Between You and Your Partner, Who Handles The Kids Better?

  1. Justjed profile image60
    Justjedposted 4 years ago

    Contrary to general opinion, I have seen some guys take good care of their children better than their women. Different strokes for different folks. So, who is better with the children between you and your spouse?

    1. Lisa HW profile image82
      Lisa HWposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      It depends what you mean by "handles" and "take good care of", but whatever you mean, I was always the one who was a whole lot more effective, engaged, and knowledgeable about each child, child development in general, human nature, "building a human a happy, well adjusted, person" , having comfortable and free two-way conversation with them, etc. etc. than their father.

      It's very true that some fathers can, of course, take excellent care of their children.  Some may even better at all of the kinds of things I mentioned above than their mother may be.  I think the ones who "take good care" in terms of feeding them right and keeping them safe, clean, and healthy are not at all rare.  The ones who have all the skills and knowledge that a lot of mothers (certainly not all) tend to have are more rare.

      My own father (who was "so much like my mother as far as being a loving, capable, person/parent went)  was alone with us when my mother was hospitalize for a lung infection for eight months.  He was great, and he managed to juggle work, a house, three kids (with one toddler who had been a premie and was hospitalized a couple of times when my mother was, so he'd juggle between hospital visits on top of everything else).   Even with all that, my father was clueless when it came to a lot of the aspects of being a parent that came so naturally to my mother.

      Long-term aside, a lot of fathers think they can handle the kids better because they have them for shorter stints of time, and the kids enjoy "the novelty" of it, so they behave well and stay happy when they're having "father time".  A lot of other fathers are very capable when it comes to things like knowing healthy foods, cooking, or organizing the house well; but they may think that's all there is to being a parent.  Then, too, there are those who think that scaring kids into behaving well is "parenting", so let's not forget those.   And, there are those who approach parenting from an "academic only" viewpoint but are oblivious to a lot of the "micrscopic", day-to-day realities and factors and decisions on how to handle things go.

      Having said all that, sure.  I'd agree that there are fathers who would do a better job than even "great" mothers, and there are certainly fathers who do as good or better a job as "not-so-skilled" mothers.  I do think, though (and I'm not aiming this at you AT ALL), a whole lot of fathers have a lot more confidence in their own parenting skills/abilities than they should have (or would have if they had a better understanding of all the things involved in being a parent).

  2. tobey100 profile image60
    tobey100posted 4 years ago

    My wife, hands down.  I pretty much let anything slide as long as there's no gun fire and nobody's bleeding more than a pint a minute.  We have five boys so you'd think I'd be the pro but sadly, that's not the case.  They come to me about cars, tools and to borrow money but their mom's the expert on everything else.