What you describe doesn't sound at all like night terrors (which are hard to wake kids from, and which is the only reason a night terror occurred to me at all). Kids don't remember night terrors either; but, again, it really doesn't sound like a night terror at all. My eldest son had night terrors, but they'd happen at the same time after he feel asleep, and they'd happen on days when he had been "frazzled". He was incoherent and difficult to wake. Once I'd be able to wake him up he'd stare blankly for awhile, seeming confused. Then he's eventually go "out like a light. On any night it happened it would only happen once.
I learned how to head them off by not letting him go to bed as early as I may otherwise had him go to bed. I'd keep him up an hour later, and it wouldn't happen. It was when he'd fall asleep too early and seem to get into a deep sleep earlier that he'd, without fail, have a night terror. Kids having night terrors open their eyes even during the night terror. They just look "zombie like".
This is an absolutely wild guess, but I'm wondering if she's not really sleeping when she cries, but if she's pretending to be sleeping because she's in the room with you, has to do her crying, and maybe feels more comfortable pretending she's asleep. Another wild (and maybe ignorant) guess is that she may really remember what she was crying about (or dreaming about) but not want to talk about it.
Sometimes if little kids (especially around her age or five) have to lay awake too long before they can fall asleep they start thinking up stuff that bothers them. I think it's because they're not happy to have to lay there wide awake, so they're in that unhappy mood anyway. Then they seem like they kind of think up stuff that "fits the mood".
If she really is asleep and sleep-talking, it's common for someone not to recall dreams they had the night before; so that's another thing. To me, it does seem kind of on the odd side that the dreams aren't about "willy nilly" stuff and are, instead, about real-life issues that have gone on. Maybe that's just her way of dreaming and/or dealing with things that bothered her; but so much of a "real-life" connection does make me wonder if it's really always dreams.
Then again, I'm someone who "dreams simple" usually. I'll get all kinds of things that I encountered (objects, people, things I heard, quick thoughts I had, etc.) showing up in one dream, all mixed up - as if it's the last few days' "goings on" mixed up and dumped out in an odd little "story". Even with such obvious connections to what I recently encountered in real life, though, those things are still mixed up to "make a new story". Of course, she's four. Who am I to guess about whether she relives the day.
I think if she's particularly bothered by what goes on during any day, or if she's particularly sensitive; maybe that stuff comes out in dreams. Maybe, too, she just needs to cry about them. If she has a lot going on that makes her feel unhappy, it all seem like more than she can deal with.
Also, little kids can get to an age where they start to worry about their mother or father dying. (Five is big for that, I think.) I remember thinking about my mother dying when I was trying to go to sleep, then I'd get myself crying. Then my parents would come in and ask why, and I couldn't tell them why (because it seemed like such an awful thing to say, "I'm afraid you're going to die"). So, instead, I'd either leave them to guess or say "the next thing". Maybe your daughter is doing that.
Maybe (just in case that's what the thing is) you could just kind of mention (during the day and in some way unrelated to her crying bouts) how you and her father are young and healthy. If you have your own parents maybe you could mention how much you love them but how you love them so much you sometimes get worrying about them "for no reason". Maybe you could mention that they you "know they're reasonably young and healthy", and there's really no reason right now to worry about them. (If she is close to grandparents, and they're older, maybe she's thinking about them dying too, or instead.) Again (and obviously), just more guesses.
When little kids get to thinking about, and being afraid that, their mother or father will die; they REALLY get upset. It's a phase I think most go through. Maybe they're less open about it if they're worried about how their parents will react if they're honest about it.
Hope some of these guesses/thoughts give you something to start from, as far as identifying what's happening goes. (I, personally, don't think putting water on her is a great idea. I wonder if, instead, maybe you could pick her up, get her away from the bedroom, and go sit with her, hold her in a living room chair, and try to calm her. Maybe say things like, "I don't know what you're dreaming about, but everything is OK. Let's just sit here until you feel better, and then we go sleep." If, by any chance, she's really awake and crying and pretending she's asleep so she doesn't have to answer questions about crying; she probably wouldn't want to be honest about that if she thinks you're all frazzled about her crying. She would need to know you're calm, you're able to sort out any worries/sadness she has for her, and you're able to help her know it's OK to feel sad or worried and cry - that everyone does it once in a while, and that children her age often worry or feel sad and cry.
Other than any of the above kind of possibilities, it's always worth asking her pediatrician. People have all kinds of sleep disorders.
