Lies my parents told me!

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The Real Deal

Kids are gullible, I get that, but the lies that mom and dad tell??? Shame on them! Thinking back to my own childhood I realize that both my mother and my father were habitual liars...and it makes me laugh to think that I actually believed every single one of them.


Here's some doozies they used to use on me:

Don't swallow watermelon seeds, otherwise a watermelon will grow in your stomach. (I was totally convinced that my uncle Al had broken that golden rule)

If you cross your eyes like that again, they're gonna stay that way! (Is that what happened to Marty Feldman?)

If you tell another lie your nose is going to grow long like pinochio's. (hope it's not gonna be made out of wood...)

I have eyes in the back of my head. (I searched her hair in vain whenever her head was turned)

Big foot is gonna come look into your bedroom window if you don't go to sleep. (we were on the second floor and I was terrified! I actually slept against the wall, blankets up to my chin and my eyes toward the window, just in case)

If you do that again, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week. (is that possible??)

If you swallow that gum your insides are gonna stick together. (hmmmm)

I know EVERYTHING...( right. and Donald Trump's hair is real)


And......lies I told my son:

When I was little everything in the world was black and white. Color came later, just look at these pictures....

If you keep blowing your nose like that you're nostrils are gonna flare out and stay that way...

If you get out of bed the flying monkies are going to carry you away

Yes, I did it too, and I admit that I had fun doing it....poor kid

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Comments 36 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Very funny, and I do believe I heard many of them when I was a kid. It's some sort of tradition that is passed down from generation to generation.


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

hey billybuc!!! Thanks so much for reading =) yes, we all played victims until we had our own kids......and I'm sure my son will do the same!!


TamCor profile image

TamCor 4 years ago from Ohio

Loved this! I remember many of those same things from my own parents, haha.

My own favorite is one that my husband used to tell our kids when they were little and we took them mushroom hunting. He told them to holler "Shazam!" as soon as they saw one, to make it freeze in place so they could get it...it was hilarious, listening to them hollering that every time they found a mushroom, lolol...

I really enjoyed this--thanks a lot! :)


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

TamCor...Oh my gosh, how cute is that??? I have a great visual and love it!! Thanks for reading =)


btrbell profile image

btrbell 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

Perfect, I love it. I still use the eyes in the back of the head one! Thank you, up and funny!


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

btrbell...thanks so much for reading and for the up and funny =)


Ana Louis profile image

Ana Louis 4 years ago from Louisiana

Oh my oh my, you should never tell a lie. The things parents have to resort to. This was so refreshing. I loved it. I honestly cannot remember my parents telling me any of those things, but I sure told them to my children and laughed by ribs sore later. Now we all have a good laugh over those silly little lies. My daughter did not like Black Eyed Peas, but she liked having long hair, so I told her that Black Eyed Peas make your hair grow really long. She ate them.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Good to see my mother and her husband were somewhat normal. Thank you


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

Ana Louis...that's perfect...I'd love to hear about some of the other lies that people were told growing up=) thanks for reading!


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

Mhatter99, Ah, so you were a victim too.... LOL!


bethany_p profile image

bethany_p 4 years ago

Love this - but as a parent now I do believe in the lies - they are really helpful parenting tools, sometimes things need a really long explanation (How do babies come out of the mommy's tummy? says my 3 year old). Until they are of age, sometimes the little white lies are easier.


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

bethany p..I totally agree! Thanks for your input, and for reading =)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota

I was laughing reading this and wondering why we all do this to our children. I think were trying to make things easier in the parenting department but at that same time traumatizing our kids. LOL I really enjoyed reading this hub. Hit lots of buttons.


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 4 years ago from Oklahoma

Too funny! I have definitely heard those, and recently started using them on my own poor, impressionable toddler. Imagine my dismay when I did not develop that second set of eyes when I became a mother!

My family is Irish and full of self-proclaimed comedians. Every kid for generations has been told that if they could kiss their elbow they would change into the opposite sex. Yeah, we all tried it too. We were also told that if we misbehaved "the little bird" would tell our parents. I used to hate to see robins because I thought they were snitches!

Thanks for the late night laugh!


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 4 years ago from sunny Florida

Still chuckling...and I kept waiting for that watermelon because I swallowed a gazillion.

As for the eyes in the back of the head, I admit, I told the same lie to children that I taught the same thing. I DID have them and they are still in working order now that I have a baby grandson again.

Thanks for starting my day with some humor....ps


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

easymedianetworkk..thanks for reading=)


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

Minnetonka Twin..hello! thanks for laughing along with me!!


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

Sharkye11, Ah yes, I forgot about the little bird....my mother had the same one..LOL!


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

pstraubie48...thanks for reading and for your fun comment! And I still look for the eyes in the back of my mom's head..LOL!!!


dalton71482 profile image

dalton71482 4 years ago from Tennessee

Very cute. Sometime you have to do what you have to do if you want your kids to mind.


Ciel Clark profile image

Ciel Clark 4 years ago from USA

Kids will believe whatever you tell them -- why not tell them true things?? If my kids ask things I don't want to answer, I tell them that I don't want to answer, but I don't give them a fake response. Occasionally I have avoided the question (Is Santa real? -- Santa is a nice idea).


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

thanks for your comment dalton71482...and I agree =)


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

Ciel Clark, thanks for reading. The "lies" are white ones and all in good fun! They've been passed down from generation to generation and mean no harm=)


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

Very funny my friend. I always got "Keep doing it and your face will stay that way." Too bad that was how MY face already looked.


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

shiningirisheyes..hi! thanks for reading and for your comment! Yes, I was told that too....there's so many "lies" that I've forgotten about =)


turnerkristina35 profile image

turnerkristina35 4 years ago from Henderson, nv

I was told the watermelon thing, usually if there was a woman pregnant in my presence haha. Whenever I was pregnant and was asked if I was, I would jokingly reply; "nope I swallowed a watermelon seed again!"


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

turnerkristina35....that's cute=) thanks for reading and commenting!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

Hi Moonfairy, your Parents must have exchanged Notes with my Parents. Fun, Fun, read, I could certainly Relate...Especially your FACE will stay that way!


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Very interesting and enjoyable read. It is a fact that most of us have heard these words and even passed them on to our children.

Voted up, interesting.


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 4 years ago Author

b.Malin

rajan jolly

Thanks to you both for enjoying and commenting. I did have fun remembering all those "lies"!!!


innerspin profile image

innerspin 3 years ago from uk

Flying monkeys? I would have had nightmares! Fun read. thanks!


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

thanks innerspin....the flying monkeys from the wizard of oz terrified me, so of course they became ammunition =)


HoneyBB profile image

HoneyBB 3 years ago from Illinois

This is hilarious and so true. I heard all the same lies from my parents and I fell for them too! Thanks for sharing. This is the eleventh hub I read in 26 of the hubs I will read today honoring the victims of Sandy Hook. I read this hub in memory of Jesse Lewis, 6/30/06, male


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

HoneyBB, thanks f or reading and I am incredibly honored that you chose this hub to read as one of your 26. God bless Jesse Lewis...and thank you.


eddiecarrara profile image

eddiecarrara 3 years ago from New Hampshire

How about this one, "If you fall asleep on the couch, the gizmarchies will come out of the cemetery and get you" YIKES!!! Yes, that one scare the crap out of me :)


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

Oh my gosh....I forgot that one! I remember now that it used to scare you half to death....thanks for making me laugh!!!!

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