Im sure this is a everyday struggle for alot of single mothers out there. I would love to know, if and when should it be okay to bring your date around your child.
I think it is traumatiing for a child see his mom coming home with different men regularly. Do not bring dates around your child unless your are sure that your are going to pursuit a long lasting relationship with that person
Yep Yep....I feel you. I got so tired of declining dates that I just stop giving out my number to avoid getting close to people to some extent.
I do agree, but I think you can bring dates around your child if and only if they knew that person your dating and there's a bond between them, just a thought.
I am in a little bit of a different situation as I was a single dad...I simply didn't date too much because of my kids and work but if and when I did, it was on the weekends when they were with their mom and was careful not to introduce my kids to someone who was just "breezing" through, so to speak. I saw my poor kids go thru this scenario with their mom and it was hard to bite my tongue. But I just try to be the positive role model in their life and hope time bears it all out. I guess bottom line is, we all screw our kids up to some extent in some fashion. If you don't think that, you are prolly REALLY screwing them up....but we can at least be conscious of our choices and make every effort to put our children first since none of it is their problem.
I am also a single father so I have a different point of view of when to introduce a date to my son. It is always harder for the parent who has the child(ren) to date because they have children most of the time. I am not going to lie I have it much easier than most people my ex and I get along with each other so when we decided to see other people we decided that we would only introduce our child to someone we would have a relationship with. He doesn't need to see every girl I go on a date with so I only introduce him to women I will have a relationship with. Since your child lives with you it is always going to be hard to date but hopefully you find a nice guy soon and it works out for you.
I think it's a personal choice. Only you know what is appropriate for you and your child. I think the main focus should be on the child. When you have older children, they might not care that you're dating and would probably be supportive. If you have a small child, I wouldn't introduce them unless you're planning to keep that person around. It's not fair to let your child bond to someone new and then have them deal with a separation later.
It seems like everyone has the same basic advice for this question: you should be sure that this person is going to stay around before bringing them around your child. I think this helps them in the long run with their own relationships but also it keeps them safe. You don't know what skeletons someone has in their closet and we all see enough of it on tv to know that it can happen to anyone. So my advice is to make sure that enough time has passed that you know the person well enough to trust with your most prized possession. Your date can get over hurt feelings, you can't get over something happening to your child.
Date as you want but don't do it in front of your children. I think the idea of inpermanence is a bad lesson to teach.
Have your dates meet you at determined location. Don't do pick-ups at home.
When a relationship has enough merit that you think it will be more long term, then introduction is appropriate.
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