandra rinckposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Yeah, that would pretty much sum it up little brother. big_smile

        1. JonTutor profile image62
          JonTutorposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Cool Sis.... Gotta stop worrying... start living...that atheism discussion.... is like our debt... never ending... do ya see any agreement happening anytime soon between fundamentalists and others?

          1. profile image0
            sandra rinckposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            Nope!  I still refuse to sleep in the same bed as a fundamentalist. lol

  49. onthewriteside profile image60
    onthewritesideposted 8 years ago

    The first "sign" of divorce is "your name" on a marriage license...

    Marriage is an institution...and I've been institutionalized twice.  Although the accommodations were rather nice, (you know...padded cells and all), the straight jacket was just more than I could take...  lol

    My parents were separated twice, divorced once, and then re-married each other!  Since my mother was pregnant with me when they got married the first time, and my sister and I were witnesses at their second wedding, I am one of probably very few who can say I was at both of my parents' weddings!

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      very different take

  50. profile image0
    sandra rinckposted 8 years ago

    I thought there was a law were the officiator was supposed to deny two people their marriage vows if one or both were three sheets to the wind... I am sure my officiator cold smell the booze on my breath, not to mention my inebriated drunk laugh at the time... It really could have saved me the money and trouble of going through a divorce.

    1. Lgali profile image47
      Lgaliposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      very nice

 
working