Lies my parents told me!
The Real Deal
Kids are gullible, I get that, but the lies that mom and dad tell??? Shame on them! Thinking back to my own childhood I realize that both my mother and my father were habitual liars...and it makes me laugh to think that I actually believed every single one of them.
Here's some doozies they used to use on me:
Don't swallow watermelon seeds, otherwise a watermelon will grow in your stomach. (I was totally convinced that my uncle Al had broken that golden rule)
If you cross your eyes like that again, they're gonna stay that way! (Is that what happened to Marty Feldman?)
If you tell another lie your nose is going to grow long like pinochio's. (hope it's not gonna be made out of wood...)
I have eyes in the back of my head. (I searched her hair in vain whenever her head was turned)
Big foot is gonna come look into your bedroom window if you don't go to sleep. (we were on the second floor and I was terrified! I actually slept against the wall, blankets up to my chin and my eyes toward the window, just in case)
If you do that again, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week. (is that possible??)
If you swallow that gum your insides are gonna stick together. (hmmmm)
I know EVERYTHING...( right. and Donald Trump's hair is real)
And......lies I told my son:
When I was little everything in the world was black and white. Color came later, just look at these pictures....
If you keep blowing your nose like that you're nostrils are gonna flare out and stay that way...
If you get out of bed the flying monkies are going to carry you away
Yes, I did it too, and I admit that I had fun doing it....poor kid
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