How To Balance The Precarious World Between Being A Mother And An Artist
The Story Of Two Rooms Becoming One
One door reads motherhood and one door reads artist...that is what i formulated in my mind...i somehow decided that two rooms were important for self expression...when i walked through the artist door i had to be completely absorbed in that space without letting any other energy into that domain...and when i entered the motherhood room i could be a full time mother...i would push out any other thoughts that threatened to take me away from being the greatest mother i could be...these two rooms dominated my life and thoughts...they had completely different paint colors and furniture choices...they had different light sources and floor coverings...in short they were individual in every sense of the word
i thought i was brilliant in coming up with this metaphor...i was completely sure i had found the truth that would set every mother free...the truth that the two worlds/rooms had to be kept separate in order for the person outside of motherhood..the artist...to survive...i fought day and night to keep this virtual deception going...and deception is what it really boiled down to
i realized ever so dramatically that the two rooms hindered my progress as both an artist and a mother...what it did was encourage me to put time limits and restrictions on both parts of me...it set the stage for the battle to begin...i kept saying that i wanted my life to be artistic in every sense of the word but i was isolating my art...pushing it into a corner...further into its room...what started to happen was-- i stopped visiting the artist room as often...i found myself frequenting the motherhood room more...my natural instincts kicked in hard...i kept saying--putting motherhood first was what was important...what i hadn't realized (with all of the bouncing around) was that if i let things be...i would naturally be a great mother and at the same time my art would get a chance to breathe...my art would visit me while i took my little girl for a bike ride
i finally realized i had to take the two rooms and merge them...make one big beautiful bright playful room...one magnificent place to share...grow...shine...write...and love in...that is now my life...and a big part of my journey as a creative being
so i finally figured out "HOW TO BALANCE THE PRECARIOUS WORLD BETWEEN BEING A MOTHER AND AN ARTIST" ---by never looking to be one without the other and to gracefully let the two become one!
A Few Points
1. always look for the most positive thing that is going on in the present and focus on it
2. share your time...without time limits...go back and forth between creative time and mommy and me time as much as you can...without self criticism
3. ask your partner or friends and family for help with children...carve out your alone creative time...if you don't --no one will hand it to you
4. meditate somewhere in the chaos...even for 30 seconds at a time
5. smile and carry a note book to jot down creative ideas...keep one beside your bed for those late night inspirations or early morning pre-day begins brainstorms
6. take action especially when it seems like you are climbing a mountain
7. congratulate and encourage yourself as much as possible
8. find creative things for your child or children to do while you are being creative
9. explain to your child what you are trying to accomplish...they understand way more than we think they do
10. let go of all your fears
New Documentary film about women balancing lives and artists and mothers. Directed by Pamela Tanner Boll, co-directed edited by Nancy C Kennedy. Check out our website at www.whodoesshethinksheis.net
I came across this film a couple of evenings ago and thought it needed to be added to this article!! I loved the film and found inspiration within its pictures!
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