Childhood Manners

Victorian London
Victorian London

Children Learn By Example.

Cildren learn from what they see us doing far more than what we tell them to do.

"Do as l say not as l do" is a very outdated expression and certainly would not work with modern day children.

Is it any wonder

that our children have no manners?

that pushing to be first

is normal as they clammer

to the front ´cos only first will do?

Is it any wonder that a shock hits me and you?

OUR CHANGING WORLD

The advertisers SCREAM out that you need this and you need it NOW!

Our children are told that they must have the newest gadget before all their friends.

Sometimes l feel that by the time we have bought something , taken it home, wrapped it up as a present, the darned thing is already out of date!!! As our child unwraps the present there´´ll be an advert on t.v. in the background showing the NEWER version.!

O.K. l admit that is a slight exaggeration., but how often have we seen queues hours and hours before a shop opens to make sure people get this irresistible thing , whatever it happens to be.

A queue... At least there is a queue to begin with anyway, but have you ever witnessed the mad scramble into a shop which is offering incredible bargains on sale. Quick, come get one before we run out of them?!!

These things l have noticed on t.v involve adults, so is it any wonder that our children do the same.?.........

My memories of school, where you walked in single file, no running in the corridors etc.,has deteriorated into a great dash from one part of an enormous Comprehensive school to another for the childs´next lesson. No wonder they push and shove lest they get an angry teacher asking them why they are late for class. (Er,,´cos the chemistry lab is about a ten minute journey at full speed to your English class, Sir!)
Detention for ten year olds, (my parents would have been frantic if l wasn´t home at exactly the same time every day) Could the teachers not tell the naughty child he has detention tomorrow? or phone the worried parent , so they can stop imagining their ten year old being carted off by paedophile?

l realise all schools are not the same, but l am constantly amazed at different little things our children live with now. This is normal life to them , so is it any wonder that so many children struggle to have any manners.

l have 6 grandchildren. Each one is totally different from the other. Normal.., right?

But it´s hard to explain the hurt l feel for the ones who went to a massive comprehensive school, when l compare their experiences to the ones who go to a village grammar school.

This doesn´t mean all comprehensives are bad and all village schools are good.,

but l can see the difference in my grandchildren who have had similar upbringings at home yet the one lot are so street wise, it scares me. and the other ones are so innocent (as far as worldly - wise, l mean. They are not angels by any stretch of the imagination.)

They like to go down by the riverside to catch fish, the others, like to go down to the riverside with a bottle of cider......

Where oh, where should our children be getting a good example from?? Parents first, obviously.. If children have no proper home life, they´ll follow SOME example , but often not a good one. This cannot be helped in many households , where both parents work come home, cook, help with homework and teach their children good manners. Many families manage this beautifully. l admire every one of them .

Sadly too many parents seem to think that it is the teachers, schools, the government, anyone but the parents themselves who should teach the children EVERYTHING. l mean children going to school who haven´t learned to tie their shoelaces, haven´t learned to say ´please´and ´thank you´.. Can´t hold a knife and fork properly., the list of things that we took for granted,because we were taught from a very early age, is endless.

l love young people. My own upbringing although very ´proper´was a mixture of seriously sad happenings and chaotic ones, but somehow it´s the happy memories in between the chaos that l remember the most. When my 3 brothers and l get together, we laugh so much, at even the horrible memories because between us we have somehow turned those memories into a huge joke that only we understand.

The problem of children today who haven´t been taught any manners, pales into

insignificance when you think of some of the largest city schools where knives and even guns are the problem. Again , whose fault is it?. Can we really point the finger at any one person or organisation? Do our children simply reflect real life, now?.

This hub is not meant to be purely critical, l would love some answers, but l don´t think anyone has the answers? We all have to do our best with our own families and it´s not easy.

l have the deepest sympathy for my friends who teach and now can´t wait to retire from a job they once loved.

Only time will tell how the next generation of the creme de la creme will run this country. (Shudder!)

newest addition to our family. Are you going to change the world, little Ollie? You and all your mates?. Good luck with that, son. xxx
newest addition to our family. Are you going to change the world, little Ollie? You and all your mates?. Good luck with that, son. xxx

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Comments 30 comments

Alethia profile image

Alethia 5 years ago from In the shadows, USA

Manners start at home. First and foremost, my children have been taught by my ex husband and me that they do not demand anything from us or there will be a consequence. If they want something, they know that they have to either wait for their birthday or save the money up themselves. Secondly, my children rarely watch cable/satellite tv because of the advertisements on there geared toward children. They watch local channels like qubo. We cannot control advertisements, but we can correct the behavior and attitudes our children display.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

First Dim what a beautiful baby..and Ollie will change the world!

I agree about the manners, gadgets and everything in between. It is the parents responsibility..but working in a school environment really opened my eyes. The kids with the most and have the latest style..ect are the worst in manners..the little ones with nothing are the most loving and with greatest manners. Things can not buy a good child. Thanks for writing this..wonderful hub.

Sunnie


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

l agree with you wholeheartedly that manners begin at home. Plenty of love , then discipline is not so hard for them to take.

Thank you for commenting


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

Hi Sunnie, It´s interesting what you say about the children who have more material things are the ones without good manners.

Glad you like Ollie. Hee Hee. xx


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Hi Dim,

Such a good topic. I know it kind of made me think about this..I think that it is not always the case but I do see it so much..the children with a lot don't speak, they are rude, and have such an air about them..while the little ones who are a little scruffy and just want a hug..I really don't think manners has to do with self confidence either,,I think that children are so involved with their computers, mechanical gadgets that are left to their own devices..they just don't know.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

Good point. Like the tiny tots who are put to sit in front of a t.v. screen all day as though the t.v. is a baby sitter. It´s a shame. Some t.v for children can be very educational, but there hs to be a balance. l feel sorry for many of the children who appear to ´´have it all´´. Thanks for your comments. God bless.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...congratulations on publishing 100 hubs my friend - and what a hundred they've been!!!!! Always a provocative thoughtful read - and this landmark hub is no exception - it's been a pleasure and a honor to have known you over the last year - you are very much respected and appreciated by yours truly - and I always look forward to hearing from you!


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Great Hub! I enjoy reading and writing these kind of Hubs. I am only 33 but I already find myself talking like my parents! This generation today is much different then mine...and I thought I was always going to stay cool! Now I'm old fashioned. Great Job!

JSMatthew~


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

It´s true, J:S:Matthew. we all think we will not be like our parents, but it invariably happens . Ha Ha.

l appreciate your comment. Thank you.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

Dear Epi, l might have known you´d notice the 100 mark. You are so kind to me with your comments.

Thank you again , vey much.

Happy days to you......


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

yes manners are the reserve of the home but teaching manners is a function of what parents DO not what they SAY.

whereas it is true that in many ways the world will change and will become different from the way WE were brought up yet it is also true that the children of today will also change and revert back to some of the solid values since without them the world cannot function anyways.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

Thank you very much for your comment. l agree that children will follow what we do and not what we tell them to do.

Sometimes also, l notice that different countries have different approaches to the way children are brought up but whatever we think, the world will change as it always has done with new generations.

Thank you again for taking the time to read my page and comment.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Congratulations Dim on reaching a 100 hubs.Here's to many more hundreds.

I really liked this one and as Sunnie so rightly points out , money and material possessions do not produce good manners and a caring attitude.

Sometimes these do tend to produce an air of 'I'm ok !'

I have to say also that little Ollie is gorgeous.

Here's to sharing many more hubs.

Take care

Eiddwen.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

Thank you so much. l do so enjoy the hubfriendships l´ve made with some. like you.

Thanks for all the lovely things you say.

Take care.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 5 years ago from Sunny Florida

Manners should start at home. Unfortunately we seem to be spending a lot of our time at school teaching respect, honesty, self-respect, and many other core values that used to be taught at home. There are children whose parents have taken the time need to teach them these things but there are a growing number who do not. What a shame for the children.


truthfornow profile image

truthfornow 5 years ago from New Orleans, LA

TImes have changed.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

HI KoffeeK-------

l feel as you say . Manners and all basic decency should be taught at home. This is not an old-fashioned idea .It still works in some cultures.

l too feel sorry for the children who are not taught simple things like ´please and thank you´ or to stand up to give an adult a seat on a bus. It´s not the childs´fault. l´ve seen grown men keep their seats on short journeys, while a heavily pregnant young lady stood until I got up for her. !


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

Thank you truthfornow for reading my page and leaving a comment.

You are right, of course, times change and many things for the better. l just find so many children are not taught basics like please and thank you and l find that sort of change a bit sad.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

Dim ~ You did it! 100 hubs! A big congratulations!!!

And what a wonderful hub this is. It seems as though children have a sick sense of entitlement these days. You have explained it very well. I'm sorry to admit that even my own grandchildren have to have the best, the very latest and the most expensive. Good manners are learned in the home and practiced in public. But peer pressure seems to be the enemy, along with the media. But oneday, life will have to teach children what they fail to learn in the first place. Great hub. Rated up and pushed all the buttons. Blessings to you, my friend ~ vocalcoach


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

You are a REAL support to me. Thank for the lovely comments. l , too see my own granchildren (not all of them but 2 in particular) have to have their T-shirts and trainers of a certain make, the latest in mobile phones seem to be all singing all dancing ones. Do they make the tea, as well?

Such is life. Thank you so much for your support.

God bless

Dim xxxxxxx


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

I LOOOOOOVE Ollie! Yes he will change the world, especially when he's 16 and some classmate posts this hub everywhere - just kidding.

I agree with everything you said actually, although I am not a mother, what a fitting hub here on Mothers Day, I think parents must own responsibility in their childrens character and behaviors. Maybe we all feel this way as we grow older as I remember my mother saying she can't believe how defiant and disrespectful my young generation was.

It's a new generation and I do think things are different. The fact that you said there is no right answer was spot on, I too don't believe there is a formula, but it must come from the majority of the parents

Excellent topic Dim

Thank you

lyrics

xoxoxoxoxoxo


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

Thanks for stopping by. Always enjoy your opinions.

Take care,

Dim x


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Wow 100 hubs - congratulations and what a fabulous topic to choose for this 100th one. There is so much peer pressure these days and this leads to so many problems. Yes manners are taught and should be taught at home but children have to be of very strong character not to circum to peer pressure. Totally brilliant hub Dim.Up and pressing your buttons.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

Lovely to see that smile on my page again. Thanks for the comment. l think peer pressure is much harder on children today than ever before.

Thanks again for stopping by.

Take care,

Dim xx


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago

Great thoughts Dim. Thank you dear!


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

always makes me happy to see that yellow and orange and a bicycle on my page. Take care. x


goprisca profile image

goprisca 5 years ago from Bangalore

Hai, I love this hub and way of expression.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

very kind of you. Thanks and pleased to meet you on hubpages, goprisca


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 5 years ago

Well done hub. Thank you for writing about a topic that is so often overlooked. As usual, your writing brings home so many good points.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain Author

it´s kind of you to say so. Thank for stopping by.

Take care,

Dim

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