Family, "On being a Father"

1. 0

   rob cloptonposted 13 years ago

   I read an article today titled, "Where are the African American Fathers"?  I took offense to the title and the article for many reasons.  1. I have strived to be the best father ever, and I know other African American fathers that have strived and survived as almost perfect role models and fathers. 2.  Who was this article refering to. a. pro athletes b. movie stars or 3. entertainers in other fields, this less than one percent of our population, however they receive all of the attention when they cross the line with society or the law, thus the rest of the 99% is judged.  What about the middle class American father, one as I, raised in a rural town in the South, the son of a share cropper, went on to become a college grad, and executive with the greatest company in transportation history.  Supported my children in every endeavor, taught them right from wrong and to be responsible citizens.  All three  attended top Universities, Yale, NYU, Wash U.  They are upcoming professionals, lawyers, doctors... Did any one survey me or my friends, whether in the middle class or lower class, and the answer is "no".  It is so easy to group us all together and point to the failures of a few and draw the conclusion that there are no more "Good" African American Fathers.  What are your feelings on this subject.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      tobey100posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      We all tend to put everyone in groups don't we?  As the father of five sons I'm actually offended for you.  I never bother to read any article whose title contains a blazing generality such as 'Where are African American Fathers'.  The very implication is all inclusive and wrong!

      replyreport
2. 61

   SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years ago

   hey rob, yes I agree; it's not fair to make blanket statements about a group of people; stereotyping; generalizing; happens all the time; you just have to look past it and know that you know who you are. was reading an item (news article) on this forum the other day about a person in iran blaming women for disaster and destruction basically - and the sad part is some people will believe the statement because they just follow and don't form their own opinions.  but....not all of us....peace....

   replyreport
3. 59

   Ohmaposted 13 years ago

   If I fell into the category of African American father I would be offended by this as well.
   Absentee parents are not limited by race or sex. There are as many moms abandoning their kids as there are dads but the media never want to talk about that.

   replyreport
4. 84

   wychicposted 13 years ago

   It sounds like the article was much more interested in painting a racist picture than anything...it doesn't matter what race, geographical location, or background you look at, there will always be a high percentage of absent fathers (and yes, mothers too). Personally, all of the African-American fathers I know are very involved and devoted with their kids, and I know my husband, for one, is very grateful to his son's African-American stepfather who is very devoted to filling in in teaching his son to be a man during the times he can't be there due to distance and custody laws.

   replyreport
5. 60

   TMMasonposted 13 years ago

   So we should deny the epidemic of fatherless children and the resulting issues?
   
   Because it is racist?
   
   So, Bill Cosby is a racist? He has ranted about the situation in the Black communitty.
   
   No. I have not read what we're talking about. But if it is okay for the left to make blind, unknowing opinions, about AZ.
   
   Then what the hell....

   replyreport
   1. 84

      wychicposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      No, it's certainly not okay to deny that fatherless children is an issue, I personally just don't see the point of narrowing it down so specifically when it is an issue in every community. Yes, there are issues that are more rampant in the black community, or that people are more concerned with because they're closer to home for them (as is probably true in Bill Cosby's case), but I don't think (and I haven't seen specific statistics, but just from observation) that absent parents is any worse within a particular group, it's a problem everywhere.

      replyreport
6. 60

   SpanStarposted 13 years ago

   Rob Clopton,
   
   Your point is well taken regarding the upbringing of African-American children. There are a number of African-American fathers not to mention African-American women doing an outstanding job with developing good moral character in their offspring.
   
   TMMason also brings up a very good point in that many of African-American children are lost in a society where American prisons are overran by African Americans. It always saddens me to see in the majority of crimes seen on television there is usually an African American somewhere involved. We have famous sports leaders as well as other prominent figures in the media of African descent who often and quickly reject the idea that they are no role model, like it or not there will be African-Americans modeling after these people.
   
   When I was growing up the music that I listened to sort of directed my footsteps in life I would suspect that process is still going on today. If the types of music that children are listening to today such as gang rap, and do anything to make a buck, I personally feel this kind of communication with African-Americans not to mention other races places them at risk of being less than what they're capable of.
   
   Rather than looking at this article as a condemnation of what is wrong with African-Americans we should look at it as an opportunity to correct what needs to be corrected.

   replyreport