jump to last post 1-18 of 18 discussions (37 posts)

What to do when you're sister is a complete and utter *****? Help!

  1. Sa Toya profile image86
    Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago

    My sister drives me crazy

    I am soo PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

    You have NO idea, I wanted to hit her...but I never let myself get out of control.

    She has had issues with me since she was 14, and says I act holier than thou....when I don't she hates the fact that I chose to make different decisions in life than her.

    She buys me things when I don't want or ask for them and then calls me ungrateful even when I say thanks....

    She's still at university, because she f*cked up her course and has 2 more years to complete.

    She's made some bad decisions and I don't condemn her for them...in fact she has a bad atttude with the family but is sweet to everyone else...and gets everything...I mean her luck is insane. That pissed me off when I was younger I couldn't get how someone so hurtful, rude and disrespectful always wound up with whatever she wanted. GRRRRR

    I've made peace with that...but she says things, mean things like calling me a failure and that everything I'd do will fail...she never wants to give any input when I ask her to red my hubs or help with my blog.

    I always end up apologising when it's her starting all the sh*t. I always try to make amends. I'm at wits end now....it's hard any advice...sorry for the long read.

    I know I'm to blame sometimes and can tease when I shouldn't.
    Our family extend included are fully aware that she's a bitch I mean... a bitch you can love or have to love...I should probably write a hub roll

    1. falcon64 profile image61
      falcon64posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Hold your temper! Whatsoever happen she is still your sister. Always bear in mind..."Blood is ticker than water."

      1. Sa Toya profile image86
        Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Agrred! Though it's easier said than done!!!!

  2. theirishobserver. profile image62
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    Now Sa Toya, I expect more from you, you are a woman, an intellegent woman, so lets talk to sister and make up.....

    1. Sa Toya profile image86
      Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol

      I know..........but I have no where else to whine...vent!

  3. Cagsil profile image60
    Cagsilposted 7 years ago

    Hey Sa Toya,

    I know how difficult family members can be to deal with. My family isn't the greatest.

    However, with that said. Do you feel that you are honest when you deal with her?  Do you feel your actions are honest to you?

    Are you willing to accept that you are human and move on?

    The method in which I can advise is to simply continue to live your life, in the manner you see fit and let her words roll off your shoulders, to not let it bother you. I know this can be difficult, but stay focused on yourself and when she is nice to you, be nice back. When she is mean to you, then be nice to her some more.

    Doing this, throws out all negative energy she brings, either to you via her actions or diminishes her effect when she speaks. Stop asking her for assistance. When she gives you something, kill her with kindness. Throw her out of whack by stealing her energy(a positive smile or excited reactions, even mimicked, deflates negativity).

    I understand how angry you can be, but do realize that you've already proven to yourself that you are above her petty actions. And, I know you're looking for help, hence why I responded.

    I hope I did help. smile Good luck going forward. smile

    1. Sa Toya profile image86
      Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      smile

      Thanks alot Cags....It's so hard killing her with kindness sometimes...she can be really nasty.

      But I think it's worth the effort me, my peace of mind and sanity. I'm no angry anymore...since reading this I just feel a bit embarrassed because we just had an absolute screaming match.

      It's gonna be tough but thanks for the advice and reading my rant... smile

      I'll be using it

      1. Cagsil profile image60
        Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        You're welcome. smile Glad I could help. smile  I know it will be difficult, I still to this day get abused by my sister, her mannerisms and her method for looking into my life, is skewed by knowledge she doesn't have. So, what's that tell you? smile Just another thought. big_smile lol lol

        1. Sa Toya profile image86
          Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          big_smile

          lol I'm actually smiling  now like proper...hahahahaha cheered me right up!

  4. Wendi M profile image82
    Wendi Mposted 7 years ago

    Sa Toya honey, you haven't made peace with it...otherwise it wouldn't bother you this much.

    I find myself in your shoes a lot.  I have sister (although she is not a bad person) who can be very self-centered. 

    On those days when I feel like I'm going to explode, I do exactly what you just did, but I do it verbally.  I get on the phone (or sometimes just talk to my boyfriend) and do my ranting and raving about whatever it is that she's done to piss me off...and then I breathe.

    It's taken years of practice, but this is what seems to work for me.  We have no control over other people's actions, we can only work on learning how to deal with them.

    Good luck,
    Wendi

    1. Sa Toya profile image86
      Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      big_smile I usually don't vent about her...that could be my problem.

      She's not a bad person but is mean towards me especially she's fine with everyone else..........

      Looks like I need to kill her with kindness and vent more.

  5. theirishobserver. profile image62
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    Sorry that I gave you a verbal spanking then....I just dont like to see you up set smile

    1. Sa Toya profile image86
      Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Cheers...I don't mind...
      I semi needed it...I can draw anger out for a looooong time smile

      8 sisters...bloody hell how do you do it!!!!!!!!

      That's alot of PMS and general female drama.

  6. theirishobserver. profile image62
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    I should mention that I have 8 sisters....

  7. profile image0
    A Texanposted 7 years ago

    I had a cousin like that but I can't tell you what I did for three more years, statute of limitations and all that!

    1. Wendi M profile image82
      Wendi Mposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      LOL...now humor works too!

      1. profile image0
        A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I'm serious! 3 years and I will talk, not a minute before.

        1. Sa Toya profile image86
          Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          lol lol

        2. Wendi M profile image82
          Wendi Mposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Ok, I'll be right here.

  8. theirishobserver. profile image62
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    Texan, hear what your saying.....some times a good spanking can do the trick...

  9. profile image0
    Justine76posted 7 years ago

    family is hard cuz you love them, they have the power to really get to you. try to explain calmly how her actions make you feel, when your both calm. but dont expect a change. hope you feel better soon.

    1. Sa Toya profile image86
      Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      forgot to say cheers...I feel better smile

  10. theirishobserver. profile image62
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    Yes alot of PMS why do you think I left home when I was 16, at least there was no surprises when I went on my first date...I knew everything about girls....well it was a small house...

    1. Sa Toya profile image86
      Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol
      well a whole lot of sisters does have it's perks.

      1. profile image0
        A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Do you have nude pillow fights? Talk slow!

  11. theirishobserver. profile image62
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    justine76 - feeling your vibe there, good advise...

  12. theirishobserver. profile image62
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    They often fought with me as I had a pet rooster and they were jealous......

    1. profile image0
      A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      They come to snuff the rooster

  13. Ivorwen profile image85
    Ivorwenposted 7 years ago

    When my younger sis decided to be a royal *****, I told her I would not talk to her again until she was ready to be nice.  If she called, and started in, I would say goodbye and hang up.  I refused to see her in person.

    This year, for Christmas, I sent her a gift for the first time in several years.  She called, and we had the best conversation we have had in three or four years. (It had been close to 2 years since we had talked.)

  14. theirishobserver. profile image62
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    Yes Taxan they did, and I ..remember..a time ..when my rooster was so scared he went up the leg of my sisters tights....and as I was telling her to take of her tights and I would take out my rooster...my Mammy walked in....I was grounded...

    1. profile image0
      A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      The luck of the Irish!

  15. theirishobserver. profile image62
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    Thanks brother, I should have said my other 7 sisters were already grounded.....I wasnt happy but at least I wasnt lonely....

  16. theirishobserver. profile image62
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    Sa Toya, I hope you feel better now......

    1. Sa Toya profile image86
      Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I do big_smile waiting on football to start now!! cheers irish

  17. torimari profile image80
    torimariposted 7 years ago

    I have two younger sisters that can be a combination of this...except for buying me random stuff.

    Though I love them, one is very self-absorbed and catty, while the other one is materialistic and conceited at times.

    I know I can be a dick, but usually looking out for their own good when they do stupid things.

    I've learned that I can't win in a vocal argument. I don't like yelling. I usually am blunt, say my peace without raising my voice and walk away. That really gets them going.

    It's a losing battle for me but then they are the ones getting in real trouble usually...bleh. xD

    1. Sa Toya profile image86
      Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Story f my life...I don't like shouting but she can take me to that point.

      I never really win and always end up saying sorry first...I don't like going to bed angry....and you're right they'r the ones getting into trouble....smile

  18. NewYorker profile image80
    NewYorkerposted 7 years ago

    Be a bitch back! Easy!

 
working