jump to last post 1-4 of 4 discussions (5 posts)

Mother/Daughter caught in the middle/Man relationships

  1. rfranklin09 profile image60
    rfranklin09posted 7 years ago

    How do u handle your mother in your relationship? It very tricky because u luv your mom but u also luv your man. Guys are welcome to respond.

    1. dutchman1951 profile image60
      dutchman1951posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I had this problem when I first got married. My Mom was relentless with her insults and statements, and sarcastic meanings.

      It came down to me telling my Mom, to join in with us, or be perminantly left out. She, my mom, decided to walk, Her decision, and she was asked not to do it by both of us.

      She called Lanna a dam money grabbing Russian- for sale war bride! It really Hurt Lanna. I met Lanna in Minsk on one of my Field Service trips to work on Computers there. She was no for sale Bride, she was an independent beautiful woman with heart and soul, and up-bringing, strong and sweet and loving.

      and when we found each other it was like...wham! We, my mom and I, never talked again after that last insult flew.

      Not a good ending. I was an only son, only child also. But in Lanna I found me, my heart and my very being, my soul mate. Mom never understood that bond, that power we have togeather! Never got it!

      She was proper New England, stiff, staunch, Navy Officers wife, all about duty and place, she did not have with my Dad, what Lanna and I have. She could not grasp it. My Dad stayed at sea and made love to his boat. She was lost, but would never retreat from her stance, she was asked twice to re-consider it, but she held it to her death. I hope you do not have that to face, it is not good.

  2. 0
    cosetteposted 7 years ago

    i think parents need to respect their children's boundaries, especially if they are grown up.

    and you have to respect your partner/spouse/lover's wishes before your parent's because you are sharing and building a life with them. if you allow your parent to meddle in your relationship, that will just cause all kinds of problems down the road.

    reassure your parents you love them no matter what, and reinforce that this is your life, not theirs. if they understand that you love them even though you want them to respect your boundaries, that would help.

  3. rfranklin09 profile image60
    rfranklin09posted 7 years ago

    I have reminded my mom that I am a grown woman many times and talking doesn't seem to do any good.  My mother is very strong-willed and sometimes it makes the situation worse.  There has been a lot of stress on our relationship but I don't think it really has to do with the man. I am on only child and I think my mother just can't let go!

  4. rfranklin09 profile image60
    rfranklin09posted 7 years ago

    Wow, I am sorry that was the outcome of your relationship with your mother. You are right I hope that does not happen with my mom. I believe neither of us would let it get to that point. Well I am glad you found happiness with your partner. I hope to do the same.