why is it so hard for society (some,not all),to accept nursing in public. When will people understand that nursing our babies is how babies were nourished way before bottles/formula were thougt of.I know some think as us nursers as flashers or obscene,but in reality we feel we have the right to nurse wherever we feel the need to.My issue is,i covered and some still found what i was doing offensive and nasty,there was no way anyone could see whayt i was doing,yet some bully still felt the need to confront me on it.Just to let you know,not all nursers say to hell with everyone some of us like to be dicreet,but when the baby gets bigger and mobile it is hard to not show something,not necessarily skin,again,the last thing some of us want is the attention,we try to go off to the side somewhere,not the restroom!Being away from others made me more relaxed,it takes alot of courage to nurse in public.We need support not damnation.
I don;t mind watching you feed your baby, if you look good ill be jealous more then anything
The other day a woman from my town was kicked out of Olive Garden for nursing in public. It makes me not want to go to Olive Garden, really, it does. It is a right and I hate to see people's rights get crapped on.
i agree not all places are meant for babies/children,but what about airports,fast food restaraunts,i was invited a to an event being held by a local hospital,very fancy,i found a very helpful lady who allowed me to sit in an unused meeting room,because the table was crowded,and i did;nt like to offend people,but i never fed my son in a bathroom.
i am nursing in public and don't see any problem with that.
of course i try to "hide" any flesh , i always have with me in the nursery bag a large bib that i use to cover up and even if sometimes i don't , if you have selfrespect and deceny you won't wip out your breast and show your whole "milkfactory) like i have seen women do which i think is discusting .
Just act normal and people will respect what you're doing
i nursed two kids for a couple of months and also a lot in public.. people have never had a problem with me.
I have nothing against it. It's not like women who are nursing whip them out for all to see
I think nursing in public is just fine, nobody complains when kittens sidle up to momma cat for a meal, it's the same thing for babies and mothers of the human sort.
Then you would LOVE Ontario, Canada, where it is legal for women to walk around topless! Of course, only if weather permits seeing as its as cold as a witches tit in these here parts...
I am totally okay with it and I know when I have my own babies I'll be doing the same thing. Those who have a problem with it can kiss my you know what.
I say do what you have to do to keep your babies healthy whether ppl don't like it or not.
Who cares, tis only a round piece of flesh, like hardly something to get excited about !
I think the issue here is that teenager girls and boys are giggling when they saw woman breast feeding making them realize that the most important use of breast is for breast feeding not daddy feeding.
Maybe that's why your conscious too cause most folks only know breast during romance and not to save hungry babies in which the sole purpose of it is food for the infant.
But... but... it's not natural! A baby shouldn't be drinking the sterile, fresh, perfect-temperature milk produced to nourish a human baby.
It's far MORE natural for the baby to drink over-processed, powdered milk produced to feed baby cows from a plastic bottle!
Get real its totally natural its how mankind started out, that is such a daft thing to say !
LOL Plants and oils. that was a funny remark
I think a person can accept things easily, people as in society get hysterical over the most stupid things.
breast feeding is perfectly natural and I for one see no problem with it.
I'll never cease to be amazed at some of the beautiful things deemed "dirty" by some factions of society, while other very unnatural (IMO) things are totally acceptable and even seen as "more normal" a' la' what Plants & Oils said.
I breastfed my child as discreetly as possible when in public, but I would certainly not deny my baby timely nourishment so as not to offend some prudish type. What are they doing gawking at m' lady parts anyhoo??
I could stare at your lady parts a whole day long
LMAO Misha are you trying to get cyber slapped?
Nope, for people who are more or less active on forums I know who would appreciate such jokes, and who would take offense. RooBee is one of the wisest women around, you'll see when you know her better. And quite pretty, too
I think jealousy plays a major role in this one ...
Personally, I would be more offended by baby cows drinking human milk!
It made me mad when my wife was feeding, how members of the public made her so self conscious and stressed while feeding. She was no fan of getting everything out and was as discreet as possible, she just wanted the best for our girl.
Mothers aren't exhibitionists, they are nurturing people caring for their child.
Society needs to grow up a little.
And a screaming, yelling, hungary and pissed off infant is far more disruptive than a quietly-feeding one.
i too was discreet,but slobs kept upsetting me the same way,apparently these same people must be baby haters too,why else would they upset a defenseless baby,me i defeneded myself,not to prove it's our right,only to give back what the ahole gave to me
Well, my actual take on the post topic is varied... A few years ago, when I was in Iowa City, IA, there was a big case that made the papers where a woman was breast feeding in an upscale restaurant right at the dining table in the center of the dining room. There was a big scuffle when other patrons asked her to stop or to go to the hallway or the restroom to feed the baby.
Personally, I don't have an issue with women who want to nurse in public, as long as they are discreet about it. I think this scenario went over the top a bit...it disturbed the other guests...and resulted in a big scene. There are just some things you don't do while at the dinner table in public in a fine dining atmosphere. Undressing might be one of them. Potty training your child might be another, standing up in the middle of the room and talking to the entire crowd might be another.
Don't worry, . IC is a very feminist place, and she had vocal support. I just don't completely think they were right in this case.
Not trying to discourage breast feeding and all, but the restroom, or room designated for that are good alternatives. Also, a woman could pump her milk and put in a bottle, and many actually do this for public situations. As for the fine dining scenario I am not even sure why someone would take a baby into that environment. Not trying to say do not do it, but I would think getting a sitter might be more enjoyable.
My personal opinion is taking a baby to a fine dining restaurant would not be enjoyable anyway. I used to babysit for people that wanted a couples night out, so they could spend time together for a change without worrying about the kids.
Agreed. Kids don't belong EVERYWHERE. R movies might be another example...
You can't usually smoke in the nonsmoking section at a fine restaurant, either, or generally disturb other people. What if, for instance, somebody decided they had to dress a wound that exposed themselves (all for the good, and necessary, too) in the middle of dinner?
Glad some people get what I mean . A lady once took her baby with her see Titanic at ten at night, and the poor thing was crying the whole time. I actually did not mind as that is her choice, but some people kept staring at her.
Well, yes. I know kids are always supposed to be cute and all, but that would annoy me.
And I'd never do it, either. And I >might< breastfeed in public, but I definitely would be discreet about it...for my own sake. It isn't a public thing... I felt the same way when I worked with this guy who wanted to bring in his video of his wife giving birth to their kid to the office. Uhhh, yeah.
You are dodging the question.
And no, Olive garden is not a "fine" restaurant, at least not how I understand fine dining and how olive garden is in DC area. It is definitely not a McDonalds, yet it is a far cry from Ruth Chris for example.
As for the babies and dining out - can be quite enjoyable, and can be miserable, it really depends on many things, including if baby is hungry or not.
First off you are mixing my comments. I never implied the Olive Garden was fine dining, and I am not that thick. Sorry you think I am. My comment about the Olive Garden was actually not related. Stop mixing and stop inferring. Anyway, I have nothing more to say on this topic as I am tired of people inferring things lol. Let people be.
Absolutely, this was not me who proclaimed babies should be pushed to restrooms to be fed.
Let people be.
I was talking more about what I would do. You who deems to know all lol. Anyway, be it me you give a hard time to because I am not cool and hip. I never was, and you always look out for me to give a hard time to. It is so old, stale as toast.
You're savvy in that you recognize there are fine points to manners. It isn't just about 'what's cool' and all and what everybody else says.. In fact, having no awareness of boundaries is the opposite--that's what is uncool.
They aren't good alternatives at all. Leaving a place and going to feed a baby in a toilet is not much fun.
And expressing milk is much harder than breastfeeding.
This is what I will do if I ever had a baby. You do not have to do it, but I have friends that do this. Some of us do not feel comfortable breast feeding in public, and just as you are free to, we are free not too. Some women cannot even breast feed physically, and it makes them feel bad when other mothers tell them they are not as good for bottle feeding.
In my opinion, it's only bad if you refuse to feed your baby.
What many mothers see as bad is the breaking of the physical mother/child bond, whereas a breastfed child will feel closer to their mother. To that I say, allow the mother who choses not to breastfeed their child to hold their child when they are hungry, which they naturally do, as you don't hook a baby up to a bottle and walk away.
Of course, once the baby learns to hold the bottle, the mother will allow them to do so ... and I think this is the real schism these parents are speaking of .. where a mother will see the bottle as a substitute for their warmth and love, offering little affection.
Are we to call them bad parents for this? I'm not so sure ... Some parents never received a lot of affection when they were children, so it's difficult to break that cycle. If someone discovers they are such a parent, then they owe it to themselves to give as much as they emotionally can, doing their best to break the cycle passed on through their lineage.
I don't see these parents as evil or bad, I see them as emotionally unready - but as I said - once they discover this to be the truth, they can cure this on their own by making more time for holding baby, and in time, it will become less self-forced and more enjoyed .. breaking the pattern handed down.
Also, I have found that children born without siblings often (not always) have trouble expressing their love to their children. I'm sure there is a logical explanation for this, though I haven't looked it up ... I've just made this observation from looking at parents over the years ... those who came from large families and those who came from small ones. Again, it isn't an exact truth ... just something I have observed.
Of course you can do it, as other women do. But it is harder, and there is also the problem of supply and demand, and your breasts getting full of milk and feeling uncomfortable.
People have the right not to breast feed if they don't want to, but those of us who do shouldn't be punished for feeding our children. My daughter wouldn't drink from a bottle, at all. I was in a Chinese restaurant once, and baby started crying. I think the people would rather I fed her than her crying through their meal.
I had the challenge of being a mom nursing twins. It was difficult, as being discreet is more challenging in this scenario. Try as you may to be prepared with a bottle, you can't always foresee your baby's needs (during growth spurts they can be ravenous). Plus, many people can't afford the luxury of a babysitter, especially with multiple children. No doubt, that's an ideal situation, but not always feasible.
I got tired of living around society's issues with me nursing my children. I initially went through a lot of effort to nurse in my van, the bathroom, or any other hidden place. I got sick of it, it disrupted my life, and I decided to REVOLT and feed my babies where and when I wanted. I did get a few looks. I did get to say: "I'm not sure how this affects YOU" to irritated onlookers. I find it appalling that providing sustenance for my children was frowned upon.
Anyone who looks at a nursing mother as anything but a mother giving nourishment to a baby, is a sicko. They need help.
Both of you have distorted my words. I never said I was against breast feeding, it is just not something I would do. Also, my mother worked and she was not able to breast feed, and we have a very close relationship. I think both sides can be judgmental about this issue, in my opinion. Personally I do not look at women breast feeding, but those who breast feed should not assume all women want to, or even can. As I shared I did have friends who were physically unable to produce milk and breast feed their children, and they actually had women tell them they were not as good of mothers.
To be honest, I was not talking about your post, at all. I was just generalizing about people who have a problem with women who breastfeed. I don't get the impression that you have a problem with thinking breastfeeding is "obscene". I didn't notice that you had a post with WordScribe's until after I posted. I didn't mean to lump you into that statement. I apologize.
Even expressed breast milk is not an equal substitute for nursing. Breast milk comes in thinner at first to quench a baby's thirst, then thicker to address the hunger. Would you like it if you ordered a meal and a drink and the waitress proceeded to dump your drink into your lunch and serve it to you that way? Secondly, babies who are bottle fed are at higher risk of developing nipple confusion, which interferes with nursing and sometimes ends it. Finally, some babies refuse to take bottles at all, so bringing a bottle, let alone hiring a babysitter is not a viable option for a new mother who might want to have lunch with her friends or something resembling a date with her husband now and then.
i would have loved to have a babysitter,for 5 kids!we arenot recluses you know,and i would of slapped the hell out of some one for mentioning the bathroom,not of all of us pump,to me that's just another way society rules us,as far as dining out,we can do that.
I really do not care if women breast feed in public, but I would carry a bottle because that is just me. Another thing I find funny is when people swear how breast feeding is always better, and that is what the best moms do. Not all women can breastfeed, so they should not be made to feel bad just because they are unable to do so.
As for the Olive Garden I would not go there anyway. They boycotted the Letterman show after the Sarah Palin jokes, which shows how uptight they can be.
I have no problem with babies taking on food when needed anywhere.
No....I'M talking 5 star rating, $$$ with well-known chefs, etc.
Olive Gardens are so bustling you probably wouldn't even notice...
My comment was not about the Olive Garden being fine dining, which I do not believe it is. Misha implied I thought this, but all I was saying about that establishment is that it is somewhere I would not eat. I was referring to the other poster, but he inferred many things in my comment. I really get bored with that lol.
Love you too Misha . You are always there to give one a hard time. Guess it is sort of sexy lol.
Funny how it's ok to see big breasted woman in tiny little shirts, with everything hanging out, or short shorts which don't leave anything to the imagination, while it's offensive to see a woman breast feeding a child in public, which is natural. Most woman cover themselves up and you see very little of the breast. It's ok to see billboards, and advertisements and magazines with half naked woman, but breast feeding is somehow denegrating. Double standards? I think yes, people show grow up.
I breast fed my daughter, and I breast fed her in public. When my baby was hungry, she ate. No one ever dared to say anything. I would have let them have it, if they had. Fear and hatred of the female body makes me sick. It takes a pervert to think that nursing your child is obscene.
Wow, full marks for breastfeeding twins! That can't have been easy, well done.
One baby at once is quite enough for me, and 10 months is amazing. How old are they now?
No, maybe I am just being too sensitive on this issue, but I guess I should keep my opinions to myself on some things. Honestly I was just sharing the experience some other people had with breast feeding. I can see you were being more general, but it was kind of irritating to have two people in a row quote me and say how breast feeding in public is so much better, when I never told them they could not do that in the first place. Because my opinion was the divergent one it was seen as unpopular.
I know plenty of people who wouldn't breast feed in public. My best friend didn't breast feed at all, and I think she took a lot of flack from other mothers about it. It is a personal choice. Whether your choice is to do it, or not, it should be up to you.
I didn't mean to make you feel like I was attacking you at all. Sorry about that. I just wanted to point out that babysitters aren't always a possibility and that breasfeeding in the bathroom really sucks.
The rest of the points weren't geared towards you at all. I totally agree it's an individual choice. By no means, do I think breast-feeding is the only way. I was talking to the people in the public at large who find it offensive. I know you don't feel that way about it.
I don't think mothers should be giving each other flak at all.
There is, however, no doubt that formula feeding is worse for babies than breast feeding.
If you breastfeed discreetly.. its a natural thing
Babies have to eat.
I fed my son when he needed feeding. He was a baby, I was his mother, what else were we supposed to do?
I got one negative comment, once, and far more positive ones. But mostly, people didn't notice.
I'm amazed that people would complain about a mother nursing her infant in public. Usually, when a mother covers herself or lets her shirt hang down, there is barely anything showing. Do we hear people complaining when a women is seen in a bikini? Or how about the cleavages of shirts nowadays? There is definatly more exposed in those than when nursing! Our society is so backward!
Just what I was thinking! If people are going to make a stink about a baby being fed, then they should have the nerve to walk up to EVERY woman wearing a low cut shirt and complain!
Personally I nursed my babies when they needed it, regardless of where I was or who was around. Did my best to be discreet, and most never notice, because the baby is not screaming!
I nursed in public as discreetly as possible and never cared what people thought. It is mildly humorous to me that those most opposing it are giving no thought to the baby being nourished but only to the 'perversion' of a woman's breast being sucked on, our prudish English overtones here in the US!
I also have to wonder about the breast fetishists who would enjoy watching a woman breastfeed her child.
Get over yourselves. Breasts were made to feed babies, not for men's jollies. And didn't your mother teach you not to stare?
I live in Washington state, and they just passed a law making it fully legal to nurse in public (before it was kind of a gray area legally). I have nursed my son frequently in public for almost two years now, and it's starting to get kind of funny because he is old enough now to pull up my shirt himself whenever he wants a bit. No one has ever hassled me, but god help them if they ever do!
If your baby's hungry, your baby's gotta eat. Everyone else can find something else to be angry about.
"Disgusting" is far too strong.
In my experience, the baby covers the breast all by himself when feeding, anyway (-:
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