When mt step-father that I adored past away and I talked to him the night before. He was my dad since we lost our natural father when we were young. he was our shining light and he was our everything.
my 2nd year wedding anniversary..... we woke to a call that my husbands brother had been killed by a drunk driver.
The day of my daughter's funeral.
My niece also passed away at that time, and the visitation for her funeral was the same weekend.
It was too much, so I didn't have a formal ceremony. We just quietly left the funeral home, drove to my hometown, and put my daughter's ashes with my dad's grave.
Very few people even knew what was going on. My daughter was at University of Michigan for quite a long time because I agreed to allow med students to study her after her autopsy. When she was returned to me, I didn't tell anybody outside of my immediate family. That was four days before my niece passed.
I felt a need to keep the second funeral secret because it was simply too overwhelming. That may have been a mistake, as I am not dealing with it very well.
She would have been 5 this year.
There are no words... I am truly sorry for your loss.
There is always time for closure. it's never too late to have a "formal" ceremony to receive that closure. Just because you didn't do it back then, only means you weren't ready. Sounds like you might be now and maybe you need it. Just a thought. Take care.
Stimp - it's something I rarely talk about, but I'm working on it lately. Trying to stop myself from thinking that the whole damn thing is supposed to be a secret. That starts to feel like you are supposed to be ashamed.
You say sharing is helpful and that is true. What you said here is more helpful to me than anything I've heard in a long time, thank you.
I'm so sorry for Ben. That is heartbreaking.
To all who have posted here...
Sympathy, and strength
My best regards go out to all who have posted a response. Sharing your experience is helpful. My biggest loss was the day just over a year ago when I had to sit with my companion horse, Ben, and wait for him to pass for three hours after he broke his back on a trail ride. Amazing how our minds allow us to overcome such obstacles. You ALL are amazing.
When I started this, I didn't realize it would be loaded with so much poignant memories.
I see that it is almost always the death of someone close that produces the saddest moments.
Please keep them coming
My fiancee and I split up after 18 months, then 10 minutes later my mom had a stroke and never regained consciousness. She died two weeks later, I never spoke to my fiancee or mother again. that was two years ago last month. My sister and I still don't talk because of the funeral and my grandmother died while we were burying mom. The whole time I just wanted to scream and yell at God, guess I still do. Never forgotten about that night still wondering why. Guess that's how death and loss go, they hit when you're least ready and you hope you come through the other side able to feel again or want to. Sorry about your daughter Jen.
Sometimes life just isn't right is it?
It's now the one year anniversary that I was abandoned by my love, and lost the friendship and companionship of a family member at the same time. It seems a year is not long enough for the grief to pass. However, I'm not living my life in storage. I'm out and about, living life and trying not to be jaded and think less of humanity. In the end, I believe that healing will occur, however long it takes, and I think there are, indeed, good people in the world.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I refuse to go down with the ship. There are good things that will happen.
I'm trying to find a place where it IS right.
Your story had tears in my eyes Scott.
I don't remember much of my weekend. I blocked it out. I see a shrink, he helps me a lot.
I secretly do feel a little shame because I signed a DNR on SueAnn. I asked them to perform a baptism for the family. That is why I had to come out of the closet so to speak with my religious family.
Their acceptance of me fills me with much of the love I had lost.
You and I really do share many things. I relate to you. The losses, compounded like that, are barely bearable.
But, you and I will come out the other side as two very strong people.
That is why I say sympathy and strength, my friend.
To all here who have lost, I just want you to know that I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad to have an association and friendship here with you in this community. Strangely, there is some comfort in sharing these burdens. Thanks, all.
The day I lost my best friend Margot,who died from a cerebral hemorrhage was the saddest day of my life because I met her when I was 14 She died two days after her 37th birthday. She left three little girls under 5 without a mother, to be brought up by their father.
The other sad part about this was that due to the fact that I had spent a considerable amount of time with the girls, Kate 5, Joe 3 and Lou who was just 1, babysitting for their mum and dad, the girls thought that because their 1st Mummy had gone to heaven, that I was going to be their new mummy. In fact, it became very hard to handle the talk that was going around, some of the troublemakers in our parish were making it out to be something sordid, instead of a friend of the family helping out looking after the girls, that I loved dearly. I had to leave in the end otherwise both their father's and my reputations would be destroyed, even when his own mother moved in, she accused me of "sleeping with her son", which wasn't true of course. I still remember the day I left, because they thought that they had done something bad and I was punishing them by leaving them. They were crying and so was I. I even cried on the plane.They did not understand the real reason for my leaving, but they know now of course, the truth behind it all, and we have a very good relationship, which I treasure greatly.
In fact, their mother Margot, would have been very proud of her three little girls, because they have grown into three lovely woman, and each have children of their own and I couldn't be prouder of them if they were my own biological daughters.
We still keep in touch and talk regularly on the phone or by e mail.
My husband's cousin has been missing for five days now. We weren't that close, but it is tearing at my heart, nonetheless.
I don't know that it constitutes as the 'hardest day,' but it is one of the hardest experiences so far.
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