My favorite story to tell is how my 5 year old poured an entire bottle of dish detergent in the back of our toilet "just because" and when he flushed a few times it spilled foam all over our carpet. It was hard to clean up, but well worth the laughs.
There are so many, but seeing that it's autumn already and watching the Canada geese gather together in the fields, this one seems appropriate. We lived under the migration route of thousands upon thousands of Canada geese as they migrated south. It wasn't unusual to hear them throughout the night as they flew. We were walking down our mile long driveway when my 4 year old son looked up into the sky when he heard a ruckus of honking. He pointed and exclaimed in astonished excitement: "Look at that! Holy flock!!!" as the sky overhead was darkened by the bodies of geese flying above.
I have a lot of them, but they're all kind of "small moments" (as opposed to "big, hysterical, story"):
One that comes to mind is once when I had to get quick cash from the ATM, which was in one of those glass-booths that stand alone. My kids were young, but my eldest son was in his early teens. My daughter was a preschooler, and my youngest son was around seven (I think). It was Winter, and my daughter would always take her coat off. I know it was wrong, but I pulled the car right up to the ATM enclosure (truly inches away). It was a big deal for me to do this (because it just wasn't anything I'd ever done), but I told the kids I would lock the doors, and I could see the car from the ATM.
I said, "I'm locking the door. I'll just be a minute, and I can see the car." My youngest son, always a sensible, "thinker-type", little kid was concerned - I could tell. It probably didn't help that I said, "Do not unlock the doors for anyone at all - unless it's me." (I did keep the keys, but I thought they may want to save me the trouble of using them.)
I was not prepared for my youngest (and conscientious) son's follow-up question when he worriedly asked, "How will we know it's not someone DISGUISED as you?" (What do you say to a question like that? ) Since I didn't want to get into the odds that someone capable of disguising himself to look so much like me my own three children could be fooled, I modified the instructions and said, "Don't let ANYONE in - not even me. I have my keys." My conscientious (and adorably sweet and sensible) son seemed content with that arrangement.
My sister and her husband made the mistake (in my opinion) of dolting on their son because of guilt feelings, because they both worked, and after the divorce, it got even worse, he had everything...but his instant reaction to anything was "I don't like, or I don't want". McDonalds...I don't like cheeseburgers, cinema - It too noisey in here, family birthday party - I wanna go home! One outing when we took all the kids in our extended family and some of their friends cherry picking I decided it was just too much! I walked around from tree to tree looking at my daughters and their friends and cousins giggling and picking and eating cherries - which was allowed. As I approached my five year old nephews' tree, I noticed he had absolutely no cherries in his little pail, I asked him why he didn't have any cherries in his pail? He looked up at me with red-purple stained cheeks, lips, teeth and tongue and said, "I don't like cherries!"
Lisa and Deborah, they are wonderful stories.Children are so interesting.
Too many to choose from, but familiarity breeds contempt... and children. I was too familiar, 6 times to be exact, not counting the ones I am not aware of. Another sad part of my sorry existence I suppose. There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like children or hate them than to travel with them.
At the beach with my teenage grandson when he decided that , yes, he really did want to swim but had no swim trunks with him. Just rolled up his jeans and went in. When leaving with a two hour drive ahead of us I stopped at a store and bought him a pair of shorts. He then went into the men's room and changed. Rolled up his wet jeans and brought them home. about a half hour after arriving home, I went back outside and saw a shining silver object on the driveway. Turns out it was a small (two inch) fish that fell out of his jeans. He went swimming and caught a fish. He did not think it was that funny. The rest of us did
After being a parent for 24 years and through 3 kids, this is absolutely the funniest -- and the saddest!
My oldest is very smart. Straight A's straight through elementary and high school. Dean's List in college, etc., etc.
She was 20-ish and we were around the dinner table. She looked at me and said, "Mom, where do they hold the Kentucky Derby?"
My middle daughter, being quicker on the uptake than old Mom, responded with, "Cait, when was the War of 1812?"
Too many but here's one that stands out.
I was golfing with my brother-in-law Jason, and we brought along my nephew who was 4 at the time. I had hit the ball off the fairway and into the woods so we drove the golf cart into the lightly wooded area to search for my ball. While Jason and I were searching, my nephew decided he was going to be a race car driver and took off in the golf cart. He was dodging trees left and right. I thought for sure I was going to have to buy that cart. He was having a blast, his smile from ear to ear and they were big ears at the time. He finally stopped but he taunted me as I approached from the rear. As he was about to take off again I grabbed the back of the cart thinking I had enough strength to keep it from moving...lol I was wrong. He started to drag me as I, for some unknown reason, held on. It was like I was in slow motion as I could see a couple older gentlemen on the next fairway just staring at the folly going on inside the woods. I let go after a couple hundred feet and hoped that nobody had filmed that because I didn't want it to end up on America's funniest home videos. All in all, he was a pretty good driver at the age of 4.
I ran out of milk for breakfast and would tell my kids, ' Mom's going to go out in the bush to milk the cow, k, stay here, be right back' they looked for this cow for many years before realizing I got milk from their grandma's house next door,
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I invite friends from his old neighborhood over!
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