Spanking or Corporal Punishment-Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child

Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child

My children are grown now but when they were young, ninety-nine percent of the time taking away certain privileges worked well as far as discipline goes. In their younger years there was only a few occasions when a couple of swats with a switch would do. This stings but does not injure and believe me this helps them to remember what they did to deserve the correction and didn't want to repeat the action that caused them the spanking again. When they reach the teen years, spanking is not an option. At this age I believe the only method that will generate favorable results is the action of taking away a specific privilege.

We have charge of the moral and logical training of young children for a short time so we should manage this supervision discerningly.

Let me note something right now before I back up what I'm saying with scripture. I am speaking to parents who are acting in the best interest of the child. Not parents who drink, take drugs, view their children as a nuisance or have anger issues then proceed to take out their frustrations on innocent children. Just keep in mind the fact that their Father in Heaven is watching you and knows all! If you mistreat or harm a child you will answer to God for it.

Most importantly, if the child's action(s) on rare occasions does warrant a spanking, it should always be done at home and by a loving parent, no one else. Then the spanking should be followed up with a discussion about whatever caused the bad behavior or incident and various ways for the child to handle the situation differently in the future.

If you feel your child needs a spanking of more than a couple of light swats with a switch-don't do it. If you feel the child needs this often, you are wrong. If it doesn't work the first time-it's not going to work at all. More is not better. In fact it may be too late to spank or may not be the right choice for that particular child. If your child's behavior makes you feel upset or angry, don't even think about spanking. Stop right there and seek outside counsel and guidance.

I will use my own personal experience as a parent for an example. I have four children; they are all grown now but when they were young the two oldest, born a year and a half apart were rebellious and defiant. They conferred and backed each other in their efforts to be mischievous. My third child was born three years after the second child and required a swat only one time in her life. My youngest born thirteen years later never required a swat. She was very tenderhearted and keen on following the advice and instruction I gave her. She even required less verbal correction than the others did when they were at the same ages. The point is that you can not group all children into one category and correct them all in the same manner. Each child is different, each one has a distinctive personality. Some will require discipline more often than others. Some children may need only verbal correction and no spanking. It completely depends on how the child responds to your advice and instructions.

BE AWARE

Listen to what your child has to say. Be aware of their behavior and actions. If their behavior suddenly changes or if they suddenly begin "acting out" or become silent or withdrawn, something may be wrong at school, at the daycare, at church etc. Don't automatically take the word of an adult over the word of your child. (see the video below)

A Word About Corporal Punishment (Spanking)

Train and Direct Your Child With Love and Gentle Guidance

Proverbs 22 : 6

Train a child in the way he should go,

and when he is old he will not turn from it.

What the Bible Says about Discipline

Prov 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chastens him betimes (diligently)."

Prov 19:18 "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."

Prov 22:15 "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."

Prov 23:13 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."


Ephesians 6: 1-4 Children and Parents

1. Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 2. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3. If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

4. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

Matthew 19: 13-15

13-one day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could lay his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.

14-But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.”

15-And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left.

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Comments 28 comments

Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

schoolgirlforreal, thank you for your thoughtful comment and for voting.


schoolgirlforreal profile image

schoolgirlforreal 5 years ago from USA

Very well written and backed up as well, I could not say it better myself, you were wise to bring your children up as well as you stated, I cannot think of a wiser way to explain this or a more caring way of parenting. Awesome Hub!


Reynold Jay profile image

Reynold Jay 5 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

Little House on the Prairie is one of my favorite series of all time. I usually bring out the hanky at the conclusion of many episodes. We never needed any corporal punishment in my three decades of teaching.


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Granny's House, it seems that everything began to change when the government outlawed God and prayer in public schools, it opened the door for satan to come in and he did with full force. Then, the government began to slowly but surely take away parental rights and simultaneously brainwash our children. This sort of bad behavior and out of control kids is the result. Thanks so much for your input.


Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 5 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

Becky, I am so surprised with all the people that have written they believe Spare the Rod Spoil The Child here on your hub.

I read a hub a while ago on or about the same thing. You would not believe how mad and nasty people were with the ones that were commenting that they were spanked and spanked their children.

I was spanked. I had five kids, if they needed it, they were spanked.

Kids now a days are so rude. I hate to go shopping, because I can not stand other people's kids!

Kids now a days know they can get away with it. That is why many are so rotten.

When I was a kid and when my mom was a kid, you did not hear about kids going to schools and shooting up class mates and teachers. We did not have all these rotten gangs that beat, kill and rob innocent people.

Now a days act like the world OWES them.


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Pollyannaiana, The bible does give clear directions on raising children; if people would follow that advice, the jails and prisons wouldn't be filled beyond capacity. If the government would just allow parents to parent, the USA would be a much safer and better place. Thanks for voting and commenting.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

I did a hub on this too and I agree, it is what the bible says and being outlawed is what brings more power to the children than the parents, I said I am sure glad I beat that deadline, but usually a hanging ping pong paddle kept my two in shape, they were extremely well behaved until teens really and the paddle only disappeared once or twice.

Polly


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Mrs. J.B., It's hard to believe how things have changed so much in the last 25-30 years. Our parents knew better. If my mom were alive right now, she would be in shock at the magnitude of which the government controls every aspect of our lives, including how we rear our children. The rules, regulations and laws that are imposed upon us are exactly why the jails and penitentiaries are filled beyond capacity right now. This plays into a huge part of why there is so much teen-age brutality, stabings and shootings at school. Thanks for voting and commenting.


Mrs. J. B. profile image

Mrs. J. B. 5 years ago from Southern California

Growing up we were spanked no if and or buts about it. I laugh when I think my Mom would have been put in jail with today's laws. 911 is on speed dial with most kids nowadays. That is why I think things like yes ma'am, no thank you, may I please etc. do not exist anymore. Great hub and well written. I loved it.


Jlava73 profile image

Jlava73 5 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

I never had to spank my children - there were just consequences / loss of priveldges / as you mentioned, coupled with a lot of talking things through. I like how you accentuated the key points. Thought provoking article! :)


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

carrie, I agree. Thanks for commenting.


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

I couldn't agree with you more Becky. Growing up in a family of 9 children, we received a few spankings and learned from them. A great hub with good advice.


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Dolores, as I mentioned each child is unique. What works for one may not work for another. I agree that if the child responds to this style of parenting then your technique is a success. Thanks for your valuable advice.


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 5 years ago from East Coast, United States

Spanking was common when I was young. Some parents even kept a paddle to use while whacking the child. My parents did not approve. My mother's main punishment was The Look. Getting that harsh look of disapproval from my mother was worse than a whack on the rear.

My own kids - I gave them time out in a chair. Doing nothing. It was amazing how a wild, bratty kid who would not listen and was acting like a maniac would suddenly, when instructed to do so, sit quietly with few complaints. Every complain brought an extension of the down time.


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Good advice. It sounds very practical. When our daughter Becky was going to school she had to attend Special Education because of her severe dissabilities. It was a long eighteen years of closely watching, and monitoring everything that went on in the education system. We constantly had discussions with Superintendents of Education when we felt something was not done right. I am glad it is all in the past now. God Bless You. Great hub. GBY.


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Peggy, thank you for sharing your personal experience about parental guidance. It seems that our parents were very similar, thank goodness. I appreciate your kind and thoughtful comment.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

It was common when I was growing up, and my parents seldom used it but when they did, it certainly made an impression. And then they talked about why they did it. They were terrific parents. Like you said, when kids are older, taking privileges away is more of a punishment. Parents need to be strong and exert guidance. It is the most important job they will ever have if done well. Excellent hub. Useful and up rating!


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Good for you Dave. Thank God for strong Christian parents like you.


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 5 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

Amen dear sister. No court could ever tell me how to raise up a child of mine, not ever.


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Kashmir Independentwriter and Dave, Yes I realize that many parents are living in fear but we must rise above it and be willing to do what is right and best for our children, even if we have to defend our actions in court. I believe this way; if you deem it necessary to spank your child for their own benefit under the guidance of the scriptures and with the eyes of God overseeing (knowing that God is watching and holding you accountable for directing, training and guiding the little children he has entrusted to your care and supervision ) then we can't let the earthly courts and laws dictate, approve or disapprove of following this instruction from God no more than we can let the courts decide when, where, how or who we worship. Thank you for your thoughts and comments.


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 5 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

As someone who grew up in the 50s and 60s if I got out of line both parents would deal with the situation. Mom would chastise me verbally, and then I'd here,"Son this is going to hurt me more than it does you, as my dad began to give me a spanking. The way I perceived things even then, they did what had to be done because they loved me.


independentwriter profile image

independentwriter 5 years ago from the Snowy Northeast

Definitely a very interesting read. I was spanked when I grew up. I definitely needed the correction. The only problem is that times have changed and it's no longer accepted practice. In fact many times, it can be viewed as assault and battery upon a child and many times it's a felony depending on the age of the child. Good hub!


kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 5 years ago from Massachusetts

Hi Becky great hub, i agree with you but i think many parents are afraid to spank their kids in fear of being prosecuted by the state .


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Pamela and PracticalMommy, thank you both for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences concerning this subject. I appreciate your thoughtful comments.


ThePracticalMommy profile image

ThePracticalMommy 5 years ago from United States

I was spanked as a child, and I turned out to be a well adjusted adult. My parents, though, like you mentioned in your article, did it out of love and never to hurt me or my siblings. Spanking was used to get my attention so that they could show me what I was doing wrong. Using it in that manner isn't wrong. It's called redirection. It's the parents who are abusive that have given spanking the bad connotation.

Thanks for a great read.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

I think your advice is right on the money. Spanking was certainly considered normal punishment when I was your but my parents probably spanked me twice and I gave them few problems. It is so much better to choice a punishment to fit the crime so to speak.


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

marellen, I know what you mean about parents feeling the pressure of political correctness and government control being imposed on every aspect of our lives but I feel we have to take a stand when it comes to the moral and practical training of our children. We can't let those we have placed in authority over us control the way we as parents choose to raise our children, especially since they are making and enforcing rules and regulations that lead to highly destructive and damaging outcomes for our children. Thanks for reading and commenting.


marellen 5 years ago

I couldn't agree more but I do think that when a child acts out in public, parents often feel incapable of responding for fear of what others will say or do. I think a little swat on the behind is fine, nothing severe just lets the child know those actions won't be tolerated.

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