mommysays crazy babies, bad behavior and throw up
I need silence
It is funny how some days are just so much more difficult to get through than others. Today was a full agenda complete with phone calls that needed to be made and interviews for work to be scheduled. I have to be honest, it was hell.
There was so much noise yet the boys were really not saying anything they needed to say. There was play talk and screeching about “mine” or just chanting the same phrase over and over until I want to rip my ears off. While I write this Dylan is chanting “walking on the floor” over and over. He has to be in the 100s now and nobody knows why. I kind of want to cry. It is like a drop of water hitting me in the forehead. Dear Lord, make it stop for a second.
Dylan is also obsessed with his new flip flops, as am I, they are adorable, so today while I was trying to schedule interviews he just kept saying “my toe-toes Mommy, see my toe toes” I said yes, I see them. I kissed them. I tickled and poked them. I pointed to the phone and made the “Shhh” signal. He got louder. I left a message that rambled on and even though I had a finger in my free ear, I still am not sure I used words in their proper form or if I sounded drunk.
I began to try to escape as I waited for people to answer their end of the phone. The tension built as I realized he was just following me saying it even louder. Then came the “I want them off…NO, I want them on” tantrum.
I work from home. I know I am blessed to be here not missing a thing, but some times I want to miss just a little of all this. I try to work and I feel unproductive and frankly not smart since I can’t finish a sentence. I can’t hear the thoughts in my head. I try to just be Mommy all day and I feel guilty for not getting work done. Either way, I always suck.
But there are days when it just seems to flow and I am channeling grace and patience. Last week, Dylan got sick in Target while we were having a bite to eat at the Pizza Hut Express. I caught the mess that just kept on giving in every available napkin and got him cleaned up in the car with fresh clothes. He was so grateful. It was one of those mothering moments when I know I am doing all the right things and saying exactly what he needs to hear. He smiled and said thank you and that he felt better. Then he threw up when we got home.
But I handled the whole day with calm, love and concern…and it all came so natural. I cradled his head in my lap and stroked his temples and all was better. And my day felt easy to me. Yet, today with the crazy loud chanting and wrestling and tantrums, I want to hide in a closet.